What if the events of "The Enemy Within" had been different? Warning: Character death. This story is not based on canon. It's merely a "What if". I don't know anything about how stardates work. It's not PC either. I just did it because I got the idea and had to put it down on paper. Maybe I watch too much Law & Order SVU. I certainly don't mean it to be offensive.
I am very thin skinned. Be kind. I do not own any of these characters and I am not making any money off of this story.
Jim Kirk couldn't believe the news. His former yeoman, Janice Rand had died in a shuttlecraft accident. He sat down on the edge of his bed and buried his head in his hands. How long had it been since she left the Enterprise? He thought about it for a moment and realized she had been gone for almost two years.
Admiral Lawrence had told him the news when they were discussing the Enterprise's new assignment. Lawrence had been surprised that no one on the Enterprise knew about their former crewmember's death. Apparently Janice had been a part of his administrative staff when she died.
No one on the Enterprise had heard much from her after she transferred. Chris Chapel was one of the few who kept in contact with her. Kirk realized that Chris obviously didn't know what had happened to her friend or she would have said something. He got up and headed towards Sick Bay to let her know.
He entered the turbolift and said "Sickbay." The lift took him to deck 7. The doors opened and he headed down the hall to Sickbay. As he entered he looked around to see if either McCoy or Chapel were on duty. He found them both in the lab, working on identifying a virus that one of the crewmembers had picked up when they were on planet TR192.
McCoy turned around at the sound of the doors opening. "We still haven't figured out what this virus is or how it spreads."
"I'm not here about the virus. I was just talking to David Lawrence at Starfleet Headquarters. He told me that Janice Rand had been working in his office since she left the Enterprise."
Chris Chapel turned to Kirk, "Yes, Janice and I have been keeping in touch. She said that even though she loves working there she plans on returning to the Academy to train in Engineering, and maybe work with transporters."
"Chris, he also told me that Janice had died in a shuttlecraft crash a couple months ago."
The look on Christine Chapel's face told him what he already suspected, that she had not been aware of this fact.
"She was on her way to Starbase 12 when the shuttle encountered an asteroid field. Everyone on board was killed. He hesitated for a moment, and then continued, David also told me that Janice left behind a daughter named Samantha Jean."
"What about the child's father, who was he? asked McCoy.
"David didn't mention him." Kirk responded.
Neither of them noticed how quiet or pale Christine had become. They talked for a few more minutes before Kirk left. McCoy turned back to the samples he and Chapel had been working on.
"Run another scan of the samples in dish number 3 please. Let me know if you find anything we missed before."
"Yes, Doctor." Chapel replied, trying to keep her mind on her work. She was shaken by the death of her friend. She hadn't known Janice was pregnant, but doing some quick math, she had a pretty good idea who the father was. Now her only problem was whether or not to tell him about it.
After much soul searching Christine decided that the right thing to do would be to tell him that Samantha Jean Rand was his daughter.
Later that evening Jim Kirk was sitting in his cabin reviewing the data from the last planet they had explored. Starfleet had them mapping out new planets in hopes of finding new ones to colonize. He was making a list of some of the data that puzzled him when his door chime rang.
"Come in." he called out.
Expecting it to be Mr. Spock, he was surprised when he saw it was Christine Chapel. She had a very worried, nervous look on her face.
"Come in Ms. Chapel. Is there a problem?" Kirk asked. Christine Chapel had never been to his cabin before.
"Captain, may I speak with you for a moment?"
"Of course, please have a seat" he replied, motioning to a chair.
He could see that she was very upset about something. He figured it was Janice's death, but why had she come here?
"Captain, I haven't been totally honest with you. I promised Janice I would never tell this, but I think it's time you knew the truth."
"The truth about what Miss. Chapel?" Kirk asked, now totally puzzled.
"The truth about who the father of her child is. At least who I think the father of her child is." The nurse replied.
Kirk was now at a complete loss as to what was going on. What was Chapel talking about?
"You had better start over nurse; I have no idea what you are talking about. Who is the father of Janice's child?"
"I think you are sir." Nurse Chapel whispered.
Me! That's totally impossible, Janice and I never…." His voice trailed off without finishing his sentence.
She looked at him for a moment and then went on, "You did. I mean, your double or opposite did."
Kirk looked at her for a moment in confusion, and then realization dawned on him. He knew what she was saying.
"Christine, when did it happen?" he asked.
She came back to your cabin to bring in some reports. You, I mean he was here, probably waiting for you or simply hiding. He attacked her then, finished what he had started earlier. She called me to her cabin. When I got there she was crying, bruised, shaken, terrified of what would happen if anyone would find out. Even though it wasn't really you, it would have ruined your career. She wasn't going to be responsible for that. I went back to Sickbay and sneaked out some first aid supplies; tranquilizers, and a dermal stimulator. She swore me to secrecy. She didn't think she had to worry about getting pregnant. When she was a cadet at the academy, she was in a training accident. The doctors said she would probably never be able to conceive a child. It wasn't long after that that she requested a transfer from the Enterprise. Captain, I swear to you, she never told me she was pregnant."
Kirk looked at the distraught expression on Christine's face and knew she was telling him the truth. He was very grateful that she had not said anything in Sickbay. He and Bones didn't keep many secrets, but he was so ashamed of this that he didn't want anyone to know.
As if reading his mind, Chapel said, "Captain, it wasn't your fault. You didn't do it. Janice knew that. She told me she didn't blame you."
This didn't make him feel any better. A part of him was capable of rape. A dark, dangerous part. He had raped a woman who trusted him, and if he were honest with himself, loved him. He couldn't look Chapel in the eyes.
Nurse Chapel got up from her chair, walked to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Captain, it wasn't your fault." Then she turned and left his quarters.
He didn't know how long he sat there, thinking about what his darker side had done. He started when the door chime sounded again. "Come in." he said.
This time it was Dr. McCoy. He sauntered into the room with a bottle of Saurian brandy in his hand. "I thought you might like some of this. We can toast old friends."
From the expression on his face, Kirk knew that Chapel had not told him anything.
"Sorry Bones, I'm really not in the mood. I've been going over these reports and I'm just too tired."
"Come on, Jim, one little drink. We can at least toast Samantha Jean. I wonder if she looks like Janice or her father." McCoy wondered.
The question caused Kirk to flinch inside. What did his daughter look like? Where was she living? Was there someone to take care of her? Obviously Janice had not put his name on the birth certificate or someone would have contacted him.
McCoy's voice broke into his thoughts, "Jim, what the devil is the matter with you? I've been talking to you for five minutes and you haven't said a thing."
"I'm sorry Bones; I guess I'm still shaken by Janice's death." Kirk managed a half-way smile, hoping to convince his friend that he was all right.
"Okay, I get the message. I'm going to take my brandy and go back to my cabin. If you want to talk, you know where to find me." With that, he turned and left.
Suddenly feeling extremely drained, Kirk turned to look at the chronometer. It was getting late; he needed to get some rest if he was going to be able to function tomorrow. After getting ready for bed, he climbed between the sheets, hoping he could get some rest. Sleep didn't come easy that night. He knew that Chris was right when she said it wasn't his fault, but that didn't make him feel any better. Samantha, had Janice chosen that name as a connection to him through his late brother Sam? He tossed and turned for what seemed like hours before exhaustion took over and he fell asleep.
He awoke early the next morning and decided that he needed to at least find out what happened to his daughter. Getting out of bed, he walked to his computer station, "Computer, give me all of the information you have on a Samantha Jean Rand, born on Earth about a year ago. Her mother's name is Janice Rand."
"Working." responded the computer.
After a few seconds, the computer voice continued," Samantha Jean Rand, born on Earth, San Francisco on stardate 1682.1, and mother's name was Janice Rand, assigned to Admiral David Lawrence. Father's name is not listed. Her mother died in a shuttlecraft accident. Samantha Jean Rand is now living with her mother's sister Jean Parker in Provo, Utah."
A part of Kirk was relieved that his name was not on record as being Samantha's father. As soon as he thought this he was ashamed of himself. A child was going to grow up without parents because of him. He did some more checking and found that Samantha was being raised with her three cousins, Sarah, Ellie and Ben. He wondered if he should try to get in touch with her family, but he couldn't figure out how to do so without telling them he was Samantha's father. What kind of life could he offer her? What would it do to her to find out how she was conceived? No, the best thing for her would be for him to stay out of her life for now. He hoped that she would have a happy life.
TWENTY THREE YEARS LATER
Captain's Private Log; Stardate 8769.24. "We are returning to Earth after our ordeal with the Klingons. Finally, there will be peace between our races, and hopefully it will be a lasting peace." The door chime to his cabin rang, interrupting his thoughts. "Come in."
A young, female cadet, in her early twenties entered his cabin. "Here is the damage report you requested sir."
Kirk took the report and thanked her. She was an attractive blonde, with blue eyes. For a moment she looked vaguely familiar to him; the way she looked when she handed him the report and the way her voice sounded.
"What is your name, cadet?" he asked.
"Cadet Samantha Parker, sir." she replied nervously. This was Captain James T. Kirk, the legend. She had heard so many stories about him.
Kirk froze. It couldn't be. Samantha's last name would have been Rand. Of course her aunt and uncle could have adopted her, this would account for the name change.
"Will that be all sir?" Cadet Parker asked.
"Yes, you may go now." Kirk replied.
After she left, he stared thoughtfully at the door for a few seconds before turning to his computer. It had been a long time since he had checked on her, so much had been going on in his life, he wondered if it was possible that this cadet was his daughter.
"Computer. Request update on Samantha Jean Rand."
"Working" replied the computer in the same voice that had been programmed into it for years. "Samantha Jean Rand. She was legally adopted by Jean and Dennis Parker. She is now a cadet in Starfleet and is assigned to the Federation Starship Enterprise."
Kirk couldn't believe it. His daughter had been assigned to the Enterprise. What should he do? He couldn't very well go up to her and introduce himself. It would be two weeks before the Enterprise arrived at Earth. This would give him some time to get to know her and think of what to do. In the mean time, there was one person he had to talk to.
Kirk pushed the button for the door chimes to Dr. Chapel's cabin. The familiar voice said, "Come in."
As he entered the cabin, Kirk thought back to the night when Christine had told him about his daughter. If anyone could help him, it would be her.
"Captain, please come in."
"Well Dr. Chapel, it's certainly been a long time." Kirk replied lamely.
"What can I help you with?" she asked, sensing that Kirk was not here for a casual visit.
"Chris, there's no easy way to start this. Did you know that Samantha is on the Enterprise?"
"No. I had no idea she was even in Starfleet."
Kirk smiled uncomfortably, "Yes, she is. I just met her. She brought the damage report to my cabin. She introduced herself, and I had no idea what to say. I must have looked like an idiot to her. I decided to come and talk to you because you are the only person I can talk to about this."
Chapel looked at him for a few moments. She felt sorry for the man. He had a daughter he could not claim because of the circumstances of her conception.
"Please, Jim, sit down."
It was the first time he could ever remember hearing her call him by his first name. It made him feel closer to her. He had almost forgotten what it was like to have a friend he could really count on. He sat down on a chair at the table where Chris was sitting.
"Chris, what do I do? I want to get to know her, but I can't tell her who I am, and I can't have her think I am a dirty old man hitting on her."
Chapel chuckled at that, "Let me think about it. Maybe there is someway of approaching her as a friend of her mother's."
Kirk sighed, "Chris, I'm getting too old for all of this. Maybe it's better if I don't get to know her. She has a family. Can you imagine how she would feel if she found out how I became her father?"
Chapel looked at him, "She doesn't need to know that. She doesn't even need to know you are her father. But you deserve to know her. You've been kicking yourself over this for 23 years. It's time to let it go."
Kirk stood and turned towards the door, "Thanks for listening to me and for being there. You have no idea how much it has helped."
Knowing he couldn't sleep, Kirk headed towards the observation deck. Watching the stars always helped him center himself. He settled himself on one of the couches and watched the star field passing by. He had been there about an hour when he heard the doors open. Annoyed by the intrusion, he turned to see who was disrupting his meditation time. It was Samantha.
She stopped when she saw him. "I'm sorry sir, I didn't mean to interrupt." She turned to leave.
"Please, stop. You are not interrupting anything. Have a seat." Kirk blurted out.
Great, he thought. Now that she is here, what do I say to her?
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Samantha broke the silence by saying, "I love watching the stars. When I was a child growing up in Utah, I loved to sit out at night and watch them. I would imagine what it would be like to travel among them."
"You grew up in Utah?" Kirk asked, "I grew up in Iowa."
"Yes, I know." She responded. You see, my mother served on the Enterprise many years ago so I made it my business to learn everything about the legendary James Kirk."
Kirk's heart skipped a beat. Was it possible that she somehow knew that he was her father?
"Your mother served on the Enterprise? I don't remember anyone named Parker."
"My mother died when I was born, her sister and her husband adopted me. Mom's name was Janice Rand."
"Janice was your mother?" he asked, trying to pretend that everything he was hearing was new to him.
"Yes, Aunt Jean told me that she was your personal yeoman. I was hoping to meet some of the people that she served with and maybe find out more about her." Samantha told him.
Kirk hesitated for a moment trying to figure out just what to tell her. "Your mother was a great asset to this ship. She certainly kept me organized, and fed." Kirk chuckled, remembering the times that Janice had brought his meals to his cabin when he was too busy to eat. She knew how to take the helm in an emergency and was tough under pressure."
It was Kirk's turn to ask Samantha a few questions. "Samantha is an unusual name, is it a family name?"
"No, I don't know anyone in my family by that name. Maybe it came from my father's family, or maybe it's just a name my mother liked."
They stared out the window at the stars for a few moments.
"So, you joined Starfleet because you like watching the stars?"
"That's only part of the reason. Utah was a nice place to grow up, but I wanted more out of life. I guess I just needed some adventure, something to challenge me."
"So, what about your father? You said you were adopted by your aunt and uncle, where was your father?" Kirk asked.
When Samantha hesitated, he thought that he had gone too far.
"I don't know who my father is." she responded. "Mom never put his name on my birth certificate. I don't know if he was someone she was involved with, or if he was just a donor. I've thought about having my genes scanned to see if I can find a match, but I'm not sure I want to know. My mother obviously had her reasons for not putting his name on my birth certificate"
She sounded like she was almost in tears.
Kirk cleared his throat, "I'm sorry if I asked too many personal questions."
"That's okay. I had a good life with my adoptive parents. They loved me like I was their own."
Samantha continued to stare out at the stars while Kirk studied her face. She looked a lot like her mother, but he could see himself in her face too.
"So what do you plan on doing in Starfleet?" Kirk asked.
Samantha turned to him and answered, "I plan on going into command training. I would like to Captain a starship someday."
Kirk couldn't help but feel a sense of pride in his daughter. "I'll bet you will make a terrific captain."
"Thank you. That is a great compliment coming from you." Samantha rose from the couch where she had been sitting. "Well, it is getting late. I think I will turn in. Good night Captain."
"Good night Cadet."
Kirk watched her as she walked from the room. He was grateful that he had the chance to talk to his daughter. He would have to keep an eye on her career. Maybe one day she really would be a Starship Captain.