Disclaimer: DBZ characters property of Akira Toriyama.
Goku smiled to himself as he leaned back in his chair. He'd just finished breakfast and intended to relax for a moment before heading off to train. Suddenly he heard a knock at the door.
"Goku-sa! Get that! I'm busy!" Chichi called from elsewhere in the house.
"Okay, Chichi!" Goku called back.
He opened the door and looked around, suddenly confused. Where was the knocker?
"Erm hmm," The sound of throat-clearing drew his attention down. There stood a short little person, with blue-ish skin and a pug-dog expression, dressed in an expensive looking but plain robe.
Goku peered at him closely. "Hey, Pilaf! It's you!" He said, breaking into his usual grin.
"Yes, it is I! Pilaf, Emperor of the World!" Pilaf declared. "Or I will be, when you give me the dragonballs."
"Haven't you given up yet?" Goku smiled, squatting down to make talking easier.
"No! I'll never give up! It's my destiny to rule!" Pilaf exclaimed, waving his arms at his frustration.
"But I can't let you take over the world," Goku said, a tiny bit more serious.
"But I've been waiting for years to use the dragonballs!" Pilaf's voice began to rise. "Every time I'm almost close to getting any of them, you or one of your friends runs around and picks them all up and uses up the wish! You're too fast for me to beat you to them! I want to make a wish!" Pilaf ended in a wail.
"But Pilaf!" Goku protested as the wail wound down. "I think we all ready have an Emperor."
"No we don't! He died shortly after you beat Piccolo Diamoh and now the world is run by blood-thirsty corporate giants! All the large companies joined forces to prevent anyone from offically taking the throne," Pilaf said miserably, wiping his nose on the sleeve of his robe.
"..." Goku stared at him, not sure what to say.
"Please?" Pilaf begged.
"I don't know," Goku said. "I wouldn't let Vegeta wish to be immortal..."
"But I don't want immortal life! I just want to be Emperor while I'm alive!" Pilaf argued.
"What would you do if you were Emperor?" Goku asked curiously.
"I'm going to build a palace," Pilaf stated firmly. "With fountains and archways and big stone gates. And every year on my birthday I'll have a parade."
"What if people asked you to solve their problems?" Goku asked.
"What sort of problems?" Pilaf asked, intrigued.
"Well," Goku looked upwards, squinting. "Bulma gets her company to rebuild homes for people who's homes get wrecked... if you're the Emperor I think you're supposed to oversee that kind of thing. You know, make sure everyone has a house, and something to eat."
"Hmm, humanitarian work. Interesting idea, although that would no doubt involve an extensive funding system," Pilaf mused.
"Oh, Bulma has lots of that."
"From Capsule Corp?!" Pilaf stared at him aghast.
"Yeah," Goku nodded.
"I asked her for help gathering the dragonballs and she laughed in my face!" Pilaf fumed. "Then she kicked me! She actually kicked me!"
"That's strange... I would have expected her to shoot at you," Goku rested his chin on his fist, his elbow on his knee.
"Shoot..?" Pilaf's eyes widened in horror.
"It's not personal!" Goku smiled.
"That's not the point," Pilaf huffed. His face fell and he looked back at Goku. "I never thought I would do this... begging my greatest enemy for help. Please?! I beg you!"
"I don't know. It might upset a lot of people," Goku scratched his head.
"Please!" Pilaf wailed again, falling onto his knees and clasping his hands together in front of him. "Please, Son Goku, just let me make this one wish!"
"...ah," Goku sighed. "How about this, I'll let you wish to be Emperor of the World for two weeks."
"...That's it? Just two weeks?" Pilaf stared at him. "What am I supposed to do afterwards?"
"Well what have you been doing all this time?" Goku asked.
"Trying to get the dragonballs," Pilaf said, his voice catching.
"I know! You can be Emperor of the World for four months! And if I haven't had to stop you by then, you can wish it permanently!" Goku looked at Pilaf to see his reaction.
"What am I supposed to do for the other eight months if you decide I can make it permanent?" Pilaf whined.
"Huh?" Goku stared at him.
"It takes a year for the dragonballs to recharge," Pilaf scowled.
"Not if you only use one wish," Goku pointed out.
"There is only one wish!" Pilaf yelled.
"No there's not, there's three, and if you only use one, it only takes four months for the dragonballs to recharge," Goku informed the short humanoid.
"...Three? Four months?" Pilaf stared at him in shock. "So that's why the recharge time kept changing!"
"Probably," Goku agreed.
"You... you'd really let me fulfil my dream?" Pilaf's eyes watered.
"Believe me, I'll cut it much shorter then four months if you start doing bad things," Goku warned him.
"Oh thank you!" Pilaf wailed, lunging forward and hugging the Saiyajin. Goku looked down at the crying man and carefully prised the little Emperor-to-be off him. Pilaf began dancing around, singing something or other.
"What's all the noise?" Chichi demanded, showing up in the doorway.
"Oh, Chichi, this is Pilaf," Goku said, pointing to the figure spinning and gurgling estatically.
"...One of your friends?" Chichi raised an eyebrow.
"Kind of. I met him ages ago, but I haven't seen him in years," Goku said.
"Good," Chichi replied, turning to go back inside. "Please don't invite him in, Goku-sa."
"Okay, Chichi," Goku nodded.
"...and it's better then ruling it myself, because I still have free time!" Bulma gushed enthusiastically over the dinner table. It was just a quiet evening with friends - Vegeta and Bra hadn't bothered to come in, Trunks was working late, and Marron was off somewhere with a young man.
"Hmm, I'd never have thought it would work," Kuririn commented.
"Well, I'm glad Vegeta didn't actually kill Goku when I told him to," Bulma smiled. "I didn't realise it at first, but there is just nothing better then an Emperor you can bully."
"And he's popular with the people," Juuhachigou put in.
"No doubt thanks to your marvelous publicity campaign," Bulma commented the blond woman. The blue haired lady smirked. "I would ask how you landed a job as his," Bulma snickered, "advisor, but I think I all ready know."
Juuhachigou flipped her hair. "I do what I can," She said modestly. "I've all ready bullied Videl into becoming head of his security force - and merging the police with them. Gohan is in charge of world-wide education, and doing marvellously. I got Juuanagou a job doing some sort of environmentallist stuff... I just need someone else to run finance and I'll have a lot more free time. I'm grooming Marron to take over my position, one day."
"Hmm... I suppose I am planning to retire from Capsule Corp soon," Bulma mused. "Bra doesn't quite have enough experience yet for me to recommend her."
"Just think, all the other big corporations on the planet, and you'll be the one who calls shots for the world's economy," Juuhachigou smirked. "It would be even better then having Trunks loom over Pilaf with Capsule Corp's proposals."
Bulma laughed. "So this is what dictatorship feels like," She giggled.
"Have you seen the new Palace?" Kuririn changed the subject.
"Bra says it's lovely," Bulma said, picking up a glass. "Has some nice fountains or something."
"It does, and it's keeping Pilaf so happy," Juuhachigou smirked.
"A toast," Bulma said, holding up her glass, "to our darling planet, and it's oh-so-enthusiastic and naive ruler... and of course, to dear old Son-kun for conquering it for us. Without realising it."
"I think I should be explaining what's going on to Goku," Kuririn fumed quietly as his wife and Bulma clinked their drinks together and wandered off to discuss the world's future.
- Finis -
Well? Like it? Didn't like it? Tell me why! ^_^ I'm confused about how many wishes Dende's dragonballs grant. The only place I found it (and I trust that place about 95%) said they have three wishes, and four months to recharge for each wish used. Anyone know anything different? If you do, tell me where you found it out, too. Thanks!