I write Kiki's thoughts about her sister in America's Sweethearts. It's never about Kiki, always about Gwen. Seems that's the way it's always been.

Never About Me

'Kiki, get this for me,' she says. So I do.

'Kikins, someone's smoking. You know I can't tolerate that. Stop it immediately!' she says. So I do.

Everything is always about her. Her thoughts. Her feelings. Her damn water with the electrolytes. Never about me.

It's like I told her how we were in high school, her breaking up with everyone vicariously through me. Gwen Harrison can't be bothered to talk to you, oh no. It was always Kiki. Poor poor overweight Kiki spouting 'We have to talk' so much it became a mantra whenever she dated someone new. And she was always dating someone new. So the mantra got a lot of use, to say the least.

'You were a lot funner you were fat,' she whines. She was a lot funner when she was with Eddie, I think. But that's over now. The public dislikes her, and her demands are insatiable now.

But I'm with Eddie now, or at least, I think we're together. But then he's such a fucking bonehead, and goes on about how he's 'technically not seeing anybody' when she's looking at him like prey, just waiting to serve him the divorce papers.

We slept together last night. But now he's appealing to her again. It's like when we were little. I had this toy kitchen, and she never really was interested in it. Heaven forbid Gwen get her fingernails dirty, even in pretend cooking. But after I became enthralled with it, after our parents praised my adeptness at cooking alongside them in the real kitchen, Gwen wanted it. Like always.

So now there's Eddie. Disregard the whole history that is them. And he's the kitchen. He's that green dress that looks like shit on her, but looks flattering on me. But once I put it on, she's all over it. It's her dress. Her spotlight. Her Eddie. She has to have it. She's Gwen Harrison. She only cares deeply about the plight of others - if it affects her life.

And it's always about her.