Mr. Sark could kill you with a cocktail umbrella, but he considers that kind of parlor trick to be ridiculous, so he'll probably just shoot you. Mr. Sark speaks fluent Mandarin and Cantonese. Mr. Sark can breathe underwater(that one isn't true).

Mr. Sark thinks that he is better than you, and he may well be. Mr. Sark has 20/25 eyesight. He can run a mile in under 3 minutes. Mr. Sark does not smoke.

"...," says Mr. Sark, and that is all he has to say to you. You feel lucky to have been not addressed by him, personally. Mr. Sark is just that kind of guy.

Mr. Sark ties very tight, secure knots. He has placed you in the brightest spot in the room. How considerate of Mr. Sark- now you can more thoroughly examine what was your kneecap. In polite circles, Mr. Sark would be interrogating you now. Despite the dog-and-pony show, Mr. Sark is not a polite man.

Mr. Sark has someone to shine his shoes for him, and they sparkle even in shadow. Mr. Sark's hair care products do not leave any distinctive smell at all. Mr. Sark smells like new clothes. Mr. Sark takes his time screwing on the silencer.