Ok, so those of you who read Chapter three of The Plan know that I promised Sirius I would let him re-write chapter 5. The actual chapter is here, and this ISNT A CHAPTER! THIS IS NOT THE END, I TELL YOU! Well, after I told him he could, I gave him chapter 5 and this is what he wrote and gave back to me. From this point on it's all Sirius. He wrote it. Not me.


Yes, everybody. I, the great and talented Sirius Black, has written a chapter. Ok, so Princess, as she likes to call herself, has insulted me. She makes it look as if I cannot win the heart of one Remus Lupin. So, I borrowed her chapter, and re-wrote to how it should be. So, lets get on with it!

The Plan: Chapter 5

By the oh-so talented Sirius Black.

That day was weird for everyone. The fabulous Sirius Black had been kissed by Remus. And the whole school knew.

All of Sirius's screaming fan-girls had rushed to him to ask if it was true that he and Remus were dating. The real reason they asked is because they just wanted a minute in the presence of the oh-so-talented Sirius.

Sirius had detention that night, because he, being as great as he was, punched a Slytherin and got away with only a detention from McGonagall. He knew it was because she was secretly in love with him. As was Madam Hooch, as he had figured out on a previous (rather disturbing) occasion when the professor jumped him in the Quidditch showers after he- ok lets not go there. -shudders-

James Potter, the official best friend of Sirius, had devised a plan. Being as great as the Marauders were, they had figured out that their dear friend, Remus, had quite the crush on some Ravenclaw whose name Sirius cant seem to remember. Oh well, she's not important in this story.

So, the plan that the mighty Prongs had come up with was this: Sirius, with his suave personality, would pretend to date Remus, until the Ravenclaw was so incredibly jealous, that she had to have Remus for herself. Honestly, what a stupid plan, what if it back-fired and she fell for Sirius, which was more likely to happen, as he was quite irresistible. But that's not what we are here to discuss!

The four Marauders were currently in the Great Hall, Sirius was waiting to go to his detention. When the time finally came, he stood and kissed his fake boyfriend good-bye. Apparently, Sirius was in love with his fake boyfriend, so this kiss left him rather dazed for quite sometime, so when Sirius left the hall, he didn't notice his fan-girls worshipping the ground he had just walked on.


During detention Sirius Fabulous Black had to sort some papers. That was proof that McGonagall was secretly in love with him. He PUNCHED someone and that was all he had to do. Luckily though, she did not try to get in his pants while he was there. (Unlike a certain Professor whose name shall not be mentioned) McGonagall obviously had a lot of self control, because Sirius was utterly, utterly delicious.

He made his way back to the Gryffindor Common Room, making several girls, and two guys, swoon just by him walking past.

He reached his normal chair by the fire in the Common Room to find a first year in it. All Sirius had to do was look at the small girl and she was out of his chair in a second, because Sirius was, after all, so respected and admired that he scared the first years.

He sat and watched his friends do their homework.

"Sirius?" James asked.

"Yeah?" Sirius replied,

"Because you are so smart, beautiful and talented, can you help me with my homework?"

"Sorry, James, but I can't." Sirius said.

"Oh, that's okay. You're still the one everybody worships." James went back to doing his work.

"Sirius?" This time it was Remus.

"Yes?" I Sirius asked, smiling at his fake boyfriend-who-he-was-in-love-with-but-couldn't-get-into-his-pants.

"Can I talk to you? Alone?" The most perfect being who ever graced the earth nodded, and followed Remus up the stairs and into their dorm.

"Okay, fake boyfriend, what would you like?" Sirius asked.

The fake boyfriend blushed and looked at his feet. He was obviously unsure of how to say what he wanted to.

"I think I know what you want to say." Sirius said.

"You do?" Remus replied, his blush increasing.

"Yes. I, being the great Sirius Black, has won your heart. Today, since pretending to be my boyfriend, you have fallen in love with me, and now wish to run away with me." Sirius said.

Remus nodded.

"Yes. Sirius, I am in love with you. If you were trying to seduce me, how could I not fall victim to the charm that is Sirius?" Remus stated, moving closer.

Remus must have decided that Sirius was to irresistible to ignore, because he kissed him. It was a simple kiss, but Sirius was I-stare-at-Remus-in-the-shower, I-miss-my-mouth-with-my-fork-because-I'm-staring-at-you, head over heels in love, he enjoyed it and wanted more.

Then Sirius and Remus started a relationship and the girl in Ravenclaw was completely forgotten about and this story proves that Sirius is better than Princess because it doesn't doubt Sirius's seducing powers.

The End.


Princess: Riiiiiiight.

Sirius: So? How brilliant was that!

Princess: And you still claim you aren't in love with Remus?

Sirius: Is Remus here?

-Both look for Remus-

Princess: Nope.

Sirius: If I tell you, will you promise not to tell him?

Princess: Maybe…

Sirius: -Whispers- Yes.

Princess: -SQUEE-

Sirius: Did you just "squee?" What on earth is squee?

Princess: Can I tell him?

Sirius: No, and there is NO evidence that I ever said it.

Princess: Okay, I wont tell him. -cough-

Sirius: Promise?

Princess: Sure. Wait a second, what on earth happened between you and Madam Hooch?

Sirius: Okay, everybody who read this, the greatness that is me, Sirius, says thanks!

Princess: For everybody who cant see him, Sirius just turned purple and changed the topic.