Disclaimer and other notes:
This is a non-profit work of fan-fiction. As such, I'm getting no
compensation for writing this fiction other than my own enjoyment.
This story was inspired by the last scene between Urd and Mara in "Goddess in the Mirror" a fanfic by Bart Kesey and Thomas Dye and therefore is set in an alternate Oh My Goddess universe. It happens shortly after "Goddess in the Mirror" but before "Faith & Free Will" also by Bart Kelsey and Thomas Dye. At least some of "Faith & Free Will" would be changed by my story.
Characters that I create tend to be based of real people. That makes it easier and lends a touch of 'reality' to a work of fiction. Anyone who thinks they are in the story should be flattered. But because my circle of friends is small you're probable taking the story much to seriously. This is a self insertion fic to some extent. But I don't really want a "demoness" as a girlfriend. Chii from Chobits would be nice. About the disclaimer business, I see fanfiction as a measure of an authors success. I personally would only work this hard(writing anything is hard for me) if the original story is outstanding. Email me at (Paula is my girl, she is like number 30 from 'AI love you'.) Tobor is not my last name.
"Oh, My Goddess!" characters (c) Kousuke Fujishima and only Kami-sama knows who else by now.
Chobits is the property of Clamp. It was the first manga I bought. Get it.
'AI love you' is another manga I have.
Papa John's Pizza is a real franchise, I like them.
Brett is a character in "Oh my God" a fanfic by Brett Handy. Read it if you have not done so yet.
The rest is mine.
If anyone tries to make money off this they will be cursed.
I was sued once, I cursed them. The lawyer died and the suit was dropped. True story.
The Girlfriend from Hell by George
It was 8pm on a Friday night and I had no plans. All my female friends were on dates but not with me. I was the guy they would turn to when they finally found out how much of a creep their current boyfriend was. I'd cheer them up, be a good listener, keep secrets. The whole cycle was depressing. And I am depressed right now if you had not guessed. Oh and my name is George. There is nothing exciting about my name, or me for that matter.
Well if I'm not going out I may as well order in, lessee... what is the number for Papa Johns pizza? Just as I was punching the last digit my finger slipped. Fart! (my favorite curse) I mumbled, but before I could hang up and re-dial a woman's voice came out of the phone.
Hello, you have reached the Goddess Relief Office, I'll be with you in a moment to give you relief.
Oh great, that sounded like some phone sex line. Then before I could hang-up (who knows how much this wrong connection would cost me, I thought it could be a 900 number) the phone went dead.
I was about to be blessed or maybe cursed... you judge which.
Well I am still hungry and getting a dial tone back start calling out for pizza again. As I was telling the clerk my order my computer turned itself on and booted up. Oh no, I've got some virus was my first thought. I hit the power button. The screen said "Now connecting to the MultiNet...". Not only did the computer stay on but connection was established! But I don't have a modem, this makes no sense. Wait, what the hell is the MultiNet? Next I took the battery out(I own a laptop). And watched as an unpowered computer continued to run! Downloading .gds.c2l the screen said. A pic of some babe appeared on the screen. Nice wallpaper I thought. "Hi there. Like my dress?" a sultry, sexy voice asked. The pic of the babe had become a movie. She walked towards me filling the screen and said "Pull" just as a hand appeared through the surface of the screen. At this point she could have asked me to jump in a lake and I would have only asked which lake. I pulled and the rest of her came out. Then I stared. You would too, Tall and tanned, with long platinum hair shimmering down to her thighs, and, well... words fail me here, just imagine the perfection supermodels only hint at. Her makeup was eye-catching, she had an inverted blue triangle on her forehead and a blue streak under each eye. It made her even more exotic.
"Like what you see?" she asks me. "My name is Urd and I'm here to grant you one wish."
I sat down on the floor, feeling somewhat overwhelmed. Her feet and ankles were worth staring at too, then I noticed they were not touching the floor.
"Well what's your wish?" she purred while standing over me.
Not knowing what to say or do I sat still and kept my mouth shut. Thoughts of wish-gone-bad stories flitted through my mind. I needed time to think but if I said that and it was interpreted as a wish I could be in lifelong trouble.
"I can wait a short while but please hurry. You have to state your wish beginning with the words 'I wish...'." Urd said as if she had read my mind.
"I can read your mind." came her reply.
What did I want? What did I need? Money? Power? Fame? My thoughts raced.
"Those are good wishes and many people ask for them." Urd stated.
She seemed to be getting impatient. If you experience enough strangeness it becomes normal. I stood up and dusted myself off.
"Please excuse me Urd, welcome to my home." I sat down again but this time in a chair.
"Can you give me any advice about my wish?" Read the instructions is a rule of mine.
"Oh great, another mortal who does not know what he wants." Urd exclaimed. "Don't make me late for my date!"
"Urg! It seems EVERYONE has a date but ME! I wish I could meet my soulmate!" The words were out of my mouth before I knew it.
Then I sensed something.
"OH..." Was all Urd could say before she started glowing and rose into the air. "Your wish has been approved." She intoned in a strange voice. Then reality became unreal, a beam of light shot from symbol on her head straight up, I felt a jolt and grunted. Everything except me floated up and began whirling about her. My computer, phone, books, the table and both chairs, papers, my cup of coffee, everything! Once again I was the exception, and somehow nothing hit me either.
Then suddenly all was calm again, (except me, something inside me was changing) the stuff in the room fell to the floor. I later found out nothing was broken and even the coffee stayed in the cup! Urd fell to the floor too. She screamed, one word, very loudly "HER?" If I could add triple underlines, and have this in extra bold large print italics I would.
I winced. The scream of a goddess can be painful. "What next?" I wondered aloud. Urd was looking at me like I was the strangest thing in existence. "I know I'm not that handsome, why are you staring?"
"I now know who you soulmate is and I'm supposed to take you to her." Urd blurted.
"And..." man am I a brilliant conversationallist, NOT.
"Something is wrong, Yggdrasil and the Goddess Relief Office cleared you for a wish, you're not evil." Urd just confused me more.
"What do you mean wrong, what is Yggdrasil, and why should evil enter into it?" I asked a goddess who looked as confused as I was.
"Her name is Mara..." Urd began.
"Nice name, I like it." I said quickly.
"She is a Demon." Urd finished.
"WHAT!" It was my turn to scream. No extra stuff this time. Gods can out-scream mortals and Goddess's are even louder.
"Where is your phone?" It was a demand. I was starting to learn how pushy this particular goddess could be. Searching through the wrecked room I finally found it beneath a pile of Chobits manga.
Giving Urd my phone I asked "Will it be long distance?"
"Don't worry Heaven is a toll free call." was the reply as I watch her fingers tap in an impossibly long number with blurring speed. The phone started to glow.
"Hello, Peorth, this is Urd and I need to double check the wish I just granted."
I hit the speakerphone button. "Urd, who is Peorth?" She shushed me and tried to turn off the speaker. I blocked her saying "my wish, i'm listening" Shrugging with a I'll get you later glare she gave up.
"...bringing up the file now, background...Oh...hmm...Urd, this guy is almost unique..."
Almost unique, what did that mean? I would have to ask Urd later. While she talked I put the battery back in the computer and generally neatened up the place.
"Peorth! I figured that out by now! What do you mean almost?"
"Urd do you remember Budda?"
Budda? What does he have to do with me? More questions but as soon as she got off the phone maybe I could get some answers.
"What in all creation does that have to do with his wish!"
"Oh yeah, checking wish eligibility now...A KAMI-SAMA SPECIAL!"
Kami-sama? Who or what was kami-sama?
"Peorth! Double Check the wish!"
"Oh, ok, right on it...MARA?"
"URD! What did you do!"
"He said 'I wish I could meet my soulmate' and I granted that wish. Now tell me what went wrong!"
"It's a Kami-sama special, they cannot go 'wrong'" Peorth replied. "Only you Urd, only you could foul up something foolproof. I'm kicking this up all the way to the top."
A few moments pass.
"IT IS I." comes a voice from the phone. "ALL IS WELL. THE WISH STANDS."
THAT was the voice of GOD. Somehow I knew it beyond all doubt.
"Good luck Urd." a much subdued Peorth said then the phone went dead. It also stopped glowing.
"What now?" I asked softly.
"I guess I take you to Mara, but I'm afraid she would eat you alive, literally." Urd did not sound happy.
"Tell me about her before we go to meet her." I suggested. "It seems to me that you recognize and know something of her, maybe have a history or something..."
"Why me?" She asked then said "What do you want to know?"
"Everything you can tell me. I know nothing about the care and feeding of a demonic girlfriend." I grined back.
"You're taking all this calmly for a mortal." She dodged my question.
"I do not panic, I problem-solve, and this looks to be the biggest one of my life. Please answer my question. I may need the information."
We had a staring contest. Her aura was bright and... HER AURA? Since when could I see stuff like that? I really looked closely at Urd now, she opened her mouth and I said "quiet". (Only later would I learn how unusual it was that she complied.) Wings, I made out a faint outline of wings. "You have wings. I can see them." I blurted.
"How..." she started, then "I'm taking you to see my sister Belldandy. Now." Grabbing my hand she yanked me up and out of my chair pulling me after her. Goddesses are strong. She touched the screen of my my laptop and WE went through it. I lack the words to describe what happened in the instant between my place and our destination. I found myself being pulled out of a TV screen and falling onto a floor. Urd then started spouting gibberish. (I later found out she was speaking Japanese.) A lovely voice answered her also speaking the same language. I looked around, the furniture was not what I was used to, even the walls looked strange. (It was my first look at rice paper walls.) Traditional Japanese architecture is something a westerner almost never sees. A clock on the wall read 9:27. (Later I was told it was Saturday morning.) The floor was covered with mats and suddenly remembering one of the few things I knew about japan I took my shoes off, putting them next to a wall. As I stood up I saw another woman enter the room. She wore a light blue kimono and had long light brown hair, blue eyes, and if Urd was the perfect supermodel then this was the perfect 'girl next door'. Pretty, wholesome, pure were the words that came to my mind. Her face was also marked, a slim blue diamond on her forehead, and inverted blue triangles on her cheeks. Another goddess I guessed. Looking closely I could see her aura but no wings, While I stood there watching the two carried on a rapid conversation. Then the second goddess turned to me and said in perfect English "Greetings Tobor-san, I am Belldandy and my sister Urd has told me of you. Welcome to our home. Would you like some tea?"
"Tea would be very nice." I replied "And please call me George."
Urd sat on the floor and I followed her example. She sniggered at me. Later I found out that by copying her pose I was sitting in a posture reserved for women only.
"Please tell me about Mara." I requested of Urd.
This time Urd responded with a long story of how Mara had treated Keiichi and Belldandy. While I listened tea was served and Belldandy joined us. While she let Urd be the principle storyteller Belldandy did fill me in on her relationship with Keiichi. Just my luck I get a demon instead of a goddess for a soulmate. Mara sounded like a first class bitch.
"Actually she is a first class demon." Urd quipped. "Guess which is worse."
"You know Urd, your mind reading act gets old." I said. Thoughts should be private.
"Urd, tell George-san what Mara said and did the night of the party."
"Soon after we moved into the temple here the NIT motor club shows up and throws a party. Part way through the festivities Belldandy tells me that Mara is outside. I went out and we talked. She said 'I hate my life. I hate it with a passion. I hate it so much that I think I'll enjoy making other people as miserable as I am-and then it turns out I hate that too.' Something Keiichi said really got to her. I held a sobbing demon in my arms that night."
"Wow. Hmm, where is she now? Any ideas?" Maybe Mara was salvageable after all. I like helping others and did she need help.
"Mara's outside. I can feel her presence." chimed Belldandy.
"What!" went Urd "Why didn't I sense her."
"She is shielding heavily. Normally I would not detect her either but I suspected she would show up today."
"That's right, I was supposed to take George to meet her but because I haven't the Ultimate Force brought her here." Urd thought aloud.
"Well, Urd, you can take me out to her now and introduce us." I said.
We three walked outside. Belldandy called "Mara, I know you're here. We just want to talk, stop hiding."
A very thin blonde in dirty ratty clothes popped into sight near the temple gate. She was clutching a bottle as she leaned against the torii. I have seen cleaner and healthier homeless people.
"I wasn't doing anything..." Mara whined. "I don't even know why I'm here."
"I know why, you are here to heal and be healed." I stated.
Urd stepped forward saying "Mara meet George, George..."
Mara stumbled and started to fall, I tried to catch her but became a cushion as we both fell, her on top. She was lighter than she looked. Getting a better grip, I stood up with an unconscious demoness in my arms. Not only did her body look sick but her aura was "ragged".
"Urd look at her aura, is that normal? Can demons get sick?" Both goddesses stared at me, her, us?
Belldandy spoke first "Yes, demons can get sick and yes Mara is sick. Bring her inside."
Once inside I followed the two into a small room Belldandy got a futon out of a closet and I laid Mara on it.
"What can I do?" I asked.
"Urd, do you have a potion that would help?" her sister asked.
"I'll go look."
After Urd left Belldandy started chanting and gesturing. I watched her closely and saw her how her aura changed as she cast the spell. Belldandy then touched Mara on her forehead and cheeks. There were faint red triangle under each eye and two slashes forming a \/ on her forehead, also faint. These brightened some but were still faint.
My stomach growled.
"I'll go fix you both something." said Belldandy.
Don't die on me, I thought, I don't want to bury you too. My first wife died before we had been married 3 years. She was pregnant at the time. Truth. Belldandy returned before Urd, she had two bowls of some rice dish. I thanked her and quickly ate one. Then I asked a question.
"Was that a healing spell you cast earlier?"
"Supervise me please." was all I said as I tried to make my aura copy what she had done. It was not easy and took several attempts. Hearing Belldandy gasp once as my aura changed 'shape' and 'color' did not help my concentration.
"Touch her now." I dimly heard. I did so. Everything went black.
This is my first fic. I am working on the second chapter now.