Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter! DAMMIT!

Warning: Slash, Cutting.

A/N: Hey...I'm Rosy. If anyone here reads Kodocha or Demon Dairy, you might know me! This is my first HP fic. It IS slashy, so if you don't like it, than don't read it. Though I suggest you try it.

Like I said, this is my first attempt at Harry Potter. This is probably not my best work. So if you hate it, don't be like, "MAN! This writer sucks ass! I'll never read one of her stories again!"

That would be mean!

Rain: What...ever.

Oh, I'm sorry, everyone, this is Rain. Rain is my muse. She's a bit...dark. **shudder. **

Oh, and this chapter is a song fic, but the next chapter won't be.

/ = thoughts.

- = lyrics.

++ = flashback.

OKAY! Well, please R&R! Here we go:


I'll never hate you.

-I'm not a perfect person

There's many things I wish I didn't do-

Draco Malfoy sat on the cold, tile floor of the bathroom alone, blonde hair falling over his perfect gray eyes. However, tonight the normally cold, steel eyes glistened with tears. His heart pounded as a shaky hand reached under the sink, and pulled out a gleaming knife. Slowly, Draco lowered it to his wrist. As the cold silver touched his skin, a shiver ran through Draco's body. This was not the first time he had cut. His arms were full of raw cuts, and old scars. But still, he never could get used to the first touch of silver against skin.

He drew the knife along his arm, a trail of blood following it. Draco smiled through his tears, through his pain. Tonight he would end it all.

-But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you-

A brief memory flashed through Draco's mind. He stood over Harry and smiled down cruelly as Harry stared up at him, his eyes wide.

++"I don't hate you, Draco." Harry had whispered, causing the smile to slip slowly from his face.

"DAMMIT!" The shout escaped Draco, causing Harry to meet his eyes in surprise. "Dammit, you...you're...supposed to! Dammit, Harry, hate me!"

And he had kicked him, hard in the stomach. Harry had doubled over in pain, blood splattered down his robes from an open cut.

He had looked at Draco, into his eyes, into his soul. And, for a second, Draco thought that Harry understood.

"I still don't hate you." ++

-And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know-

A tear slipped down from Draco's eyes. Malfoy's weren't supposed to cry. But that didn't matter...he wouldn't be a Malfoy much longer.

Quickly, he bandaged his arm. Best save the blood for later. First, he had things to take care of.

He pulled out a quill from his pocked, and began to write.

Dear Harry,

Gods, I don't even know where to begin. I'm sorry, Harry, Gods, I'm so fucking sorry for...everything. I don't know why I did it...everything. I wanted to be with you so badly, and, if it couldn't be in friendship...in love...than I would be with you in hate. When you read this note, Harry, I will be gone. I will no longer on this Earth. I just...don't have a reason to live anymore Harry. I can't live anymore. Not like this...

-I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you-

I know...nothing could ever take back what I've done to you Harry. No words could ever take back what I've done. Everything I've put you through...

-I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away-

++ Draco stood over Harry, a tear falling from his shining gray eyes. But he wiped it away before Harry could see.

Malfoy's didn't cry.

Harry wiped his bleeding mouth on the back of his hand, his eyebrows furrowed, all his energy focused on not crying out in pain... ++

-And be the one who catches all your tears

That's why I need you to hear-

And, Harry, I want you to know how sorry I am...about what happened today...

++ Harry bent over, picking up the things on the floor that Draco had thrown. Draco just smirked.

Harry, his stuff gathered and held tightly to his chest, turned to face Draco.

"I don't know why you do this to me, Malfoy. All this pain you put me through. But I don't care. I'll never hate you, Malfoy. No matter what you do to me. Because if I hate you, you win."

"Fuck you, Potter!" Draco had snarled. "Fuck you and that bloody scar on your head. Fuck you for thinking your better than me! Fuck you, Potter! You're not the savior of the bloody world! You're the bloody downfall! You'll kill us all; just like you killed you bloody parents!"

Harry met Draco's eyes. His emerald ones where clouded with tears. He didn't see Hermione struggling to keep a grunting Ron back. He didn't see that the entire hallway had stopped to look at him. He just saw Draco.

"I'll. Never. Fucking. Hate. You." He whispered.

And then he ran. ++

-I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you-

Another tear streamed down Draco's face.

God, how could he say that to him?

He turned back to the letter, and finished it:

I can't say anything that will make it better. That will make this all go away. All I can say is... I love you, Harry.

-I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you-

/ I love you so much.../

-And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know-

Tears fell freely from his eyes now. They knew no restraint. The cold steel touched his wrist once more. This time, he would do it.

He drew a deep line, and blood poured over his robes.

This time...he would end it.

-I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you-

"I just wish I could change this..." He whispered as his vision became blurry.

-I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you-

Harry Potter sat in the Gryffindor tower, looking out at the stars hanging over the Forbidden Forest.

/ Tomorrow/ He thought, / Tomorrow, I'll tell him how I feel. /

He smiled, looking dreamily at a star.

"I could never hate you. I never will. No matter what. After this...after all of this...I can still never hate you. I...tomorrow, I'll tell you.

"I love you, Draco Malfoy."

-And the reason is you...-


A/N: well, there you have it! I realize it wasn't the best. Angsty too. Well, anyways, I hope you liked it. Sorry for the crappyness!

Please R&R!

Hey, okay, I just got some reviews, three good ones, one kind of bad one. to her- I actually was going to make a sequel where Harry has to find Draco. Who votes for that? Who says, screw it, leave it?