Disclaimer: Despite begging and pleading I still don't own Phantom of the Opera. Neither do I own Will Smith or Jazz. Though I do own a mini Will Smith as a 'MIB' doll that came free with a happy-meal a few years ago….

Authorette's note: Okay, fine: I've cheated. I've chosen a rap so that I can alter the syllable pattern, basically it works if you say 'opera' using two syllables like 'op-ra' then well… just say it quickly and keep it under your fedora. This is a parody of Will Smith's 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air', the theme tune to the show with the same name. How I loved that show was I was little…..

Oh and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

The Fresh Phantom

This is a song fic all about how
My life got messed up all the way round
And I want to take a minute
Just stand punjabed right there

I'll tell you how I became the Phantom of the Opera Populaire

In a town near Rouen born and raised
In the attic was where I spent most of my days
Composin', drawin', makin' mirrors real well
And singin' like an angel struck down from hell
When my mum met this guy
She became his own
But he tried to send me off to a mental home
These boys killed my dog and my mum got scared
I ran off, found the travelin' gypsies and met Nadir

I when to Persia for a coupla years
Me an' my Punjab became the Shah in Shah's greatest fear
He tried to get killed but I didn't care
I escaped to Paris, built a house in the Opera Populaire

I started hauntin' the place about 1888
Breedin' fear and maybe a bit of hate
I'd created my own kingdom
I was firmly there
To stay as the Phantom of the Opera Populaire