AN: I suppose this could be filed under Bloopers. I found the idea amusing, I hope it brings laughter your way as well. Takes place around chapter thirty, or would if I suddenly leapt from action/drama to humor. I'm not, but it's still funny to read. OOCness on the part of Kino/Ryukotsusei, but oh well, that's why it's not actually part of One Wish.

Next chapter for One Wish will be posted by the end of July. Sorry for delays- I'm trying to get two original stories drawn up, and Kagome and the crew have had to take a backseat.

Summary: When casting dark ancient spells found in tomes dating back to the days the gods walked the earth, try to remember that they always leave out the important bits just so no one can cast the spell but the spell's creator. And never assume that, just because someone's anti-social, they don't get laid.

Disclaimer: Souta, Ryukotsusei, and the Shikon no Tama courtesy of Rumiko Takeshi. Mischa, Ayame, and Hizashi products of a deranged mind and available for loans.

There was a great flash of white light.

When the stars faded from their eyes, there was no change. The dragon remained entombed in the cliff, the four unwilling participants in the ceremony remained bound- though the gags seemed to have been lost in the windstorm the magic had summoned- and Kino Hachiro looked no different than what he was before the ceremony. Besides low energy levels from the ceremony- meaning it had been completed, just something went wrong.

Hizashi started giggling.

Kino leveled a stare at her. "What do you find so amusing?" he growled out.

Her smile was brilliant. "The Shikon no Tama," she said between snickers, "is comprised of holy energy."

"I know that," he snapped.

Her smile hadn't faded. "It gets better. One needs a participant in the ceremony that is similar to the item in question. Soone must havea holy person. Barring that-" She stopped to snicker again. "Someone pure." She started laughing out right. As she continued to laugh, she gasped out, "Virginal."

Souta and Ayame had identical blushes on their faces and were quick to look in the opposite direction of the other. This meant Souta made eye contact with Mischa, whoarched one dark eyebrow. His blush brightened. Hizashi's musical laughter regained momentum watching the display.

"What the fuck?" the dragon yelled in an out of character display of uncouth behavior. He glared at his daughter. Her olive skin was reddening under the angry stare and she stared hard at the ground. "Who did you sleep with, girl?"

"Well," she managed to say in a tremulous voice, even as her skin became as red as her crimson eyes, "you did say to keep an eye on him."

Mischa snorted and Souta squirmed under the angry gaze Kino turned on him. "You slept with my daughter!"

"Niece," Ayame corrected under her breath.

Souta copied Ayame's move and stared resolutely at the ground. He was fifteen and his best friend was a pretty girl who liked to flirt. What did they expect?

Kino wasn't finished with him yet, but there was one last person to question. It was unsurprising to learn Hizashi, with her three centuries of life, had not remained chaste solely for this ceremony.

It was harder for hanyou to find bedmates, however.

Mischa's gaze met his unabashedly, and her face was too smudged with dirt and blood to tell if she was blushing.

"What's your excuse?" he asked, giving her a flat stare.

"As if you don't know what the snake did to her," Ayame said, distracting him from the quiet human.

Mischa's gaze met Souta's as the dragon turned to snarl at his daughter about the difference between physical rape and mental rape. Her gaze focused on the left side of his face again and he gave a small choke as realization hit him.

Kino, of course, automatically thought the worst. "Your own cousin?" he said, turning to see Mischa staring at Souta, some incomprehensible human emotion written across her face.

Ayame made a small gagging noise that transformed into a growl- youkai were possessive.

"Soccer really keeps him fit," Mischa said vaguely.

Ayame glowered, and Mischa glared right back. Kino continued to make small noises of disgust, trying to wrap his mind around the idea of a wolf hanyou and a human teenager in bed together. It wasn't a pretty picture.

Ayame, on the other hand, was using her sharp mind for other matters- trying to recall who Souta spent a lot of time with that Mischa would know. And that played soccer, if the woman wasn't lying. She choked as she realized who the woman was talking about.

"You pervert!" she said, playing along with Mischa. Anything to distract Kino from trying the ceremony again. "Stick to people your own age!" Souta and Hizashi choked on laughter at that remark, but it was lost on the dragon.

"Your own cousin," Kino said, frowning at her. "I knew hanyou were off in the head- makes them easier to handle- but that's disgusting."

"Coming from someone possessing his brother's still-living body while trying to resurrect his own," Hizashi said, "this one feels the pot is calling the kettle black."

Mischa simply hoped Yoshi appreciated the effort she was putting in to keep him from coming to the dragon's notice. Though if the purity thing were true, Yoshi wouldn't be any more of a help than the rest of them were.

And the relationship was far more distant than cousins, anyway.