A/N: Yeah, I know. 5000 years to update. So here's a new one. Yay, Merry Christmas. It's all trory-ness, of course, the best.

I don't own Gilmore Girls or Far Away by Nickelback.

You know, you know

I love you

I have loved you all along

And I miss you

Been far away for far too long

I keep dreaming you'll be with me

And you'll never go

Stop breathing

If I don't see you anymore

Rory shifted her hips and shoulders, trying to shift the weight above her. She was laying under Tristan, her eyes closed and her lips fused to his as they laid on his bed. Upon feeling her move, he pushed down on the arm that was resting next to her on the mattress, elevating himself to relieve the pressure on her. But a smile tweaked the corner of his mouth as she wrapped a leg around his hips, pulling him back to her. She shifted after a moment, breaking away, but he immediately kissed her again.

"Tristan." she whispered, breaking away, "I have to breathe."

His lips found her neck and he began trailing hot, open mouthed kisses down the length of it, "You've been breathing since January. However, I haven't kissed you in ten months. Therefore this takes precedent over breathing."

She rolled her eyes, resting her hands on his chest and pushing him away lightly, "Tristan-" but she was cut off as his lips once more found hers, his tongue probing deep into her mouth, pulling her back out into him. Rory broke away after a moment, knowing that if they got caught up they would never work anything out, "-we have to talk about what we're going to do."

He'd been leaning down to kiss her again, but stopped and raised his head slightly, smirking, "Well gee Mary, if a year ago I'd known you wanted me to talk dirty to you. . . . ."

She laughed, shaking her head and sitting up, "I bet you're real proud of that one."

He grinned, "It was rather witty, wasn't it?"

Rory bit her lip, glancing around his room, "Are you sure your parents won't be home any time soon?"

Tristan nodded, "Yeah. My dad doesn't get off until seven and my mom is visiting her sister."

"Are you sure he won't get off early?"

"I'm sure."

"But what if-"

He cut her off, taking her hands in his, "Mary."

"But he might-"

"Mary." he kissed her gently.

She sighed, hating that she had to be so paranoid, "You're sure?"


Rory nodded slowly, biting her lip, "Fine. So what are we going to do?"

He shrugged, standing from the bed and walking over to the window, "Be together?"

"You mean, like, openly?"

He looked over at her, his eyes locking with hers, "Yes, I mean like openly. As in you break up with Adam and get back with me. And we walk around school together and I introduce you as 'Hey, this is Mary, my girlfriend'."

She looked up at him in disbelief, shaking her head minutely, "We can't."

"Why?" he asked as if it were the most sane thing in the world.

"How long do you think it will take for that to get back to your parents?"

His eyes darkened and his chin lowered a fraction of an inch, "So?"

She stood, "So, you'll have to leave again."

"And we'll be together. Why is that so bad?"

"Because you'd be half way down the east coast. We wouldn't see each other for a year and a half."

He chewed on the insides of his cheeks, looking around the room, "Well then what do you propose? Hide it? Because face it, neither of us can handle not being together."

She crossed her arms, looking down slowly, "I know."

"So then what do you want to do?"

Rory looked out of a window on the same wall Tristan was standing against and walked over to it slowly, never looking at him. She chewed on her bottom lip and he took a step towards her slowly, but then stopped. "Hide it." she said quietly.

He shook his head slowly, "Rory-"

"We have to."

"No we don't."

"Yes, we do."

He took a step closer, "Rory, you hide something when you're ashamed of it-"

She cut him off, turning to face him, "Look Tristan, I love that you're being so sweet and so considerate and that you're willing to jump into this thing head first and get shipped off again, but I can't handle that. I had to deal with it last time and honestly, I don't think I could again."

He shook his head, "So then what? You break up with Adam and neither of us so much as look at somebody else? Because you know, I'm a good actor, but I'm not that good. These people have been around me since I hit puberty and honestly, they won't believe for a second that I don't have a girl or I'm not hooking up with anybody at parties. Plus that fact that you and Adam will be broken up and you won't be doing anything or dating anybody." He shook his head, having moved right up next to her, "You and me are the topic of conversation of the entire student body. Everybody's wondering when we'll get back together and what's going on with us. There's no way nobody will suspect anything."

She shrugged, "Then I won't break up with Adam."

Tristan completely stilled, his chin lowering a fraction of an inch, "What?"

She glanced over at him before sighing and looking back out the window, "You said it yourself: no one would believe us. So we'll make it believable. I'll stay with Adam."

His nose wrinkled in disgust, "No."


He took a step closer, "No. God, it kills me enough to see you with him now, but after we're back together? To still have to watch him touch you and carry your stuff and put his arm around you? No."

"It's the only way."

He shook his head slowly, moving closer to her as his voice dropped, "Rory, this isn't you." she looked down and he held her upper arms, leaning his face closer to hers, "You don't cheat on people. You're not like that."

She sighed, speaking quietly, "I know."

"So then why are you suggesting this?"

Her face rose slowly and he could see the beginning of tears pooling in her eyes as she shrugged minutely, her eyes focused on her right, refusing to meet his gaze, "I don't know." His right hand slid from her arm up to cup her cheek and his left hand raised to the bottom of her chin, gently moving her eyes to his. She swallowed as their gazed locked and blinked, the unshed tears clouding her sight, "I just. . .can't not be with you." she whispered, pressing her lips together as her gaze slid from him.

He looked over every inch of her face, uncertain of what to say. Her gaze slowly came back to him and he shook his head lightly, leaning down to capture her in a deep, searing kiss. He felt her shake gently, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. Rory's hands slid up his chest before clenching the material of his shirt between her fingers and increasing the pressure of her lips against his.

They jumped as a shrill ring echoed throughout the room. Rory moved to break away, but the pressure of Tristan's hands on her hips kept her in place. She gradually broke away and moved to grab her phone right before her machine picked up, "Hello?" She was silent for a moment, "Hey Adam." Upon hearing the name, Tristan wrapped his arms around her from behind and pulled her back flush against his chest, his lips finding her neck. Her jaw dropped, inhaling silently as he scraped his teeth along the junction of her shoulder and neck, his hand sliding up under her skirt. "Mmhmm." She closed her eyes, her head falling back onto his shoulder Tristan smirked against her skin, a small chuckle escaping his throat. "Yeah, I'm still helping Tristan catch up." He laughed, sucking on her shoulder blade gently as his hand moved further up her thigh Rory slapped his arm lightly and took a step away. "No that was a grunt. He fell off his chair." She shot him a withering glare and his lip quirked, a charming grin overcoming his face as he leaned against the wall, his eyes not leaving her.

She rolled her eyes, turning her back on him, "Yeah Adam, I know. But I have to go-" she fell silent as he cut her off, "-yeah, we're studying. I'll call you when we're done. Okay? Bye." She hung up and twirled around to face him, her eyes narrowed. He smirked and pushed himself off the wall, walking towards her, "You are the most uncooperative, incorrigible, hormone-" she was cut off halfway through her rant as he wrapped his arms around her and swung her closer to him, crushing his lips against hers. She planted her palms firmly on his chest and pushed him away, "- And don't think that just because you kiss me-" once again she fell silent as his mouth covered hers. She broke away stubbornly, "Tristan-"

"Rory." he mimicked, kissing her again.

She didn't kiss him back, "You can't do that."

"Do what?" he trailed kisses down her neck, pushing her against the wall.

"Kiss me while I'm talking to Adam."

He smirked, pulling away, "Because you can't control yourself when I kiss you?"

She pushed him back, her eyes rolling once more, "Because I get distracted easily. Besides, he's suspicious enough without you making this harder."

Tristan chewed on the insides of his cheeks, watching her fight to hold back a grin, "Mary, about this whole situation?"


"Well since you're not going to break up with Adam, technically you can't get mad about what I'm about to tell you."

Her head cocked back, eyes widening slightly, "What?"

He pushed on the wall next to her, moving himself away from her as he scratched the back of his head, "Well my parents are kind of. . . . ." he trailed off, looking around the room uncertainly.

"Are kind of. . . . .?" she supplied, taking a step closer to him.

"Kind of setting me up with Marissa Jenkins." he said quickly, looking away from her.

She stiffened, her jaw dropping slightly. So she hadn't been imagining the new girl flirting with him, "What?"

He sighed, looking around his room, "They just-I don't know. They've known her family for forever and they've all decided that we should be together." he shook his head, "I mean, I don't like her like that, but it's actually good that she's the one they want me to date."

He looked back over to see that she was obviously confused, "Why is that good?"

Tristan shrugged, "She's a prude-" Rory's eyes widened and Tristan saw that she'd taken his comment the wrong way. He stepped closer to her, shaking his head, "-what I mean is that she won't want to do anything. She went here up until half way through ninth grade and looking at her now, she hasn't changed that much. She won't try to throw herself at me or try to get me to do anything with her." he stopped speaking and Rory chewed on her bottom lip, glancing away from him as she crossed her arms over her chest. He moved right in front of her, wrapping his hands around the back of her elbows and pulling her an inch closer to him. "I won't have to do anything with her and it won't look weird."

"Tristan," she looked up at him and inhaled deeply, "I'm only saying this because it's what happened to me." his eyes narrowed slightly and she continued, "You go for the innocent girls, but they change. We were only together for three months before we slept together. You make me want to do things. I wanted to be with you completely, in every way. I didn't want to be innocent like before. You made me want to be bad. I wanted to know what it was that made every girl around me want you. Tristan-" she shook her head, so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't see his eyes darkening. "-when you touch me, it's like nothing I've ever felt before. I mean just when you look at me. . ." she bit her lip absentmindedly and his grip on her arms tightened, "I wanted to learn how to make you happy in bed and I wanted know what it was like, but most of all I just wanted you." she looked up at him to see his eyes nearly black.

Rory chewed the insides of her cheeks, thinking of a different approach. "I wanted you to teach me everything." she whispered, leaning up to speak into his ear, "I wanted you to touch me." her arms uncrossed and she clenched his shirt in her hands, bringing his body flush against hers as her hot breath danced over his ear, "I wanted you sneak through my window in the middle of the night and tell me how back you wanted to fuck me." she grinned, licking the shell of his ear lightly as she pushed her hips to his gently. "I wanted you to slam me against a wall and-" she gasped quietly as he grabbed her hips forcefully and ground them against his, silencing her momentarily. She kissed his ear gently, wrapping one arm around his neck while the other slid down to curl around one of his belt loops, "-yeah." she breathed, kissing his neck slowly as she pulled away until she could clearly see his face. He stared down at her, his breathing heavier. She bit her lip, back to her normal self, and nodded slowly, "And I used to think I wanted to wait until I was married."

He shook his head, his eyes dark, "So what, you think as soon as we start dating she'll want to jump me?"

Rory shrugged, moving to pull away but his hands on her hips kept her in place, nestled comfortable against him, "I'm just saying. . . . . ."

"Mmmm," he shook his head, leaning closer, "see, that's the thing, Mary. With you, I did it on purpose. That's the difference between you and Marissa. I didn't want to do ungodly things to her body the first time I saw her." Rory smirked, biting her lip as he spoke into her ear, "You on the other hand. . . . . ." he once more dragged her hips against his, "It was all I could think about at first."

She just rolled her eyes, moving to push him away, "I have to get home."

Tristan sighed, "Rory."

She ignored him, picking up her jacket, "I really do. My parents will start to wonder-"

He cut her off, "Oh come on, you aren't seriously mad about this, are you? I'm not even really going to be with her. You, on the other hand, liked Adam. . . . ." he trail off slowly.

Rory turned to face him surprised by the break, "What?"

He was silent, looking her up and down slowly, "You don't still like him, do you?"

She froze, her mouth suddenly dry, "What?"

Tristan's face visibly hardened as he watched her, "You never clarified about liking him or not."

Her mouth opened silently and they just stared at each other for a moment, "No." she said finally, her voice small.

Tristan just looked away, his face unreadable, "Yeah, you should get home."

Rory closed her eyes swearing quietly, "Tristan."

"You should get home, Rory."

She sighed, "Would you just listen to me?"

"Rory, seriously, you should go. I don't think you want to be around me right now."

"Tristan, come on, I've been with him for months. He's been a really good friend. I can't just start hating him-"

"Rory." the way he said her name silenced her more effectively than anything he'd ever done. It was a warning, the underlying message of not to talk to him about it right now came out loud and clear as he walked towards his closet.

"Tristan, he's a friend. That's all it is for me." he shot her another glare, but she continued, "I don't want to be with him. If I wanted him then I wouldn't be here." she shook her head, "Tristan, you don't need to feel threatened by him." He didn't say anything, just disappeared into the large side room. She shook her head, "Why are you being like this?"

"Like what?" he asked, looking through his clothes and refusing to look at her.

"Like you seriously think I like him when you know I don't." she followed him into the closet and stood in the doorway. He didn't answer, just pulled a sweatshirt off it's hanger. "Oh my gosh Tristan, you did the same thing with Dean, will you just give it a rest?" the muscles in his jaw clenched and she knew that she was pissing him off. Mentioning Dean was always crossing a line. Her arms crossed over her chest of their own free will, "Tristan, stop."

He still didn't spare her a glance as he grabbed a pair of tennis shoes and sat down to pull them on, "Rory, for real, you should get home. I'm sure Adam is worried about you. You might want to call him back."

She licked her lips in frustration, shaking her head as her eyes rolled, "Fuck it. We haven't even gotten back together yet and we're already fighting. This isn't going to work. Whatever." she turned to leave, expecting him to stop her. Her anger spiked when he didn't and she spun around, working to keep her voice from a scream, "What the hell is your problem, Tristan? You're back for two months and the whole time you're acting like you only want to be with me and it's supposedly driving you crazy to see me with him." she shook her head, swallowing hard, "Well I'm here, Tristan. I'm with you. I don't want him, okay? My God, how many ways do I have to show you before you'll believe me?"

He didn't answer, just stood and walked towards the door, silently thanking whatever higher power actually existed that she hadn't walked out, "You might want to go. I'm about to get piss drunk and I don't think you want to see me in that state."


He cut her off without looking at her, "In fact, can you hold on a second? I'm about to call Baker and ask him to come over and get drunk with me, cause God knows it's no fun by yourself." he pulled out his phone, but before he could finish dialing the number she'd snatched it from his hands, forcing him to look at her.

"What do you want me to say? I'm here. I don't want him. What the hell do you want from me?" He didn't say anything, just stared at her, his gaze unwavering. "Tristan!"

"Why won't you break up with him?" he asked quietly, staring her right in the eye.

She blinked slowly, not having expected him to speak, "I told you, it would look weird."

He shook his head minutely, "Not weird enough for them to send me off again and you know it."

Rory didn't say anything, just pressed her lips together and looked away from him, staring out the window for a moment before speaking. "I don't want to be with him."

Tristan chewed on the insides of his cheeks, "I can't watch you with him Rory, okay? I can't."

She looked up at him, her head tilted, "We don't have a choice." He pursed his lips, turning away from her, but she was instantly against him, forcing him to look at her, "Tristan." she whispered, leaning up to look him in the eye, "I'm not willing to risk you leaving again." He licked his lips, closing his eyes as he turned his face away from her. And it was the strangest thing to her. He never looked like this, defeated. Especially at a time like this when he'd just gotten what he'd wanted for so long. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "Tristan." she whispered quietly, resting her forehead against his, "Don't do this. Not now." He finally looked down at her, sighing tiredly as one of his hands cupped the side of her face, the other going to rest on her hip. Rory smiled, biting her bottom lip as he leaned down to capture her in a sudden, searing kiss. He forced her mouth open immediately and the hand on her hip ground her center against his. Possessive was the only word that passed through her mind as she gasped, clenching the back of his shirt as a wave of heat rocked her body.

They slowly broke apart, lingering in between each other for a moment. Tristan sighed, a silent apology in his breath as his hand ran through her hair from her scalp to the tips. Rory closed her eyes, feeling her hair slide through his fingers. "God, I missed you." he whispered, wrapping a lock of her hair loosely around one of his fingers. She smiled, looking up at him wordlessly, but at the same time her warm expression said more than her words ever could have as she trailed her fingers over his jawline lightly, her eyes never leaving his. He groaned, resting his forehead against hers, "I missed you."

I wanted

I wanted you to stay

Cause I needed

I need to hear you say

That I love you

I have loved you all along

And I forgive you

For being away for far too long

So keep breathing

Cause I'm not leaving you anymore

A/N: Yea, I know, you want to kill me, but come on people, who doesn't love a good secret love story? Exactly, no one. And yes, it's just a short filler, but this fic needed one after the last chapter, and also the whole issue with Tristan not being sure if Rory really likes Adam or not needed to get out there, so don't hate me too much. Hopefully since I'm on break the next chapter won't take ten years to get up.