Mr. Machacha Goes to the Fudge Factory

By Shuichi

Disclaimer: Don't own Yami no Matsuei, Love Hina, Utena, Kare Kano, Excel Saga or any other anime, or Twister.

*Dedicated to (Someone Special)*

Author Notes:


Baka- Idiot

Hentai- Pervert

"Oh no! I'm out of fudge!" screamed Dr. Muraki into his fridge. There was a pizza and some body parts packaged in plastic bags, but no fudge. "I guess I'll just have to go get some," he said as he picked up his cell phone and started to dial.

Tsuzuki was enjoying a nice piece of fudge when Hisoka yelled, "Tsuzuki!"

"No Hisoka, you can't have any of my fudge."

"You baka. I don't want any of that. I'm like…so not like that Tsuzuki," he stammered as he watched him lick some fudge from his fingers. Hisoka started to blush big time.

Tsuzuki noticed how red Hisoka was getting and was dumbfounded. "What is it Hisoka?"

"Nothing," he stated and threw a cell phone at Tsuzuki's head.

"Ah! That hurt. Why do you have to be so mean Hisoka?"

"Baka, this phone of yours has been ringing for fifteen minutes straight. I didn't bother answering it because I can guarantee that it's for you," he said as he walked away.

"You sure…" Tsuzuki said to himself as he looked at the caller ID. It said SumDr4U. He decided to answer it. "Hello?"

"Hello Mr. Tsuzuki, it has been a while."

"Muraki! No it hasn't, we just saw you last night when we destroyed you pigeon minion because they were eating little kids."

"Not that Mr. Tsuzuki, it seems I'm out of fudge."

"I'm enjoying some fudge right now."

"What! How could you! Come over and give me some now," ordered Muraki.

"No way. I'm tired of being your fudge supply. Besides, I just finished."

Muraki was not happy and was in dire need of some rich fudge. "Then I'll have to go buy some fudge. It's a shame because you could have just given me some instead. So, Mr. Tsuzuki, let us go to the Fudge Factory. We shall meet at our love spot."

"Why do I have to go?" whined Tsuzuki.

"How impertinent. Because if you don't, your precious boy will be a meal for my pigeon minion."

"But we destroyed them you liar!"

"Oh no, I have a new and improved pigeon minion. If you still won't do as I say I'll give the boy a lesson."

"Ok Ok."

"Good. But before we do, tell me what you are wearing."

"Hmm…I'm wearing my work outfit," he replied.

"Nice, then slowly unbutton your shirt, lick your fingers, and then touch your nipples." Muraki whispered in a sadistic voice.

"Hentai!" accused Tsuzuki and ended the call.

Muraki waited patiently at the church for Tsuzuki. "Ah, the one I love has come to me," he stated as he saw Tsuzuki's figure.

"Shut up Muraki. Let's just go."

"Of course," he said as he walked up to Tsuzuki and they both left for the Fudge Factory. But what they didn't realize was that someone was following them. As they walked the tiny dog Pero Pero (From Anime Kare Kano) came out in front of them and demanded to be petted.

"Oh how cute," Tsuzuki said and was about to bend down and pet the cute thing. Unfortunately, Muraki stepped on his small body and blood squirted out everywhere.

"Just what the hell are you doing?" he shouted.

"I will not allow this impertinent dog to persuade us off our course to the Fudge Factory. Moreover, you will bend down only for me my Mr. Tsuzuki." Now it was Tsuzuki's turn to blush.

They continued their journey a little further and were interrupted again. This time by the Puu Chuu nation (From Anime Excel Saga).

"Oh how adorable," said Tsuzuki as he picked a few up and hugged them to his chest.

"You're too easily deceived," Muraki said.

"Just what are you…ah! They're biting me!" He hit one of them pretty hard with his fist and it turned all ugly. "Eww."

Muraki was about to summon his new and improved pigeon minion but Tsuzuki already had Suzaku burn all their cute bodies. They started toward the factory again and hoped no one would disturb them.

"Fudge fudge fudge," chanted Tsuzuki. He was so tired of walking and it had already been three hours.

"How far is this factory Muraki? Hisoka is going to beat me if I don't get back home soon"

"Oh…about another five miles or so."


"Are you tired? We could take a break and get a room. I could educate you about my…"

"No! Um no I'm not tired. Hahaha," laughed Tsuzuki.

"Good boy…wait," he commanded as he placed his arm out in front of Tsuzuki's body. "Do you hear it?"

"Hear what Muraki?"

"If…" Muraki began but was cute off as a huge red car zoomed out in front of them and hit him. His body went flying and blood splattered everywhere.

"What the hell," yelled Tsuzuki.

"Oh, I hit your boyfriend," said the man driving the car. That man was Akio, the biggest pimp in anime (From Anime Utena).

"He's not my boyfriend. We're just going to have some fudge."

"Fine. Then your fudge packer."

"What? What's that?"

"So naïve you are. I can give you all the fudge you need."

"Really?" asked Tsuzuki.

"Oh yes."

"Yay! No more walking." shouted Tsuzuki happily. He was so happy that he turned into his cute puppy self.

"Get in and we'll go have some creamy fudge my puppy friend."

Tsuzuki jumped into the car and Akio petted his ears. They then sped off leaving poor Muraki behind.

Dr. Muraki got up off the ground and dusted himself off when the car was gone. He had to get fudge and so he continued walking by himself. He didn't get very far because he noticed an extremely slutty street walker. He simply despised those and decided to kill her. He walked up to her and said hello.

"Hello," the girl said. "My name is Naru Narusegawa." (From Anime Love Hina)

Tsuzuki and Akio had been driving for hours now and Tsuzuki was becoming paranoid. It was now dark and the road they were on was really creepy. And Akio's clothes had magically changed into his white prince suit.

"Akio, where are we going?" Puppy Tsuzuki asked.

"The end of the world."

"Where is that?"

"Be patient. I shall reveal the end of the world to you in a minute." Akio snapped.

"That sounds scary! I just want some fudge."

"Child, you can give me some road head if you're so impatient," he said as he grabbed Tsuzuki by his hair and lowered his face to his bulging crotch.

"Hentai!" he shouted and hit Akio hard with his tail.

"Ow," he said and let go of him. "If you want your fudge we must go to the end of the world. There we shall passionately produce some creamy fudge," he declared drooling as his shirt unbuttoned and exposed his chest.

"No no! I don't want to go!"

"Don't worry, we're not going," said a voice from the back seat.

"Hisoka! I'm saved!" shouted Puppy Tsuzuki.

"Another fudge lover," commented Akio.

"No. I don't like fudge."

"I reveal the end of the world to you now as well." and Akio flipped onto the front of his car.

"I don't think so," said Hisoka as he climbed out behind Akio and kicked his daddy long legs self off of the car.

"Thank you Hisoka."

"Baka! Are you just naturally attracted to such perverts?"

"Sorry," said Puppy Tsuzuki with his sad puppy eyes.

By now Muraki was done with Naru and was recovered from his injuries. He was also almost at the factory. After another mile he finally arrived there.

"Yes, now for some fudge." Muraki walked towards the building. He wasn't alone though because Hisoka and the now human Tsuzuki pulled up in Akio's red car.

"That impertinent car! And that boy too!" Muraki complained. "Why are you here boy? You're just in the way as always."

"Why you…I followed Tsuzuki because he's a baka. I don't like…" started Hisoka but then he noticed all the blood that stained Muraki's white attire. So he started freaking out.

"Oh yes, I had a little business to take care of."

"Muraki, stop killing people you damn bastard," yelled Tsuzuki as they got out of the car. He was about to hit Muraki in the face but he started talking.

"Only if you will unbutton your shirt and…"


"Baka!" shouted Hisoka. And they all noisily entered the factory.

When they got inside they were greeted by a small monkey dressed in a Willy Wonka outfit (From Anime Utena).

"Chu Chu," it said and motioned for them to follow him.

"Oh how cute!" cried Tsuzuki. Hisoka and Muraki took a moment to fall over anime style. He reached down to pat Chu Chu's head but Chu Chu turned around instantly.

"Yo, wah da f**k you doin' fudgepacka," Chu Chu yelled as he waved a knife around in his


"Ah!" shrieked Tsuzuki as he brought his hands close to his chin. Dr. Muraki just rolled his eyes and Hisoka took it upon himself to actually remain silent. Chu Chu then led them to an old looking door and they all stopped in front of it.

"Chu Chu," he said and pointed towards the door.

"Whatever," said Hisoka and he kicked Chu Chu away.

"!#%*!$%&**," cried Chu Chu.

Hisoka opened the door and they entered a huge room decked out with an array of rainbows.

"Hello everybody!" greeted a voice. Everyone's attention turned to the voice that belonged to Miki (From Anime Utena).

"This is the room where we get in the mood to produce fudge," he said as he pulled out a stopwatch and pushed some buttons.

"Where is the fudge?" demanded Muraki.

"Well, it's in another room sir."

"I want fudge! So why was I brought to this room!"

"Oh well we need you to get in the mood by playing Twister," announced Miki as he lifted up the Twister mat.

"Who is 'we'?" asked Muraki.

"Come on, who wants to go first?" asked Miki ignoring him.

"Impertinent boy!"

"Oh I'll go! Come on Hisoka I bet I'll win!"

"Baka!" shouted Hisoka. "It's a trap."

"A trap?" said Miki.

Dr. Muraki was bored with the idle chatter and decided to take some action. He picked up the Twister spinner, pulled off the sharp arrow, and walked up to the smiling Miki.

"Muraki no!"

But it was too late. He stabbed Miki to death with the plastic spinner. Hisoka freaked out again at the sight of the blood and passed out. So Tsuzuki picked him up and carried him on his back.

"Come, I will lead the way now," said Muraki. They left the room and walked the empty halls of the Fudge Factory till they arrived at another door.

"Let's go," said Tsuzuki and they opened the door. Their eyes went wide as they saw what was in the room, a cow.


They both slammed the door shut and searched for another door. They searched and searched for hours. They were sick of searching on the first level and decided to go down to the factory's basement. And that is where they found the door that said 'FUDGE'.

"I believe this is it Mr. Tsuzuki."

"Finally. You have no sense of direction."

They entered into a lounge type room and went to the reception desk. Anthy Himemiya greeted them (From Anime Utena).

"We are here for fudge," said Muraki.

"Of course. My brother has been waiting for you," Anthy told them. "Just go through that door in front of you."

"Thank you," said Muraki.

Anthy's glasses started glowing. "Bye bye," she said and waved.

Muraki read the sign on the door which said 'FUDGE PACKING 69'. "Oh yes, this is it."

"Muraki, what is a fudge packer?" asked Tsuzuki.

"You mean you don't know? Well I suppose you probably wouldn't. But don't worry, you will know soon enough." He opened the door which lead to an average looking classroom.

At that moment Hisoka decided to wake up and asked, "Where are we Tsuzuki?"

"Let's take a seat Mr. Tsuzuki." They sat at the front of the room and Hisoka had no idea what was going on.

"Where are we?" he repeated.

"We are in the FUDGE PACKING 69 room," Tsuzuki said easily.


"Be quiet boy. Our instructor has arrived." And in came the teacher.

"Hello, my pupils."

"Hey! You're that hentai man," Tsuzuki said and pointed right at him.

"Want some more?" Akio asked as he played with Tsuzuki's hair.

Muraki slapped his playful fingers away. "No. You may not have Tsuzuki because I caught him and claimed him first. He is mine."

"No I'm not," protested Tsuzuki. "Stop saying perverse things like that!"

"Today you will have the chance to learn how to be real fudge packers. First, I'll need a volunteer," he said and eyed Hisoka. He grabbed Hisoka roughly by the arm and dragged him to the desk.

"But I don't like fudge!"

The red car sped down the scary road as Akio and Muraki talked about the events of the day.

"What did you think of them?" asked Muraki.

"They have…potential."

"The one I love, I knew he would be great," confessed Muraki as he stuffed Tsuzuki's fudge into his mouth.

"Is that so? I want a taste," he teased. "So, all went according to plan then?"

"Oh yes," he said with his mouthful.

"And that boy, he sure was something," said Akio as he licked Hisoka's fudge from the corner of his mouth.

"I hate that boy."

"You really should be more kind to the friends of your loved one." Before Muraki could reply a voice shouted from the back seat.

"Why am I in the back seat Akio! Who the heck does that guy think he his!" complained a left out Touga (From Anime Utena).

"Chu chu," shouted Chu Chu who was sitting next to Touga. He was wearing a red bandana and he had a knife by Touga's chest.

"And why is he here…"

"Hush Touga. You must learn some manners. Would you rather switch places with Saionji (From Anime Utena) and be in the trunk?"

"No," he said as Saionji's body was thrashed about inside the trunk.

"Perhaps I should invest in a bus," announced Akio.

"Chu chu chu," said Chu Chu as he waved his knife in the air.

"Stop it," shouted Touga.

"How impertinent this is," said Dr. Muraki.

"Don't worry, everyone gets what they desire at the end of the world," Akio said and his shirt unbuttoned again. "Hahahaha." And they continued down the scary road.

"Hisoka Hisoka!" shouted Tsuzuki.

"What is it?" Hisoka asked as he stuffed some fudge in his mouth from his right hand and then the left. "Mmmmm…I like Tsuzuki's fudge."

"How could you!" Tsuzuki crossed his arms.

"What baka!" he yelled.

"You're eating Muraki's fudge!"