Author's Note: More revision…

Disclaimer: I do not own PotC nor am I conspiring to own it.


RumRunner: Diary of a Pirate
James Norrington - Week 1

DAY 1

My dearest Sophia encouraged me to keep a diary, err, journal of my daily activities, so here it goes.

This morning I ate breakfast, which was quite the usual despite Marco putting extra cinnamon on my French toast and extra sugar in my coffee. I swear that man is up to something! He's quite the suck up after-all. Hmm, suck up. Reminds me of Gillette. Haven't seen the little brown-noser the past couple of days…Oh well, must've stepped out to get cupcakes or he's taking time off to get a manicure or to do some other girly, sissy things.

Governor Swann is still upset about Elizabeth choosing Will over myself. That man is foolish; I simply cannot see how Elizabeth is happy with that…that…Blacksmith!

AND he participated in piracy. That's not all well either.

I went to the fort. Gillette wasn't there. The men say they haven't seen him for several days, which isn't at all unusual, as he often tries to hit on women after which he retreats into a depressive slump after being rejected over…and over…and over…oh and they laugh too. Oh, how they laugh.

This evening I've been shanghaied into attending a ball, an event which simply covers over the boredom of my endless charade of a life. At least Sophia will be by my side.

The ball was quite nice, better than I myself had expected. It was cut short, however, because of a pirate who was rather drunk and was none other than "Captain" Jack Sparrow. He stumbled in during the third waltz of the evening and rudely cut in with my wife! I'd hate to say this, even in writing, but I think that she rather enjoyed the crude experience. Ooh, I had to turn away and hide my eyes…And weep.


DAY 2

Sophia woke quite hung over this morning. I told her not to drink that much, but "Norrie" (as is her pet name for me) was too "strung up" in the moment and "couldn't enjoy" himself. Pity.

I shan't forgive Sparrow for this rather tragic event that occurred; I even half expected Turner to show up alongside him, but NO! He was at home with Elizabeth! I never will understand why she chose him over me. NEVER!

Anyway, I went into town this morning and bought myself a new hat because, as you well know, Commodores must look their best – or at least manage to look intelligent.

Dinner was wonderful; Sophia and I went out to the docks afterwards, feeding each other little baby pears and strawberries…I swear I saw Sparrow watching us as we headed back home, but Sophia assured me it was a squirrel. I care naught of squirrels. Sparrow is everywhere I tell you! Everywhere!


DAY 3

Caught up with Jack Sparrow at the docks and told him all the juicy details of my new position and what it meant for him and any of the other scoundrels out there. He seemed quite impressed and intimidated. I feel so proud. It's good he hasn't realized Sophia as my wife; after all, I haven't exposed her to the general public. We met last year at this sunny little villa in the south of Spain and everything went well. We sailed back to Port Royal together where we planned a wedding. We then married privately in Costa Rica – wonderful wedding. Although her mother is quite dreadful, worse than Sparrow, one could say. She's my mother-in-law and as for that, well, you know how it goes.


DAY 4

Saw Elizabeth and that Turner fellow in the streets. They're still planning their wedding, albeit, loudly as I passed by. I've heard the men talk about her…and then something about fruit and a large pair of boots…But regardless – how rash, Turner! Gossip is horrible so forgive me for ever mentioning it.

Sophia's mother, Doris, is worried that I still have feelings for Elizabeth. How dare she? I wouldn't have married Sophia if it was at all like that! BLASPHEMY! SACRILEGE! LIES…?

However, I do know for sure that I do not love Elizabeth. After she lead me on and then dropped me like a hot potato at the last moment…How could one love such?

Enough, I am becoming depressed. This little hot potato needs a nice Chianti…


DAY 5

My day has turned for the better!

I was walking in town today and happened across one Jack Sparrow, lying on the ground, covered in bird crap! Ah, I couldn't stop laughing! I stumbled over to him and he was muttering curses, something about "Bloody Stupid Will." How just, I imagined Turner had something to do with it. After the little fiasco at Sparrow's hanging, I shouldn't have doubted problems to follow.

I went home. Sophia was waiting for me; said something about feeling nauseous all morning. Marco was a nervous wreck because he was afraid he had made the lady ill. Poor man. I felt sorry for him and sent him away for a few days. He's been a wonderful aid to us and he deserved it…woah…where did that come from?


DAY 6

I am to be a father! Sophia has just informed me that I am to be a father! O joy!

Doris found out as well, Sophia called her over. They spent the rest of the day locked away in our room, drinking and eating and talking about plans for the child. Doris is equally pleased with me. For once in my life I thought she'd be pleased with me, not the fact that I've produced an heir for their family's fortune. At least I know that Sophia is happy and that she really loves me. That makes the world so much better.

Doris finally left around, oh, 10:30pm. She said she'd be back tomorrow with old clothes that belonged to her son Robert and to Sophia, since she has yet to know what the child will be. Oh, I hope my son…Or daughter…develops the same distaste for Doris…that evil woman.


DAY 7

Sophia continues to get sick in the morning. I feel sorry for her. All hormones and mood swings, which have actually gotten worse since this began. She'll be so sweet and cuddly and then she'll turn on you, with fangs and claws.

Doris returned, as promised, and locked herself and Sophia away again for several hours. Then, around 9:00pm, they appeared at the top of the stairs and came down, teary-eyed and hysterical with laughter, singing something about flowers and August. Drunk, I presumed, but no – turns out they had no wine. Sophia was just in an extremely good mood. She came over to me and lifted my arms, begging me to dance with her and the child. I can't take much more of this. Someone relieve the insanity!

The world is mad now. Sparrow has a woman and my wife is beside me mumbling about flowers and August. Perfect.


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