The Saturn Adept

(Complete with boring title, unoriginal plot, and painful Mary Sue x Isaac action!)



...Revision numero two. To get rid of copyright violations and random formatting errors. Egads!


It was a bland, boring day in Vale.

Isaac said that, of course, only since there were no monsters to fight, no evils to overcome, nor any Proxian hotties that needed to be ground into the dirt.

...Ahem. Do forget the last one he mentioned.

But Isaac - poor Isaac and the inhabitants of Vale! They did not know what this simple thought could bring about for them and the rest of the heroes of the Golden Sun...

"Hey, Garet!" Isaac called from his perch on his rooftop, inching downwards toward the ladder. "Anything new?"

"Nope." His friend sighed deeply, shoulders sagging. "Nothin' to do, nothin' to fight, no women to chase after..."

"I think I'll take offense." Jenna said, appearing from the side of Isaac's house. Garet visibly jumped and backpedaled.

"I - I wasn't referring to you, Jenna, I was..."

Referring to me. Mmhmmhmm. Thought a woman high up in a tree, a hood over her face concealing her features. She tapped a ghostly pale finger against her cheek, a small, evil little smile on her lips.

"Well, whatever! I wouldn't let a doofus like you court me anyways!" Jenna snorted, crossing her arms over her chest and sending a glare that could easily wither trees and dry riverbeds in seconds flat towards the other Mars Adept. "I have Isaac, and that's good enough for me."

"Jennaaaaa..." Garet wailed. Isaac blinked, not knowing whether to take what Jenna said seriously or not.

"Can it, you player."

"I'm not a - "

I think now is a good time. The woman slipped out of her tree, moving silently and quickly to the entrance of the sleepy little town.

While the two Mars Adepts continued their ever-pointless quarrel, in came Garet's little-brother-who-looked-suspiciously-like-a-girl.

"Gaaaareeet!" He cried, looking oddly distressed for a child his (her?) age. "There's this weird girl who just came to the gates! She's dressed funny and has weird colored hair, and she says she's a Saturn Adept!"

The teenagers all said (quite blankly) in unison, "What?"

"A Saturn Adept?" Jenna made a face. "But those don't exist!"

"That sounds suspicious..." Isaac murmured, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

"Probably a terrorist." Jenna sniffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"A Proxian wannabe, I betcha!" Garet's brother, who also happens to be oddly unnamed, exclaimed.

"I'll go check it out," Garet said. "It's my job as the mayor, anyways."

"Not mayor, dork." Garet's-little-brother sighed, with a roll of his eyes. "You're in-training to be the mayor."

"Shut up, squirt. Same difference. Isaac, Jenna, either of you coming?"

"I'll go. I want to see what this girl looks like... And if she's faking or not." Jenna said sternly, joining Garet. "Isaac?"

"I, um..." Hadn't his mother told him to patch up the roof again? For the third time that month? Garet really liked to walk around on his roof for no good reason sometimes...

"Aw, c'mon, Isaac! We've never heard of a Saturn Adept... Aren't you curious?" asked Garet's-unnamed-brother.

"Besides, it's a chick!" Garet said, as though it were of utmost importance. Jenna elbowed him roughly in the side.

"Fine, I'll go." Isaac said with a small sigh. "Got nothing else better to do anyways..."

And so, the trio, plus Garet's-unnamed-little-brother, set off for Vale's gates, ready to take on whatever Weyard happened to feel like throwing at them.

But of course, they weren't expecting her.


The Saturn Adept turned out to be Xanaeya (Was that the correct spelling? We may never know), a girl dressed in pale yellow clothing with hair a yellow even paler. She had carefully guarded, cool emerald green eyes that surveyed the scene with one sweeping glance. At her side was a sword - a katana, she said - dubbed "Fallen Moon," though she gave no reason as of to why. Xanaeya was an assassin, one given the sole responsibility of killing Isaac. But Isaac and Garet seemed to pay no mind - they were more interested in staring at her cleavage, which, due to her revealing clothing, was easily seen.

Did I mention she was supposedly hired by Alex?

Keyword is supposedly, remember.

Jenna caught on to this scheme of Alex's relatively quickly – out of those present at the time, she had spent almost a year dealing with Alex and – dare I say – his quirks. But for some strange and sadistic reason, the author will not reveal the gist of the scheme... Because that would take all the fun out of it, right?

But, not having spent a time deemed far too long with Alex, Garet and Isaac simply stared.

"You're an assassin?" Jenna queried, one eyebrow raising. "So how'd you get in?"

"Jumped the gate," Xanaeya said simply, one hand on the katana at her waist.

"Isaac, she's out to kill you. Shouldn't we, y'know, be doing something?" The female Mars Adept asked of the boys, but the words had no effect on them. Jenna sighed.

"They cannot hurt me. Saturn is my protector." Xanaeya stated in her quiet voice. Her brilliant emerald eyes closed for a moment, long, thick lashes against pale, smooth skin.

"Saturn is your protector? That's the lamest excuse I've heard in a whi - " Jenna started, a finger pointed at the Saturn Adept, when a sudden exclamation from Isaac cut her off.

"OMGSHE'SSOOOHAWWT!1111" The Venus Adept cried out, throwing himself at Xanaeya's feet, clinging to her. Xanaeya did not look at all surprised. Jenna gaped. Garet continued to stare wordlessly.

"What the heck?" Jenna asked, stating all of the readers' thoughts precisely. "Isaac, what was... What did... How the... how did you say that?"

"She's pretty."

"Excuse me?" Jenna whirled around to stare in surprise at Garet, who had seemingly broken out of his trance.

"She's pretty." He repeated, not even looking at the other Mars Adept, but continuing to keep his eyes on Xanaeya. Garet didn't even seem to notice the fact Isaac was sobbing over the perfection of the Mary Sue - er, perfection of Xanaeya. Xanaeya. Yeah.

"I should kill you..." Xanaeya murmured, the katana coming out of its sheath soundlessly. She held the blade above Isaac, her jade eyes narrowed. Jenna didn't know whether to be happy or to scream in terror.

But, alas, she had no need to do either, as Xanaeya re-sheathed her sword without so much as a word, her mouth set in a firm line.

"But I won't."

"Huh? Why?" Jenna's eyes widened, trying to catch the eyes of the other girl, but Xanaeya kept her eyes on the ground. "Isn't it your job to kill Isaac?"

"Yes, it is. But Alex has only been unfair to me... He's enslaved me, ever since he killed off the rest of the Saturn Adepts. I am the only one remaining, the guardian of the Saturn Lighthouse, and he imprisoned me, because he believes I have a power unmatched sleeping within me."

"So you're the last Saturn Adept..." Jenna's lips twisted as she mulled over the current facts. "You're Alex's prisoner. The last Saturn Adept. A guardian. Potentially and probably betraying Alex by allowing Isaac to live. You have mass amounts of power within you. Huh." She conveniently forgot to add the "Sounds like you're going to angst pointlessly now and eventually get Isaac into your bed" part, though.

"Xanaeya ure sooo prety," Isaac wailed, his blue eyes shining. Jenna stared, but not in the same way Garet and Isaac himself had earlier.

"...I..." Jenna started, blinking slowly. Everything had yet to really set in; poor girl. "...I'm going Mia..." She said, pointing in the direction of her home, where she kept the borrowed (Rather, stolen) Teleportation Lapis from Sheba. "I, um... well... bye."

It was the first time in a long time Jenna had been so stunned beyond belief that she was unable to form complete sentences... That girl... She was... She was going to be a bother. With Garet drooling uncontrollably and Isaac a fangirlish mess, what was a girl to do except get back-up?

Jenna stopped in the middle of the bridge. A thought had occured to her. There were no such things as Saturn Adepts, right? She was sure of it. But Kraden would have a field day, researching this girl. With a devilish smirk, she changed her course and headed off to Kraden's cottage, set on giving the girl hell while she remained within Vale.

Meanwhile, up in Most-Evil Headquarters, Alex heard a most malicious evil laugh, sounding much like his own. He smiled thinly, legs crossed as he lounged in his Throne of All Evil. "Things are going as planned, dearest," he cooed to a white cat with long hair who slept in his lap. "Yes... Just as planned... Isaac is ruined, Garet is obsessed, Jenna is now evil... Weyard is as good as mine."

The cat mewled.

And Alex laughed his pretty head off.