Saddened

Title : Saddened

Author : Charlie Brown

Email : charlie_girl_brown

Status : WIP

Category : Sam/Jack (who else?!)

Spoilers : Various up to mid S7

Season info : Season 7, Chimera

Sequel info : None

Rating : PG

Content Warnings : Language?

Summery : Sam has a boyfiend, and now the colonel has a girlfriend.

Disclaimer : Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Archive: samandjack. My site. Anyone else who wants it, link to Note : For Trisha, thanks for the encouragement.



Part One

She was standing in the Colonel's back yard. She wasn't exactly sure how she had gotten there, but she wasn't alone. Daniel, Teal'c, Janet, the General and of course, Jack were there. There were also a few others around. People she recognized as members of the SGC. She was somehow aware that Cassie had been there earlier but had left to go to the movies with a friend a few hours ago. It was late in the afternoon, and it had been a pleasant day. She began to relax in her surroundings, dismissing her earlier disorientation - lately her mind had been wandering and she often misplaced a few minutes here and there. She had spoken to Janet about it and had been assured that it was just the stress of recent events catching up with her. She smiled to herself, happy at seeing her 'family' together. Jack caught her eye and smiled back.

She had been worried that there relationship was becoming strained, afraid that their connection would be lost. Though it was no longer quite as strong as it had been - her current boyfriend being one of the many barriers between them - it was still there. Vaguely, she realised that she still held eye contact with her commanding officer, yet she didn't look elsewhere. It was he who broke their silent exchange, refocusing his attention on the sliding door that opened to reveal a middle aged woman that Sam didn't recognize. The stranger had shoulder length, light brown hair, a kind face and a warm smile which was directed at Colonel O'Neill. The woman approached the group and was welcomed by Jack's arm winding around her waist.

"You guys remember Annie, right?" The Colonel asked, and received various nods and yes's. She seemed to be the only one who didn't know this Annie. He seemed to notice her blank look and began to explain, "Annie and I are together, I introduced her to everyone a few weeks ago at O'Malley's. You couldn't make it." He raised his eyebrows slightly during the last sentence, suggesting he was being intentionally vague.

He was right, she had turned down his invitation to the bar as she had plans to spend time with Pete. He had said that she was welcome to bring him along, but it just hadn't felt right. Obviously the colonel didn't have the same qualms about including someone new into their close-knit group. Nor, it seemed, did he have a problem showing the woman ample amounts of affection in front of them all.

Anger welled up inside her; anger that she was yet to feel that comfortable with Pete, anger that no-one had thought to mention the fact that her CO had a new girlfriend, anger that he appeared to be moving on. What she had with Pete was nice, fun and most importantly - normal. Normalcy was something she had been craving and trying to achieve. Almost all of her previous relationships had been warped by one thing or another - Jonas's mental decay, the various forms of aliens that had vied for her affection, even the Ambassador - all those relationships, or even non-relationships had ended tragically.

So why was it that the Colonel having a girlfriend irked her so much? Hadn't she come to the conclusion that her 'infatuation' for lack of a better term, with him was merely a safety net and not really a substantial accumulation of … of feelings? Yes, she cared about him, but she also cared about Daniel and Teal'c.

Looking over at the besotted couple, she decided that it was time to leave. Making her apologies, she said goodbye to everyone, only to have her chest tighten when O'Neill barely acknowledged her departure. Had it been like this for him? To see her with someone else? She was saddened by the thought of having hurt him. She was saddened even further by the knowledge that she would most likely never know the answers to those questions. They did not talk about 'feelings'. Another barrier. A few more and they would no longer be able to reach one another.

Curling up in bed, not five minutes after arriving home, she drifted into an uneasy sleep. Still bothered by images of Jack and Annie. She woke up early, no more rested then when she had first laid her head on the pillow. Getting out of bed, she made her way into the shower, letting the warm water bring her to full consciousness. Once she was ready, she locked up and made her way to the mountain, determined to be as cheerful and supportive as the Colonel had been when finding out she had a boyfriend. However, seeing him looking so cheerful and happy waiting for the elevator, made her reserve falter. Still, she squared her shoulders and held her head up high. Joining him on his way down through to Stargate Command, she said good morning. He greeted her in kind and began humming. Suddenly she felt a pit growing in her stomach. She fought back the implications of the tuneless sound coming from his closed lips, but he continued to get louder. She had to get out of there. Jealousy and anger warred within her, and regardless of the victor, she would most likely lose her composure. Finally escaping, she headed for her lab to pull herself together. She had done it before - after the zatarc incident it had been somewhat easier to deal with. Knowing, at least to some extent, that your feelings are reciprocated tends to make it less painful. Resigning herself to the fact that he had moved on was proving much more difficult.

By the end of the day she could look at him without wanting to run away and hide. By the end of the week, she could even joke around with him. And by the end of two, they were even flirting. Whilst it hurt to think that things were over between them, before they had even began, she took comfort in the friendship that was reasserting itself. They were going to be okay. Things might not have worked out as she had once hoped, they were once again connected. And that's all that mattered.