Me: Yet another one-shot, and (surprise-surprise!) it's a song-fic! ^_^

Brigs: *sarcastically* Yippee, hurray for Angie, JUST GET ON WITH IT!

Me: Jeez, what's eating you?

CP: T_T You've practically abandoned your other stories, that's what.

Me: ^^; Oh, sorry 'bout that! I'm going home for a couple days this weekend, maybe I'll get some inspiration then… in the mean-time… Tala, do the disclaimer!

Tala: What do I get out of it?

Me: The closet keys and a hypnosis handbook.

Tala: *evil grin* Angevar doesn't own Beyblade. The song that this fic was inspired by (and is meant to be read with) is 'My December' (the original version, not the techno mix, it's damn hard to find though) and it's by Linkin Park.

Me: *tosses Tala a set of keys and a book entitled 'Do it Yourself Hypnosis'*

Tala: Thanks! ^^

Me: Okay, I'm using the Japanese names in this one, and I'm not sure if I spelled Kenny's correctly. Does anyone have a confirmed correct spelling? Bleh, anyways, these are the Japanese names, for anyone who doesn't happen to know them.

Kai = Kai (same)

Takao = Tyson

Rei = Ray

Max = Max (same)

Kyojyu = Kenny (aka: Chief)

Me: Uh, anything else?

Brigs: Yeah. *to readers* Anything in ~Blah, blah, blah~ is lyrics for the song, the rest is standard speech.

Me: I messed around with the order of the verses a little, nut aside from that it's all the same.

CP: Right, On With The Fic!

My December

By Angevar

(Tuesday, March 9, 2004)

Snow fell gently to the ground, tiny crystalline flakes crunching under heavy boots or clustering on fence rails, dazzling and sparkly white.

~This is my december

This is my time of the year

This is my december

This all so clear~

Kai Hiwatari watched the snow fall as he walked, tiny flakes floating gently through the still, thick air to rest in his soft, slate-grey bangs. The delicate ice gems landed softly on the thick, leather jacket he wore over his broad shoulders, the fleece lining warm around his neck. There was no wind, and he walked slowly, but his pale, creamy white scarf floated behind him like a pair of wings.

He sighed softly, his warm breath condensing and floating away in a small cloud of icy mist. He crimson eyes stayed locked on the pavement, seeing but not seeing as the cold, dry air nipped his milky skin.

He absent-mindedly tugged his scarf tighter around his neck, lost in thought and admiration of the season. December was one of his favorite times of the year, not for the usual reasons of Christmas and New Years, but because it was quiet. Kai liked the soft, snowy silence that settled on the world in the evenings. People in general thought it was too cold to be out and so they stayed indoors, Kai liked it that way. They would stay in and he would go out, to walk in quiet solitude, not being bothered by people in general. For some reason, being around them made him feel… strange. Like he was a passer-by watching the rest of the world…

People made him feel… alone.

That was the only way to really describe it, when he was around other people, he was reminded that unlike them, he was about as alone as you can get in this world without being a hermit, and even they don't get lonely for some reason.

Yes, being around people made him feel alone.

~This is my december

This is my snow covered hole

This is my december

This is me alone~

He mentally slapped himself, he was being stupid. Why should he feel alone? He was Kai Hiwatari; a rich, nineteen year old young man, owner of one of the biggest bio-technology institutes in the world, sought after by women ad still one of the top five beybladers in the world. Why should he feel alone?

He shrugged the thought off irritably. He didn't need people or friends around him, and he didn't care. He used to have people around him a long time ago, when he was part of a team. On a team, you had to have other people.

But they had gone their separate ways a long time ago. Max and Kyojyu had gone to the states, Max to go back to the All-Stars and the Chief to study. They still came back once in a while, but the hard, cold side of Kai said that he didn't care if they never came back.

Rei had left too, going back to China to coach new beybladers. Kai scowled; let them learn on their own. He had… more or less. You couldn't exactly call the abbey a great learning environment.

The only one on the team who was still around was Takao. He still lived with his grandfather in the dojo, but Kai never visited, never even made voluntary contact nowadays. He had used to, after they sort of finished beyblading as a team, but before they went their separate ways he used to go over there just because…

But he didn't now.

He had grown to be a better person around them, but now he had reverted back to the old Kai, the one from before he even met them.

But there was still that small part of him that missed that period of time as team captain for the BladeBreakers. Not because he was in charge, or because he got to go to all the tournaments, but because that small part of him missed his team-mates.

But the Kai he was now refused to listen to that small part of him. It told him that he didn't need them, didn't have time for them, that friends were a weakness that could be exploited…

He raised beautiful claret eyes and watched the flakes of snow swirl around in the tiny gusts, whipping themselves into tiny spirals and tornadoes and the falling back down again… this was his time of year, when it was cold and forbidding outside, but warm and pleasant inside.

Kai did not let himself linger on those thoughts, and tried to turn them back to matters of business, the running of his company. But his mind constantly came back to his old team. But that had been the idea of going for a walk, right? To think it out and get it out of his system. Right?

Kai sighed softly again, this time his breath did not form a hazy mist like it usually did.

He missed them, missed seeing them. He missed they way they would smile, and laugh, and talk about anything at all around him, as if he were just another normal person, not a statue of living ice…

Of course, he couldn't really do much about Rei, Max and Kyojyu. But he could have gone to see Takao if he really wanted to, but he didn't.

It wasn't that he was avoiding Takao on purpose… well, maybe a little. The last time he had spoken to the midnight-haired teen had been ages ago, and it had not ended on the best of notes. Once in a while though, Kai would see him in a crowd, but then the cold, icy part of Kai that Voltaire had created would step in and force him to look the other way. To pretend that he didn't need anyone, least of all Takao…

~This is my december

These are my snow-covered trees

This is me pretending

This is all I need~

Snow fell softly into the branches of the trees that lined the sidewalk. Kai looked up at the and smiled to himself, he had always thought that the trees were the prettiest part of winter, the way the snow would pile into small drifts on the boughs of the evergreens. How the branches of the other trees stood out, stark and beautiful against the soft, cloudy grey sky, as if they were reaching up for a piece of heaven long denied.

Kai wondered what Takao liked about December…

Now that he thought about it, Takao was probably home, either sleeping, eating or having relatives over for Christmas. It was December 20th, just a few days till Christmas, and little more than a week till new-years. But Kai didn't celebrate either of them; he was too busy running Bio-Volt and barely had time to beyblade anymore. He gave his employees a break, a whole week leading up to Christmas and another after and then some. But he didn't have the time to do so for himself, he had a job, and he had to keep the company running smoothly. He couldn't afford to take two days off to celebrate something he didn't have.

After all, Christmas was about family, wasn't it…?

And Kai had never had a family.

The closest thing he had had was his team. But he hadn't seen them in a long time. He wasn't even sure if he would want to see them again if he could. The last time had been about four or five months ago, Takao had called everyone in to celebrate his 17th birthday. Kai hadn't gotten him a present… hell; he had ended up having a huge argument with Takao and had stormed out in a rage.

Looking back, Kai regretted snapping at the younger teen like that…

And I…

Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed.

And I…

Take back all the things I said to make you feel like that.

And I…

Just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed.

And I…

Take back all the things I said to you.

Kai mentally slapped himself. It was in the past; he couldn't afford to dwell on it and didn't want to either. He chanted to himself in his mind, lost to the world as he let his feet take him where they would.

Snow and ice crunched noisily under his feet, he didn't hear the sounds. His foot struck something, a rock in the snow, snapping him out of his reverie. He looked around at where he was, a regretful frown on his face.

The park, the one near Takao's house. He didn't come here often, it was far away from where he lived and now it held memories he was not fond of. Well, he might as well be here as elsewhere.

His feet carried him to the bridge that went over the fish pond, that's where he had last seen Takao. Kai's expression saddened as he remembered.


Takao had been bugging Kai to lighten up during the entire party, calling him a sourpuss and telling him that in order to be considered human you had to smile once in a while, nagging him to let loose a little.

"You know Kai," he said, talking to the cold, Russian blader who sat staring out the window "I'm not mad at you or anything; I hadn't really expected you to do anything as out of character as get me a present, but you could at least try to look happy."

Kai's blood-red eyes shot to the teen addressing him, "I don't have time Takao. I'm busy now, I have things I need to do and I don't have to even be here if I don't want to." He snapped, glaring harshly at the younger teen.

Takao looked taken aback a little, then his expression changed to one of hurt and anger "I don't know why I bother sometimes Kai." His stormy eyes were hard and determined, "I just try and make you a little more human, and what do you do? You thrown it back in my face!"

"Oh really?" Kai responded "Well guess what, I don't know why you try either!" Kai stood up, looking down onto the holder of Dragoon and giving him one of those arctic glares that could scare the living daylights out of most people "I really don't know why you do what you do Takao, and for the most part id' just as soon you quit trying to make me be more like you! I can't be and I don't want to be, thank-you-very-much. Goodbye!"

Kai had stormed angrily out of the house and almost slammed the door off its hinges in doing so. He had gone to the park, he had gone there a lot back then, he found it peaceful, away from the rest of the world.

He had gotten to the bridge over the fish pond when Takao caught up, his face had been flustered and he was obviously out of breath, but the midnight-haired youth had apologized to Kai anyways. And Kai…

Kai had spat his apology right back into his face, just like Takao said he did and practically threw the teen off the bridge. He had yelled that he didn't have time for them anymore, that he didn't need or want them around and had stormed off again into the nigh, leaving Takao with a bloody lip, leaning against the carved wooden railing of the bridge, staring after the slate-haired teen who had once been his captain.

End Flashback

Now though, as Kai gazed down into the cold, crystal clear water below the bridge, watching the snowflakes float for a moment on the surface before melting into the dark water, he wished that he had just stopped and listened to Takao that night, maybe then he'd have that small shred of comfort and there wouldn't be a lump of guilt nesting in his chest. Maybe if he had listened he wouldn't be wishing he was someone else.

~And I'd…

Give it all away

Just to have somewhere to go to

Give it all away

To have someone to come home to~

Kai Hiwatari sighed, shoulders slumping almost dejectedly. Why did he have to be who he was? Why couldn't he seem to open up to anyone? Why did he always push them away and then yell that it was their fault?

He walked away from the bridge, away from the memories it held. Even though it had been almost five months, he still hated himself for it. Cursing his sheer stupidity, he headed home.

The snow drifted slowly down from the sky, swirling in pretty eddies and covering the footprints on the bridge in a soft, glittery white blanket.

Kai: o0 Did you just make me beat the shit out of Tyson and then walk off?!

Me: ^^; …yes.

Kai: *in a mad rage* I'M GONNA KILL YOU ANGEVAR! *chasing her with a hack-saw*

Me: *running frantically away from Kai* Blame it on the song! Not on me! It just fit to put it that way! And besides, it was a flashback!


Me: Lots of people make you do that! Take a look at Rumi-Chan! Besides, you didn't really mean it, you just shoved him and he fell down! *has climbed up on top of the closet and is trying to keep Kai away with a wooden pole*

CP: *watching them* Hmm… That just about does it I think… Oh, wait I remembered something. This is more of a semi-angsty little thing about Kai's feelings, there isn't really any romance at all, but we may continue it and if we do… well you know the drill.

Brigs: What she's saying is that Angie will put TyKa everywhere she can fit it and then she'll leave it alone for ages and then come back to it out of the blue, but I'd like to at least get within sight of the endings of some of the other stories before I let her do anything more with this one.

Tyson: Until then, please leave a nice review on your way out. ^^ Reviewers will receive complimentary chocolate mints and a case of their favorite flavor of soda!

Brigs: *grabs a case of Mugs root beer and smiles* Review! ^_^