22Friend Or Foe
Chapter 2
Gettin' a Profile ( a.k.a The Plan is Out There!)
Minerva McGonagall was looking at a screen: a computer screen. That it, was called a screen, she had forgot, even though her niece, her brothers daughter, had told her for at least five times. That she had been looking at the screen for about four hours she hadn't forgotten. Her niece had tried to tell her all about computers. "ALL" with big letters. That she almost didn't get anything of it was another thing - Damn computer, why in the name of Merlin hadn't she thought about mugglethings being complicated. But now she at least could "surf" the "internet" - strange names. After just quickly flipping through homepages, she was now reading a homepage about a movie. A movie she knew what was, she had only seen a movie once with her sister in law. Now what was it Dumbledore thought you could find on the Internet concerning You-Know-Who? That was beyond her. How could they find anything to defeat You-Know-Who with in the muggleworld, that they couldn't find in their own world? That was preposterous! And after she didn't feel like talking to him this soon after his mistreatment of her, she would just ask him tomorrow or maybe the day after.
"Aunt Minerva, how's going?" her niece came in to her own room. Her blue eyes were shinning with mischief, her dark brown hair freshly wet from a shower. Minerva had been using her computer and her room. Her niece wasn't a witch or had any magic ability; her brother had married a muggle. Some of the wizarding community were shocked about it; those who felt mudblods and muggleborn didn't belong, but she had always supported her brother. And she liked his wife, Juy and their daughter, Regina. Maybe they didn't understand their world so much, but they had a lovingly family.
"Well I finally think I've got the hang of this surfing stuff. Then of course I just have to install a computer back at Hogwarts, put the anti muggle enchantments off and make sure it doesn't interfere with the other protection. And find out what I'm looking for of course!" Minerva answered and showed Regina that she indeed could search on things all over the muggle world. "I almost deserve an O." Regina grinned
"Minerva, you know I don't know much about your world, what's an O?" she said slightly annoyed. Not so much at her aunt, but for almost constantly asking what things meant.
"Ups, sorry! O, is most likely the same as getting 13 or A+ in school! It stands for Outstanding" Minerva answered kindly. She knew it was frustrating to not know mostly of what your family talked about.
"Ahhh, with all due respect you don't get an "O", but probably a C-" Regina smirked now back to her humorous self.
"Ahh you wicked little hairy hobbit, why? I thought I was rather good!" after a look from Regina she added: "For a witch!"
"You suck! This a little infant could be taught, by a second and not four hours! And where did you learn the name: hobbit? I don't believe you've read Lord of the Rings?"
"Funny you should ask. I lost a bet!"
"A bet! With who?"
"Dumbledore!"
Just as she had said it, the doorbell rang, Regina left trotting with an "I'll get it, see ya aunt" and she was left with the computer once again. She had completely forgotten about that bet. Though she remembered it as yesterday: Dumbledore had found another muggle candy to devour, and she had told him that he ate too much candy. They had argued about that for at least a quarter of an hour (in front of the entire staff), which ended by him saying she ate too much fish, and it wouldn't surprise him if she was eating mice too in secret! That had really pissed her off. Which leaded too another disagreement about Animagus and the small side effects. All of it finished with them making a bet! The first one to make a Sitrusus Candyre potion and transfigure themselves to cats, then drink the potion instead of drinking a bottle of milk or eating a dish of fish, would win. - Damn Dumbledore, why was he always so provoked? That barmy old codger!
******
Ahh so this was a computer! Lord Voldemort thought while looking at a computer screen. "You're dismissed Macnair" Macnair left in a hurry (he had tortured him), he didn't get the computer quickly enough. He looked down at the muggle. The muggle looked at him with fear in his brown large eyes. He had short brown hair, cut below his ears and a rather abnormally big nose. It reminded him of Snape. Though this muggle was not wearing a frown of grudge against everyone, as Snape usually did. The muggle had a blue coat on, jeans and a shirt. He was trembling Voldemort noticed and smiled showing his teeth's.
"Welcome, Mr.?"
"Er. Mr. Minijon" the muggle answered him nervously. Voldemort fumed inside, that brainless flobberworm of a dogsbody, he had without any doubt forgotten to tell that muggle anything. Oh but Macnair would feel Lord Voldemorts wrath later.
"Well Mr. Minijon, the fellow who brought you in here, Macnair, did he tell you why you're here?"
". . just took . . .and - at.m- me." the muggle had obviously been put under Crucio. Macnair that unintelligent pile of trash! Now the muggle would stammer in all his answering. And it would acquire much more time to find out about using a computer if he had to translate the muggle's stammering.
"Ohh well, I'm sorry about that", he said without looking it, but the muggle apparently thought he was telling the truth, "My name is Lord Voldemort, as you already may have figured out, we are wizards, and I need your help with this computer." He looked at the muggle waiting for a reply - .don't loose it now. You can depose of him later.
The muggle finally said "I .you need ter' know 'bout 'puters"
Now he at long last was going to learn about the damn muggle computer, finally! And then he would find his plan. His plan to kill that damnable Harry Potter, pull the Wizarding World into another darkness - an everlasting darkness - and rule supreme. The image of Potters dead body lying on the ground, blood trickling down from his face made him smile. Yes that would all soon be, but now he had to figure this computer out first.
******
A side caught Minerva's eye. She actually smiled - How interesting, a homepage to chat with muggles all around the world, now that was kind of innovative. Regina had told her about it; chatting and she found it quite amusing. Now this was called . Should she? Nobody would know she would pretend to be a muggle. She smiled again. Looking the side down, she saw a dot called "downloading". Wasn't it the button? Yeah it was. She remembered Regina talking about "downloading" some chatting thing. She pushed it with the the computer started to at least that was what the computer told her. she waited.
And half an hour later she had it downloaded. And the amusement that had crept over her face now vanished. She, a witch, was finding some stupid muggle thing interesting and actually thinking of making a profile - Gee what am I doing. Okay something almost certainly said click in my brain and now I find muggle chatting amusing. I know it! My brother probably hexed the computer, he is always making jokes. Or it could be Dumbledore..Yeah it could be Dumbledores revenge for my soon-to-come revenge! Oh no I'm seeing conspiracies everywhere! What wouldn't Dumbledore and the Order say if they saw me now? Severus would be laughing his greasy slime ball of a head off.
She looked at the page, now showing her questions she had to answer to be a member. She started - They would never know. And well some fun she sure deserved!
Name:
Email:
Address:
Country:
Born:
Nickname:
Password:
Where a few of the questions.
Name: (hmm can't write my real if some other stupid witch found it amusing on 're the only one daft enough to do something like on the safe side.) Edith Agnes (What a stupid name.!)
Email: (What's that .. hmmm.I think I've heard of it on now Min, that so intelligent brain you've been praised I I don't have an idiot just invent one.. .) catwoman H.S.O.W.A.
Address: ( much do they need to be creative now..How about.) Willow crescent 45
Country: (Lets be heh.) Europe.(Arrghhh that's not witty.. Get a humour wonder the students think of you as the strict stern transfiguration professor with no sense of we'll just have to work on that.. )
Born (age): (Hmmf.. Not most certainly not answer that is this.. A needs to know my age.)
Nickname: ( .thinking.. Gee and I'm supposed to be wise and 't even think of a stupid 't be Min, Minerva, McG, .of course.I'm so smart..) Athenia
Password: (Password!. . 't remember that one anyway..Or that one..If I was Albus Dumbledore it would be something as simple as Sherbet Lemon or some other candy. He always does that with his own 's too easy, anyone could break his his sweet-not- doing-anything-out-of-the-rules deputy headmistress... .How heh) ********
******
Lord Voldemort was sitting alone in his room quarters. Glancing at a computer. His room was dark; the only light was a small lamp near the computer. Near his bed in the dimly shade of the light a body lay. Completely still. Voldemort looked around and grinned. After the muggle Minijon had told him all about the computer, he had killed him. Not with the Avada spell, that muggle didn't deserve the Avada, but with imperious. He had told him to choke himself. He sniggered. And just then a small whimper came from the floor. What the hell! Was that unworthy thing still alive? He turned around kicked the body in the stomach. And just as he had thought the thing dead, it started whining and crawled towards the far corner. How great! I, the greatest dark wizard of time, can't even kill a defendless pile of crab! He's going to pay that filthy muggle. And moments later there was a green light and a heavy thump. He is certainly dead now! If he is not Harry Potter in disguise of course. And he will die soon too. Just more painful. He cackled and continued to surf on the bloody net. He knew that HIS plan was out there. He'd just have to know where to look.
About half an hour later he thumped into a weird homepage. At first he didn't understand what the purpose of it was. But then he figured out it was some sort of homepage where muggles could talk/write with each other over the net. How stupid! Typical for such dung headed mules! I can't use this to anything. This idea about finding something on the net was stupid anyway. They're no things to help me here. What was I thinking using muggles things to help me? He was about to blast the whole thing in the air when he got an idea. But what if I got a profile at this stupid homepage; I then could find my plan, maybe. By writing to muggles. Of course not giving away my real identity. That's perfect! Harry Potter prepare to die! He looked at the questions he had to answer to login and get a profile.
Name:
Email:
Address:
Country:
Born:
Nickname:
Password:
Well now he only had to write some letters down. He grinned.
Name: (Name! He couldn't write his former name of course. Maybe someone may notice, though he doubted. And certainly not what kind of relation to his name .How about.!) Tomas Valero Middle (heh witty..)
Email: (Email?) Don't have right now! If you don't like it.! Prepare to and painful..
Address: (Address.! Hmmm. Something witty and ironic too..) Wolloflliwniapdnaerehteb road 666, valley of death. (Heh heh)
Country: (Country!) The world
Born: (When I was born! How many things do they need to know!) I was born in this world
Nickname: (Nickname, that's too easy) The Dark one
Password: ( ! Let me evil..! Aha..) **********
******
I'm finished.. with the second chapter! *Smiling while jumping up and down, accidentally puffs the computer of the desk! And have to buy a new one!* I hope you liked it? Or maybe you hated it? But anyways plz REVIEW.. Then I would be jumping up and down again like a crazy maniac. What a hilarious sight I must tell you! : D Ohh and now the fun stuff (I think it's fun, but my humour is dead) Voldemorts address is backwards...drum out for yourself..! (Gnæg gnæg) ohh I was just cackling on .. weird.. . .stop... ...
So here my A/N ends.
Or does it.
Oki it does...
But how do you know it really ends here.
Hmmm.
Hmmmm2...
THANKS for reading.. and reviewing...(If you haven't reviewed I'll send Voldie after I must tell you he is gettin' rather hungry..and if that doesn't work you'll have a special Scottish tempered woman after you..! Can you guess whom?
Bye for now. Chapter 3 up as soon as possible..
P.S Can you figure out what Min and Voldies passwords are..? Give a proposal and I may give you an answer..! Heh heh
And thank you punurple for reviewing..It had me laughing for and too can't wait to see where all of this wait I'm the 't I suppose to know that! Yeah defiantly poor thing.
And also thanks to eth, I'm glad you like my style and this fic.
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