3Fulfilled
There is no denying the fact that Sanzo has changed. Yea he still thwacks Goku and me upside the head with that ever-present fan of his but we've seen it a lot less. Even freakier, he's smiling every now and then. And not those evil smirks that he plasters on his face from time to time but a real genuine smile; but he's still a mean bastard.
Goku seems a lot happier too, he's always smiling even when Sanzo hits him with his fan and yells himself hoarse. I'm happy that they have found each other; after all it's not fair that I get to have some fun and they don't ne?
Then there is that problem, fun. Unfortunately Hakkai thinks that I sleep with him because I want somebody to screw every night. He doesn't understand that I love him, all of him and not just his body. Well maybe if I wasn't drunk half the time and I could actually confess to him that might help things. Goku once told me that he wanted what I have with Hakkai, between him and Sanzo. Now actually it's the other way around. Although Sanzo would never tell us, he loves Goku that much is clear.
I put out the cigarette that has burned down to the filter without being inhaled and light up another. Some fresh air might do me some good; I just want to get out of this stuffy hotel room. I walk downstairs and out on the porch and sit down with a sigh.
"Why don't you just tell him?" Its Sanzo should have guessed he would be outside too.
"What are you talking about Sanzo?"
"You know damn well what I am talking about Gojyo don't play dumb with me. You've been moping for the past few days." Well there's no fooling Sanzo is there?
"I dunno what if he doesn't believe that I am serious. I love him so much but he obviously doesn't take me seriously. To him I'm just a horny, half demon, kappa looking for a good time. But why should you care about what happens to me?" No answer, figures.
"Because I... I'm learning to be honest about how I feel. Goku said it isn't good to bottle up your emotions. I really do care for you guys, just not that much." I chuckle, that's you typical Sanzo answer, bare your feelings and end them with a smart-ass comment. "Tell him Gojyo, everybody takes a risk where feelings are involved." I nod and stand, time for battle.
"Thanks Sanzo, you corrupted monk."
"Your welcome, horny water sprite."
I look over at Gojyo's empty bed and sigh, off with some village girl no doubt. It hurts every time that he's drunk, reeking of alcohol and cigarette smoke. That lust is there but not love, not the love I have for him. Afterwards, I always whisper those three words to him in my arms but he is oblivious to them, fast asleep. Not once has he ever said those words to me in return.
Suddenly the door bursts open and there is Gojyo leaning heavily on the door frame, drunk again.
"Oi, Hakkai help me to bed please, can't walk straight. I had a helluva time getting up the steps." With a nod, I let the tall half-youkai support himself on me until we reach the bed. He grabs my hand and pulls me down with him. He starts to kiss my neck, his hands running down my back and in my hair. With great difficulty I pull away from his warm embrace.
"No Gojyo I..." His hands pause and he looks into my eyes.
"What's wrong Hakkai?"
"I'm just very tired that's all, would you mind if..." Actually I can't live through another meaningless "session" with my heart intact.
"Sure but can you stay with me? I promise I won't do anything." I nod and slip under the covers next to him, easing into his embrace pretending that he loves me in return. "Hakkai, do you love me?" I stiffen at his question but soon I am relaxed again. He's drunk so he probably won't remember any of this tomorrow. He hasn't so far except that we had "fun."
"Yes Gojyo, I love you. I love you even though it tears me apart to see that you never will know."
"Now I do." I look into crimson eyes startlingly clear for a drunk person. "I'm sorry 'Kai. Didn't know I was hurting you so bad, I thought you knew. I loved you from the day you opened your eyes after I took you in. I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression because I love you for you."
"You're not drunk!" I can't believe what I'm hearing, Gojyo has just told me he loves me and all I can say is 'Your not drunk'! "Brilliant deduction! But yes I do love you." Gojyo leaned down and kissed me, one I gladly receive. His tongue slips into my parted lips, deepening the kiss. Gasping for air we parted. "Gojyo I have no way to express to you how happy I am." With a chuckle and another kiss Gojyo replied, "Then don't even try 'Kai. Don't even try."
"Ne, Sanzo." "What do you want saru?" "What are those noises coming from Gojyo and Hakkai's room?" "Go to sleep baka." "Demo, Sanzooo..." "I said go to sleep!" "San-..." "Urasai!" At that, Goku puts on his kawaii pout face, the one he uses to get what he wants. I sigh and motion for him to come here. He crawls next to me on the bed and lays his head against my chest, Goku sighs as I play with his chocolate brown locks. "Sanzo?" "What now?" "I love you." "I love you too Goku." "Gonna tell me now?" "Nope, not a chance."
~Owari~
A/N: Well that concludes that, my next fic is one about Fake so please check it out. Thanks for reading!