15Wildfox: Hello my beyblade fans and welcome to yet another exhilarating chapter of BB vs. the babies. (sighs) I luvs this story. Sorry for the extremely long, long, long, long (200 years later), long, long delay but . . .
Kai: Yeah a year delay is more like it.
Wildfox: (huggles Kai) Me luvs you Kai. Nee way, enjoy the chapter and please don't throw too much fire or grenades. They really sting you know. I promise to update more often from now on and I also apologize to the Ray fans since I kinda destroyed his hair and also to all the Tyson fans for being so mean to him. I really don't hate him all that much. In fact I loved him in season three. I'll be real nice to him this chappie. Bring on chappie three!
Yugi: I'm retiring. Please welcome the new disclaimer, Edward Elric.
Ed: Hem, hem. Wildfox does not own beyblade, care bears, Santa Clause, the Lord of the Rings, Spongebob Squarepants, or any other anime but she does own Kai.
Kai: -# I'm not even gonna try anymore. (writes Wildfox a restraining order)
Chapter Three: Okay . . .
Tyson continued to battle for his life against the midget, Frodo before him. He really hated the little bugger but if he hadn't been so tiny he might have been able to beat him better. Suddenly, an idea hit him like a ton of bricks (literally).
"Ow . . ." Tyson moaned, rubbing his soar head as he pushed the bricks away. "I've got it!"
Tyson gave an evil smile and ran over the ropes of the ring and through a very strategically placed metal door. There sat two white pods. He cackled as lightning crashed and thunder boomed and a cat meowed from inside an invisible trashcan. Stepping inside the pod on the left he disappeared. The lights flickered and their was a great crack and then out of the mist and from inside the second pod appeared . . .
"Dun, dun, dun, dun! I'm officially attractive and my brain has grown three sizes! I will defeat you evil midget!"
Sure enough ugly, stupid, pig, season one Tyson had transformed into sexy and pretty smart season three Tyson. The world was saved! The blue haired blader ran out to the ring and with one mighty swing of his fist he made a hobbit fly.
"Genius. Pure genius," a random scientist pronounced.
Tyson laughed tilting his head to the sky. His eyes glowed with a red flame as a red cape and spandex pink and purple clothes replaced his normal outfit. A sparkling letter "T" shone on his chest.
"I am Super Tyson! Saving little kitties from trees and poor defenceless children from the clutches of Kai and his flamethrower!"
The moment however, didn't last long since with a dramatic and rather sudden movement, Tyson fall flat on his back with "X's" for eyes and drool hanging from his mouth.
Meanwhile, Kai remained strapped to his chair the apple in his mouth starting to taste funny. His face looked like that of a clown because of all the makeup and the half of his head without hair was starting to hurt. He was just about ready to cry.
"Zapped of weapons. Zapped of weapons," he continued to say, rocking back and forth. "Going mad, going mad. Must remain sane."
The little girl closest to him jumped as his flamethrower went off again taking out some of his shirt. Many Kai fangirls gasp at his muscles but they too are soon in flames and disappear. Kai without muscles? This ain't good.
Kai looked around frantically at his surroundings. What distracted kids? Suddenly, his crimson eyes caught sight of something yellow and spongy sitting on the counter. It laughed annoyingly. He didn't care anymore that he was probably losing his marbles.
"Swonm-mom! Swonm-mom!" Kai screamed and for some odd reason the kids understood.
They swung around and faced the sea critter.
"Spongebob Squarepants!" they shouted with joy, dropping Kai's weapons and running to him.
"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea . . ." they sang.
Kai trembled with fear at the sound of the song. If there was one thing that scared him more than too much happiness it was a yellow sponge with a high-pitched laugh, his own theme song, and a pineapple for a house. A nightmare that he had once had that contained the sponge came to his mind at once causing him to scream only louder.
He was just about to achieve world domination when Spongebob came running through the streets. Suddenly, the entire town began singing his song and Kai went deaf and blind and turned into a girl. Yeah I know, he didn't really get it either but it still scared him for some reason. Kai shrieked a high-pitched shriek and bouncing up and down on his chair so that it moved he found himself in the closet.
"Yeah I know they scare me too," came a voice from beside him.
Kai looked over slowly and from what he could see of his company in the closet, it was cute and fuzzy with a rain cloud on its chest. The phoenix gave a silent scream and just like Tyson had he fell over and was knocked out, without the drool of course.
"Jebus! Help me Jebus!" Max screamed for the billionth time (or how ever many times one can scream that same sentence since the last time I updated).
The sugar hungry children climbed the playground equipment slowly like roaches, their eyes glowing red. Max savoured his final pixie stick and when it had finally dissolved, he broke into a sea of tears and tried to find more sugar.
"One, two children coming for you . . ." they continued to sing.
Max looked up and began to pray.
"Oh God, if you save me now I promise to never make up my own candy worship religion again and I won't use Kai's head to unclog my toilet anymore."
Somewhere in the distance Max heard Kai scream "What!" before falling over again. Max gave a weak laugh. Suddenly out of the total randomness of this story a light shone above the blonde and a brown-haired man dressed in robes landed beside Max.
"Santa Clause?" Max asked.
"Yes Max it is I: Santa Clause!" the man's appearance changed to that of Old Saint Nick. Max's smile turned insanely huge as Santa backed up a bit.
Waving a hand, Santa made all the children fall away from Max with bundles of candy in their hands. They screamed with joy and began to eat it. Max and Santa jumped up and down and began to sing "ring around the rosy" at the top of their lungs while they spun around. Suddenly, a Playstation Two appeared in front of them and the two began to play Super Smash Brothers Malle for some odd reason.
"Oh yeah, fat man you're going down!" Max shouted with triumph.
"Not if I can help it!" Santa said back, pounding the controller with his fingers.
Santa looked slightly evil for a moment and in a strange way resembled the devil. The two continued to play with Max as Link and Santa as Kirby until like his companions before him Max fell down with "X's" for eyes. Santa cackled and stuck his tongue out at Max.
"Mwhahahahahaha! I win!"
Kenny continued to give his boring lecture (now on elements of the periodic table) as the children (unknown to the genius of course) planned their diabolical plan to rid their brains of knowledge and destroy Kenny. The lead kid suddenly had an idea and a giant light bulb appeared above his head. He shooed it away so that Kenny wouldn't know. Lining the children up in a row he magically gave himself a conductor's uniform and waving his baton he began a song.
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and it goes something like this! I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves . . . ." they continued to sing at the top of their lungs.
Their stood the nerd with a look of pure horror on his face and just like Willy Wonka did so many times in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, he had a frightening flashback.
The Bladebreakers were on the bus to a tournament and Tyson, Max, Ray (but obviously not Kai and Alex) were singing this same song over and over again during the six hour trip. The twins could somehow drown it out but Kenny couldn't take it anymore and jumped out the window breaking every bone in his body. When the team came to visit him at the hospital they sang the song again. That song was the source of Kenny's madness.
Kenny turned a funny shade of green as his shirt ripped (ewww! Kenny chest) and he got slightly taller with sharp fangs and big feet and hands.
"Kenny smash!" he screamed in an ogre like voice.
However, unlike the others Kenny did not fall down looking dead but instead smashed through the door leaving the kids petrified yet happy that they didn't have to continue learning.
"I'm in my happy place. I'm in my happy place," Ray mumbled to himself, watching more of his lovely beautiful hair fall to the ground.
At this point in time, Ray, Ray had a Mohawk, several bobby pins, a pink streak, a pretty and frilly purple bow, and several braids in his hair. Tears stained his face as he played the world's smallest violin. The chief continued to chop off his hair and another boy was doing his makeup. Finally though, they finished and Ray opened his eyes.
"Now you're pretty!" one little girl exclaimed.
Ray gave a silent scream like Kai's but not really Kai's but kinda better than Kai's if that's even possible and he fell down like the others. The children cried out since in their minds they had just lost their new God.
"We even made a statue of him," the chief sobbed, pointing over to a statue of Ray dressed in God clothing.
Just then each and every child in the room began to throw a hissy fit, kicking and screaming while all the Bladebreakers began to change in their unconscious, semi-dead states. All we knew was that Kai wouldn't be happy when he woke up. I don't know about the others but if Kai's not happy than that ain't good.
Alex however, was sobbing with her screaming baby nearly drowning in all of her tears, which had begun to fill up the room.
Wildfox: Well that was chapter three and a very odd chapter at that. I hope I pleased everyone and hopefully I'll have another chapter for you soon. Chow for now!
Ed: Please read and review and hold off on the flames. Cheese! ;)