Chapter 5: 2 Unnecessary Origins

Disclaimer: Sadly, we don't own Teen Titans. If we did, Raven will be getting her own show- oh waits, that's just me! (Disappearer)

I know y'all are dying for the next chapter, however, if y'all will recall in the last chapter that says me and Syani are gonna be in the act as superheroes. But since I want to explain it in the conversation, it will be freaking long! So a great idea hatched up in our minds: a chapter fully dedicated to our conversation! If you think this is completely pointless, you're probably right, but for the sake of making the two OCs more interesting, here it is: 2 unnecessary origins.

…continuing their brief conversation on superheroes-on-the-set-thingy… in a lounge room with everybody sitting on sofas.

Rob: Precious, you don't look like superhero material to me, Dis. Sissy drama queen I'll believe, but not superhero, precious.

Dis: I am so a superhe… hey! Alright then, skeptic I see… well, I'll prove it to you! (jumps into a closet) Hold on a second, this'll take awhile –why is this so tight?- (shuffling, romping and bubbling noises were heard, and a small explosion followed) Hold on, let me just put this on -I'm gonna' need new gauntlets-…

…and out pops Disappearer in a tight, white rubber containment suit with a large metal casing behind his back that has steel-rimmed tubes running from it and into his strange metallic gauntlets. He had on an oversized chef's hat that covered his entire face; there were goggles around it that indicated his eyes. He has an insignia of a bowl of soup with a spoon in it on the chest of his rubber suit.

Syani: Holy catfish-and-chips, not you…

Dis: Behold! The teenage boy with the power of creating every kind of soup known to mankind and beyond, right out of his fingertips! Behold, Soup-dude!

Five awkward second later…

Rob: Wow, err… wasn't expecting… wow precious…! So, you can squirt any sort of soup out of your hands, precious?

Soup: Exactly, and it's 'right out of my fingertips', mind! For example, (grabs a bowl and spoon from a compartment in his metal casing) Plastic bowl and spoon that's naturally produced and one hundred percent biodegradable! I keep a couple o' these, because I'm a walking soup machine, ya see? (Presses a few shiny buttons on gauntlet, and some soupy brown liquid poured out of his finger and into the bowl) Have a go at my concoction Raven; you look like you could use a good feeding! (Shoves the bowl of soup into her hands)

Rae: (gives him a questioning look, but gave in) Goodbye world. (Takes a sip) Hmm… wow, this is… this is amazing. It tastes like curry, but it's creamy and has this herbal feel to it, wow… the balance is perfect and it's flowing down my throat so well! (Continues drinking the soup)

Soup: (Basks within his pride while shamelessly beaming) they seriously do not call me 'the dude of soup' for nothing, ya know! This particular soup happens to be very good for one's complexion; it gives it a glow and gets rid of fifty-percent of the skin's impurities! It's particularly good for girls, as it improves their chances of getting pregnant-

Rae: PWOOOOOFFFFFF! (Sprays soup out of throat) WWWHAT?

Soup: Yeah, it really does! This soup, which I dubbed 'Skin & Babies', increases the production of the ovum and it also encourages it's-

BB: Dude, do you realize you're about to get the biggest butt-kicking of your life by Raven? Not that ya' don't deserve it…

Soup: Butt-kicking? Why? All I gave her was healthy, delicious soup. Made with the finest ingredients I could toss in my Soupinater and a dash of T.L.C as well!

Rae: (Stops turning demonic) Wait, you think what you just did was alright?

Soup: Sure, it's not like I'm giving you alcohol or anything, that's just illegal! Besides, don't you want to have beautiful, radiant skin, and perhaps a few years later, a healthy, spunky, beautiful child of your own? (Succeeds in making Raven blush, blush, blush) (Also succeeds in making B.B mad, mad, mad)

Cy: Ladies and gents, we are looking at the future of pickin' up girls, yo'! (BB glares daggers at him) Or-maybe-we-should-leave-it-to-Soupy-here! Say Soupy, how did you get all this 'soup of justice' equipment anyway?

Soup: Well it's a long story, Cyborg, but we have a whole chapter to coffee talk about it, so I'll let you guys in on the secret! Just don't call me Soupy, I resent that. (Begins storytelling mode, no relation to Storyteller)

It all began when my auntie, who's on my daddy's side of the family, married my kooky-crazy-uncle-in-law, Uncle Bobo. He happens to be a brilliant pharmacist, herbalist and all round mad scientist. I also happen to work for him as a part-time assistant in alternating months. Fifty bucks a week, how could I resist?

Now, after months of working with the guy, he always told me to never go into the backdoor, never, or he'll feed me to his pet ginseng, I dunno' why, he just says it. Naturally, I got curious. So one night, when I was doing my night-shift, -for an extra twenty bucks-, I felt all Hindi-style-gung-ho with a flair of Orlando Bloomy-ness, and I snuck into the backdoor while Uncle Bobo was in his mad scientist laugh periods. When he does that, nothing can stop him but my auntie's rolling pin.

Where was I again? Oh yes… when I entered the forbidden backdoor, I saw what was in it: a lab, a mad scientist's lab. Filled with beakers, sneakers and all kinds of –eakers! And in the middle of the lab was a table that held the very suit that I'm wearing right now: the Soupinater. I gazed upon its white, steamed-pressed material, with only one thought burning in my mind: why would my uncle have such a dorky suit in his lab?

So it is to my greatest chagrin that my auntie was there to bonk my uncle back to reality with her portable rolling pin, and he went in his lab straight after that. I turned and I saw him with the doorknob in his hand, his eyes looking at me like I was going to burn! BURN! I felt myself getting wet with fear and anxiety, not that I really wet myself or anything, it's just… anyway, instead of feeding me to his pet ginseng like he always says, he closed the door and then he gave me the big 'speech'.

Uncle Bobo began to tell me the world –specifically, Malaysia- was beginning to rot, rot in crime, turmoil, low-quality durians and total disregard for traditional medicine! He told me that someone needs to step up, take charge and to stop all the atrocities plaguing our world. He said that he has the technology, the brains, but not the youth or energy to wear the suit. So, he said these exact words, "Boy, it is up to you to protect the world from injustice. There is no turning back; you must be the bearer of the suit."

And with that, I became the bearer. He taught me how to use the suit; he chose the power of soup because of its versatility, what? It really does work in fighting crime! I learned how to create soup and how to dish it out, in either small doses or with the force of a tsunami. Uncle Bobo also taught me a tsunami's load of philosophy in crime and super-heroism, from the Super-heroism for Dummies book. After months of hard training and rehearsals in hacking into the police crime files, I became the secret vigilante of justice, the water to flush out the shady and crime-ridden, and the soup to stir the bad guy's coop! With my trusty suit behind my small and feeble back, I became: Soup-dude!

Star: Well, slightly dorky dude of Soup friend, I must admit, your tale of origin was most enlightening and very unpleasantly nightmarish. I thank you for sharing it with us.

Soup: No problem, I think. Any who-how, what do you have to say about it, Syani? Or should I say, Firecat? (Everyone stares at a nervous-looking Syani)

Syani: Err… very unpleasantly nightmarish, with a hint of stupidity to it?

BB: Err, dude, of Soup, hey, that rhymes! (Raven eye's rolls) I thought Syani's name was well, Syani! (Syani looks around; pretending to be oblivious of what Dis is talking about)

Dis: Don't pretend to be stupid, Syani! That catnip in your pocket was a dead giveaway since chapter 1! If I've revealed my super identity, then so will you!

Syani: Oh, I wanted to keep it a low profile, but you just had to suck up in front of the Teen Titans! Fine, fine! (Engulfs herself in flames, to reveal a humanoid tiger in a blue jumpsuit and reminding Star of when she turned into a cat) Ha! My change was still cooler, and more convenient!

Rob: I know I am going to seriously regret this, precious, but how did you get into the super-heroics business?

Syani: Don't worry, Robin, it's not as dumb as Soupy's origins, so you can let go of Starfire's hand, thank you very much! (Rob blushes and releases Starfire's wanting hand) (Starts storytelling mode, no relation to Storyteller, again)

I was having a little jog around F.R.I.M, a big forest reserve in my country, thinking of more ways to booby-trap my closet from polka-dancing rats, when I heard this huge roar on the northwest side of the reserve, around five-hundred meters from my position. It was a tiger, for sure since it's the only really big cat in Malaysia. I should've had the sense to just run off screaming, but sheer curiosity and my sugar-high breakfast got the better of me.

After a lil' bit of jungle trekking and mosquito swatting, I came within sight of the tiger, and gasped: this old hag of a lady in black clothing with track pants was, shaving an unconscious tiger's back! I knew he was unconscious because later that week he asked me out on a date… (Firecat went silent to let that sink in) anyways, I hid behind a tree to get the lowdown on what's happening: that lady surely must be a bomoh or witch-doctor in the English language, and all that fur must be used for some concoction or potion-thingy.

After a little bit of that hunk of a tiger's fur was taken off of him, the bomoh walked off. Naturally, I followed her. After a while, she went into this shaggy old hut, complete with cable and a disco ball for some reason; I never asked her. I peeked through a window and she was brewing a potion with that fur. Just as she was done with it, faith just turned its ugly head at me and a snake tickled my leg! I jumped, of all places, into the window and right on the potion. I felt like my skin was twisting itself and my bones burning a fiery storm, and that's when I became a humanoid tiger.

That bomoh was furious, if you all want to visit Malaysia guys, remember to never mess with an old lady with a broomstick! After a few tense and painful moments, she made a potion to turn me back into human again. When I went back home, I realized I still had cat-like characteristics, and after a few long, tedious, experimentations, I could turn back into a humanoid tiger. Accompanying with the usual tiger-strength and claws and instincts, that potion also gave me the power to shoot flames from my mouth and, well, from the other two cheeks, heh heh…

I decided to apologize to that bomoh for causing her all that trouble. It was that very moment when I said sorry to her that I thought 'hey, I've got the body of a tiger and a mouth of a circus flame-thrower; I could make a career outta' this!' So I told her I wanted to be a circus performer! For some reason, she rolled her eyes, and told me 'cannot be circus performer-lah you! Better be a superhero-lah, pay better you know!' And so, from that day onwards, I became the guardian of tigers, the bane of injustice; from that very day, I became part fire, part tiger, and all gung-ho fighter, the one and only: FIRECAT! (Imaginary fireworks shoot out in the background, impressing absolutely no one)

Titans: Alright, aside from the weird origins, you guys were saying something about getting in the act as well, so why are we TALKING AT THE SAME TIME AGAIN?

Dis: No idea… and yes, it took me awhile to decide this, but after days of researching, Snicker Bars consuming and reading cheap Doraemon comic books, me and Syani have decided that I be a crack-pot private eye disguised as a waiter, and Syani will be a rocking D.J! And that just doesn't have the impact that I was looking for…

Firecat: Wait, we didn't think that one up together, you did.

Soup: Oh yeah, more credit for me then, yay! (Firecat's mouth starts to smoke) Never mind, never mind, fifty-fifty-split-way-credit then… (Firecat's mouth stops smoking) Wait, before we end this pointless excuse of a chapter, there's still one more thing to announce.

Dramatic pause…

Soup: The hero that gets to play as the Royal Advisor is… LARRY THE TITAN!

Rob: (twitches, twitches, twitches) La-la-la-lar…lar-lar-lar-lar… The-the T-T-TITAN, precious, LARRY THE TITAN! LARRY-LARRY-LARRY-LARRY, precious, THE TITAN!

Firecat: Holy crap, he didn't… he did… (The transformation begins once again) and here we go- INCOMING! (Dodges a stray bird-a-rang thrown by a Gollumized Robin)


Firecat: Thank goodness for oversized sofas! (Everyone else but Gollum boy bunks behind a large sofa with everyone else but Rob stink-eyeing Soupy) While we try to subdue Robin and turn him back into his old psychotic-self, remember to catch our next chapter where we'll be revealing why Larry got the part and the role of King Bruce, it's not who you're expecting, but expect the expected!

Rob: (On all fours with the Gollum voice, throwing everything in his utility belt) IS IT THE PRECIOUS SLADE, FURRY MASTER? IS IT, PRECIOUS?

Firecat: Umm…no.