WARNING THIS FIC CONTAINS SLASH! (M/M content. Gay stuff for those who are _completely_ lost!) Mmmyep, so if you no like-y.. no read-y!

Disclaimer: I don't own Zim or Gaz or Dib or Jhonen.. even though I really, really wish I owned Jhonen.. he's SO sexy! *cough* Anyways I don't own any of the bands or singers I add in here either! Or crazy taxi hehee.

A/N: My first IZ fic. So please bear with me! Oh and the dates are just an approx. of when they might be in High school so once again.. be nice.. don't flame.. on with the fic. Plus everyone is probably way OOC. This is written with diary entries and Third person sometimes.

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Jan. 13th 2005 - Morning-

I really can't be bothered going to school. Gaz is screaming at me to get downstairs. Well, Now I'm downstairs. Zim's here. The Irkens were attacked and their whole planet was blown up. So basically his fight for world domination is over. Stuffs changed. We're best friends, weird huh? Yup, never saw that one coming but if the straightjacket fits.. Gotta go, bus. As usual



Well even though I'm here its like home. Gaz, Zim and I sit at the same table, but Gaz's boyfriend is here. Yes I said boyfriend, she is voluntarily touching someone. I'm not sure if I should slap her or congratulate her on finding someone who will put up with her obsessive game playing and pizza eating. Which reminds me, my lunch, well some gray gelatinous blob, is getting. warm? DAMN THAT'S NASTY! IT MOVED! WHAT THE HELL! You see this is the kinda shit Zim and I think is funny, we experiment on stuff like this. Oh God.. Gaz just ran off to the bathroom to throw up again. Poor sis. I feel really bad.. not that I got her pregnant or anything, cuz that's just sick, but she's constantly waking me up at night with her throwing up. Zim and Luk (Gaz's BF) are talking about baby names.. I think Dib is a cute name but Zim says it would only work on a dork like me. That's not nice, stupid bastard. Fuck! There's the bell.. As Usual


Back at home.. Gaz is calling for pizza again. That can't be healthy for a 6 month pregnant woman, but she tells me she can eat what she wants 'so says dad'. She sitting on the couch next to me now, with her head on my shoulder. She's nicer now, a lot nicer, since she has another person inside of her. Holy fuck.. Zim's staring at me. Did I fail to mention our experiments from a few years ago, after the crash of the Irken Empire? Well we were messing around in the lab with hormones and when we went up stairs for a break one of our three hormone experiments exploded sending little drops of permanent teenage hormones everywhere. Old things got newer, new things got older, and the dog got really bitchy and hard to deal with. But that's not the point. The point is Zim's can of poop was right next to the tubes containing the mixture. And when we went back downstairs and cleaned up he found it. "Hey my soda survived" he said and before I could stop him he chugged the whole thing! Have you any idea how much hormone got into that? Well let me give you a little overview of the new Zim.. He's 5"9 a good size for a 11th grader, his voice WAS squeaky but we fixed that, he has occasional, small out breaks of acne, no pizza grease involved! And worst of all, he's into night clubs and 'experimenting' with other things than science. Get the picture?... He's GAY DAMMIT! Are you thick in the head?! Wait, maybe you did catch my drift? Anyways, yeah. Thank fuck! He's watchin' TV. Oh pizzas here, be right back.

When I got home-

Gaz was asleep for a while so Zim and I ate. He was trying to get me to go to this new night club with him. Apparently EVERYONE says its cool, I was like "Everyone?! We only hang out with us!" "Don't think I don't eavesdrop on people at school!" he replied before pulling this puppy face thingy he does. "Please? You filthy meat creature! What the fuck do I need to do?!" I got up and tried to wake up Gaz. Finally she sat up and made a grunting noise "Pizzas on the table" I said "I'm going out with Zim so I can't carry you to bed tonight. Be careful on the stairs!" I gave her a kiss on the cheek as Zim's got up and danced around the kitchen "Ha Ha! You won't be sorry!" Oh, did I also forget to add his adolescent outbursts of complete happiness. So, I went up stairs, brushed my hair (that hangs down now, actually I look kinda wild like that guy from that one comic.. what's it called, oh yeah Johnny the Homicidal Maniac! The guy that draws it sounds really familiar for some reason. Oh, off topic) changed my shirt and got my wallet and trench coat. Though, as soon as I got downstairs Zim took it off me and said I look dead in it and need to get out more! Typical.
So I called a taxi. We got in and went. The whole way there Zim was holding my arm and shaking it furiously. "Hooray! I finally talked you into going!" he said with a raised voice. I sighed, stupid experiments. When we got there I paid the cab driver and took a look at the place. It was called '665'. Zim dragged me inside. I couldn't help but notice all the posters "Naughty Nite at Club 665". Uh-oh. First thing Zim did was drag me onto the dance floor. But I doubled back and hit the bar. It was going to take a lot of underage drinking to black this out, or at least get drunk enough to dance. I sat there for a while. Watching Zim and the other people dance wildly, I would even call it dancing, it looked like one huge orgy. /This is defiantly a rip off of the music video to Hot in Here/ I was thinking to myself until the most beautiful thing I've ever seen walked up to me. "Buy me a drink?" she cooed, what could I say but yes? Then Zim appeared outta no where and sat in her seat and started talking really loudly. I coulda killed him. "WHY AREN'T YOU DANCING?!" he yelled at me "Zim I'm right here. No need to yell!" "Oh" He looked over at the bouncing crowd of people "You really enjoyed yourself huh?" I teased him as I finished my 7th alcoholic beverage in 8 minutes. "Yes! Join me! This is a great song to dance to!" He tugged on my shirt. Nine Inch Nails 'Closer' started blaring over the speakers. I swallowed hard. This was going to be interesting. And so he pulled me out into the middle of the floor and began dancing with everyone around him. "Oh come on!" He yelled over the music, grabbed some random girl and pushed her over me. Who instantly started grinding herself back into me.

Eventually, I got into it and danced with everyone, not depending on what they looked like or their gender. Everyone was hot. It was weird. I don't think I've ever felt like that in my whole life. You love everyone and everyone loves you. Girls and guys crowded around me like I was famous. Zim and I danced at one time, and then the girl that wanted a drink snuck in-between us. Zim looked angry, he was too into this. He more that anyone pushed himself into me. Creepy. I'm confused though, at the time I didn't think it was. Maybe I had enjoyed it? It was pretty fun. Hmm.. anyways.. when the song was over I went back to the bar and had another drink. I bought Zim one but he looked disgusted when he tried it. It was hilarious, or maybe I just had too much to drink but I laughed hysterically at it. He just smiled and pulled me back onto the floor. This time that Sarai's 'Ladies' which was really kinda awkward to dance to. We danced to that, then ICP's 'Spin the bottle', then 'What's your fantasy' by Ludacris. And of course a whole heap of others that I couldn't name for the life of me after that. We had another drink.. well I did and then we left. I was mush, I don't even know how I'm writing this right now. Oh yeah coffee. Anyways, in the cab, Zim sat real close to me and put his head on my shoulder. I, of course in my drunken state of mind, put my arm around him and my head on his.

We burst through the door. He was all over me. Kissing every inch of my neck and face. I threw my keys and wallet on, well more like at, the counter knocking some things off. He stopped and ran upstairs. I put the coffee machine on and went to find him. Of course he had left my door open to give me a hint. I open the door and was instantly crushed by the passionate kiss he was forcing on me as he pushed me onto my bed and kicked the door shut. Not separating our lips he started to pull my shirt off. I stopped him though. He gave me a look of depressing disappointment. "Look, I'm sorry, but Gaz is in the other room. And she's pregnant.. needs her sleep ya know." I blinked at my clear headedness. I asked Zim if he wanted some coffee. He muttered something about it being vile and said goodbye as he left my room. I heard the door downstairs slam as I lay there, in heaven or hell? I don't know. I went downstairs and got some coffee, watched a bit of TV, and then started writing. I think I hear Gaz coming.
She was sick again, and now she sleeping next to me. She's been doing this, sleeping next to me after she's sick, like I'm a comfort or something. I'm never been able to get this close to her before five months ago. Imagine if she had come in and Zim and I were going at it. Agh. Lets not. I feel sick. I need sleep or something. As usual


January 14th, 2005 Morning-

Thank fuck its Saturday! GOD! I have the worst hangover. Jesus?! Did that all really happen last night? I don't even remember writing that. Well I did wake up with Gaz next to me again this morning. That's proof enough. I can't believe Zim and I did that! I need to take a shower! Yeulch! As usual


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Dib came down for breakfast. There sat Gaz and Zim, laughing rather loudly. "So apparently you two had a fun night last night?! Little too much to drink, huh Dib?" Gaz giggled. "You don't look as good as you did last night! That's for sure!" added Zim. Dib was about to say something witty but all he came out with was "Coffee" Zim laughed as he poured the taller male some coffee. Dib's head hit the counter which made Gaz burst out laughing again. Zim sat next to Dib and put his arm around him, giving him a little hug. He didn't react to this well though. He hit Zim's arm away "You took advantage of me!" Dib got up with his coffee cup and walked out the door. Yes still only in his PJ pants. "uh.. I" Gaz just stared at Zim "I.. I.." Everything was silent apart from the noises of Dib's lighter. "You.. you. what?!" Gaz spluttered out. Zim walked outside, shutting the door after himself. Dib stood there, cigarette in his mouth. "You don't smoke!" Zim leant against the wall still wide eyed from Dib's last statement. "I just felt like one for some reason." Dib then sat down on the curb. "Look I'm sorry it was just that. Well. You really had me last night. Out there dancing. I couldn't help myself. You were the object of my desire. And I could have had what I wanted until you remembered your sister!" Zim apologized while talking really, really fast. "Good thing too! One. I don't like where that could have gone. I'm your best friend for fucks sake. Two. She came in and slept next to me again last night!" He rolled his head forward as tossed the cigarette aside. "Well can I make it up to you?" Dib mentally rolled his eyes as Zim came and sat next to him. "Fuck no! Don't you get it?! I'm royally pissed off at you! Just get keep away from me and Gaz! I don't ever want to see you again!" Dib went inside leaving the door open though. Zim stood on the side walk. /I get what I want./ was repeating itself over and over in Zim's mind /I am ZIM!/ ((A/N: so a little of him IS still left?!))

January 15th 2005 Morning-
Sorry I didn't write again yesterday. I hate Zim. I never want to see the mother fucker ever again! How dare he use me! Fucking bastard! 'Can I make it up to you?' how about NO! How stupid could I have been! I know he's like THAT. How could I've been so blind?! Agh! Later As usual Dib

I'm worried about Gaz. She coughing and sneezing and stuff. I hope she isn't sick! All she wants to do is snuggle up with me. Luk hasn't been over yet. Weird. I saw Zim watching us from across the road. I went outside and screamed at him that if he was going to watches much longer I was going to blow his brains out. I really do have a gun. It's in my underwear draw. How clich├ęd right? Yeah.. I guess. I only have it for protection though. I would never really hurt anyone. Just threatening. Scare them away. But if it came to me having to kill someone I would. Damn I could call this: Confessions of Dib. It'd be a best-seller! Fuck!

'Fuck' Dib wrote as he heard a scream from downstairs. /Gaz/ he thought jumping out of his seat. He stood motionless, silent at the top of the stairs. At the bottom lay Gaz. She'd fallen. He quickly snapped out of the trance and bolted down the steps to the phone.

Zim: Hello.. 34 No-one-loves-me street Dib: I need an ambulance! It's my sister! She's fallen down the stairs! Dib started to cry and frantically scream things at the Zim Zim: Dib. Dib! DIB! CALM DOWN! You called me not 911. I'll be right there hold on! Dib screamed at Zim about how he'd better be and dropped the phone, running over to Gaz. "Gaz? Gaz?! Are you okay?! Please say your okay!" He held her in his arms. His tears splattered her face "It'll be okay! I promise!" He sat there nursing her for about 5 minutes until Zim got there. "Dib?! Gaz?!" He shouted bursting through the door. Dib's mind flashed back to last night. The kissing. The touching. He shook his head. "Zim! Over here! Quickly!" Zim came over and dropped to his knees next to them. He checked for a pulse. Good. Breathing. Good. Excellent. This was going to be easier now. "She's still alive!" "Oh thank god some one came to tell me!" Dib shouted sarcastically. "Help me pick her up! We need to get her to the hospital!" They picked Gaz up and brought her outside. "Car!" Said Dib putting her legs down, opening the back door and helping Zim put her in. "You get in the back! I'll drive" Zim said forcefully. "Zim?! You can't drive!" "So?! This is an emergency! You can do anything when there's an emergency! I saw it on daytime TV!" Dib sighed and got in the back, cradling his unconscious sisters head. Zim was driving like a player off Crazy Taxi. But they got to the hospital, though missing a side mirror and with a few minor dents.

The two boys carried Gaz inside. Dib ran up to the receptionist. "JESUS! YOU GOTTA HELP MY SISTER! SHE FELL DOWN THE STAIRS AND SHE PREGNANT! PLEASE! YOU GOTTA HELP HER! SHE UNCONSCIOUS! ARE YOU LISTENING?!" He screamed at the poor lady. The girl behind the counter slipped her head phones off "what was that 'hun?" "AHH!" Dib picked up Gaz and took her over to the receptionist "You see her bitch? Hmm? She's unconscious and pregnant.. EVEN I KNOW THAT'S NOT GOOD! GET A DOCTOR!" The girl stared at him blankly. "One sec." she turned to an intercom and pressed the red button. "PAGING DR. ROTT. PAGING DR. ROTT. WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY IN THE LOBBY." Came thundering over the paging system. "Better 'hun?" Dib nodded and thanked her. She waved them away as 'Dr. Rott' came running over to them. "Oh my god.. I NEED A STRETCHER ASAP! Hi, I'm Dr. Theo Rott. I'll look after your wife. Please talk to Margaret about the paper work." Zim chuckled. "She's not my wife.. she's my sister.." Dib said angrily. "Oh, sorry. I could have sworn.." started the doctor "Never mind, she needs critical medical attention. I've seen this quite a few times. Women throwing themselves down stair cases. Jonathan! Over hear! Stretcher!" Rage filled Dib's eyes "HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT.." but his loud ranting was muffled by Zim's gloved hand over his mouth. "Dib! This is a hospital!" he whispered "Think of the rusty old people and the snot covered brats! What about Gaz too? Quiet is good in these places silly." ((A/N: Hahahahahaha Zim said.. SILLY! Hahahahahahaha!)) Dib sighed at Zim's obviously fading vocabulary skills. "Alright. Fine. Jesus. Go sit, I'll get the paperwork and be over in a second." "You know what they say 'fine' means? Fragile, insecure, neurotic, and emotional!" The green teen called back as her hunted for two free seats.

Dib collected the papers and joined Zim in their corner seating nook. "So." Dib tried to make conversation. "I'm sorry about Gaz. I really hope this wasn't on purpose.. not implying anything of course!" Dib nodded in Zim's direction, totally zoned out though. "Hey you alright there? Wait! Of course you aren't! Your six month pregnant sister fell down the stairs and you might have missed a chance to be an uncle. YOU are not OK!" Dib blinked at Zim /Why bothering asking, if you were going to answer it yourself?/ "Yeah." He replied sadly. "Can I hug you?" The shorter of the two inquired. Dib thought for a while "No." he finally came out with. "Please. I'm sorry! I don't know what else I can say to make everything better!" Zim pleaded. Numerous people turned to stare at the two now. "Not here Zim, maybe we'll talk later. I want to go check on Gaz." The black clad human removed himself from the chair. "Well, I'm going to go get a soda. Are you in need of something?" Dib smiled at Zim's sudden switch in the way he spoke "Coffee." The alien shuddered "She's in room.." Dib flicked through some pages and then his eyes got really wide "Room.. 665.." The two barely exchanged glances before heading in their different directions.

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Huh.. That was weirder and probably more out of character than I think I've ever done. I tried.. but failed. Like I do at everything. I thought I could write good. Apparently I've proved myself wrong again.. I apologize to you if you managed to get through this with or without puking. Love as usual


~Ty Productions Proudly Presents~


[Name deleted] said I was his best friend. And then that he knows they're is someone out there how actually gives a shit about his existence when I'm around him. He says thanks. I said I try.