Let Me Fall
AN: Okay so this is my very first "Instant Star" fan-fiction. I'm probably the few first people to write one, and considering so far we've only seen about 9 episodes, I hope you guys like it. This is all of the top of my head. I don't have a beta so all mistakes are mine. Enjoy!
Chapter 1: Vacation is All I Ever Wanted
Usually when you fall for an older guy it's more of a girly crush then anything, it's an ego booster to have an older guy like you back, but of course once in a while you make the biggest mistake and fall really hard, so hard that you can probably label it with the big L word.
Of course that wasn't what Jude felt for her oh so sexy and suave producer, no she just had a really bad crush on him, if only she could turn the clock on herself and grow up for him, to see if there would be a chance where she could have a shot at something great with a great guy who sometimes forgets that not even he can act mature all the time.
Sometimes when you think that you have over come some crazy dream and finally had it come true another one presents itself to you, and for Jude it was Tommy Q. He was that dream for her now. If only things weren't as complicate, if there was so many rules maybe he could be attainable, what sucks more then not having it was the fact that he was some what interested.
For now she could only hope that something will happen suddenly, or until she could build a time machine of something, she'll just have to deal with the fact that life was fair and she was just getting the start of it. Knowing that she couldn't keep things as she did in her daydreams was a kick to reality but sometimes it didn't hurt to want more even if you're given enough. Like they say satisfaction is the death of desire, guess she wasn't satisfied all the way just yet.
It started out a regular Saturday morning, as she looked around her bedroom, the sheets were nice and warm around, she wondered what the great fate had planned for her, after all that happened to her there was always this nagging feeling that something else was waiting to happen to her, and it wasn't something to look forward to either. First Shay, then Tommy, and oh the heart breaking news flash that her father was cheating, and then the news that her best friends were seeing each other.
Never had she felt so utterly alone as she did these days. Saying that it's me again the world didn't really have the effect she wanted. Had she always been such a baby? She snorted as she pushed the sheets out of the way and sat up in bed, looking down at her feet. She was getting all analytical of the situation.
"Jude honey are you awake?" her mother knocked softly on her door.
"Yeah mom, I'm up." She called, 'I'm finally up from the daydream I been living.'
Today was the day that Georgia had a surprise for her; she made it to the bathroom doing her usual ritual of brushing her teeth, taking a shower, and then dressing. Once she had her make up done she was down stairs, where her mom drank her coffee and Sadie sat with a bowl of cereal. It was quiet without her father gone for almost a week now.
"Morning." Called Sadie looking through the latest issue of Vogue.
Jude sat down beside her and nodded, "morning."
"What's the plan?" Sadie asked.
"Rehearsals, then meeting with Georgia."
Her mother finally spoke up, "I'll give you a ride."
"Yeah sure, thanks mom."
Oh yeah family life was okay, everything went as wonderfully as on the teen angst drama filled shows. Only for her it was real and this was her life crumbling with every minute.
"You're kidding right!" asked Jude as she looked at the plane ticket.
Georgia smiled, "No, I'm serious you really need a break, and Madame Gabon wants someone knew for her line, so you'll be still working a bit. Tommy is going to go with you. I already spoke to your mom and she decided its fine, and an add bonus is that Sadie is also going. I will be meeting with you at the end of this month for more work."
Jude stared almost dumbfounded at Georgia and Tommy who smiled at her, "oh this is awesome! I can't believe it. Thank you Georgia for everything." She said as she threw her arms around the woman.
Patting her back she slowly pulled away, "so I got a board meeting to get to, so see ya kids later. Get packed Jude you leave tomorrow afternoon." With that she was gone.
Jude shrugged and smiled at Tommy, "Thanks a lot for agreeing to this, I mean I know you probably had some hand in this, so thanks."
"What no hug, no overly dramatic thank you?" he joked with a smile and arms wide open.
Jude grabbed her jacket and backpack, "No Quincy, not this time. I think I had enough drama to last me a while." She walked towards the door and smiled, "but I can say thank you from the bottom of my heart, or what's left of it anyway. See ya I gotta go grab Sadie and start packing."
"Let me give you a ride, we have something to talk about." He said grabbing his own leather jacket that made him look sexy to bits.
She for a second protested but suddenly went against and nodded, "sure."
They walked to his viper; she got in and waited for him. The drive was mostly quite but when she noticed that he made a left turn inside of a right which took her home, she knew that something was seriously up.
"What do we have to talk about?" she asked
"I won't be your producer for your next album." He slowly said as he licked his bottom lip.
Jude just stared out the window, "wow! No wonder you're doing this whole Italy thing."
"It's not like that; I wanted to do something nice for you. But I think me quitting is a good move for both of us." He said softly. "I'm sorry."
"That's going to become you're jingle soon." She didn't accept or disagree with it but something at the pit of her stomach told her there was more. "And…I'm guessing there's more bombshells that you're planning to drop on me so go ahead don't stop now."
Tommy chuckled lightly, "how do you read me so well Jude Harrison."
She folded her arms over her chest, "I don't know it's a curse."
He watched her for a while then came the thing that made her want to choke. "Sadie and I are seeing each other officially."
She scuffed her cry, "oh this is rich, drive me home Tommy."
"Just take me home, or I'll get out and take a cab."
He drove her home no more word exchanged; she rushed out of the car in through the front door, up the stairs into her bedroom and onto her bed. The tears that she held back now free to run down her cheeks, it felt good to let go. The world was officially was coming to an end for Jude's romantic life, and forget about her professional one.
He sat in his car watching the window which he knew to be her bedroom, and found his throat dry, he wished he could have said something different something else, he single handedly ruined the joy he saw in her eyes when she held her ticket. Now the question was how she was going to react, would she still go to this trip and if she did could she survive a thirteen hour flight with him, and Sadie. Yes its official Tom Quincy has screwed up royally.
Sadie knocked on her door twice before opening it and poking her head in. could she blame her sister? She would have liked too but it wouldn't change the fact that she was legal and could date her producer, that he wanted her, or that she was her sister.
"I'm fine, don't worry. Are you packed for tomorrow afternoon?" she asked looking up from where she was slowly throwing folded clothing into a suite case.
"I'm almost packed, but that's not what I came to say-"
"Look Sadie I'm okay, let's not talk about it. I give you my blessing but I'm going to have ask you to leave me alone about you and Quincy." She sighed and rubbed her temple, "look as long as it doesn't mess with any of us, I'm okay that you're dating."
Her blonde head bopped and she smiled, "so need help picking out clothes to wear?"
Jude smiled in spite of herself, "sure, come on in."
They shared a few laughs packed, and when she knew she couldn't hold on to the façade any longer she decided that it's time for bed. Her mother came in with pizza a little while later, but she said she wasn't hungry and went about packing.
Later the next day when they were at the airport she said nothing to Tommy, she needed time but being in a plane with someone you needed time away from usually messed with your head. She ignored the two and watched the movie, the whole 13 hour flight she didn't have her head phones off.
Tommy watched her the whole time, he knew he hurt her and damn it made him feel sick from watching her this way, but the least he could do is give her space.
"This is Michael Chiorelle." Introduced Tommy with a smile.
"Buon-giorno." He smiled as he extended a hand towards Jude first, "Nice to meet you."
Jude smiled at Michael the very tall dark and handsome friend of Tommy's who had a large villa they were going to stay at. His green eyes and black hair was sexy with his rouged twenty-four year old body. He was naturally charismatic and nice. "I'm Jude Harrison, and it's a pleasure Michael."
Jude cooed with each panoramic scenery that they past, as she made small comments with a smile that hardly weaver since they left the air port. Tommy enjoyed the fact that she liked it as much as he knew she would. What irked him was her open embrace of Michael. From the very first smile he knew that this was going to be a problem he was going to have to deal with all through the trip. Looking at Sadie who sat beside him with her hand in his, and then looked to the passenger side where Jude laughed and pointed at things to which Michael made his charming answers. Oh this was definitely going to be a problem all right.
They arrived at the large stone villa which looked antiquely beautiful as the ones that Jude saw on the history channel one time. Michael told them about the area, they were in Tuscany north of Siena, around Lucca-Pisa, the area was called Fauglia and the name of the villa was Santa Caterina. She squealed and followed after Michael who showed them around. Jude smiled through the tour and squealed when she saw her bedroom, it was a large open room with a queen size canopy bed with white cotton sheets that moved slightly with the breeze that came from the large windows, the room had just few pieces of furniture but the yellow of the room, the many wonderful paintings and large windows made the room look beautiful.
"Are you serious that's my room?" Jude looked at Michael.
Michael laughed at her child like excitement, "Of course bella, it's yours."
Tommy mentally made sure to pull aside Michael and tell him not to encourage Jude with his easy flirtations. Sadie who held his hand also smiled and showed her approvable of the beautiful villa. But it was when Michael turned towards Sadie and him and asked if they wanted the same bedroom, he thought he could kill his old friend.
Sadie blushed slightly but remained quiet. Tommy looked towards Jude who stared at him for a second before going into her room and looking around as if it didn't matter to her that he was being questioned about his intimacy level with her sister.
"I think it will be best if we each have our own bedroom." He answered. Sadie nodded her agreement though he could tell she was disappointed.
Michael nodded, "of course well then Tom you can have the one you
Always use, and Sadie you can have this one across from Jude."
Sadie smiled and nodded as she finally released Tommy's hand and peeked inside, she was happy with her room, it was beautiful just as Jude's.
Tommy and Michael disappeared to get their bags from the living room, and she had the chance to see Jude alone, it seemed that she was taking the whole thing quite well. Though she must be hurt, she seemed to be acting like an adult and taking things quite well. But still there was that nagging feeling in the back of her mind that told her that she was coming in between something.
"Hey do you like your room?" she asked as she leaned against Jude's door frame.
"I love it, I mean look at this place. It's so beautiful out here." Jude smiled as she gave a spin of her room. "I think this vacation is going to be great and Michael is so nice."
Sadie smiled, "yeah he is and cute too."
Jude laughed, "Yeah he is, but I think I'm laying low for a while, I just want to let my skin breathe from all that's been going on the past year."
"Yeah I know what you mean-listen Jude I…um-"
"Jude are you going to come down and try my pasta?" asked Michael as he placed her luggage down next to her door. "Did Tom tell you that I cook a mean pasta."
Jude laughed, "sure, I'm a bit hungry but after food is sleep, I have jet leg so bad." She moved her luggage next to the bed, "give five minutes while I change and I'll be down, and I'll see how mean your pasta can be."
Michael laughed, "Sure, I'll set the table for all of you."
Sadie smiled and headed towards her room, from the door she saw as Tommy knocked on the door to Jude's room. She knew it was wrong but sometimes a week heart made you do stupid things.
"Jude, are we okay?" he asked.
"We're fine Tommy, be happy and I guess I wish you guys the best."
"No, that's not what I'm talking about."
"Well I don't know why you bother I mean no matter what I say you're still going right?"
"What you say does matter to me, it matters more then you know. I mean we get each other that's why this worked for us."
"Yet you're the one who wants to run when it gets tough."
"Don't say sorry Quincy, it's doesn't suite your style. Michael is waiting."
Sadie closed the door quickly, she didn't need to hear anything more, but she comforted herself with the knowledge that he wanted her, that's why he gave into her after all. Yeah and other then that Jude has everyone if she took Tommy what difference would it make?
The food was great, Jude had two plates and still she found her mouth water at the smell, they sat out on the patio where a table for eight was set, but there was enough food to feed a small town. They joked and ate, though the tension was low key it was still detectable.
"I'll give it to you Michael you can defiantly make a mean pasta." Laughed Jude as she sat rubbing her belly with satisfaction.
"Why grazie Jude, it makes my heart jump with joy that you think so." His light Italian accent so sexy that Jude blushed. "So tell me Tom what are the plans?"
Tommy shrug, "here to relax, as well as do a little work, Madame Gabon asked for Jude to walk for the Milan fashion week, and of course we'll be reviewing a couple of singles. But mostly relaxing, this is a vacation after all."
Michael nodded, "yes I worked with Madame Gabon a few times, and she's wonderful. And what about you Sadie what will you do?"
Sadie didn't realize that she might not have much to do with Jude and Tommy working, "I suppose I will be the supportive sister and girl friend."
Jude stood slowly, "well guys it was a great meal, thank you so much Michael, but I'm hitting the sack."
Michael frowned, "and here I was hoping we can do something."
Jude smiled, "if you still want to in a couple of hours, then sure but right now I can hardly keep my eyes open."
Michael nodded, "I'll keep you to that promise, have a nice sleep."
Jude nodded as she waved at her sister and Tommy. How was it possible that the two closest people to her somehow seemed further? This time around she was going to make a change, she was going to make sure that Tommy couldn't have thelast word and make her promise things she couldn't keep. Those were the last thoughts as she hit the bed and sighed. Michael was a nice guy if only she could just turn from one older guy to the next she'd be Eden.
She chuckled and drifted to a dream world where she was a rock princess and her prince was waiting for her, and along the way there was her evil sister and rival, old suitors, and best friends, and of course the dangerous path we call life.
Two days went by and Tommy made sure he took up all her time, by making her do all her work, with the excuse that if she got it out of the way then she wouldn't have to do it later. It was typical for him to parent her through this. Jude didn't talk to him unless it was necessary mean while she slowly grew close to Michael who was great at everything it seemed, the guy knew how to cook, clean, be charming, and play the guitar.
He knew how to fence, and even agreed to give her a few lessons; they drove to Rome or the Vatican. They saw all the great attractions, and ate at some of the finest restaurants recommended by Michael. Sadie and she got to bond over shopping and hot out of the even pizza and ice cream.
They caught a street performance, she was inspired from all over, and though it wasn't her thing usually she checked out the museum and galleries, met with Madame Gabon briefly over dinner with Tommy. It was when they were walking through the streets of Rome that night that she decided she couldn't do it without him, she needed him to be the star she was, because he was her muse. She needed him to know that, for him to know that she'll gladly give him up romantically if it meant she could have him forever as a friend and a person who helped her make it to the top.
Sometimes you have to accept things as they are, so in the name of good sport and not being a sore loser, she walked confidently up to Tommy as he sat with a guitar by the water.
"Hey" she called with a smile.
"Hey yourself, shouldn't you still be in bed?" he asked looking up at her as he hugged the guitar to his chest.
Giving him an eye roll she took a seat beside him, "Look I came to tell you that you don't have to quite, I won't bother you anymore and I accept that you're dating Sadie, its fine with me. I mean I know when I should give up, and I think I put up a pretty good fight." She couldn't look at him so she looked ahead at the sun that was slowly rising above the water.
"That's what you came to tell me in the break of dawn?" he asked slowly putting the guitar down.
"Well this is the only time I can do this and not have people around; I mean come on Jude Harrison admitting defeat is bad for my image." She joked lamely. It was heart breaking that this was an amazingly romantic moment and she was sitting here telling probably her biggest crush that she didn't care if he liked her sister better then her, and it was okay if they dated. 'I'm such a loser…can't even let him walk away.'
Tommy looked at her profile for a second before looking ahead towards the raising sun. "I shouldn't stay Jude, we're too personal and-"
"I can behave; I promise this time around I won't mess up. No more moves, you can rest in peace but I don't think I can do it without you. I came this far because I had you." She cut in looking down at the grass. "I thought hard about what I wanted, and I guess I came to the conclusion that it'd be better to have you as a friend and a great producer then not have you in my life at all. I want to be grown up about this and I guess this my first step."
He sighed as he folded his arms on his knees, "you know Jude, I been an ass hole. But I really do think you're the real thing. I have a lot of faith in you, but I know one thing for sure is that you can't wish feelings away."
"I'm not pushing or wishing them away; it's more like accepting it's futile to go after something you know you'll never have. It's not being a sore loser who complains about not having things her way." She looked at him, her brilliantly red hair flying with the morning breeze.
"It's not so easy for me. It's great you're finally taking steps from detangling yourself from me, but what about me?" he asked almost as stupidly as the last time when he kissed her to prove a point to her. He was being a selfish bastard again, he knew this but he couldn't help but want to make her want to change her mind about forgetting about him.
Jude gave a frustrated sigh, "damn it Tommy I don't know what else I can possibly do. I mean I gave up as much as I can the next thing would be so we don't see each other again. In this short time we managed to form a bond, and I want to keep it."
"That bond isn't completely platonic you know." He stated sourly.
'Okay breathe, don't let him out smart you on this, you can do this.' She looked at him, "I get it okay, so I'm some kid with a crush. Believe me Tommy if I could I would take it all away. So that this bond which we have could be platonic, but you make it hard! God here I am being an adult, and you throw it in my face like I didn't think it all through."
Tommy took her hands that were flying around in between them, "Jude I didn't say that its just-look you and I shouldn't work together anymore there is always going to be feelings and boyfriends and jealousy. Why don't we save each other some hard nights and get away from each other."
Jude looked him in the eyes and gave a humorless laugh, "is that what you want? Well I'm giving it to you starting now. Have a nice life Tom Quincy." With that she stood walking away from him, this was the last straw. He wanted to get away from her that's fine, she wouldn't stop him anymore. 'I don't deserve to beg, I shouldn't have to, and I won't.'
Tommy called her name but she ignored him, better of this way. She was going to be something great he really didn't want to ruin her or his chance at doing something they both loved. He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. It wasn't even completely morning yet and already he was craving a bottle of strong liquor. He just kept messing up with her, why couldn't he say what he wants.
Later when Michael was making pancakes in the kitchen Jude offered to help, she liked him a lot more then she thought she would, he was suddenly becoming very appealing to be around and maybe now she could take his compliments to heart.
"Okay you see a true Italian breakfast consist of everything that will make your ass grow without your consent, but once in a while it's fine to indulge after all if you don't then what are you treating yourself to when life kicks you?" he said as he whisked up more batter.
Jude laughed at that, being twenty four did nothing for his humor. "I'll keep that in mind, and if I can't get into Madame Gabon's dress for the photo shoot, I'll blame it all on you." She laughed keeping her heart light, "but I have to admit this is really starting to smell great."
"It sure does." Said Sadie as she took a seat at the breakfast bar, Tommy right behind her who gave a nod to Michael. "So what are you having Jude?"
"Everything! Look at this stuff I mean this is breakfast heaven!" she exclaimed making a sweep of the whole wheat with a jar of honey sitting next to it, a crabmeat frittata with tomatoes and herbs, and of course Michael decided to go a little American by adding chocolate chip pancakes, and Spanish omelets. Michael bumped her hips with his. "Plus I help cook."
Sadie clapped her hand lightly, "I'm proud! This has to be the first time since we got here that we didn't have to drag you out of bed, even with Michael's cooking."
Jude rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue, as Michael laughed pulling Jude into a hug, "I think slowly Jude is coming around to my cooking."
Sadie giggled, "I think slowly Jude is crushing on you Michael."
Jude threw a hand towel at Sadie, "I can't believe you just said that!"
Tommy didn't smile, he watched as her cheeks burned red, and as Michael placed his arms around her and kissed her cheek, why was it okay for Michael to touch her like that and not him, he wasn't as hungry as he thought he was, but Sadie took his hand and looked him with a smile.
"So Tom what's the plan for today?" asked Michael flipping a pancake, "Are you going to occupy all of Jude's vacation time by showing her things that could inspire her next single?"
Tommy didn't miss the innuendo behind his words, but he wasn't the one that answered it was Jude who looked at him and then turned to Michael.
"No I'm all free, if you want to do something that'll be great."
How he wished he could have shoved that spatula down this throat, he knew that Michael was competitive, but never had he been this infuriating to Tommy. He looked at Jude with the question in his eyes that only she could read, and of course he got the answer when to Michael showing the hill tops, and invited Sadie and him to join them later for a picnic.
"That would be great right Tommy?" asked Sadie squeezing his hand.
"Yeah that's be okay." He finally answered, but it wouldn't be because Jude would be all alone with Michael, anything could happen, he could- who was he kidding he saw Michael as another potential love interest, another Shay and Jamie. "But it would be a good idea if Jude and I went over the last song she wrote."
Michael patronized him by sighing, "All work and no play makes Tommy a grumpy boy. Really Tom you were always to business, take time to enjoy what you have."
'What I have is an annoying jerk like you as a friend, and a natural talent to hurt Jude Harrison.' Tommy thought almost bitterly. "It's the start of her career, and this business is tough as you know Michael seeing how you were in the business."
Michael laughed as he placed pancakes on the plate that Jude held for him, "touché Tommy, but I think Jude could take a day off, enjoy breakfast then take a walk on the beach with your girlfriend."
Tommy watched as Jude's eyes avoided his, she placed his plate down in front of him. This wasn't supposed to be happing this way. Sadie nonchalantly agreed with Michael.
"Tommy its one day, Jude will be fine. Her voice won't disappear." She said to him with a smile as she leaned in to kiss his cheek.
Jude cleared her throat, "I think I should have a say in this, and I guess Tommy is right. While he's my producer I guess I should follow his instruction, but we'll only rehearse for half an hour after breakfast then, I'm off with you Michael, and Sadie he's all yours."
Those words we're too much but he knew what he asked for, and he knew what he got. The only thing was he asked for her first.
AN: Please be nice!
Grazie: Thank you