63Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men or the other cast of X-Men Evolution. I do not own Snow White either. I've heard rumors about Marvel and Disney. . . I do own Raven, Rachel, Twinkle and Lightning.
A/N: For those of you who have not read Sleeping Beauty (with Rogue as Aurora and Remy as Prince Phillip) or Remy Hood (with Rogue as Maid Marion and Remy as, you guessed it, Robin Hood), it isn't necessary to, but here are the things you need to know. Raven and Lightning are time travelers from another dimension, where Rogue and Gambit are married and Raven is their daughter. She has a little sister named Rachel. Oh, and Kitty and Piotr have a daughter who is code named Twinkle.
Typecasting may be a little off on the Dwarfs, but I'm doing the best I can here. I was going to update my serious fic, before I started writing this. I've even got a good three pages of it done, too, but this keeps bugging me. . . so here we go. . .
This story is dedicated to Kyo-Kitty, for inspiring it. Thank you. . .
And now, Raven and Lightning present . . .
Rogue White and the Seven Mutants.
Preproduction:
Rogue grumbles as she walks into the studio. "Anotheh stupid play? What is with all these stupid plays?"
Remy just laughs as he follows her over to the directors' chairs. He reads the names on the back.
"Don't tell me. . ." Rogue whines, "Please just don't say they are coming back. . ."
"Remy won't say Raven and Lightning are returning, t'en," he smirks, "Even if it is true."
Rogue picks up the copy of the script. "Snow White? Oh, good night! They gonna put me in anotheh stupid princess outfit!" She shoves the script into Remy's chest.
"Mais chere, You look tres bonne in t'ose dresses."(1)
"Don't start with me, Cajun!"
"Sheesh!" Kitty says, as her and Piotr join them. "The play, like, hasn't even been, like, cast yet and you two are already at each other's throats."
"We are not!" Rogue and Gambit yell in unison.
Scott, having just walked in, hand in hand with Jean Grey, starts whimpering like a baby.
"You can do this Scott. I know you can." Jean tries to comfort.
"Synchronized Sentences. . ." he mumbles, trembling.
"I'm here."
"And so are we." Raven says lightly, stepping out of the shadows with Lightning, and startling everyone there.
"Don't do t'at!" Remy says.
"Whatever you says, Pops." Lightning says lightly.
"Don't call him that!" Raven groans.
"Yes, dear," Lightning says flatly, not wishing to get into a major fight so early in the play.
"Where is everyone?" Raven asks, annoyed.
"Coming." The entire cast shows up about then. This makes Raven smile, which scares everyone more than if she was scowling.
"Now, then. No filming today, only casting." Lightning says.
"Let me guess," Jean groans, "Rogue gets to play the pretty little princess. . ."
"Surprisingly astute, today, Jean," Raven grins evilly. "Which is why we changed the name to Rogue White and the Seven Mutants."
"Ah am not talking in that stupid squeaky voice!" Rogue declares, making her daughter shudder.
"Please don't," Lightning pleads.
"Now, that that's settled," Raven begins. "There are much fewer parts in this play, so. . ."
A loud cheer erupts from the crowd of mutants and non-mutants before her. Raven hates to be interrupted. Lightning, knowing this, starts backing up slowly. Raven grabs a deck of cards from Gambit. "Hey!"
"I ran out," she tells him, taking out the Two of Spades and charging it. The card lands in the middle of the crowd and they scatter as it explodes. "Now then, all of you who do not receive parts will still be required to be here as the stage crew and special effects team." The cast groans loudly and Scott shudders again. Raven uses her telekinesis to hit him on the back of the head with a roll from the buffet table. "Snap out of it."
"Now then," Lightning starts. "Gambit will be Prince Charming. Sorry, it's a small part."
"As long as Remy's still ma chere's love interest, he don't care."
"Don't call me chere!" Rogue growls.
"Funny how you don't mind when we're alone," smirks Remy again.
Rogue just covers her head with one hand and shakes it. "Lousy Swamp Rat."
"Ahmm," Raven clears her throat. "Mystique. . ."
"I get to be the evil queen. . .right?"
"Correct as usual, King Friday." Lightning jokes. (2) "Logan, you get to be the Huntsman."
"What? No chicken costume this time?" Logan says, amused.
"No," Raven returns. "Scott, I hope you'll be satisfied with a smaller part this time?"
"Do I get beaten by Pyro over and over?"
"No."
"Then, I'm fine with it." he nods.
"Okay, then, you are the magic mirror." she says.
"Rahne, you get to be, drumroll please. . ." Lightning says, while Pyro creates his much needed drumroll. ". . . a wolf!"
She rolls her eyes. "Gee, didn't see that one coming. . ."
"The rest off the animals will be played by Forge's Incredible Animatronic Robots," Raven says cheerfully. "They shall be known from here on out as IAR's."
"There is still the part of Prince Charming's horse," Lightning says evilly, pointing to the same costume used when Scott and Bobby played the part of Samson in Sleeping Beauty. "Ray gets to be the head." Bobby hides. "No use, Iceboy. You're the tail."
"It's Iceman! Ah, can't you give a guy a break?"
"No." Raven answers as if that was the stupidest question ever asked. "Now, the dwarfs. Forge has come up with a nice little shrinking machine to make the seven lucky dwarfs two feet high." Everyone who doesn't have a part yet tries to run, but are held in place by Raven.
"We are also changing the nicknames of six of the dwarfs." Lightning tells the frozen cast members. "Hank, you get to be Doc, and yours is the nickname we are keeping."
Hank nods, and starts trying to accept his fate.
"Kitty, you will be Happy." Raven calls, "And we will call you Kitty."
Kitty sighs, but accepts her fate. It could be worse after all. . .
"Tabby," Lightning says, "you will be Sneezy, aka Boomy for this play."
She groans. "Can I blow stuff up when I sneeze?"
"Yup."
"Okay then, I'm happy." she grins and several people get scared.
"Dopey will be played by Evan," Raven continues. "Who will be called Porky." (3)
"Dopey! No way! I'm not stupid!" Evan argues.
"You'd think he'd learn," Raven says to Lightning.
"Nope, he's too stupid." he answers.
She lifts Evan up to the ceiling and lets him drop. His bone plates protect him just enough, but he's in a considerable amount of pain, owing to the fact that the ceiling is a good thirty feet high. "Now then, you are a high school dropout who no one likes, correct?"
"I like him," Ororo says.
"You have to," Raven says. Then, she turns back to the broken heap that is Evan on the floor, "You live in the sewers and are too stupid to know when to keep your mouth shut, correct?"
He barely nods.
"Then, you will play whatever part I tell you too!" she shouts.
He nods again.
"Okay then, Lightning?"
"Yes, now, Toad, you will play Grumpy," he says, returning to the mission at hand, "also known as Toady for this play."
"Why? I'm not grumpy, yo." Toad says confused.
"I know," Raven says, "But I just want to see the others give you a bath."
"Bath?" he gulps. "Did she say 'Bath'? Help me! Someone help! Please!"
Avalanche laughs, "Can't wait to see that one, myself."
"That leaves Sleepy, who will be played by the lovely Jean Grey," Lightning starts choking from laughter.
"What is so funny?" Jean asks, noticing everyone else, besides Scott, is also laughing, even Raven, a rare sight indeed.
"He, like, he . . ." Kitty tries, but can't get it out.
"He called you lovely!" Pyro squeals, insane laughter following. "Don't tell me she won't get a nickname, either!"
"No, she has one," Raven says, being the first one to calm down. "It's snobby." This causes those people still laughing to laugh even harder.
"That's not very nice!" Jean says, highly offended.
"No, and neither are you, so we'll leave it at that." Lightning says, finally able to breathe.
"And the last Dwarf, Bashful, will be played by Kurt," Raven says. She shrugs. "Sorry Uncle, but it was the last part and I wanted to have you called Fuzzy."
"Ah, it's okay. At least I have a part at all." He says in his cute German accent.
"That's the last part?" Wanda asks. Raven nods. "No extras?" Raven nods again. "Hip-hip-hurray! No evil dresses for me!"
"I think you looked pretty good in that one you wore in Sleeping Beauty," Pyro says.
"You would!" she snubs, before sending a hex bolt into his butt.
"Ouch! Hey, that hurts!" he begins to run as Raven releases the cast members from her psychic hold. Wanda chases him around shooting him with hex bolts. The stage is starting to be destroyed.
"This is why I never start filming on the same day as casting. . ." Raven trails.
She looks around. Rogue and Remy are arguing again. This time, amazingly, it's only about how much Cayenne pepper to put into Seafood Gumbo. Piotr and Kitty are hiding behind a rack of costumes, making out. Lance is slowly moving the rack away for everyone to see. Toad is chasing Wanda who is still chasing Pyro. Duncan and Taryn are trying to escape. Jean is trying to comfort Scott, who is crying for fear of what's to come. Kurt is hanging from the ceiling. Evan is still lying where he fell. Ororo is trying to tend to his wounds. Xavier and Magneto are arguing loudly about the nature of humans versus mutants. Ray, Roberto, Sam, and Bobby are fighting, while Rahne, Jubilee, Tabby, and Amara watch and laugh at them. Mystique is trying to read something on her laptop. Sabretooth and Wolverine are demolishing everything and everyone else.
Raven shakes her head. "Why do we keep doing this?"
"Rabid fangirls." Lightning says.
"Oh, yeah, now I remember. . ." Raven shudders, "Squirrels and dead chickens. . ."
"Yeah. . . but we can go now." Lightning says, extending his hand.
"Lets." She takes his offered hand and they are gone. As are we. . .
A/N:
(2)That would be from Mister Roger's Neighborhood, which I do not own either.
(3) This nickname was born mostly because of Cat2Fat900, who claims it was my idea. . . lol
Well, I hope you all like the casting, and the arguments. I have so much inspiration for this one, even though it's one of my least favorite Disney movies. So please review to get the first scene. . .
Translation:
(1) "But dear, You look very good in those dresses."