Alright! So far, everyone likes it! This is a good sign. Now, on with the chapter!

Chapter #2: Make-overs and train rides

Stephanie's jaw dropped.

After her crazy ride through the pocket watch, she and Miss Cromwell had landed in the Grand Hall of the finishing school. It was like a mansion, only bigger. The Grand Hall was as big as a dance floor, with a large stairway leading to the upper levels. There were statues of nudes everywhere, and large, velvet curtains draped across the wide windows. Stephanie decided right then and there that she had never seen a more splendid abode in her life.

"Come along, come along," Miss Cromwell said quickly as she ushered Stephanie to the immense staircase. "We have much to do and not much time to do so! And don't gawk! It's very un-Mary-Sue-ish!"

Stephanie quickly stopped gazing at the magnificence of the mansion/castle type thingy, and focused her gaze instead on the stairs she had to climb. Stephanie's mind was reeling. What was this place exactly? Why was she here? Where were they going to take her? She was completely in the dark.

After many, many, many staircases, hallways, secret passageways later, Miss Cromwell and Stephanie arrived at the dormitories. Miss Cromwell steered Stephanie inside a rather large one and sat her on the enormous four-post bed.

"Alright, now, we have much to do and-"but Miss Cromwell was cut off.

"OK, lady, first of all-"but Stephanie's karma quickly rebounded.

"When you address one of your elders," Miss Cromwell said sternly. "You do not use the term 'lady' in that tone! You say politely, ma'am."

"OK, ma'am," Stephanie emphasized to show she was learning something. "I have a few questions. First off, why am I here?"

"You have been summoned here," Miss Cromwell said as-a-matter-of-factly. "to replace our dearly departed Alexia Sierra Mary Laura Delgada in a story she was intended to star in." Miss Cromwell wiped a non-existent tear from her eye.

Stephanie sighed. Well, there was one thing she could account this woman for; she sure didn't beat it around the bush.

"And second of all," Stephanie continued. "What are you going to do to me?"

"Well, to put it simply," Miss Cromwell said. "We are going to transform you from an uncouth, crude, unpleasantly fat girl to a shining model of perfection so you will be suitable for the story!"

"OK, first of all," Stephanie said, her anger rising. "I am not fat! I'm average, OK? See the difference-"Stephanie began to gesture with her hands "-Fat: Round as a beach ball and over-sized skin hanging off said person. Average: Healthy, full figure with no fat hanging off said person, but not stick thin! And second of all, what kind of story is this I'm going to be put in?" Suddenly Stephanie was having second thoughts about consenting to come.

"Oh, you poor child!" Miss Cromwell cried. "You have such a distorted idea of what beauty is, you have this notion that fat is beautiful!"

Stephanie rolled her eyes. She hadn't been at this place for a half an hour, and already she was sick of it.

"But we will fix that!" Miss Cromwell stated with hope in her voice. "As for what sort of story you will be in, you will star in a literature masterpiece entitled, "His Only Love" which of course, is a Harry Potter fan fiction, in which you will go to Hogwarts and be sorted into Gryffindor, then-"But Stephanie didn't hear the rest. Her mind had gone blissfully numb.

Stephanie was a huge fan of Harry Potter. She had practically grown up with it. Of course, when she had turned that fateful number eleven (the same year "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" came out in theaters, you do the math), she realized that her feelings for the young boy wizard were slowly, but surely, changing. He had started out, for her, as a really cool kid, an underdog that managed to rake his way out of the darkness and come out triumphant. He was her role model. But at that fateful age of eleven, she started to realize that he wasn't just some amazing kid with a magic wand. He was a boy. A really nice boy at that. And not a bad looking boy either. (A/N: I'm sure you all know where this is going. Heehee!) He wasn't like the boys she had grown up with: rude, lecherous, loud, and disgusting. He was, what is rare in these times, a gentleman. She began to think of Harry often. He occupied her every thought. And when she found out about Cho, she got angry. Really angry. Actually, she nearly had a heart attack. It would take her nearly six months to figure it out, but she was falling (hard!) in love with The-Boy-Who-Lived.

"…and that is about it. Excuse me, Miss Whitney? Are you listening?"

Stephanie snapped out of her trip down memory lane, thinking the whole thing had been a dream, since her teachers frequently addressed her that way when her mind wandered. But she soon discovered that the person who addressed her was not one of her teachers, but the oh so prim-and-proper Miss Cromwell.

"Hmmm, what? Oh, yeah, I was listening." Stephanie said in an off-tone.

"Good." Miss Cromwell said. "That means that we can start the beautification process! First order of business is to change that dreadful name of yours."

"Excuse me?" Stephanie stood up and glowered at Miss Cromwell. "Just what is wrong with my name!"

"It is too plain and homely for a Mary-Sue." Miss Cromwell said simply.

Stephanie sat back down on the bed in a huff.

"Now," Miss Cromwell continued. "To find a suitable name for you." She rubbed her chin. "Let's see…I know! We'll call you Stephania Aurora Renee Artemis Whitney Deavereux! There! That's much better!"

Stephanie blinked. What in the hell kind of a name was that! She was about to say so when Miss Cromwell cut her off once again.

"Now," She said, walking back and forth in front of Stephanie. "We need to do something about that atrocious figure of yours! Then we'll need to do something about your wardrobe…"

Stephanie looked down at her jeans, black T-shirt that said in bright, fluorescent colors, "Goonies Never Say Die!" (A/N: I love that shirt!), and black high-tops. She honestly didn't see anything wrong with them, but if she spoke up, she knew she probably wouldn't get much out.

"…and lastly," Miss Cromwell said. "We must do something about your hair and makeup. It's horrid!"

Stephanie thought "horrid" was going a little far. Sure, she wore a little bit of black eyeliner and washed her face regularly, so her acne wasn't bad, but she would hardly call it "horrid".

"Girls!" Miss Cromwell shouted in the direction of the door. Almost instantly, a dozen or so girls ran into the large suite, the first six carrying makeup kits, brushes, combs, and an assortment of other cosmetic products and the next six carrying numerous outfits, some of which looked like they belonged to a stripper.

For the next three hours, the dozen girls (coached my Miss Cromwell) transformed Stephanie into a life-sized Barbie doll. They did everything from caking foundation on her face to popping two kinds of pills in her mouth (one was to increase her bust size, all Mary-Sues must have at least double D cup sized breasts they said, and the other one was a diet pill to increase metabolism to keep skinny).

Eventually, the Mary-Sues subsided to let Stephanie through to see her new self. Stephanie had some trouble getting to the full-length mirror on the other side of the room (she was wearing platform boots and she had never had much experience with heels). When she finally scuttled over to the mirror, Stephanie thought she would faint.

"Oh, God," She said weakly. "I'm Jessica Simpson." She could practically feel her IQ drop about twenty degrees (A/N: Ouch!).

Stephanie was wearing an outfit that would make even a hooker cringe. She had on a completely see-through crop-top that showed off her lovely, lacey black push-up bra, some incredibly short shorts (yes, smaller than Daisy Dukes, if that's possible) which showed off her black, lacey thong that matched the bra. And lastly, the metallic platform boots that made her look as though she was going to start a strip-tease any minute. Stephanie longed for her nice, modest clothes. She was never one to show much off. Plus, the outfit was drafty!

"Yes, girls, I think we've done it!" Miss Cromwell said approvingly.

"Now," Miss Cromwell said, moving on. "In about an hour, the Hogwarts Express leaves, so we need to get your things together. Girls!" She said as-a-matter-of-factly. "Pack Miss Deavereux's trunk for her. We mustn't make her prone to breaking a nail!" And in a flash, the girls were off.

"As for you," Miss Cromwell said to Stephanie. "To maintain your new, lovely figure-"Stephanie snorted. "-you must take one of each of these pills a day." She held out the little bottles each labeling its purpose clearly.

Suddenly, the girls returned with a huge trunk, no doubt filled with more smutty clothes. One walked over and handed Stephanie a long, white fur cloak.

"Well, chop, chop!" Miss Cromwell said. "We mustn't be late!"

As the girls towed the trunk out the door, Stephanie threw the cloak around her shoulders tightly and followed Miss Cromwell.

Stephanie sat rigidly in the empty compartment. She couldn't believe she was on her way to Hogwarts. She was also nervous. As she had boarded the train, she had received some rather hungry looks from teenage boys that made her uneasy. Oh, how she longed for her nice, concealing clothes.

Suddenly, the train jerked to life, and they were on their way.

For the first few hours of the trip, Stephanie's ride had been pretty uneventful. Until a certain pureblood came and disrupted her silence.

"Well, well, well," drawled the infamous Draco Malfoy as he opened the door and waltzed right in as though he owned the place, his flunkies following. "Look what we have here." Malfoy advanced on poor Stephanie and sat down next to her.

"You just stick with me, gorgeous," he said suggestively. As Malfoy said this, he placed his hand on her thigh. Stephanie flinched.

"Don't want to go off making friends with the wrong sort," Malfoy continued as he slid his hand a little higher. That was all Stephanie could take.

"Listen, white-head," Stephanie snapped. "I think I can tell the wrong sort for myself, and for the record, I wouldn't mind if you got your greasy little paw off my leg!"

Malfoy withdrew his hand and stood up. Stephanie saw her chance.

"GGGUUUUUUUCHI!" She screamed as she kicked Malfoy backwards, causing him to go sprawling into Crabbe and Goyle. They all fell threw the door and Stephanie shut it immediately.

Once she had calmed down, she looked at her watch. They would be at Hogwarts in minutes. She thought now would be the perfect time to get changed.

OK, second chapter's up. I'm so sorry this took me so long to update, but I've been having a rather hectic summer so far. Enjoy! Next chapter, Stephanie meets the trio! Remember, review and tell me what you think! And check out my new story when I upload it, called "Stuck on You."