2Disclaimer: I don't own Kelly Clarkson's beautiful disaster, all those beautiful lyrics are all her 'cause as far as I know she writes her own stuff. And no, I don't own Gilmore Girls either, I just like to use its characters and plot as a basis for my story.
A/N: It spans over a few years of Jess's and Rory's relationship… Turns a little dark toward the end. But it's still LIT and they do get together. I like to think everything turned out fine at the end… but I don't know what you'll think. I think it's happy enough. Also, I don't know how long Rory wants to go to college for so we'll just work by my rules.
Summary: Jess was gone; gone for two years. But she's going after him, two years later. Because there isn't any time limit, they have forever glowing in their hands. LIT.
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as dumb as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right
First year of Yale
"You know, one day someone might tell us to get a room. And that would be uber embarrassing." Rory said, pulling reluctantly away from Jess's lips with just enough time in between to get out her words. She'd always been a fast talker, a trait inherited from her mom.
Jess ignored her, as he always did when she was rambling incoherently. Rory could feel the eyes on them, as people passed by. Rory was pressed up against the wall, opening her eyes every once and while, just long enough to see who saw her.
Paris passed, and made a gagging motion, exaggerating it majorly since she'd seen Jess. "I guess it's better than Huntzenburger." Paris muttered as she passed. Rory was so over Logan, she'd only dated him for a month, and that was enough to drive her insane.
"Jess." Rory pulled away, pressing her hands against his chest. He looked annoyed, "I have to get into my next class. How do you get in here anyway?" Rory could never figure it out, he always seemed to be there when she was. Like a stalker—but then not. No teacher spotted him even though he was clearly there, and no guard stopped him when he entered the building. It was almost like he belonged… and he should—he deserved to be here.
Rory had caught him in the act before- no not that act- he'd lean in the doorway of class, trying to maintain his bad boy demeanor. But all the same listening intently to every word the teacher said, and then when the teacher noticed him, he'd walk away. Just like he hadn't been there at all. Leaving his cologne as the only hint his path.
Jess had such an odd way of thinking. He'd rather get caught spray-painting a church than get caught wanting to learn. But he'd already been caught, and he knew it. Yet he ignored it. Because to him Rory wasn't somebody—she was his angel side. She was him with a twist… and of a different gender. They say everyone has a twin- someone who looks eerily alike to them, and he had one, Rory. 'Cause whenever he saw her he could pick out pieces of himself in her eyes.
Oh I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
3rd year of Yale
"Jess?" Rory heard herself calling into the darkness. But the sound only echoed back to her, bouncing off the trees and entering her ears with a devastating ring. A wake-up call, no matter how many nights she waited here for him he wouldn't be there. Despite his word—he was unreliable. And no matter how many nights she came back here waiting for him she wasn't going to find him. 'Cause he wouldn't hear her. He wouldn't listen.
A year ago today he'd told her he had to leave—that he couldn't see her anymore. Due to "the circumstances." He told her that he'd be back—using the word eventually to describe the time. Rory knew she shouldn't have let him go back to Luke's… it would be to hard for him after Luke died.
Rory sat on a cold rock, waiting again, waiting still. Almost a year now. She kept coming back. It was taking a toll on her, screwing up her sleep patterns. Exhausting her and bringing a few of the grades in her classes down considerably, but he Rory had that little flicker of hope. The little flames still burning, that he'd come back.
Even though she knew he wouldn't.
He's a magical myth
As strong as with I believe
A tragedy with
More damage than a soul should see
And do I try to change him
So hard not to blame him
Hold on tight
Hold on tight
4th Year of Yale
Rory couldn't believe she was doing this. Driving into Vermont. Luke's had been closed in Stars Hollow, so Luke had moved it into Vermont—he left his Dad's sign behind. Luke was trying to expand, having got enough money to open another Luke's. Wanted to have it a fair distance from Connecticut.
Rory got Jess—she knew what he'd do out of pity and guilt over his Uncle. He'd finish the job; he'd open the store. He'd do what Luke hadn't been able to.
Rory knew what town Luke had planned on moving it too—A town just outside of Burlington. Not having to search far… 'Luke's diner'. Read a sign as soon as she got onto a quiet unbusy road. It was opened, and people went in and out of it. Rory was excited now, anxious and teary.
So many memories…
Rory slammed the door of her car and ran into Luke's. She looked around for a familiar face—for Jess's face.
But didn't find it amongst the jumble. Rory wasn't going to screw around in here looking for him. She marched straight up to a nearby waiter and got straight to the point, "Does Jess Mariano work here? Or do you know of him?" The waiter looked shocked by her outburst, then immediately calm, then sad, then he got a look of recognition on his face.
"Ma'am Jess Mariano doesn't work here anymore. He went back to his town." What? His town? What town? Jess had so many homes and so many reasons to be at each. But one stood out.
"Stars Hollow?" Hope burned in Rory's eyes.
"I think that's the one, he's tending to the Luke's up there to."
Rory left the store immediately. Tears burned her eyes, this wasn't Lukes. This was a restaurant that hijacked the name.
Without the key ingredient- Luke- you can't have Luke's.
Oh cuz I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
and if I could hold on
through the tears and the laughter
would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
She was back.
Back at the place her mother and her swore to return too—when it was time. Rory had long ago passed 'time'. Time had stopped, that's how long she waited. But she had to find Jess even though she was late.
She took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, having lost the drive she had before. She was stepping slowly; time going with her.
It was raining now, rain pelted her gently, and it was almost dark.
She entered the building; everything was different yet the same. Luke wasn't there. But Jess was; just like he always had been. Lorelai was sitting at the counter with a cup of coffee in her hands. It was full; untouched, Rory had never seen a full cup of coffee in Lorelai Gilmore's hands. Miss Patty and Babette sat at their table gossiping. Kirk was arguing with a man Rory had never seen before, and then there was a sign on the wall. "Always will be Luke's" it read. Simple and touching, yet meaningless to the blind eye.
Rory didn't know whom to go to first; her mom or Jess. Her mom did have to lug her around in her stomach… and she deserved a hello. But she didn't have to decide, Lorelai exited through a side door, leaving her coffee. Just like that. Gone.
"Jess," Rory whispered. He looked overworked and exhausted. He'd lost his glow, but then just as he lifted his head it returned. Coming out of it's hiding place.
Rory approached the counter, she got there and stared at Jess for a full minute, he kept busy washing the table. But that glow; it was back and he was ignoring it and ignoring her. Determined to stay on top.
"You came back?" Rory asked breaking the silence.
He kept his eyes on his fingernail, "You came back?" Then he raised them to meet hers. Rory hated that; she hated when guys answered questions with questions.
Rory turned to leave, knowing very well he would follow like a well-trained puppy.
I'm longing for love and the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I'm waiting for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
So long
He did she heard the door open and close seconds later, and turned to see Jess staring blankly at her. "I knew that's what you'd do." She said making her way toward him, "Go back and never come back. What about me Jess?" Rory asked tears stinging her eyes.
"What about you Rory? My uncle's dead! What was I supposed to do?" Rory fell silent. Jess kicked the trashcan.
"I'm sorry." He huffed, sounding like it was the first time he'd said it. He said it quietly, roughly.
"Me too." Rory murmured, putting her hand on the back of his neck and pulling him into a kiss. It was stormy outside, the rain fell hard on her head, driving her closer to him, looking for the comfort he provided.
"I bet Luke's smiling now." Rory muttered as Jess hugged her, she smiled at that thought of it. She smiled because Jess was hugging her, something he rarely did. She smiled 'cause Jess was here.
"I bet he's screaming at me! Telling me to step away." Jess said back; looking at her. Showing her his smile.
"You never listened to him."
Jess pulled her into another kiss; she wanted it to be easy but knew it wouldn't be. Jess would always be Jess.
And that's whom she'd waited so long for…
He's soft to the touch
But afraid at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still leaves more than I can take
Oh cuz I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster
1 Year Later
"I can't believe your back with Jess. He's crazy! You're crazy! You are becoming the ultimate bad girl Rory Gilmore, soon they'll have you arrested and put in a psycho ward." Lorelai rambled as she drank her coffee at Luke's.
A year later they were over it.
Drinking coffee at Luke's like he was still there; even the atmosphere had altered considerably.
Lorelai rambled on as always, and Rory added her comments every once in a while. Secretly watching Jess who still worked here, and wouldn't quit.
Never would he quit.
Rory was back. Jess told her to come here. Back to the place he said he'd meet her so long ago.
And then he was there two, wrapping his arms around her.
He'd kept his promise, even if it was long overdue.
"Jess. We're outside. Public!" Rory scolded as he kissed her neck.
"We're standing at the edge of the woods, next to the hard bench. Did the trees suddenly grow eyes? Because I'm not following."
Rory shook her head with a sad smile.
"Why was it so important for you to keep this promise?" She asked.
"Because." He said.
"Because why?"
"Will you not ask questions you already have the answers to Rory?" Jess questioned with a sigh.
"Jess I have to go to sleep." Rory said. Pulling further away.
But he pulled her back despite her complaints. Because he could read beyond her complaints, she wanted to feel safe in his arms. Because they were exactly alike, and this was what he wanted. So she did too, she wanted the same.
Whenever he saw her, he could pick the fallen pieces of himself out in her eyes.
He's beautiful
such a beautiful disaster