Disclaimer: I own naught
Summary: Through magic and mystery, Kon finally gets his revenge.
Rated for swearing.
(A/N) big mistake on my part, I know that Kon is a stuffed lion, however in here he's gonna be a teddy bear in this story, of which you shall pretend is a stuffed lion.
Tribute to Kon.
Kon sat in an angry heap on the floor.
Today it was the sailor suit, tomorrow would be the pink frilly ballerina tutu! He simply couldn't take it anymore! The abuse and neglect was utterly degrading to his dignity. Why should he, a perfectly adequate failed experiment suffer so, by his own friends nevertheless?
Nee-san was always so mean, smashing his head into the ground with her feet, and Ichigo was constantly throwing him around as if he were but a common stuffed bear.
And that evil Quincy. Oh how Kon loathed him! Constantly toying around with his manliness like that. And the others thought it was sooo funny! How could insulting a man's masculinity with fluffy red dresses and bow ties be funny! It was sadistic, cruel and ugly.
But even worse then that Quincy bastard was the girl…oh yes that terrible horrible fiend. When he was least expecting it, Ichigo's little sister would sneak up on him, kidnap him, and torture and humiliate his feathery little body to no ends! Such affliction was unbeknownst to most living humans in that era. No one could understand the pain he goes through day by day!
Why does he put up with it?
Kon pondered one morning, before either Ichigo or Nee-san or that dam little brat woke up. He was pacing back and forth in Ichigo's room, muttering consistently to himself about the torment caused unto him by that very household.
"I don't need them," he stated aloud, "I've never needed them. Sure Ichigo helped me out once or twice, but think of all the times I've stood in for him when he was out hollow-slaying! I say it is they who need I, not I who needs they!" He brought his paw to his chin, "wait, wait, isn't that they who needs me not I need them?"
He shook his head "It is of no importance. What I need to do make them realize how much they need me! But how can I achieve such a feat? Let's see here…I could run away again! Unfortunately that didn't work out so well last time," he visibly winced as he remembered the unbearable pain he underwent that day, "I was too rash an naïve then…a mistake that shall not happen again" he swore.
"Simply making them conscious of how much they need me isn't enough however. I understand how much they need me and I suffer almost every hour of everyday from their uncaring and unkind treatment towards me. They need to suffer as well! I'll make Ichigo see how it feels like to be tied up to a toilet for hours upon hours! Ahahahahahahaha!"
"WILL YOU SHUDDUP! SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO GET A LITTLE SHUT-EYE AROUND HERE!" screamed Ichigo as he picked up the stuff bear before he could respond and literally tossed him out the second story window.
Luckily for Kon his fall was broken (even though it probably wouldn't matter since he was a teddy bear). Unluckily for him he landed in a trash bin.
"Alas such is the life of poor little Kon," he remarked as he climbed out of the can.
Behind him suddenly, heard a low melodic growl. Twas an inhabitant of the trash bin, a big black homeless kitty cat.
"Nice kitty," he soothed nervously.
"I didn't mean to land in you trash can. It was all that dam Ichigo's fault really! Here you can have it back you see!" he tried to calm the approaching animal.
"Um, why are you looking at me like that? Nice kitty, very nice kitty, don't attack the talking stuffed animal you stupid overgrown kitty-cat. Hey! Hey! Wait! I didn't mean that last part! I was only joking- Ahhhhhhhhhh!"
Ten minutes later, to all the little boys and little girls who bothered to peek out their window that morning, could see a worn 'n torn up teddy bear with half an ear missing, walking by itself in the middle of the vacant street.
"Regrettably I can do little in this sad excuse for a body. I cannot even fend off a kitty cat. How could I ever stand up to Ichigo and his evil accomplices this way? I need my own body, one that is strong and powerful, and good-looking too."
Then, while passing another dirty garbage heap, Kon spotted a beautiful white lamp. Quickly his thoughts of hate and revenge were washed away as he took a step closer to it. Yep it was white alright, despite being covered by grime and filth.
To Kon it was the most beautiful object he had ever seen. He picked it up.
"Why in the world would anyone want to through away something as priceless as this?" he muttered to himself.
Looking it over he saw no scratch or chip anywhere. It was in perfect condition.
A thought suddenly entered his mind and his imagination went wild again. He could sell this piece of junk! He could say that it was made of real pure white silky pearls, shipped all the way from Indonesia. Who knows what kind of idiots would fall for it and pay lots and lots of money to buy it from him.
Kon grinned evilly. Then he would be rich, rich enough for a king! He could already imagine Ichigo's jealous face as he bowed down before him, staring in awe at Kon, the filthy rich teddy bear. Ichigo would say how he was wrong about him, he wasn't a good for nothing little twerp who wouldn't shut up. And then he would ask if he could be graced with his presence and do anything that he asked him to. Kon then would make Ichigo his personal servant.
Oh how he could just imagine it now, sitting on a throne cracking the whip on Ichigo's back while Nee-san would wave a palm leaf above his head, compliment how beautiful his button eyes were, and that orange-haired girl with big boobs would be sitting next to him in a bikini, feeding him one by one big juicy purple grapes while they all watched and laughed as that Sado guy dressed the Quincy up in one of his ridiculous costumes. And then he would feed both of Ichigo's little sisters to his pet alligator and make Ichigo watch them get eaten in horror.
The dirty little bear standing in the middle of a garbage heap couldn't help but laugh aloud at his little fantasy while he absentmindedly began to rub a particular black smudge off the lamp. When he noticed that the smudge wasn't coming off, he began to rub harder.
"C'mon," he murmured, "You've gotta looked just perfect if-," he started to rub even harder, "-I'm going to sell you off to some idiot-," the smudge wasn't even fading a little! "-in some mid-eastern market- ahhh!"
The lamp radiated a flash of white light as an invisible force sent the bear flying.
"Oww, what happened…" he sat up rubbing his head, "Ack! Wh-who are you!"
Standing before him were three mysterious beings. As the light faded away he saw that they were little girls with wings, each only about a head taller than he was.
Not sure exactly what these three creatures were, however judging from their appearances and the light that radiated around them, the first thing that came to Kon's mind was-
"Ahh! Hollows!" he screamed, "Ichigo help! The hollows are attacking! The hollows are attacking!"
One of the mysterious beings stepped forward. Her long flowing dress and her hair were both a matching dark blue color.
"We are not hollows, friend, we are fairies." She explained in a beautifully warm voice.
"Fairies? What the hell are fairies?" cried out Kon he as frantically began screaming for help again. A sudden thought hit him, Wait a second, why am I calling for help? I don't need them, I can take care of these things by myself!
Kon turned around with a new fiery determination glowing in his eyes.
In the meantime, however, the dark blue fairy was busy explaining the history and origin of the fairies.
"Well you see, we come from a long line of female rulers in our family and-SMACK!"
Kon landed a clean kick across her face. She went flying into the pile of garbage.
"What the hell do you think your doing you little ba-"
"Ha! Take that!" Kon laughed, standing with paws on hips.
"You should have known better than to fight me, the great and almighty Kon, super hollow-fighter and handsome soul-in-bear wha-aa"
The fairy tackled him in mid-air and proceeded to beat the stuffing out of him.
Five long and painful minutes later….
"There," the blue fairy said satisfied and wiping the dust off her hands, "That'll teach ya some respect, isn't that right you adorable wittle teddy bear," she patted his head.
"Yes your majesty," he said sweetly, his entire body no more than rags barely contained together by loose threading.
"Aww, you're so cute," she turned towards her two companions whom did nothing the entire time but stare at the interesting scenario, the light blue one occasionally letting out a giggle or two.
"Now, let's proceed with the ritual," the dark blue one said, the other two nodded and they stood in a line in front of the torn-up teddy bear.
"We are the three fairy queens and you have freed us from our imprisonment inside the lamp. We humbly thank you," they spoke in unison.
"To show our gratitude, we shall fulfill the three desires of your heart."
The white fairy stepped forward and, in a flat monotone voice, she said, "I will grant your empty desires," and curtsied
The light-blue haired fairy stepped up next and giggled, "I will grant your partial desires."
Finally stepped up the dark-blue haired fairy, she bowed deeply, "And I will grant your deepest desire."
"When you wish for us to fulfill your desires," she continued, "you must ask for them in the order we have presented ourselves."
Kon stared while the wind blew and the crickets chirped.
"Desires?" his voice managed to come out in a hopeful squeak, "You mean like three wishes?"
The fairies nodded.
Kon couldn't believe his ears.
"Alleluia the Lord has come!" he finally whooped, "Finally fate has followed in my favor; destiny has spoken its place for me! Bwahahaha!"
He tried to jump for joy, but unfortunately failed miserably to do so when he landed on his soft behind due to a mostly torn-off foot.
Now much calmer, he stared thoughtfully at his paws. "Anything I desire huh?" he muttered.
The white-haired fairy nodded, "Yes, please tell me your most empty desire, and it shall be granted."
Kon pondered for a few moments. He had no clue what an empty or partial desire was; however, he only knew too well what a deep desire from the bottom of his heart was. God only knows how much he's had one of those desires every time he stared at Inoue-san's chest.
His first instinct for his wish was just to say, 'I want to get back at Ichigo for all the times he's humiliated me!' or 'I want all the girls with big breasts in the world to be mine!'
However he quickly dismissed those thoughts. The last time he had acted rashly on his instincts his body paid the punishment.
I am definitely not going to mess up this time, he resolved, the opportunity is just too perfect!
Kon resolutely glared at the white-haired fairy. He had made his decision.
"I wish to have a human body."