As Lovers Go
Written by: .Rain
Author's Note: I know I have been gone for a long time and that I have promised a new update a few weeks ago, but I lost those 7 pages somewhere in my room and have just now found them. Sorry.-AbC-
Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next
I Dare You to Move - Switchfoot
(This takes place two years after Sasuke decided to join Orochimaru.)
What I have learned from watching the girls jump from one guy to another is that committing and falling in love is like being Alice herself; jumping into the rabbit hole with eyes wide open into chaos. That's the last thing I would want. Having to jump into a big hole and come out changed. Look at my cousin Mina. She found love in every guy she had been with, and trust me that's a lot of guys. Every year she's becoming more desperate and tired; wanting something that doesn't even exist. Sooner or later, she'll understand. Love is weak. We are not weak.
But the more I turn away from that hole, the more I realize I'm becoming more like my sister - who is cold, unfeeling and deadly. I'm her shadow. Something else I don't want. The only thing that makes us very different from each other are my comrades, whom I would give my life for. I know what you're thinking. A ninja can't have feelings or risk their lives for another. All that matters is the mission and nothing else. A ninja has no life of their own, but the life of the one they must protect, right? Well, I'm not breaking any rules as a ninja. I haven't risked my life for anyone unless it benefits to my mission and I have no life of my own. My life is to protect the Sound and to do what Oro ji-san wishes to be done. So I'm no 'ninja gone bad.' Not yet, anyway.
As I was growing up with Oro ji-san as my father figure, I was trained and taught to be much more deadly than my older sister Yukiko, who is 10 years older than me. The Mist thought of me as no threat to them. They believed they had the true Lunarian in their hands. But to their surprise, when I turned 15 years old, I became just as deadly. I soon became her rival - her shadow.
I never could really understand her. Any young girl would have been flattered and maybe proud to know their little sister wanted to be just like them when they grow up, but not her. She hated me. She wanted nothing to do with me and when we had to spar, she had the intent to kill in her mind.
Oro ji-san once told me she was just jealous of the power I'm gaining through my bloodline. But shouldn't Yukiko gain that same power too? Don't we share that same bloodline? Kabuto-kun said it was the jealousy of my mother's love. I really don't understand. I don't even remember my mother, except for the scent of vanilla. Growing up, I had so many questions, but many of them remained unanswered. Hopefully, as I continue to grow I will one day know who I really am.
So there I was, almost reaching the big two-zero, listening to the water slide down my naked body to the white tiled floor. I just stood there, feeling the heat on my cold pale skin, trying to loosen up my muscles from all the training that had been done that morning. That was my favorite past time: taking a hot shower in silence until I pruned up.
As I was enjoying my time alone, I heard a knock coming from the door. "Serena, hurry up! We were supposed to meet Kabuto-kun five minutes ago!" Mina yelled from behind the door.
Well, there went my alone time. "Give me a minute!" I yelled back.
From what I've been told, Mina is my cousin from my mother's, father's side. People have told us how we could have probably passed for twins if I wasn't so pale and tired looking and we're much too different. Mina is a flirt and very self-conceited. She has probably bedded half the population of men from the many different countries we have traveled in and to be honest, I'm not too sure if I'm exaggerating. For myself, I don't care much about my own looks and I haven't slept around - much.
Yet at the same time, if you really knew us and if you look really close, you would probably think we're exactly the same. Mina and I share the same pain and if you look hard enough you can almost see that pain in our eyes.
We both know nothing of our past, as if all that memory from our childhood had been sucked out from our brains. -Pause- and it hurts, you know? To not know whom you really are, but only know what you were told.
We were so good at hiding that pain and masking it away before anyone could sense it. We both had different ways in doing so.
Mina hid her pain through men. When people would see her out there crying in the rain their first thought would be, 'Oh, probably another jerk. No big deal. Tomorrow she'll be up and happy again.' But when I saw her, I knew different. Those tears that blended with the rain were never because of men. That was just her excuse, but I knew better. How? I knew because I felt the same pain, every day since I was six years old. Yet, I never dared to cry. No - never. Instead, I would sometimes stand out in the rain beside Mina and let her and the Angels cry for me. When I train, the sweat and blood are my tears, and when I kill - that is the only real time I let my emotions overcome me. But I never feel sad, instead I feel angry.
Angry, because my memories are the only key to tell me who I really am, to fill that emptiness inside of me. But for now, I only have one clue, and that's a pretty little necklace of a leaf. I found it in the pocket of my pink skirt after I woke up screaming for my father, but instead I had Oro ji-san rushing into my room to ask me what was wrong. I couldn't remember anything; I couldn't even remember who I was or my name. It was as if I was a newborn child, breathing my first breath of life. Of course, I never showed Oro ji-san the necklace I found in my pocket after he explained to me how he hated the Leafs and anything that had to do with them, and I knew he would have taken it away from me if he had known. It was the only thing I had from my father, or I think it was from my father, after all it said, 'To Serena, Princess of Konoha. Love, Dad.'
Once I got on the clothes, we called rag sacks; I stepped out of my room to find her impatiently waiting for me.
"Took you long enough." She said, with her arms crossed against her chest and tapping her toe in a fast pace. She had a serious look on her face, but only to quickly replace it with a teasing grin.
I sighed, wishing I was back in the shower, as she grabbed one of my hands and dragged me quickly towards Kabuto-kun's lab. "Hurry, I'm already getting the jitters."
So dark... Why are my dreams always so dark? I wish - I wish I can dream of good things again. I wish I could have my Papa back. I wish so many things, yet all I get is darkness. Is this the path I must follow? Is Oro ji-san right about who and what I am? Am I that child who will bring darkness over the lands? How can I control the monster growing inside me? How can I fight this darkness that is seeping through my child-like heart?
These are the questions I always ask myself, as I sit in the darkness of my room, staring a hole through the wall in front of me.
Not wanting to stay locked up in my room anymore I stood up and left. Walking aimlessly through the halls I soon found myself in front of a large metal-like door. I tried opening it, but found it locked. That didn't stop me though.
I touched the door gently and watched as a dark shade of glowing purple surrounded my hand until I finally heard a click. Slowly, I opened the door and found that it was a large chamber where the other girls would train. Something Serena-neechan didn't want me to do. When I asked her why, she would just give me this sad smile and say, 'you have something very special. Something the girls and I wish we still have. I don't want you to lose that. Not yet.'
The room was still fresh with the smell of death. There were puddles of blood everywhere. There was even blood dripping from bent poles and the walls were badly dented.
Seeing all the blood; I somehow started to lose my breath. I felt my chest beginning to tighten and I could clearly hear my heart beating ever so slowly. What was happening? Why does this always happen when I see so much blood? Am I cursed? Then I saw black and I welcomed it.
Passing by her father's room, Hotaru heard a loud grunt and some rustling sound of struggle coming from his room. Curious as to what he might be doing, she knocked on the door lightly. When she heard nothing coming from inside, she slowly opened the door and walked in. "Tousan?"
Just as she was about to reach out for the light, she heard her father croak out, "No, Hotaru. Please, leave the lights off."
"But tousan, I can't see." She said, as she tried to make her way towards his bed.
"I know child, but my eyes hurt." He replied, still lying on the bed.
She began to reach out towards his face, "I can heal -"
"No!" He yelled out, as his arm shut out, gripping her wrists firmly, before her hands got a chance to touch him.
She staggered back in fear, but her father still held her wrists.
He pulled her closer, just enough to hear him whisper. "Go to the Kage, Hotaru. Stay there. You understand?"
Hotaru was now in tears. She was only five years old and everything was just going too fast for her to understand the situation. She didn't want to leave her Papa behind, but if she didn't do as her father had asked, she would probably be punished for not being obedient.
She whimpered, as she nodded her head silently, forgetting that her Papa couldn't see her. When he gently let go of her wrist, she slowly stepped back and was about to make a run for it outside to call for someone when someone turned on the light.
The bright light was a big surprise since her violet eyes had already been adjusted to the dark. She squinted her eyes as she brought her hand up to shield herself from the brightness. Everything was so blurry at first, but as her eyesight slowly became clear the first thing she saw was the color red. Red splashes everywhere, and they were not paint; they were blood.
Hotaru's eyes grew wide in realization. All this blood must have belonged to her father, but how? Blood was everywhere: splashed onto the wall; puddles on the floor. Everything screamed and smelled cold-blooded murder. Scared and shaken, she slowly turned around to face her father, only to find both his eyes had been scratched out. Her mouth suddenly dropped open to let out a loud hurtling scream.
"Hotaru? You turned on the lights, didn't you? I told you to run." Her now blind father hissed in anger and in pain. This was something he never wanted. He didn't want her last memory of him to be this painful.
"Actually, I was the one who turned on the light. My apologies." A voice mocked from behind Hotaru, but she couldn't move to find out who was behind her. She was frozen in fear. The last thing she saw before she welcomed the darkness was her father with guts almost hanging out a bit and contorted eyes that bled a river of tears.
I woke up startled by the dream - a dream that had been haunting me for the past eight years, and realized I was in Kabuto-kun's medic room, right next to his lab. I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep, but it couldn't have been that long.
I lay still on the flat of my back, staring up at the plain ceiling. I needed to regain my strength, before I decided to get out of bed. Then again, I thought it would be best if I stayed in bed until Kabuto retired to his room. I just didn't have the energy to deal with his lectures again.
Kabuto-kun and Serena-neechan - they both acted as if they were my parents, but I don't blame them. They did practically raise me themselves. Mina-chan and the rest couldn't care less. Although, Mina-chan does watch my back every now and then when I really need it.
After a few minutes of staring up at the dirty ceiling, I heard a groan coming from a bed beside mine. I couldn't tell who occupied it since there was a blue curtain separating us, so I decided to go over there and see for myself.
A small tiny smile played on my pale lips, remembering how Serena-neechan would always lecture about how curiosity killed the cat. Of course, I would always reply with, "Good thing I'm not a cat then, huh Serena-neechan?"
I finally sat up only to feel a certain discomfort on my left arm. I looked down to my arm sleepily, to find an IV was hooked up and was feeding me some liquid solution to keep me from being dehydrated through a stupid needle. Not really bothered by this, since this is a regular past time of mine whenever I feel somewhat fatigued, I carelessly took it off and walked up to the blue curtain.
With every step I took, I started to feel a certain heavy feeling on my gut. It was as if all my pain and loneliness had just doubled over.
Slowly, I moved the curtain aside and found a handsome young boy around my age, sleeping with a look of discomfort registered on his face. He had a large cut on his forehead and on his bottom lip, along with a bruise on his cheek close to his left eye. It seemed he tried to get more than he could handle during training, but who is he? I have never seen him here before.
I stepped back in surprise when he groaned in his sleep again. Suddenly, for some reason, I fell into some sort of trance - watching his smooth pale face and bruised pale lips. I felt the need to take that pain away.
I lifted my now glowing hand and slowly leaned in closer towards the boy, scared that with any sudden movement he might disappear. Just as I was about to touch his cut lip, I felt someone grab my wrist painfully.
"What are you doing?"
Surprised, I came out from my daze and found the boy staring right at me with painful red eyes, but there was something in those eyes that reminded me of someone. "Your eyes..." I softly said, still unsure with what I was trying to say, but before I could consider continuing, another voice called out to me nearby.
Author's Note: Ok, I am working on the next chapter for this. You can say I have written, like I have said before, 7 pages and I have almost concluded that chapter. Just reminding you all that this is a work in progress and there might be a few changes in the future, but don't worry I will make sure to let you know. There will be times when I will be putting this on hold since I also would like to continue my Sailor Moon/Harry Potter fiction. :
Please review and tell me what you think. If there is any corrections I need to make, please let me know and if there is anything you would like to suggest – well, suggest away.
I hope you have enjoyed my fiction so far.