Disclaimer: I don't own them, can't and never will. But I'm not cryin.

A/N: Need a breather, so I'm writing a one-shot whooohoooo, still angsty though. Let's get this road on the show, shall we…?

Your life has been so hard. It's

Dried up angels that can't keep guard…

"Dee wait where are you going?" Ryo ran after Dee as he stormed out of Rose's office and out the door, grabbing his jacket off his chair and his car keys on the way out. "Dee what's wrong, why are you leaving?" The man didn't even break stride as he walked out to the parking lot and unlocked his beat up black Honda Civic, pulling the door open with such ferocity that it was a wonder the door didn't break. Dee had been surprisingly distant all week, he remained civil to Ryo and his friends but he was oddly detached, scary in comparison to the Dee everyone knew.

"Dee please talk to me." If anyone had felt the full brunt of Dee's withdrawal, it was Ryo. Not so much as an invitation to dinner, or stopping by for coffee after work and as a result the blonde felt very alone. Dee was all he had while Bikky was at summer camp with Carol. "I can't help unless you talk to me…" Ryo was torn apart inside, Dee had never outright ignored him before and he sorely missed Dee's kind words and warm smile. Even though he knew the reason for his distance, he was hoping Dee would talk to him about it.

And I'm trying to reach your hand, but

I'm on fire - I never meant to

Fade...away. Wait...for me.

The younger detective jammed his keys into the ignition and Ryo jumped back to avoid having his feet ran over. Hoping that Dee would make it home alright he sped through his reports at work, eager to find out what was bothering him. He took a taxi to Dee's house only to find that nobody was home, and hailed another taxi to take him to the orphanage, the only other place Dee would go.

He opened the front door and called out, getting a response in the direction of the kitchen. He found Mother sitting at a table sipping tea, brown eyes unusually sad and devoid of their usual luster. "Dee….where's Dee?" Mother sadly shook her head. "He left two hours ago, he was very upset." The blonde sat down in a chair across from Mother and took her hands in his. "Please tell me what's wrong with him; he hasn't been talking to me at all." The nun wiped a tear from her eye, squeezing Ryo's hands for his comfort as much as her own. "He hasn't told me either, he walked in talking nonsense about a case he was on, not being 'good enough' and some man named Rose. I couldn't understand a word he said for he was in tears. Randy I never want to see my son in tears again."

Oh, just stop pretending

When they say you're nothing

Ryo nodded, scared about just how serious the situation had gotten. "Do you know where he went? Please I need to find him!" Mother shook her head again, tears flowing freely down her cheeks. "N-no I don't know but oh please find him. He was so upset... I've never seen him like that before." Ryo reassured her that he would take care of it and left, taking another taxi back to the station. The detective's blood boiled as he walked up the steps to Rose's office, angry that he had done something to hurt Dee so much.

"Rose!" Ryo slammed open the door, the window installed in the door shattering as it hit the wall. Rose was ready to reprimand Ryo fully until he saw those dark eyes full of rage, and barely restrained hatred. "What the hell did you say to him? What did you do to Dee?" The blonde's voice was cold and dangerous, even making Rose a bit nervous. "I just followed protocol and did what any good detective would do. I questioned him."

"Cut the bullshit Rose, what the fuck did you question him about?" Ryo was sorely tempted to hop the desk and beat Rose's brains out but kept his temper in check. "I told him that he was being watched and treated as a suspect for the case you are currently working on. Since he was there-…" That did it; Ryo slammed his fist down on Rose's desk, grabbing the man by his shirt.

"You bastard! How could you even think that Dee would murder those children! Yes he was at the crime scene the time that it happened as well as saw the murder but do you know what he did?! Do you?! We found him lying in the rain, crying and clutching those dead children to him, and he wouldn't leave until everything was in order! You might not have seen it but he handled his job like a professional and pushed his emotions aside, when he got home he was a wreck! I almost had to take him to the hospital because he was hyperventilating! They were his brothers, Julian and Thomas, and he loved them! You son of a bitch!"

Ryo slugged Rose across the jaw and threw him out of his chair, staring down at his sprawled figure in contempt. "File a report on me if you want, but trust me there will be one on you for sexual harassment following it." Ryo left the office and tried calling Dee on his cell phone only to get his voice mail. "Dee please, where are you?" Ryo whispered a quick prayer and looked in all the bars he knew Dee frequented, getting more and more upset with each empty bar.

Are you sad?

Are you holding yourself?

Are you locked in your room?

You shouldn't be.

With a heavy heart he headed home, leaving his cell phone on in case Dee called. He was in the middle of cooking dinner when the phone rang, leaving him tripping over his feet to answer it. "Hello?! Dee?!" "No sorry Ryo this is Drake, I take it you haven't heard from him yet." Ryo collapsed onto the couch, feeling like he was about to cry. "No I haven't, I've looked everywhere. I know why he was upset but I don't know where he is." The blonde quickly told Drake what had happened, leaving the other detective angry with their boss too. "I'm going to kill him. JJ and I are looking for him anyway; I'll call you if we find anything. It might be a good idea to put up a missing person report if he's not at home." "Thanks Drake, I hope we can find him."

Ryo hung up the phone and put his head in his hands, sobs wracking his body as he sat on the couch and cried. "Dee where are you? Is it too late to tell you that I love you..?" The blonde didn't move even when he smelled his dinner burning, only getting up to turn off the stove. He went to the bathroom and changed into his pajamas, locking the front door before slipping beneath cold sheets. For once, he would have welcomed Dee's advances and would've given anything to be held in his arms. He whispered one more prayer for his safety and fell into a fitful sleep.

Ryo went in to work the next day and sat down at his desk, trying to keep his gaze away from the empty desk across from him. "McLean! In my office now!" The blonde got up and entered the room, taking a seat across from the chief. "What did that bastard do to my boy?" Ryo quickly sketched what he knew, including what he did making the chief chew on the end of his cigar in rage. "You're off duty today, go find him and bring him back. We don't know just what he is capable of right now." The detective frowned, telling the chief that he didn't take Dee as the suicidal type. "No maybe not suicidal, but he damn will drink himself into a drunken stupor, go find him Detective." Ryo nodded and left, telling Drake that he was going to look some more. Drake and JJ wished him luck before he ran out the door, hailing another taxi to take him to Dee's apartment.

Ryo banged on the door and eventually just busted it open; afraid of what he might find inside if anything at all. "Dee are you here, please God let him be here. Let him be safe." Ryo let out a relieved sigh when he saw Dee fast asleep on his bed, pictures and coke cans strewn everywhere. "Gods Dee, you have no idea how much everyone was worried about you, even chief was scared." Ryo stroked Dee's ebony locks, needing any type of contact after the fear of not having Dee.

"Why didn't you just tell me what he did, I'm sure it was more than what he told me. Just so you know I chewed him out real good for you." Dee's nose twitched and he leaned into Ryo's touch, sighing as slender fingers traced his face. "This week….was so weird, I really did miss you even though you were right across from me. I'm sorry if I have done anything to add to your pain."

I'm drowning inside your head, help me to answer, help understand, why

It's been so long since we talked like friends, oh please forgive me; I'm just a man who's made mistakes. Wait... for me.

Ryo stifled back a sob and held Dee's hand in his, tears welling in his dark eyes. "I'm sorry Dee; I won't ever deny you again. When you're gone, it just hurts too much. You're the world Dee, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Just stop pretending

When they say you're nothing…

"R-Ryo...How did you get in here?" The older man's tear-filled eyes snapped open at the sound of Dee's croaky voice, slightly ashamed of being caught like this. "Dee I was so worried about you! Y-you weren't there and you wouldn't answer the phone or call me and I was just so scared!" The blonde flung his arms around Dee's neck, nuzzling his face in the crook of his neck. Dee sat dumbfounded, nearly overwhelmed by Ryo's blatant show of affection.

"I'm so sorry Dee! I'm sorry that it took all this for me to find out that…I love you. I love you so much that I can't stand to see you hurt in any way." The green-eyed detective stared into dark eyes, his own watering from a growing flood of tears. "Oh God Ryo, I love you too. But it wasn't you, it wasn't you….I'm sorry." Ryo shushed the younger man and wrapped him in a warm embrace, patting his back as tears of joy and sorrow spilled out beneath shut eyelids.

"I punched him Dee, my God I don't know what possessed me to do that but I punched him. He won't be causing anymore trouble. You had the whole precinct worried koi. Drake, JJ, Ted, even the Chief were worried about you; please don't ever scare us like that again." Dee laughed, arms still circling his love's waist.

"Hey Ryo?"



JJ, Drake and Ted looked up as their office door was flung open, Dee Latener standing in the now open doorway in all his glory. He crossed the room and planted a kiss on JJ's forehead, causing him to go into a starry-eyed stupor. Turned and did the same to Drake, earning him death threats if he ever kissed him or his love interest again. And Ted ran out of the room before the detective could deliver his affectionate gift.

"Thanks for caring you guys, I'm lucky to have friends like you."

"Well that's fine but just don't flippin kiss us next time! JJ isn't breathing for Christ's sake!"

Ryo laughed as he sat down at his desk, overjoyed to see that almost everything had gone back to normal, well except for Ted hiding in the hallway. Dee caught Ryo's eye and smiled so warmly, that anybody who witnessed it automatically knew that both men had found love in each other.

As Dee and Ryo got down to work Drake kneeled in front of JJ, pulling his face down to meet his lips in a passionate kiss. "Are his kisses really better than mine?" The look on his face was just too cute and JJ kissed his nose in adoration. "Hell no! You just kiss me better when you're jealous." With a chuckle the two kissed again, as did the couple across the room causing Ted to run back out of the room proclaiming that the "Gay Love" in there was traumatizing him.

Speeding across town and burning up gas: $16.00

Drowning out your misery in cans of Coca-Cola: $9.50

Finding love in a tragic experience: Priceless.


Hope you liked it! I have another story coming up soon; I have decided to take a little break from Angels and Demons. Reviews greatly appreciated!