Category: Liz angst, UC
Disclaimer: Nothing Roswell-related belongs to me. It's the work of wonderful people like Jason Katims and Melinda Mertz.
Summery: Liz thinks about her relationship with Alex. Companion piece to "God Can Explain."
Author's Note: Thanks again to everyone who commented on my work. Please review! J
Liz picked up the telephone and dialed a familiar number. The phone rang once, and then Maria picked up.
"Hey. It's me."
"Oh, hi. What's up?"
"Well, I was just wondering, um, you know, if you had gotten anything from Alex for Christmas." The words rushed out of her mouth and she cringed. There was a pause on the other end. "Maria? Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. The thing is, well, I got a package from him about two weeks ago."
"Oh." Liz frowned. "What was in it? How come you never mentioned it?"
"It was filled with silly gag gifts from him for me and Kyle, and all of the Chezchoslovakians, even Tess. " Maria paused again. "I'm sure he just forgot to put your present in the package. It's probably in the mail right now."
"No, I got something from him the other day. I was just wondering if you had."
"Oh, well, ok then." Maria smiled. "I miss him, you know? He always makes me smile."
"Yeah. Yeah, me too. Listen, I have to go. I'll talk to you later, ok?"
"Yep. Bye, babe."
Liz hung up the phone slowly, sighing with relief. She was glad in a way that no one else had received serious gifts from Alex. If they had all been as thoughtful, it would have made hers less special. She walked over to her dresser and removed the small box that she had hidden inside the top drawer. She had actually received her gift about the same time as the package had arrived at Maria's house, but she hadn't known if Alex had given everyone presents. She walked over to her bed and sat down.
She lifted the lid and tenderly removed her present, a gorgeous silver and turquoise bracelet. It was absolutely beautiful, and Liz loved it. She guessed that Alex had spent a lot of money on it, and it had probably taken forever for him to pick it out. She smiled. He was coming home tomorrow. It was funny how she had never noticed how much she missed him until he wasn't around.
The truth was, Alex did more for her than make her smile. He was always there for her, and he never held anything against her. He was also smart, and caring – in her opinion, Isabel was either quite blind or stupid. Liz had always thought of Alex as a close friend, but they had grown closer over the summer, after Max had discovered his destiny and had let her walk away. Alex had been so comforting and dependable that Liz had begun to think of him as more than just a friend.
She lay back on the bed and sighed. At least she knew that loving him wouldn't ensure the death of all of her friends. No matter what anyone said, she simply could not allow her selfishness to be the cause of so much destruction. Max had his destiny and where did that leave her? Alone, heartsick, and ashamed. The entire school thought that she had had sex with Kyle Valenti, for God's sake. Liz didn't like looking back on the person she had become because she sometimes felt that it wasn't her. Before any of this happened, she would never have thought of lying to her parents or of sneaking out of the house at night. She would have been the same happy, oblivious, perfect little Liz Parker with her perfect little boyfriend. And as much as she sometimes welcomed the changes, part of her longed for the innocence that she had lost the day that the gun went off. Max had saved her life, and for that she would always be grateful. But maybe, just maybe, it was time for her to move on and be happy.
Liz twisted the bracelet between her fingers and smiled. Alex was so thoughtful – this present had been perfect, as usual. She really did miss him, and she tilted her head as she considered telling him just how much. She rolled over and picked up the phone, once again dialing a familiar number. "Maria? I was thinking… Let's have a party for Alex at the Crashdown tomorrow."