52Hellow Everyone! here is the first Installment of the Story. Thanks to Eos-hime who is now my co-Authoress, this is an Un-betaed version. one the betaing is done i will repost this fic. Enjoy!
Chapter 1
Anger and pain
Pachi!
Placing his stone Hikaru gazed at Akira, no matter how many times they played He would never grow tired of that solid expression on other face.
Pachi!
They were close match now, Hikaru got few win against Akir in formal games, which made them both happy.
Pachi!
Pachi!
Counting points Hikaru realized that he lost, so...
"I resign." and started to clean his stones "Thanks for the game."
"Thanks for the game." Akira looked trubled by something "Ne, tell me Hikaru - kosumi that you used." to tell you the truth that game made Akira recall other one – from the past – game with unstoppable Sai, only by few moves but still.
"What's wrong with my kosumi?" Hikaru picked up his fan "If you are going to ask me about Him I'm going home."
"I was thinking lately, your games are alike to His." said Akira
"I don't want to talk about that, Akira you know how much..." Hikaru stood up
"You promised that you would tell me, but even now... Who exactly is he?" Akira didn't knew what agitated him so much, maybe it was fact that Hikaru played someone else and didn't want Akira to know – or perhaps reason was even easier, that other person was loved by Hikau to the greatest extent, so much that they used the same moves.
"It was you who said that I'm the game I play. Last time asked you to never return to this. I will tell you at some point, when it won't hurt so much." Hikaru was now trembling, memory of empty room all those years ago, pain of thinking that he shouldn't play Go.
"You are not only one who..."
"I'm the only one. Sai had chosen me, me alone! He left me with his will..." Hikaru rushed to doors, but unfortunatly he heard Akira last words – said out of anger and pain.
"You? You cannot even play them right, His extraordinary moves are just a fake when you play them." Akira noticed that other boy stopped "That Sai is probably toying with you."
"I have believed that you see me as your equal" Hikaru whisper reached Akira and shocked him 'cos that voice couldn't belong to Hikaru – so cold and empty. "But if you see my games that way, I shall live." Shining lights in his eyes were now icy just like all those years ago, when he refused to play.
"Shindou... wait, I didn't mean to..." Akira tried to come closer but Hikaru didn't let him to do so.
"Sai would never hurt me like this, it was Him... from Him I have learned, even now from old kifu's I'm still learning from Him." with trembling hands Hikaru opened his fan and covered face so no one would see his tears. "There is no player that can play His moves as perfect as He did, but calling mine fake ones is too much." Hikaru bit his lip and shouted "I don't want to see you... never!" with those words Hikaru run as fast as he could, he also believed that those words hurt him more than Akira. Months ago he realized who was Akira for him, each day it was hard to call him properly Touya and now... - why?
"He still can see only Sai hand, I'm just substitute."
Later
Hikaru entered his room and looked around, that place was comforting him – memories of Sai and kifu smell was only things that could calm him this fast. But this time anger was greater, hard to bear with. Hikaru sat down and reached out to get his letters that mother left on his desk.
"Maybe I should reconsider that Offer from USA." He whispered " I can play Go wherever I am." His mind focused on that idea, being student in USA High School and later University – offer that came from old teacher met at last Amateur Tournament. "Adam-sensei was nice and said that they would even provide me with scholarship." Boy looked at fan "Tell me Sai, should I go there? I no longer know what to do, if He don't see me as equal I have nothing left. Accept your will and goal, but that I can reach anywhere" his eyes focused kifu's. Many of them belonged not to Sai, but to Akira "Why are you doing this to me? Can't you see... Why?" biting his lip Hikaru tried to stop tears from coming.
Next day Hikaru knew what to do, whether it was good decision or bad there was no other choice – not now when he decided to not see Akira again. He had money, at least for the beginning. It was hard to believe but mother was happy to hear that – apparently she saw that as way to cut him from Go, that strange unknown world.
"Call that teacher and get all informations."
"Yes, mother. He said that they only need my approval – it maybe fast from now on." with those words Hikaru grabbed his phone end returned to his room.
Few day's later
With calm face Hikaru left office, it was his last time here at Go Institute – at least for a while. After that game his break will be announced officially. Supervisor was shocked, but as he heard about America he stopped talking back.
"Now, with who I'm playing today..." mumbled Hikaru to himself "Isumi-san, I'm glad after all it was him who helped me out back then."
"Good luck." with slight bow Isumi smiled at him
"Good luck." responded Hikaru and game started
Pachi!
Pachi!
Flow of the stones was little of, but Hikaru still had adventage. He looked at Isumi, elder brother that who he was to Hikaru – ever since Insei day's, no matter what was wrong it was Isumi who knew what to do.
Pachi!
Pachi!
"Thank you." said Hikaru "I'm grateful."
"Shindou, is something...?" Isumi who was placing his next stone stopped "What's the matter?"
"Play, I don't have much time." Hikaru looked at clock "I want to enjoy that game to the fullest. Promise me that whatever happens you won't look for me."
"Ano... Shindou?"
Pachi!
Pachi!
"And here." said Hikaru completing his shape of stones.
"I resign." said Isumi
"Thank you, Isumi I haven't told anyone here." Shindou looked all over the room " Akira won't know since he don't have a game today. I would also ask you to keep it for yourself." he handed him little note "That is the school I will be in."
"If that is what you want." Isumi forced smile "Touya said something to you, didn't he?"
"Save it Isumi, I have already decided. My goal is Hand of God and I cannot reach it if my rival doesn't see me as equal. I will find a way... maybe my true rival is there." Hikaru turned to doors "I have a flight today, I should be going." with that words he left.
"He is shattered." said Isumi to himself "He acted tough, but who he was trying to fool. Touya what have you done?"
Two hours later Hikaru stood in his room with last bag in his hand, it pained him – to leave that room in which he played with Sai.
"I wonder, am I doing the right thing? Answer to me, please Sai!" that question didn't left him until he got into plane.
A/N: if anyone feels the need to input ideas feel free to. ^_~ it's always welcome