Title: A girl named Lindsay

Disclaimer: I do not own The O.C. What a shock!

Author's Note: I got bored. And I like to see Marissa suffer. I know, i know, I'm evil...

And just so you know, the whole Theresa situation never happened.

Lindsay. He is dating a girl named Lindsay.

I see them in school every singel day. They look cute togheter. Holding hands in the

cafeteria. Eating lunch togheter under a tree. Exchaning sweet kisses when they think

that nobody is watching. And it I hurts. It hurts a lot.

Because It used to be me and him. Ryan and Marissa. Now it is them. Ryan and Lindsay.

And he looks happy with her. How can he be happy with anybody else, when I am

feel like someone ripped my heart out? How can he move on so fast? Didn't I mean

anything to him? Didn't he love me at all?

Yeah, I am bitter. So what? Don't I have a reason to be bitter?

I need a drink. Or something stronger.

Lindsay. What does he see in her? Good looks? Well, I got that. Brains? I am not exctly

stupid . Humour? I can be funny. A bed companion? He dosent have to ask me twice.

So why? Can someone tell that? What does she have that I don't? A sane family?

Don't think so. Her father is Caleb Nichol. You can't have a sane family if Caleb Nichol is

a part of it.

Money? Please. Judging from her clothes she is not exactly swimming in money.

I don't get it. I just don't.

She is nothing special. She is just a normal girl. Just plain fucking normal.

Then why? Why god dammit!

I hear the screams in my head.

I know that I am driving myself crazy asking all this questions.

And still. I need to know. I just need to know.

What's so special with Lindsay Gardner?

I really don't know. And it is not like i can ask him. But everytime she is near him he gives

her a hungry look. A wanting look. And I know that was a time when he used

to look at me that way. And I used to get hot all over because that look is pure lust. Pure

want.

And now he looks at her that way. With the same want. With the same lust. With the

same fire in his eyes.

But it is more than just lust. More than just sex. I can see it in his eyes. In his smiles. In

the way he carries her bag. In the way he helps her with the silly little things. He is falling

in love.

And she knows it. When she gives him that sweet I-think-i-love-you-to smileit feels like

my heart is dying just a little bit more.

Summer's worried about me. I can see it in her eyes. Worried that I'm going to do

something stupid.

And maybe I am.

Ryan does not look at me anymore. He does not talk to me. For him I don't exist.

And I can't really blame him. I hurt him so many times.

But I still love him. I still care what he thinks of me.

And I still miss him. Every day. Sometimes i dream about him. About us. And I wake up

happy. But then I remember and I cry.

I am insanely jealous. Not just of Lindsay. But of everyone that he loves. Seth. Sandy. All

the Cohens. I am even jealous of Summer. Because she is able to speak to Ryan.

Because she is happy. With Zach.

I am not happy. With anyone.

But Ryan is happy. With a girl named Lindsay.