This fic is short and to the point again. It's also a Taito (maybe?) so well, don't like don't read. I really do have to much free time to be doing this again. When will I learn? Ahh, the lovely world of fiction is to hard to pass up.

A/N: Since someone asked which pairings I actually liked if any well I like any pairing with Tai. In easy words for you to comprehend I like Taiora, Taito, Taishiro (sp?), Mimichi, and whatever the hell TaixJoe, TaixTK, and the best of them all TaixKari-Ooo, gotta luv the incest fics. jk or am I? You'll never know unless you ask. So mostly the first season peeps only. =Þ~~

This is for you Cara, and Danna enjoy.

I don't own Digimon!

/Blah/ = Thinking

"Blah" = Thoughts

Why Me?


"Tai honey are you in there?" His mother frantically pounded on his bedroom door.

"Tai open the door this instant." She screamed awaking the other occupants of the household.

Kari stood outside her bedroom door rubbing her eyes trying to wake up. Her father was by Tai's door also and both looked upset. She curiously looked back and forth between the two. Mom had tears streaming down her cheeks and dads face was turning red with anger. His whole face was lit up like a light bulb. The mans face contorted into weird and upsetting positions showing how truly angered he was. /Wonder what's going on?/ She mentally asked herself not quite sure she wanted an answer. Silently she walked over to her parents trying to understand the situation.

"Tai? Tai open this door NOW!" His father yelled receiving no answer.

"If you don't answer soon we'll break the door down." He tried again, turning the door knob which was locked. He tried to turn it again and grunted.

"Damn it." He muttered and stormed off looking for the key.

Kari was getting scared for parents. /Why won't he open the door?/ She looked at her mother who fell to the ground crying. She was curled up as the tears fell across her face and dripped on her nightgown. Kari moved to her side and placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Her mother just looked up at her with her tear stained face and Kari smiled a little. Her mother was to distraught to smile back but lavished in her daughters embrace. /God Tai, what's happening to you?/ His moms mind was churning with questions she had no answers too.

"Mom?" Kari asked softly.

"Yes, dear." She sniffed and hugged her daughter.

"What's going on? Why are you trying to get into Tai's room?" She squeezed her mom.

"I...I...I...I can't right now Kari. I'm sorry. We just have to get in there though." She murmured.

"But why?" Kari was confused, what could make them go all nutty in the middle of the night like this?

"DON'T ASK RIGHT NOW KARI JUST GO TO BED WHILE WE FIGURE THIS OUT." She lashed out at her and quickly regretted it. Kari took a few steps back at her mothers voice as the water began to fall from her eyes.

"I'm sorry Kari, I didn't mean to. Please just go back to bed." She picked Kari up and took her back to her room. Placing her in the bed she tucked her in and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She swiftly left the room without looking back and slammed her door shut.

Kari sat up and wiped the tears from her face. She was so confused. They never acted like this before never. /Tai why are you doing this to them, just open the door./ Kari wept some more and continued to listen to the commotion outside her door. She wrapped herself in her comforter and promptly listened for any noise.

"Got it." Her father said running back to Tai's door.

"Good now open the door." Her mother was trying to take the key from him but he wouldn't let her. He pulled her off his arm and shoved the small key into the door turning it until he heard a click. Slowly they opened the door and peeked in...

Tai was alone in his room in the dark. All the blinds where closed so not even the moonlight could seep through. Dark bags where under his eyes as he bawled. Tears fell from his red eyes like a waterfall that would never end. They never stopped. He's been crying nonstop since last week. Tai had a huge headache from all the pressure.





His mind kept telling him, what was left of it. It was in ruins. He felt his whole world was disappearing, Tai heard his parents scream outside his door but he didn't care. They were meaningless to him at the moment and so was everything else. Nothing was worth it anymore. Life was not worth living without him. /Why Matt? Why? How could you do this to me?/ He punched the wall. Tai started kicking, punching, and throwing everything in sight. When he finally finished his assault the room looked like a dump. Drawers were thrown all over the place making his cloths scatter the place with various colors. His bed was in pieces as well as many pictures and sentimental objects. Blood from his cuts covered the walls.

Tai stood there heaving, trying to catch his breath. His hands shook as well as his whole body from his outburst of anger and sorrow. "Why Matt?" He asked softly while rubbing his arms to get warm. /So cold and alone./ He looked at his room and grinned for the first time in weeks. Seeing a shinny object he naturally went over to it and picked it up. In his hands was a picture of his love and pain. He stared at the picture of Matt tracing his fingers across the beautiful boys features and then ripped the photo into several portions. He gathered the shards and walked to his window and opened it. Ducking his head out the window he shrieked.

"I HOPE YOUR HAPPY NOW MATT, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT." Tai moved his hands out the window and let the wind blow his suffering away. Without thinking he jumped up to the sill and sat down staring at the ground below him. Closing his eyes he remember how his life went to hell.

Matt and he were walking and talking in the park as usual. Tai was grinning ear to ear and was so excited that today he was going to tell him. He was scared of Matt's reaction but he couldn't keep it in any longer. He loved the boy with his whole heart and soul and it was killing him inside. Tai finally gathered enough courage to tell him and knew he would today, if it was the last thing he ever did. So into his thoughts he didn't notice Matt waving a hand in front of his face. Blushing, Tai looked into his shimmering blue eyes. He was instantly memorized again my there sparkle.

"Tai what the hell's wrong with you lately? You keep zoning out." Matt eyed his friend.

"Um, what?" Tai blinked a few times at the question.

Matt just laughed and walked over to a bench and sat down.

"So why did you want to talk to me, Tai?" Matt shuffled his shoes on the ground.

"Well, I have to tell you something Matt." Matt looked at him and Tai looked at a nice piece of gum stuck to the pavement.

"Yeah." He motioned for him to finish.

"I...I..." The brown eyed boy started but didn't know if he could tell him now that he was this close to the handsome figure before him. Tai sighed and looked into Matt's eyes.

"Tai I'm really busy if your not going to tell me, I'm going to go." Matt started to get up but Tai grabbed him and pulled him back down.

Tai had to tell him so he just blurt it out as fast as he could. "pleasedon'thatemeMattbutIloveyouIhavetforalongtimeIjusthadtotellyou." with that Tai kissed him on the lips softly.

"WHAT?" Matt's pushed him away, eyes slanting and his hands forming fists. Tai just looked at the ground as Matt's fist hit his face.

"Ma...Matt?" Tai glanced his way as he rubbed his cheek which was already starting to bruise. He could see the anger in Matt's eyes. Tai was instantly heart-broken at his loves reaction./Oh no./

"Tai how could you kiss me? That is so disgusting. Stay away from me from now on you fucking freak." He said spitting and wiping his lips off.

"I'm sorry Matt, please don't hate me. I...I Love you." Tai started shaking from the hurt.


"MATTTTTTTTTTTTT." Tai screamed after him and fell to his knees crying his heart out.

People around the park just stared at him, laughing. Tai was so upset at Matt's reaction. He never expected him to act that way. Mad yes, but never that bad. He didn't want to stop being friends if he didn't feel the same way at least then he would still be near the boy. /Why me?/ He sobbed into his hands. /Why me?/

Tai stayed on the ground for a couple of hours until he decided to pick his lonely ass up and walk home. Once he reached his home he quickly went into his room not wanting to talk with anyone. He promptly feel on his bed and curled up crying again, and finally tiring himself out he fell asleep.

The next day he tried to call Matt but he wasn't there or he wouldn't answer. Tai's stomach ached as well as his heart and mind. /Maybe he just needs to cool off? That's it, he's just mad still. By Monday he'll be my friend again./ With a new sense of hope in the air he trotted back to his room and stared at the blond boys portrait. /So beautiful./

But of course Monday was nothing like he expected. He walked to school as usual looking every which way for his love but he was no where to be found. Sighing he continued on and made his way to the school grounds. Once he reached the gates he sensed everyone was staring at him but quickly diminished that thought.

Walking to his first class, he got that feeling again and heard lots of snickers and laughs as he went on. Shaking his head he sped up his walking and quickly found his seat and sat down. As the class started he couldn't get that feeling to go away. He was starting to freak out and wished the day to end.

At break time a group of kids cornered his desk not letting him leave. Tai was confused and tried to push them aside but there where to many of them. He looked at each of them curiously when all of a sudden someone spat on him. Tai was shocked to say the least. /What are they doing?/ Tai thought while wiping the spit off him with his shirt sleeve.

"Why the hell did you do that? Let me go." Tai screamed at them.

"Don't yell at us little gay boy." One of the boys there laughed.

"What? Get away from me." Tai pushed and shoved.

"Or you'll do what?" They all laughed then. Tai's eyes started to fill with tears. He didn't want to cry in front of them but he couldn't help himself.

"Awe, look he's crying how cute." They snickered

"Leave me alone." Tai whispered


"Why not, I haven't done anything to you just let me be."

"Can't because we don't like your kind around here." With that the group started to punch Tai in the stomach one by one. When they were done he got spat on again while the rest of the people in the room laughed at him.

Tai grabbed his stomach and ran out of the room not caring where he went. He had to leave. All the punches finally taking there toll, he fell to the ground coughing up blood. The crimson liquid splattered all across the hallway floor. He hurt emotionally and psychically. After a few minutes of heaving and coughing he gathered himself up from the floor and ran out of the school. He ran all the way home not stopping once. /Laughing, there all laughing at me./ Tai fell to the ground and cried some more.

The rest of the week pretty much went the same. After the first day the whole school knew he was gay. He was cut from the soccer team, none of his friends would talk to him, not even the digi-destined would talk to him. Tai was so scared for himself as he saw the looks everyone was giving him. The teachers never called on him or took his homework. They even moved his desk away from the others. At lunch he didn't dare go in the cafeteria for fear of getting beat up. No one went near him and once they spotted him coming they all headed in different directions. Slowly but surely Tai was having a breakdown. All the emotionally pain he was suffering each day was hitting him like a ton of bricks. Tai was now a shell of what he once was. He never spoke to anyone after that day. He never ate his stomach wouldn't let him. All he did now was cry himself to sleep, which was the only way he could fall asleep. At home he never shed from his room and covered the window up not letting any sunlight in. He knew his parents were upset with him but who wasn't. He also knew it was Matt who told everyone about him and made his life hell. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't bring himself to hate him. Instead he hated himself for being this way. Which brings us to now.





Tai opened his eyes and stared at the night sky. It was a wondrous night. All the stars sparkled and the moon was full. He smiled a little until he heard his door open. Not even turning around he knew who it was. He had been expecting this for some time, but there was no way they could stop him now. His mind was made up and nothing they could possible say would make things better. It was hopeless for him. Tai moved closer to the edge of the sill and stared at the ground below him. All the people looked like ants to him. /Matt/.

"Tai honey, why didn't you let us in? What's wrong?" His mother walked in the room trying not to trip over the fallen objects and broken glass. She gasped when she saw all the blood on the walls and hung onto her husbands arm for support.

"Don't come near me." Tai softly replied while getting ready.

"Tai please tell us what's wrong. We're worried about you." She took a step closer.

"I SAID STAY WHERE YOU ARE." Tai screamed his head off at them while still not looking there way.

"PLEASE TAI, TELL US WHAT'S WRONG." She tried to reason with.

"Nothing will be wrong soon. If you really want to know just go to the school and ask. I'm sure you'll hear lots of good stuff." He laughed insanely.

"Tai please come down from there your scaring us. Please Tai." His father finally spoke up.

"In a minute." He replied.

"Good then we can settle this." His parents hugged each other. They all stayed silent for about 5 minutes when Tai finally spoke up.

"Goodbye mom and dad. Tell Kari I'm sorry." He whispered and jumped from the window.

His parents stood there in horror for a second and then quickly ran the window.


What they all saw was a horrific scene. Quickly they dashed out of there apartment and ran downstairs, what they didn't notice was that Kari was following them also.

There on the ground surround by a circle of people was Tai. Blood oozed out of every pore of his broken body. His face actually looked at piece for the first time in weeks. People around the area were calling ambulances and the police but it was useless. Tai fell from a fifteen story building, there was no use for it. Tai died instantly when he hit the pavement. The pavement actually cracked some from the force when he hit it leaving a reminder for all time.

Kari ran to her brothers side and gathered him up in her arms. His blood covered her pajamas but she didn't care. She hugged him close until the ambulance came and gathered him up. Even then she was reluctant to let him go. She wailed and wailed the whole time mumbling something under her breath. Kari actually knew how her brother felt about Matt and knew he was hurting but she never expected Tai to do this to himself. Kari's parents had to pry her away from Tai so they could take him to the hospital. They each hugged the other for a long time watching the ambulance drive off, tears clouding each other eyes.

A little shrine was put up where Tai fell to his death. Flowers, cards and other comforting objects pillared across the ground. Even years after his death the shrine was kept up and visited constantly by the family. They never wanted to forget about there eldest son.

A few days after he died they found out what traumatized him into going this far. His parents where appalled by the schools actions towards there son and sued them for all they where worth. They won the lawsuit and received millions for there troubles. In doing so, the school was closed never to be reopened. With the money Tai's parents won they bought the building they lived in as well as the ones around the scene. They did this so no one in there family would ever forget how the school system and children he called friends treated there son. Also, they started a scholarship program to help minorities, the final remembrance to there lost son.

Matt and the other digi-destined came to Tai's funeral only to be cussed out by Kari. She knew Matt was the one mostly responsible for her brothers death and she never let any of them forget it. Sure life went on for them but she hated there guts and never spoke to any of them after that day. Kari stayed in charge of her parent's buildings and soon found her husband and lived there in the same building their whole lives. She told her children what the buildings symbolize and the stories have been passed down ever since. The buildings never left the Kamiya's ownerships and the shrine was always cared for.

Matt was so seriously affected by Tai's death that he goes to a psychiatrist none stop. Over the years he's learned to live his life but he could never truly get over it. Almost constantly he could swear he could see Tai staring at him with his warm, brown eyes. But, when he looked closer he was always gone. On the anniversary of Tai's death Matt went to visit the shrine and laid some flowers down in front of it. Matt fell to his knees and cried.

"I'm so sorry Tai. I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to." Matt bawled

"It's ok Matt." A sweet sounding voice sang in his ears.

Matt looked up and face vaulted. There standing in front of him was Tai. He was wearing white and had what looked like wings, a bright light surrounded the figure. Matt blinked a few times and Tai smiled at him.


"It's me." Tai smiled at his love.

"Oh god Tai, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to go that far. I was just so confused and angry."

"Shhhh, it's ok Matt." Tai moved closer to Matt and hugged him. Matt hugged back but it was like he was hugging nothing at all. He could feel the warmth coming from him and savored it whole-heartedly.

"Tai, I really am sorry for all of this." Matt sobbed into Tai's cloths.

"It's ok, I forgive you." He rubbed Matt's back. Matt moved out of Tai's hug and looked at the angel.

"How can you. I was so mean to you. I made them all hate you." Matt sniffed and whipped his eyes with his shirt.

"Matt I love you. That has never changed. I will love you for eternity no matter how you feel about me. I know you didn't mean what you did but it's all in the past. What you did was wrong but you weren't the only person responsible for me killing myself. It was my choice in the end. Please don't hurt yourself over me Matt. I know you suffer for what happened. You can help me live on by enjoying life and doing things I never had a chance to." Tai smiled sweetly at Matt and he knew what Tai was saying was genuine. Matt's heart finally felt whole again.

"I'm sorry Tai, I will I will live life for you. I owe you that much at least."

"Thank you my friend. I love you Matt never forget that. We will see each other again." Tai whispered in his ear and faded away, with a tear staining the ground where he stood.

"For you Tai I will go on." Matt smiled for the first time in awhile and began to walk off.

"Goodbye Tai, I love you, I will make it up to you and we will see each other again I promise." Matt said his final goodbye and walked away content while he left he could here the faint sounds of his friend in the wind.

"Bye Matt, Love you too."


I actually think that sucked in the beginning but in the end it was better. Personally, I got tired of all the wrist cutting suicide fics so I did a diff one due to a request.


That reminds me I should just write 3 in the mornings like I usually do, I usually get more evil in stuff at that time of hour.

1 last thing since I mentioned the Tai x Kari pairing. Personally, I don't mind them in fics but in real life that's just wrong and should never in a million years happen to anyone. nuff said.