AN: Angsty-type short fic for One Wish from Kagome's voice's point of view. Thought of view. Whatever. Also an experiment in writing a songfic. I don't think it worked, but I thought you might like the information the presence hints around.

The next chapter for One Wish should be up sometime next week. Hopefully.

Summary: The pink presence muses on its many years. On everyone else's lack of those same years.

… Just to confuse you more. Or clear things up, depending on how twisted your ability to think is. (My mind makes a Moebius Strip look simple.)

Disclaimer: Quite frankly, if I took out the few mentions of names, this would be a completely original piece. But there is mention of names from Inu-Yasha, and nothing concerning the series is my brainchild."Going Under" is by Evanescence and used without permission.

( "Do you think I wish to go through this a fifth time?")

Little miko, do you realize how many centuries of life you have made me relive, over and over again? Each time you come to the climax, the final triumph of good over evil in your black and white world, you recall all the deaths you had to wade through to come to that moment. And each time, you wish it had not happened.

50 thousand tears I've cried

It's been well over a thousand years for me. None for you. This is my fourth time. It is always the first time for you. Always. And looking at you now, it seems a fifth time is a very real possibility.

You are breaking them. Rin ran the moment she got a look at what her future was. Kagura is descending into madness. Kohaku is giving in to apathy. Miroku drowns himself in sex in every life and tells himself that everything is fine. Kikyo is all but lost in pain and death and wonders when she'll be allowed to give up completely. Sango gave up long ago. Continually watching your family be destroyed lifetime after lifetime will do that to a soul.

And you still won't hear me
I'm going under

Is not wishing for something so difficult for you? I have been trying to show you that death is as necessary as life, but you continue to cling to the souls you have met. They have no wish to keep reliving those awful lives, keep dying again.

Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once

Can you not see them shatter? Can you not feel the pain that clings to them? Let them go. Immature possessiveness is only bringing all of you more pain. Why can you not hear the message underlying my words?

Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

How I long to give you the words to tell you what must be done. But even I am bound by rules. You must figure things out on your own, but you are never given the chance to mature to a point where you can truly make your choices with all the information.

I'm dying again

By your time, it has been thousands of years since I first came to be in this state of existence. What is another thousand years? Foolish little girl.

I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever

I miss myself. I miss who I once was. Death would have been preferable.

I've got to break through
I'm going under

Not this half-free, half-captive life my son has bound me to. He did not realize how aware I would be when he transmuted my power into this artificial sparkle of life. He does not know what will happen should anyone but you handle the power.

No one knows what will happen should any but the chosen miko handles it. How could they? It has never happened in this fourth trial. Only I remember the darkness that crossed the world the last time. It has no longer happened- wished away by a selfish little girl. Only I remember. Does that mean it only happened for me?

Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore

In the last trials, I never spoke to you. I thought you had a good head on your shoulders, that you could handle the responsibility foisted upon you so unexpectedly. I grew impatient, and spoke this time. Was it wise? I cannot remember my thoughts concerning the first conversation we had. Too many memories crowd together in my mind, and in the simplified existence my son imprisoned me in, I do not have the power required to handlethem all.

Am I going mad?

Drowning in you

Have the decency to free us, little miko. Stop making wishes based on your reality. You seem to think pain is bad.

I'm falling forever
I've got to break through

If you are never hurt, though, how could you tell when you are not hurt? This pain is necessary; but the repetition is not.

So go on and scream

So young. So foolish. So selfish. Why must the fate of the world continue to rest on your naïve shoulders? Why can I not change it?

Scream at me I'm so far away

Kikyo was no better; she had the same wish as you. Normality. Peace. And all she got was suffering. Just as you will. Face it, this life as Higurashi Kagome was written in the stars as one of conflict and pain.

I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under

It is not as if you will never get another chance at life. For someone so intent on seeing only the best in the world, when it comes to the crucial moment, you dwell on only the bad that has happened.

When the time to wish comes again, little miko, I hope you will understand why I will despise you and make your wish even worse than the reality you already must suffer in.

I'm going under

I am going mad. This form cannot handle the reality of my existence.

Drowning in you

Selfish little girl. Foolish little girl.

I'm falling forever
I've got to break through

I do not want to go through this a fifth time.

I'm going under

No wish. Please.