Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Inuyasha. Dammit. Plot belongs at least partly to me (yay), but mainly to William Shakespeare, who was either being brilliant or on some serious shit when he wrote this thing. Or both. Any way, it's one of his best.
A/N: AAAAH! Inuyasha fanfic! Except this time I was watching 'A Midsummer Night's Dream,' and now I can't get the 'two couples mixed up' scenario out of my head! Sorry for all you Shakespeare and/or Inuyasha die-hards out there if I mangle this too badly, i.e. some OOC activity. I plead creative license and apologize in advance. Be prepared for more of this sort of madness with other weird juxtapositions; I can't control myself. Enjoy!
"Sesshoumaru-sama!" Jaken gasped, running as fast as he could through the woods. "Sesshoumaru-samaaaa!"
He stumbled over a root and went tumbling through the underbrush; it was a mark of how terrified he was that he jumped up and kept running, despite the thorns that now porcupined him. "Sesshoumaru-sama!"
"Jaken, if you've got something to say, spit it out before I lose my patience," a cold, regal voice ordered above him. Belatedly, the squat creature realized that his feet were no longer touching the ground; an elegantly clawed hand held him suspended by the scruff of his robe.
"Sesshoumaru-sama," Jaken panted, "it's that… that… wind witch!"
The tall, silver-haired youkai that had hold of his servant narrowed his eyes, though still managing to be expressionless. "Kagura."
"She… she… she…"
"Oh, catch your breath. Where's Rin?"
"That's… what I… came to tell… you… about!"
Sesshomaru's cold golden eyes froze into diamond-hard yellow stars. Without another word, he turned and strode back toward the direction Jaken had come from.
"For your sake, I hope she hasn't harmed a hair on that girl's head," the inu-youkai told the creature dangling miserably from his fist.
"Ooooh!" Rin squealed, gazing captivated at the miniature whirlwind dancing across Kagura's palms. "Can Rin-chan have one?"
The wind witch smiled. "They aren't for keeping, but you can hold it if you want." At the little girl's enthusiastic nod, Kagura nudged the mini-cyclone out of her own hands and into Rin's cupped ones.
Then, while the child was preoccupied, Kagura deftly wove an invisible cage of air around Rin's small body. It wouldn't hurt her, or really imprison her in any way—but if Kagura didn't want her to see or hear something, she wouldn't.
That little precaution proved timely; seconds after she'd bespelled the girl, Kagura's sharp ears picked up the sound of a fast-approaching—and probably royally pissed off—inu-youkai.
The wind witch smiled. Sesshoumaru, at whom she was looking, did not.
"Give her back now, Kagura," he said flatly.
Her smile sweetened, and her eyes gleamed wickedly. "Oh, don't get so worked up, Fluffy. I'm not going to hurt her. Sweet little thing, isn't she?"
"Kagura, I'm warning you—"
She cut him off, relishing his expression as she did so. He was remarkably difficult to tease; this time, though, she had him. "I thought she might like to learn a few tricks. You know, I don't really have anyone to leave my power to—" should it ever really be mine "—and Rin doesn't have much to look forward to, does she? Is she going to be your pet for the rest of her life?"
The youkai lord looked ready to explode. His eyes were turning red, she noticed with interest. But she knew he wouldn't hurt her. For one thing, Rin was in the way. For another, her wind-web was still on Rin, which meant that the child couldn't see or hear Sesshoumaru at all.
And in case he decided to end the spell by killing the caster, Kagura had insurance for that. There were reasons why you shouldn't accept things from witches; sometimes you were giving permission for more than you wanted to. "See how much she's learned already? She's even let me link a little bit of spell to her own will—it'll keep itself up even if something happens to me." Sesshoumaru purpled, and Kagura had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing. It is truly amazing that such a handsome face can look so much like Jaken's. "Isn't she clever, Fluffy?"
"If you call me Fluffy again I will string you up by your toes, witch!"
She couldn't help it anymore. She burst out laughing.
Sesshoumaru yanked Tokijin out of its sheath with a snarl, but Kagura didn't stop. If anything, she laughed harder.
"Kagura-sama?" Rin looked up at the woman, bewildered. "What's so funny?"
Kagura managed to calm herself down. "It's just a silly dog barking at a mockingbird, Rin. Dogs can be such idiots sometimes."
Rin giggled, and nodded. "Hai, Kagura-sama. Rin-chan saw one chasing his tail—it was so funny!" She lowered her voice in a conspiratorial stage whisper. "And sometimes they drool in their sleep, and kick their feet—and Sesshoumaru-sama does it, too!"
Kagura laughed softly with the little girl, and her eyes were pure mischief as they met the humiliation-crazed golden gaze of the youkai lord. His face had ceased being purple, but that was only because it was so red with embarrassment as to be giving off more heat than a hibachi.
"You will regret this, Kagura," he hissed.
"Oh, you deserve to be taken down a notch or two," the wind witch breezed. "You take yourself too seriously, Fluffy."
"I am giving you one more chance—"
"You have nothing to bargain with," Kagura interrupted. "I'll decide when I want to release her, Sesshoumaru. You can wait a little while."
The inu-youkai glowered at her for a moment, then whirled and stalked away. Kagura grinned smugly, and bent to show Rin more magic.
The toad youkai poked his quavering nose out of the hole he'd taken refuge in. "S-s-sesshoum-m-maru-s-s-sama?" He yelped as a chunk of splintered branch dropped from what had been a tree onto his head.
"I want you to go to the half-breed's village. Find that old miko and tell her that I want that oil she made from kappa's skin." The youkai lord flexed his fingers unconsciously, freeing a slice of wood from between them. "And tell her that if I have to come for it myself, I will be extremely displeased."
"H-h-hai, S-sesshoum-m-m-maru-s-sama." Jaken inched out of his hiding spot, whimpering as a sliver drove into his heel. There wasn't much shade here, now that most of the larger trees were gone. Someone could have made several nicely-sized bonfires, though.
"Why are you still standing there?"
"Hai! Gomen nasai! Sesshoumaru-sama!" The little youkai scrambled away, almost clearing a fallen tree trunk in one jump in his haste to leave. As it was, he slammed into a waist-high rock once he'd heaved himself over the log. If he'd ever considered having children, he thought distractedly as he limped away, it probably wouldn't work out now.
This was just not a good day.