Chapter 11: Pulling Him Closer
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J. , not me!
It had been a long week since I'd found out Ron left again. It had been a long week full of unwanted tears and scolding myself for being such a prat. For thinking that Ron had changed and that even if he hadn't I could somehow remold him into the boy I'd loved all those years ago, before the war.
It was Friday and I was sitting alone in my apartment after work contemplating whether or not I wanted a salad or noodles for dinner, what a life. Jen had of course asked me to go out to dinner with her and David (yes he was still around), but I truly didn't feel like being a third wheel. I told Jen I had tons of cleaning to do and that I would talk to her Saturday. We both knew I could use a few quick spells and have my small apartment cleaned in two minutes, but for once Jen didn't say anything or protest. She knew that I needed to be left alone for the time being. I picked up Crookshanks gingerly and scratched him behind his ears just like he loved.
"You won't ever leave me will you baby?" I asked him. His eyes rested on mine reassuringly and I felt myself smile for the first time that day, he always seemed so humanlike and able to understand all that I said.
I heard a loud pop outside my apartment door and I nearly dropped Crookshanks out of fright. A second later there came a knock on my door. My heart leapt, could it really be...
I threw Crookshanks down on the couch roughly (receiving a disgruntled look from him) and walked swiftly to the door while trying to do the impossible and flatten my bushy hair. I pulled open the light oak door to find myself looking at the person that I so dearly needed to see, knowing that I shouldn't desire to see him at all. I nearly smiled before remembering the past week of crying over him and forced my mouth into a straight line.
"Yes?" I said monotonously. He smiled toothily at me and I couldn't believe it. What gave him the right to smile at me? Not only had he been seeing another girl a mere week after we'd kissed (granted I ran out on him) but he also left again. Just left.
"Hey Hermione," Ron responded softly, "Can I come in?" He was wearing a jumper that looked relatively new and like something Mrs. Weasley would make. I then noticed that he was carrying the jacket I had left at his place that day two weeks ago that he'd had that girl in his apartment.
"I suppose, but only for a minute, I have somewhere I have to be." I said firmly, knowing that I had absolutely nowhere to be tonight or for that matter the next few hundred nights. He walked inside my apartment and threw my coat down over a chair and sat down at my round kitchen table.
"Er...do you have anything to drink?" he asked cautiously. I glared at him and grabbed my wand conjuring up a small mug of butterbeer and slamming it in front of him. He looked mildly alarmed at my rudeness, he didn't even seem to know that I was angry and extremely put off that he had just showed up on my doorstep after we hadn't spoken in weeks. "Better yet have you had anything to drink?" he said while raising his eyebrows.
"So where did you go this time?" I blurted out, unable to help myself. "Don't tell me you had to get away again?" I added sardonically.
"Mione…what are -"
"You know what I'm talking about! I talked to your neighbor Geraldine," I yelled.
"Oh... that," he said, shaking his head with embarrassment. I was so enraged I couldn't even find words to reply with. Why in Merlin's name was he still smiling?
"I well... I thought it was time I visited my family, seen as I haven't seen them in years. I was really only going to go for a day or two but you know my mum; after she was done crying all over me for a bit she said I was looking peaky and that I needed feeding up," he grinned at me and seeing that I wasn't about to return his gesture he wiped the smile off his face before continuing. "I couldn't dare deny my mum the chance to cook for me when I'd been gone for so long. It's the least I could do. I've been a horrible son and you've made me realize how selfish I've been. I also thought she should be the first to know of my intentions of marrying you," his ears and neck turned pink at this point and he raked his hand through his already tousled hair nervously. "That's another reason I had to go back to the Burrow. I wasn't leaving again Hermione, I couldn't."
I was irritated beyond belief. Did he say his intentions of marrying me? Who was he kidding, he couldn't commit to anything or anyone. Not to mention the fact that I would never marry him after all the trouble he's caused, and if he thinks I will then he's mistaken.
"Marrying me? Weren't you the person who not but two weeks ago had another woman walking around your apartment in an undersized skirt and jumper?" he blushed and seemed to be thinking of the best way to explain himself.
"Mora and I are over," he said simply.
I let out a shriek of rage before stomping past him and out of my apartment, through the lobby of the building and outside where the sky was rumbling and rain was falling. Yes I ran outside of my own residence, I have no idea what was going through my head. My feelings and thoughts were not very rational at that point. I wanted to smash something yet at the same time I also wanted to cry at my own stupidity, either way I was distraught. Who was I kidding; of course I wanted to be with Ron, we had always been meant for each other. If only he hadn't began dating that other girl. It was all fine and well that they broke up, but how could he date someone so close to when he had kissed me? The fact that he had begun to date someone else infuriated me and seemed to make things between Ron and I twenty times more complicated. There was no denying it though; I desperately wanted to work things out between Ron and myself. Maybe if I simply went somewhere private and thought this all through a solution to everything would present itself, a simple and painless solution to fix everything that had occurred since the war started. Or possibly if I was just any other girl I could forget the past and march right back upstairs and simply show Ron how I really felt. I blushed at the thought and dismissed the idea entirely. I wasn't about to change myself for others. Yes, if I can fix all of my and Ron's problems since the war including that scarlet woman; then, then maybe we could be together and be happy. Happy, that was an adjective that most certainly did not describe me for the past few years. I almost couldn't remember what happy felt like.
I was pacing back and forth on the sidewalk in front of my apartment building and becoming more wet from the weather with each passing moment. I needed somewhere out of the rain and distant from Ron to think out everything that needed to be fixed. I took one last look at my tall apartment building, closed my eyes, and began to think of my three D's. I was about to apparate to Jen's house when I felt a hand grab my shoulder and spin me around, breaking my concentration.
Ron was standing in front of me looking determined and down right handsome. He was biting his bottom lip as if to ready himself for what he was about to do. I found myself watching each drop of rainwater drip down from his long nose, and then I looked up and examined how both his hair and eyes were intense with life. When he stepped closer to me I wanted to back away but I couldn't, I found myself rooted to the spot in which I was standing. He grabbed the sides of my face with his cold hands and kissed me as hard as he could, causing my knees to buckle and a shiver to run down my spine. It continued to rain, but not like in a romance movie that my mum would watch; the rain was falling so hard that each drop stung my skin. I shoved him in his chest roughly and he stumbled backward. I realized my whole body was shaking and that I was about as composed as Ron would have been back before a quidditch match at Hogwarts.
I brought my trembling fingers up to my mouth slowly. I touched my fingertips to my lips and raised my eyes to lock on Ron's. He took one determined and confident stride back toward me and brought us together once more. He grabbed me around my waist and kissed me forcibly yet somehow tenderly. I didn't push him away this time. In that moment it occurred to me that maybe there wasn't a solution to everything. That every happening, especially love, doesn't require a nice and quiet room to think out every aspect of a relationship and what its faults may be. It was as if Ron's lips on mine were causing me to have an epiphany of some sort. Maybe I simply had to let go of the past, to allow Ron's love to take me away from all of lives problems.
I felt myself, as if I wasn't really Hermione Jane Granger, putting my arms around Ron's neck and pulling him closer to me. My wet blouse and his soaked jumper stuck together, our bodies were so close, and it felt so bloody brilliant. I broke our kiss and looked up into his blue eyes lovingly. All I could think about was how I was no longer alone, how I never would be again.
"What did I do to make you look at me that way?" he murmured through his swollen lips, looking slightly taken aback by the look of intensity in my eyes.
"You loved me Ron. You loved me," and I kissed him. I grabbed the collar of his jumper and kissed him. I wasn't worrying about what would happen the next day or the day after that, I was thinking about how his lips felt on mine. So what if the rain didn't stop for us in that glorious moment. As I've always said: the rain seems to wash away all the hurt and filth in the world just as it was doing now, washing away all the hurt I'd ever felt and leaving me with something beautiful. Anyway, I rather like the rain.
A/N: Fin! I really hope you liked it…I wanted the ending to be more than romance- I hoped it to also be of Hermione just finally letting go and realizing that sometimes things don't have a reason for happening or existing. So anyhow, thanks again for all of your reviews and patience with this story, you have no idea how much it meant to me :)