It's official! I don't own any X-Men Evolution; GI Joe or anything connected with the Super Bowl. For those of you that are not familiar with the Super Bowl, (All three of you) it's the USA's most popular 'unofficial' holiday. Mainly because it's a great excuse to eat and drink and act like an idiot for no reason at all. Not to mention cause a few riots even though people shouldn't cause riots. No wonder I thought of these guys when I was watching the game.
"I must admit Charles this was a good idea for our kids," Cover Girl said as she helped set up the buffet for the X-Mansion's Super Bowl party. "Having a Misfits and X-Men get together is a great idea." Most of the X-Adults and the Misfit handlers were prepping the living room for the game.
"Except for our carpet when they're finished," Logan grumbled.
"Well there's nothing like having a small party over for the biggest game of the year to try and make you forget how mind numbingly dull January was," Hank told them as he put down another bowl full of chips on the table.
"With our kids going crazy it wasn't that dull," Cover Girl said.
"Man I thought we'd never see the end of January," Low Light grunted as he prepared a huge washtub full of root beer, sodas and ice.
"I agree," Xavier said. "Between the snowstorms and the mutant bans among Bayville life at the Institute has become rather…confining to say the least. I just hope that they don't get carried away rooting for their teams."
"Fat chance!" Logan scoffed.
"The only thing the kids really care about is the food," Hank shook his head. "Not to mention have another excuse to fight with each other."
"Hey guys help me set up this VCR thing," Shipwreck called out. "I wanna tape the halftime show! Maybe they'll be a bigger wardrobe malfunction this year!"
"Can't be as bad as your brain malfunction!" Cover Girl snapped. "How can you not know how to work a VCR? I mean what, they've only been around since the eighties!"
"Hey guys," Forge walked in. "The touch football game outside is getting a little out of hand."
"All right who's doing what?" Low Light sighed.
"Well for one thing Trinity is giving new meaning to the term contact sport," Forge told him. "Scott and Lance are living up to the term 'unnecessary roughness."
"How many fistfights have they gotten into?" Xavier asked.
"Three and a half," Forge said. "Bobby decided to cover them in snow mid punch. Then some of the kids decided to have a decorating contest. Kitty will show you the pictures later."
"Speaking of pictures," Shipwreck said as he still fiddled with the VCR. "I wonder if you can transfer them from the TV to wallet size?"
"Shipwreck will you give your libido a rest for one night?" Ororo snapped.
"He can't even control it for one hour," Cover Girl told her. "I swear the last Super Bowl he wore the tape he made of the halftime show out. In under two days!"
"And you always made fun of me when I did videotape the bowl for the past three years," Shipwreck grinned. "That paid off big time!"
"Well don't expect to strike gold again this year," Ororo warned him.
"Besides the whole league has clamped down tight on the network," Forge said. "There's not gonna be anything."
"Just help me here! They always get some great shots of cheerleaders!" Shipwreck said.
"Now you're talking," Forge said as he went to help him.
"The man has a point," Logan shrugged as he followed.
"And then there are the more mature viewers," Ororo sighed. "Hank can you believe…? Hank?"
"See gentlemen?" Hank was with the small group around the VCR. "It's the red button that helps you set the time to record."
"Goddess give me strength…" Ororo put her hand to her head.
Roadblock wheeled out a huge barrel full of something smoking. "All right, it's finally ready! Roadblock's Special Five-Alarm Chili! It's not hot, it's atomic!"
"Why is it in a haz-mat barrel?" Logan blinked.
"Because it's the only thing strong enough to hold it," Low Light grinned. "Trust me on this."
"All right!" Cover Girl grinned. "Now we are talking party here! Just uh, don't give it to the babies this time Shipwreck?"
"For the last time I didn't give it to them, they tricked me into that closet and they took it!" Shipwreck snapped. "They're getting to be tricky little devils."
"Wanna sample some chili Logan?" Cover Girl asked as she got him some. "Careful, it's hot."
"I think I can handle it," Logan grinned as he took a bite. Immediately his eyes started to water. "GAHHHHHH!"
"It is a bit spicy isn't it?" Shipwreck said as he gulped some down.
"AHHHHH!" Logan shouted as he grabbed mouthfuls of ice and shoved them in to his mouth. "Man that's good chili…"
"You want some Xavier?" Shipwreck asked. Then he looked down. "Roadblock, you'd better get a couple more ladles. The first one dissolved already."
"Uh…No thank you," Xavier winced.
A few hours later the students were getting ready to watch the big game. "Oh man this is gonna be a great game!" Sam cheered.
"I'm just glad to be watching anything on TV that isn't about mutants," Rahne said.
"Amen to that," Todd said. "Have noticed now on nearly every detective show they have at least one episode where the criminals are all mutants?"
"That's nothing," Tabitha waved. "Nearly every rapper has at least one anti-mutant song and they play 'em at least twenty times on MTV."
"Let's just forget about that and watch the game," Scott said putting on a Patriots jersey.
"Yeah this is…" Lance remarked. He was also wearing a Patriots jersey. He and Scott looked at each other. "Oh great…"
"Oh my god," Pietro mocked. "It's the first sign of the Apocalypse!"
"SHUT UP!" Both boys snapped at him. They looked at each other. "Don't say…Stop talking at the same time! No you stop talking…Rutabaga!"
"Wow that is scary," Arcade said. He was wearing a Patriots jersey.
"I told you they were alike," Xi said.
"WE ARE NOT!" Scott and Lance shouted. "STOP THAT!"
"And to think Jinx is missing this," Cover Girl chuckled as she shook her head. "Too bad she's on an undercover assignment at the game."
"What's she doing there?" Jean asked. She was wearing an Eagles Jersey.
"Oh just making sure former presidents Bush and Clinton are okay," Logan waved. "They're at the game too."
"You are a lucky man my friend," Roadblock grinned.
"So who is playing again and why is this game so important?" Rina asked. "Explain this to me."
"The New England Patriots of the American Football Conference League are playing the Philadelphia Eagles of the National Football Conference League," Scott explained.
"I thought they were both part of something called the NFL?" Rina asked.
"They are," Scott told her. "The National Football League. They're kind of like rival teams."
"You mean like the Misfits and the X-Men?" Xi asked.
"Yeah, but with a lot fewer explosions," Bobby said.
"Each year the best team of each league plays off against each other and they're the champions," Scott continued. "You follow me so far?"
"What's to follow? It's the biggest best football game in the world!" Fred crowed.
"Not where I'm from," Roberto pointed out. "Or pretty much everywhere else in the world for that matter."
"Yeah but American Football is more fun," Fred said. "You get to beat people up."
"You do not beat people up in football," Ray said. "Tackle them yes. Have more than one guy jump on top of another guy in order to crush him and try and break his legs, yes. Crash your head into your opponent's head obviously. There's the occasional grabbing of masks, legs and arms. But you don't beat people up."
"Oh yes, there's a subtle difference Ray," Tabitha scoffed.
"All I know is that the Super Bowl is the best," Kurt gulped down some chicken wings. "I think it's better than the World Series!"
"Oh what do you know? You don't even watch football most of the year!" Scott snapped.
"No, but I do eat during the year," Kurt quipped. "And the food at Super Bowl parties is really good! Pass me the pepperoni chips Kitty."
"Is that what these are?" Kitty was horrified. "I've had at least three handfuls of them!"
"More like a bowlful of 'em," Rogue scoffed.
"It's not funny Rogue!" Kitty snapped. "I'm a vegetarian! I don't eat meat!"
"Well you're okay then," Todd said. "Technically pepperoni isn't meat. It's just made out of fat and hooves and tails and hair and…"
"EWWWWW! I'M GONNA THROW UP!" Kitty screamed as she ran to the bathroom.
Meanwhile Jubilee and Trinity were having a spirited debate. "The Eagles have the cutest butts!" Jubilee shouted.
"No way! The Patriots have the cutest butts!" Trinity shouted.
"Now, I am going to go throw up…" Ray got up.
"Eagles!" Barney threw up his hands happily. He was wearing an Eagles jersey.
"Touchdown!" Claudius threw up his flippers. He was wearing a Patriots jersey.
"They look pretty cute dressed like that," Lina said.
Then the two babies started to wrestle with each other. "Yeah, adorable…" Althea groaned.
"Let 'em fight," Todd said. "Maybe this way we can predict who's gonna win the game?"
"That is without a doubt the sickest thing I have ever heard," Rogue looked at him.
"Yeah especially since Claudie has an advantage which means the Patriots are gonna win anyway," Arcade said.
"The heck he does!" Rogue snapped. "Get 'em Barney! Bring pride to the Eagles! Yeah! That's the way to knock him down! Now peck his butt!"
"No way! Little C use your flippers!" Lance called out.
"Lance don't encourage…" Jean began. Then Barney pushed Claudius back. "Okay, Barney wins, the fight is over!"
"Oh no it is not!" Scott snapped. "Get him!" Soon all the kids were cheering on the babies knocking each other around.
"Shouldn't you stop this?" Ororo asked Shipwreck.
"Oh come on, those two wrestle all the time. See, Barney's not even using his beak!" Shipwreck waved.
"They could hurt each other," Ororo said. She went to intervene.
"They're playing! See they're laughing," Shipwreck said.
"Boys! No! No fighting! OW!" Ororo yelled as Barney accidentally pecked her hand with his beak.
"I told you not to interfere," Shipwreck shook his head.
"Excuse me," Hank waved. "I believe the game has started."
"Not now!" Lance waved. The kids were watching the babies fight. "It's just starting to get good!"
"Oh dear…" Xavier sighed. "And so a new dynasty begins…"
"Let 'em fight," Roadblock whispered to him. "You know the drill, same as last year."
"You mean sneak off downstairs and drink while watching the game locked away in the war room?" Ororo asked holding her hand.
"That's the one," Logan said. The students were not only egging on the babies, they were having a food fight amongst themselves.
"Well who are we to break with tradition?" Xavier sighed as the adults quietly snuck away.