4Disclaimer: This story is based on characters of the anime/manga created and owned by Hajime Yatate and Yoshiyuki Tomino. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
He is gone… I just sat there and let him die… How could I…?
Athrun Zala floated down the corridor of the ZAFT vessel he was forced to remain on. At 16 years of age, Athrun had seen more than enough of war for his liking, but he stayed in the military (can you even call it that?) because he saw it as his duty to protect PLANT and his loved ones. His mother was killed in the Bloody Valentine. He remembered how scared he was that day.
He had promised that he would not let anyone he cared for die again… I guess I broke that promise, huh? He thought grimly.
Today on the battle field, Nicol Amarfi died in the struggle between Coordinators and Naturals. Nicol had only been 15 years old and the green haired boy died saving him. Him. Athrun Zala. Nicol died for me to carry on…
At this point, Athrun was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn't see the figure in front of him. The two collided together before either knew what was happening. Grunting, Athrun's nose was rammed into the back of the other's head. Who ever it was, it was a boy. Athrun knew the moment he pressed his left hand to the wall for support and wrapped his right one around the other's front to keep them from banging into anything. He felt a flat chest under smooth fabric.
Pulling back, he let go of the other person and looked up to see who it was.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't watching wher—" he stopped mid-sentence. Blinking at the other male he said, "Yzak?" The 17 year old looked up with an irritated growl.
"Yes Zala. Look where you're going next time," Yzak told him, glaring hard. He did not want to face the blunette at the moment, but he never turned down the opportunity to yell at Athrun. Said boy's eyes narrowed.
"You're one to talk," he shot back. Yzak rolled his eyes.
"Yes I am. I saw you when I rounded the corner and moved to the other side of the hallway!" Yzak said, pointing in the direction Athrun had came, then to the corner behind him and to his left—were he came from. Athrun blinked at him.
"Oh," was all he could really think of at the moment. Yzak stared at him and smirked.
"Okay. Either your eyes are watering or you were crying. Most likely the latter," the silver haired boy's smirk widened as Athrun gasped a little and bit his lip. "Knew it." Yzak, at this time, mentally jumped for joy. He had finally found a weakness to Athrun Zala! But one thing bugged him…
Pushing himself up into the air, Yzak let the gravity-less hallway leave him floating, his back almost touching the ceiling. Looking back down to Athrun, he smirked, again.
"So… Why?" He asked simply. He was not really expecting an answer but… Athrun looked at him for a moment then closed his eyes with a tired sigh. Opening them again, he glanced up at Yzak.
"… Nicol…"
Yzak did not say anything, merely staring blankly at the younger boy. Athrun shifted nervously under his gaze. He then snorted.
"Okay. So the kid's dead; big whoop. We have bigger things to worry about. Like the Earth Alliance itself, for one. They got away… again. We need to find them and take them down once and for all. You slacking off isn't going to help! We have a job, Zala. I for one will make sure we do it… Hey! Are you listening to me!" Yzak glared at Athrun and waved a hand in front of his face—no reaction. "Zala!" Said boy blinked and then looked away for a moment. Moving his gaze back to the older boy he frowned.
"So the kid's dead; big whoop. That's all?" Yzak frowned. He didn't understand what Athrun meant. Shrugging, he pointed mockingly at the blunette.
"Yes. You have a problem. I already said we have bigger problems; the Earth Alli—" Athrun reached up and grabbed the collar of Yzak's uniform. Bringing the boy down a little he also lifted himself off the floor. Glaring at the older boy he yelled at him.
"Nicol's dead! Don't you care!" Yzak stared at him. "Nicol's dead and all you can do is shrug and say-say- that!" Athrun's eyes were watering again and Yzak just stared at him still shocked at his loud outburst. Closing his eyes, Yzak took a deep breath. He normally went into fits of rage and Dearka was always there to calm him down. But the blonde was not here and it was Athrun who was angry, not him.
Really is a first time for everything. Yzak had no real idea on how to calm a person down, so he did was he thought he should and prayed it was right.
Reaching down, he touched Athrun's trembling hands and opened his eyes.
"Yes," he said simply. Athrun growled and pulled his right hand back and fisted it ready to punch in his rage. Yzak frowned and reached up, now with his left hand, and covered the blunette's fist. "What do you want me to do?"
Athrun stared at him now.
"Wha?"
"I asked what you want me to do. Cry? Scream in anguish? Punch the wall? Yell at you; the world for taking the boy away? What, damnit? What!" The silver haired boy sounded desperate now. Athrun looked at him and gasped a little. He saw it. What Yzak was hiding under the act of not giving a damn.
Yzak was lost.
He did not know what to do.
Part of him wanted to scream and punch the wall.
The other wanted to cry.
Another part wanted to blame the world and the Strike.
Athrun stayed silent. Then, sighing, he let go of Yzak and stared at the wall.
"I… I don't know what I want you to do, I just want to know that you care."
"… Well, I… do. I just…" Yzak trailed off and when Athrun looked back at him the platinum blonde was staring at the ground.
"Yzak?" Yzak's hands fisted and he grabbed Athrun's shoulders and stared into the boy's emerald eyes, his own icy blue ones glazed over with desperation and insecurity.
"I just don't know how to handle it!" the older boy screamed out. He then blinked and his eyes widened. Yzak looked horrified. He let go of Athrun and pushed away from him. "I- I have to go," he said in a hurried manner. Athrun quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Turning the boy around, he used his left hand to lift Yzak's face. The boy's eyes were closed and he looked sad.
"You don't know how to handle what?" he asked softly, yelling was not going to help him now. Yzak's eyes opened but he didn't look at him, just the wall.
"Nicol's death," he said in a quiet voice. Yzak slowly brought his gaze to land on Athrun's chin—he could not look him in the eye at the moment, it would give away too much. "I'm not used to… having friends. I never… talked to him, but he made the effort and… I rewarded him with small conversations. Nothing big, but…" He could not say anymore. His throat was tight and his mouth dry. He was choking on too much emotion.
Athrun bit his lip and quickly wrapped his arms around the platinum blonde. Yzak gasped and tensed up, but the younger boy just smiled and held him close waiting for him to relax.
"I don't know what to do either. But you're not alone. Okay?" Yzak silently nodded, wrapping his arms around Athruns waist and burring his face in the blunette's chest.
The next day, nothing was mentioned. The day dragged on, Yzak blowing fits and yelling at Athrun as the younger boy calmly took it all. It all seemed normal, not minding the fact that one important thing was missing; the quiet, innocent presence of one sweet boy.
And at the end of it all, Yzak and Athrun looked at each other before going to bed.
"I'm always here. Just don't push me away," Athrun whispered with a smile and slipped into his room. Yzak paused and looked at the already sleeping Dearka.
"I won't… promise. Just don't leave, too."
And with that, they crawled into their beds and slept knowing they had someone there for them.