19Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Just this plot and the imagination that came up with it; no matter what my mother says.
Authors Note: This will be relatively short. A few chapters maybe, and I'm not sure how frequent the updates will be (I'm putting 70 of my concentration on another story). But I just felt like writing this. It may be a little OOC, let me know what you think.
Summary: Manny's dead. Now Emma has to keep alive the pieces of her that were left alive. She's loosing it, taking everything Manny did to the extreme. Who will be there to pull her back? Jemma.
Filler: I don't know how old the people in Degrassi are, but now they're seniors or something. Jay wasn't part of the shooting. But Sean is gone! Ha, I made a rhyme betcha can't do that!
Stepping Away
Manny fell so hard. Shattered her life and left Emma to keep her soul alive. Emma knew it, she knew it every second she kissed a guy, every time she put on a shirt with a dangerously low neckline, Manny hadn't wanted to die. So Emma sacrificed her own self and hijacked Manny's personality.
Everytime she doubted herself she just thought about what had happened. Who had died, why'd they died. And instantly she took a step forward, pushed herself harder.
Emma knew the teachers worried and her parents worried. The shooting and now this? They constantly questioned how she was doing, thinking that how she dressed and the slight shift in personality was a small price.
But they were wrong. Because they didn't know the reasons behind her sudden change, didn't know why one day she just stopped crying and bought a thong. They didn't know how happy Emma was when she'd gotten Manny's clothes.
But they didn't try to find out either, just went on with their own lives. Manny was the only one who cared about Emma, now Emma had to repay her. Even if she wasn't there to see it happen.
"So wanna go out Friday night?" Emma leaned forward on the desk in a flirtatious manner. A year later after Manny's death it was safe to go after him, and to go through with it.
Craig looked up from his worksheet and arched an eyebrow, but smiled slightly. "Where?"
"Anywhere." Ashley was eyeing Emma from across the room, and Emma enjoyed her icy glance. Knowing she was getting to her by getting to her ex made something jump inside her. Manny liked jealously, she liked to know she was a threat. And Emma liked to know she was being like Manny.
"Well, my bands playing tonite, but you can watch. Then we can go out after." He smiled wider, giving her a flirtatious grin.
"Perfect."
Ashley watched that vulture move in on Craig, and began to hate Emma a little more. No matter what happened between them, Ashley would never think of Craig as some trashy blonde's toy.
Emma was the trashy blonde, and she seemed to strongly believe that Craig was her toy. You fooled around with it for a while, than sold it to someone else at a garage sale.
But a part of Ashley hated herself for hating Emma. After what had happened she deserved the right to be torn up inside, but to take out her hurt on every decent looking guy in Degrassi was over the top.
Ashley watched Emma as she walked away satisfied, her see through shirt revealing a decked out bra.
Something had changed in Emma, but Ashley didn't care what it was. She just wanted the old Emma to peek out of the shadows and say she was okay.
She'd recently taken up dancing. It was a way to free the old Emma, without ruining the Manny threatening to take over.
Emma danced everytime chance she got, she loved to go out into the woods on rainy, dark nights with a walkman and dance uncontrollably. It was easy to do, and you didn't really have to be good at it to do it.
And here she was now standing in the pouring rain with mascara running down her cheeks shaking her hips slightly as she leaned on the tree for support, to stop her thoughts from weighing her down.
Best of You threatened to break her eardrums. But she didn't care; the drums provided a good rhythm to sway mindlessly to.
Dancing was her way to abandon the world, before she abandoned herself.
Craig had been utterly silent the whole night. Not even bothering to kiss her good night, she hadn't gotten what she wanted that night and she'd used her best material. Mostly focusing her around her clingy shorts.
The only words he said all night were the lyrics he sang and he spoke to Emma only in one-word reply to what she'd said.
But Emma wasn't finished, she tried to be stubborn and push herself like Manny would have. But it was hard; especially when what she wanted to do was destroy Craig's ego, but it would be Manny's way of getting back at him.
New words swam through Emma's mind, "I miss you." And she was lulled to sleep by thinking those words, in a silent lullaby.
"I hear you've taken on a new image." Jay said as Emma approached her locker, she wouldn't get access to it though. Not until Jay moved out of his position, he had leaned on her locker expertly denying her entrance.
Emma sighed. "Maybe." She wouldn't give him straight answers; she wouldn't give him anything beyond one-word answers. Even when she wanted to give him a string of four letter words.
"Hooked up with every guy in school. Didn't even exclude me." He had that whole bad-boy thing going on, taking the wittiness out of comments. Making them serious and hard.
"Move." It was as close to a real four-letter word she could get. She hated him, with a passion.
"Do you have a sign up sheet?" He frowned dangerously. Annoyed obviously.
"What do you want?"
"I wanna know what the hell the environments going to do without you." He arched an eyebrow, and looked anxious to leave. Yet, he was here.
"The environment will do fine thanks." But still he stayed. Not swayed by her answer. "Please. Leave." She whispered pleading. In a way, she was afraid of him and that gave the Emma she used to know a chance of escape.
He leaned forward, cold and hard. Staring at her with his eyes narrowed, "Last time I checked you were nature's biggest fan."
"Last time I checked I hated you." She hissed trying to get him to back off.
"Last time I checked you weren't Manny that many girl."
He strolled away after that, leaving Emma gawking. But she pulled herself together fast, because no matter what anyone said Manny would live on, somehow. Even if Emma had to ensure it herself.
A/N: This is a lot darker than my other fics. Wow, I'm scaring myself. It's almost creepy. Anyway, push the review button please, I want to know if your reading this. And tell me what you think, I don't mind constructive criticism. Oh, but say a little more than "Update". That ticks me off, I'd rather have no reviews than twelve of those.