Disclaimer: I own nothing that is recognizable to the naked eye.

Idiots

The place was perfect everything was in place for the final showdown between the light and the dark...

Voldemort on one side while Harry on the other side of a floating platform.

Death Eaters and Order members fighting for survival below the floating stage.

Voldemort: I'll not give you an easy time. This time Pauper!

Harry: Its Potter not Pauper! You dumb ass!

Voldemort: I certainly am not a dumb ass.

Harry: Yes you are!

Voldemort: No I'm not!

Harry: Yes!

Voldemort: No!

Harry: Yes!

Voldemort: No!

Harry: Shut up!

Voldemort: Why not!

Harry: ...

Voldemort: ...

Down below...

Death Eater: I wonder what's happening up there?

Order member: Hmm, I wonder...

Everyone stops to listen and stare.

Back up...

Voldemort noticing the staring people: And what in the name of candy canes are you

staring at?

Harry: You like candy canes?

Voldemort: Yes!

Harry unbelieving: No.

Voldemort pulls out one : Yes! See watch as I eat this one right here!

Harry: Nooooooooooooooooooo!

Voldemort swallows candy : Yummy! Yummy!

Harry continues: Noooooooooooooo!

Voldemort irritated at Harry's long 'NO': What's wrong with you now?

Harry: You said you'd bring chocolate.

Voldemort: When?

Harry: In our meeting of minds.

Voldemort: Oh yeah. Sorry bout that must have slipped my mind.

Harry: WAHHHHHHHH!

Voldemort: Uh oh.

Down below...

Dumbledore hearing Harry's cry of anguish/ shout: Quickly Harry needs our help!

Death Eaters: Oh shit.

Order member 1: Give me an H!

Order members: H!

Order member 2: Give me an A!

Order members: A!

Order member 3: Give me an R!

Order members: R!

Order member 4: Give me another R!

Death Eaters: R!

Order members: What the...

Death Eaters: Whupz...

Order member 5: Give me a Y!

Order members: Y!

Death Eaters: WE DONT KNOW!

Dumbledore: SHUT UP YOU

Order member 6: What's that spell?

Order members: HARRY! GO HARRY! GO HARRY!

Death Eaters: Groan...

Malfoy Sr. : We weren't going to use this but you asked for it Dumbledore. Death Eaters

begin!

Death Eater 1: Give me a Y!

Death Eaters: Y!

Death Eater 2: Give me an M!

Death Eaters: M!

Death Eater 3: Give me a C!

Death Eaters: C!

Death Eater 4: Give me an A!

Death Eaters: A!

Death Eater 5: What's that spell!

Death Eaters begin to sing and dance: Y.M.C.A. ! Y.M.C.A. ! (continue singing)

Since the song and dance is so catchy the Order joins in, Dumbledore included.

Back up...

Harry stopped crying: Hey Tom check this out.

Voldemort: What?

Harry: Just take a look.

Voldemort stands beside Harry and watches: Interesting...

Harry: Don't you mean entertaining?

Voldemort: Same thing.

Harry: Quite.

Voldemort: I think we should postpone our final battle. What do you think?

Harry: Only if you buy me some M&M's.

Voldemort: Ok. So how does next year same time same place sound?

Harry: Sounds good to me.

Voldemort: maybe next year the Order will have taken dancing lessons.

Harry: Yeah Dumbledore sure looks like a dork on the dance floor.

Voldemort: Oh My GOD. The Great Harry Potter just called Dumbledore a dork.

Harry: Are you sure you're not gay?

Voldemort: Where's you sense of humor?

Harry: At the chocolate shop.

Voldemort: Oh, right then. Come on. Let's go get some chocolate.

Harry: Yeah!

Voldemort: Afterwards you can treat me to some Starbucks.

Harry: Fine by me.

Both champions of the light and dark leave the scene, their absence being noticed only by one.

Peter Pettigrew: Umm, you know that they've already left?

Malfoy Sr. having fun: Who?

Peter: The Dark Lord and Potter.

Malfoy Sr. : So?

Peter: Don't you care?

Malfoy Sr. : Not really.

Someone bought some alcoholic beverages. People start drinking and singing and dancing to all sorts of song.

Somewhere in the crowd...

Severus Snape: Hey there beautiful. Wanna dance?

Narcissa Malfoy: No.

Severus pulls on her arm: Come on baby. Just one dance.

Malfoy Sr. sees them: LET GO AND GET AWAY FROM MY WIFE YOU BIG

GREASY HAIRED GIT!

Severus lets go and turns to Malfoy Sr.

Severus: And what pray tell are you gonna do to me now you blond haired airhead?

Draco Malfoy point wand at Snape: Locomotor Mortis!

Snape gets hit. All Hell breaks loose.

Starbucks, somewhere in London...

Voldemort: Yummy! Hot Chocolate!

Harry: We should do this again sometime.

Voldemort: I agree.

Both continue to enjoy they chocolate delights. Oblivious to the ensuing chaos at the scene of the supposed final battle/party grounds.

a/n THE END for now

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