Dirty Little Secret
After peer pressure from her friends, Lilian finally lets her boyfriend know she's posed for Playboy. But will they still stay together after he (and the rest of the locker room) see's the pictures?
I own nothing. Don't sue me.
I had no idea what to do. Here I am, sitting all alone in the Diva's locker room with the enevolope in my hand, but I just couldn't open it. I knew what was in there. Pictures. Dozens and dozens of pictures. All of me, in my whole naked glory.
Only four people knew I posed for the May edition of Playboy: Trish, Mom, Vince McMahon and my sister. That's it. There's no way I could tell my boyfriend, I know it would break his heart. He's so over protective of me, but in a good way. Not controlling in the least bit. He just likes to know where I'm going if I go out for the night, what time I'll be back at, small things like that. Which is why it was so hard to leave him for a week to get these photo's done.
I made up a lie about how my mom had to get fluid drained from her elbow as soon as she could because her nerves had shifted over or some bull shit like that. He believed it because he's gulliable like that, and that was the end of it.
In no way, shape or form did the Playboy mansion even resemble the "hospital my mom was staying" at. Girls hanging out in their underwear like it's not big deal, the odd celeberity passed out in the grotto, it was such a huge difference then what I was used to. I wasn't very comfrotable at first with posing nude, which the photographer understood completely.
At first I was in a bikini, doing the typical poses for practise. After a while, the bikini top came off, and there I was! Topless! I became totally comfortable after a while, everyone made sure I was at ease. Complete perfectionist these people were.
But how am I going to tell him?
"Lilly!" Trish Stratus' voice boomed in the locker room, the door slamming shut. "Have they come in yet?" I held up the enevolope that I've been staring at for God know's how long. Her jaw dropped to the ground as she flung her gym bag to the other side of the room. "Are they nice? Do you look pretty? How many are there?"
"I haven't opened it yet," I confessed.. "I'm scared, Trish. What if he doesn't like them? What if he breaks up with me? What if..."
"Lilian, someone is sounding a little paranoid," Trish sang, opening up the enevolope. "Now, we're going to look at the pictures, pick out what ones you like, and then we'll tell Shelton, OK?"
"I don't know...I don't want the whole locker room to know."
"They're going to find out eventually. Geez Lil, just open the damn thing." She snatched the enevolope from out of my hands, tearing open the top. One by one, she looked at the pictures, saying what ones she liked, what ones were a no go.
I grabbed a pen from my purse so I could remember what ones she liked so I could tell my Mom, sister and Shelton; if I ever find the courage to tell him.
"You know what would be better?" Trish asked me after looking through the photos. "A guy's opinion. A real guys guy, ya know?"
"Trish, dear God, no. Don't do this to me, please," I pleaded.
"But Lilly...my opinion doesn't mean that much. I'm a girl, you need a guys opinion. Lots of guys opinions!" She grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the locker room. It really didn't matter how much I protested against this, she was such a stubborn person.
"OK, Lilian, pick. Who is going to see your photos?" We stood at the entrance of catering seeing all of our co-workers having a somewhat decent meal. "Wait. I all ready know who you want."
"You do?" I asked. "How?"
"Remember that one time, when we were watching The Notebook, and we made that list of top five guys who we thought had the best bodies on the Raw roster?" My face fell.
Why does she have to do this to me?
"Look, three of them are all ready sitting together. We just have to find the other two. Shouldn't be that hard..." Still holding my hand, I trailed behind her as she dragged me over to a table of three of the guys that were on my list.
This was the worst day of my life.
"Hey fellas," Trish greeted them. "Lilian and I need a little advice on something. Do you think you could help us?"
"Of course we can," Chris Masters answered.
"Anything for the best looking blondes in the company," Antonio chimed in with a wink. I groaned as I put my head down on the table, my face flushed from embrassment.
"What do you need?" Romeo asked, putting his fork down. "Night on the town? Dance lessons?"
"Need help picking out what cute bra and pantie set you should wear tonight?" Antonio questioned.
"Just you you ladies know, the carpet in my room is green, so when that bra gets ripped off tonight..." Trish slapped Chris playfully on the arm. I cringed at their sleeziness, because they actually thought they were being pretty charming.
"Actually, first, we need help finding two more guys," Trish told them. "Do you know where Edge and Cena are?"
The three guys looked at each other, their eyebrows scrunched together deep in thought. "Edge is probably banging Lita somewhere," Romeo mentioned.
"And I'm pretty sure Cena should be here soon. I think he had a win a date thing with some blonde or something," Antonio said.
They were wrong. Trish was in such a hurry to drag me over to the table with Romeo, Antonio and Chris, that we didn't even see Edge and John sitting just a few tables down talking with Hunter and Ric.
"Someone say my name?" John asked, walking over and taking a seat next to me while Edge sat beside Trish.
"Gentlemen, good to see you," Trish greeted them. "Lilian and I need all of your advice on something. But, before you guys agree, you have to promise that whatever is said between the seven of us, it stays between the seven of us." All the guys nodded their heads. "OK, great. Now, follow us to the women's locker room."
Chris, Romeo and Antonio let out a loud yell as they high fived each other for some reason. John wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him for a lean. "I'm sure whatever it is, it'll be fine," he whispered as we walked down the hall.
When we got to the locker room, Trish held the door open for us, making sure we filed in quietly. When the seven of us were in there, I checked to make sure the shower area was clear so no one else would hear this conversation.
Trish locked the door when I gave her the thumbs up. All of the guys sat on the bench, Edge and John looking confused while Romeo, Antonio and Chris had a grin on their face.
"I'll remember this day for the rest of my life," Chris said with a grin.
"Can I ask two questions?" Trish turned to face John, waiting for him to go on. "First, why the five of us? And second, why are we here?"
"Well, Champ," Trish began, "what you are about to witness is top secret and it may not leave this locker room, just like you promised earlier. Miss Lilian over there, has agreed to this therefore, anything that happens in this very locker room is done under our permisson." I leaned my head against the wall, closing my eyes. Don't get me wrong, I love Trish to death, but did she have to do this to me? Now?
With the envolope in her hand, she paced back and forth between the five wrestlers. "This envolope holds something very dear to Lilian's heart."
"I'm getting anxious dude. Are we getting laid or what?" Antonio asked impatiently.
"Just pretend it's foreplay dude. Just wait," Romeo told his tag team partner.
"Moving on," Trish said loudly. "I'll get straight to the point since some of us are getting too anxious. Lilian has posed for Playboy and she needs your opinions on what pictures she should use." She handed the envolope to Edge, and with gentleness he took out the first picture.
The room was silent for the next twenty minutes as the guys gazed over the pictures, deciding what ones they liked the best. Antonio and Romeo kept nudging each other as they pointed to random things in the picture; I think most the time they were pointing at my chest.
"Having fun, boys?" I asked from my spot by the wall. Chris gave me a grin while Romeo and Antonio continued to stare at the pictures.
This had to be Trish's worst idea ever.
After almost an hour, the guys and Trish finally deliberated over which pictures should be choosen for Playboy, without my opinion. They laid the pictures out on the bench, taking votes on what one should be on the cover, what one should be in the table of contents, and whatever else appears in Playboy, again, without my opinion.
When they finally left, Trish gave me a huge grin as she handed the envolope back to me. "These are the ones that we think you should use, in order. You were such a great sport about this Lilly! We're so proud of you." Trish gave me a hug, a great big tight hug that made me short on breath. When she let go, she squeeled and left the room, jumping on the back of Edge.
So here I am again, alone in the locker room with my Playboy pictures, scared to tell Shelton. I honestly have no clue what I am going to say to him. He'll want to know why I did it for one thing, then he'll tell me he can't date me or love me anymore because everyone in the locker room has seen me naked...
My hand began to shake, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and my throat was feeling scratchy. Not good when I have to announce tonight, sing the national anthem, tell Shelton.
I dropped the envolope to the ground, jumped off the bench, and ran out of the room, trying to find Trish. I knocked over a couple of people on my way, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't anyone important, just the wannabe Diva's.
When I finally found Trish in one of the guys locker room, she was sitting on Romeo's lap with her feet proped up on Antonio's, laughing at something that happend.
"I can't do it Trish," I told her, breaking their laughter. "I can't tell him. He won't love me anymore, and he won't want to be with me...I can't do it Trish."
"Lilian, don't think like that. He'll love you know matter what," Trish tried to assure me, not moving from her spot.
"But it's true! I haven't met his parents yet, and they won't want to meet a Playboy bunny, and they'll hate me forever..." The tears fell freely from my eyes as Antonio got up and wrapped me up in a hug, moving his hands up and down my back. "He won't love me anymore," I whispered.
"That's not true Lilian Garcia and you know it," Romeo piped up. "Shelton loves you too much to let you go. Antonio and I have to hear it all the time. Trust us. He won't let you go." Romeo and Trish stood up, holding hands for some reason...and guided Antonio and I out of the room.
"Lets go grab something to eat," Trish suggested, leading us into catering. I let Antonio hold me up as he wrapped an arm around my waist, gently leading me to catering.
I do not want to go in there looking like this. My eyes are puffy and blood shot, my hair is a mess, everyone is going to see me looking like shit...The last thing I wanted to do was go to where everyone else is. I hated being where everyone is, because then all they do is gossip, and when people gossip it just leads to rumors, and...
I stopped dead in my tracks as I saw Christy and Maria, handing out pictures of me to everyone in catering. When they saw me standing there, they give me a quick smirk and walked away. "Beautiful pictures, Lilly," Christy whispered.
In the back, I could see Shelton standing next to Kurt Angle, both of them holding up their pictures for comparisons. When Shelton saw me standing there, he gave his picture to Kurt and made his way over to me.
I could see in his eyes he was disapointed as he came closer and closer; Antonio left when Shelton gave him a look of death.
Grabbing my hand gently, Shelton took me outside of catering so it was just the two of us alone. Dead silence it was, neither of us knowing what to say.
"So..." he began. "You're posing for Playboy?"
"I'm so sorry," I apologized. "It's just something I thought would be different, and I really wanted to do it, but I didn't think about what you would think, and I lied to you and..."
"Lil, hey, simmer," he said to me, walking over. "I like the pictures, I think they're great. I just don't know why you didn't tell me earlier." He brushed a tear off of my cheek, "no hurt feelings, babe."
"I'm still sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you. I'm such a lousy girlfriend..."
"Lied?" He cut me off. "You never lie to me."
"I know! That's why I suck as a girlfriend!" I told him, burring my head into his shoulder. "My Mom never had surgery...I took the week off so I could get the pictures done." There. I finally said it. It was out in the open, now he knew. I was waiting for him to tell me its over, that he can't love me anymore and he'll hate me for the rest of his life. I prepared myself for this moment the whole day, just waiting for him to say those words.
But instead he laughed. The joyfull laugh that I loved to hear, it was so loud and crystal clear. The loudest laugh in the locker room belonged to him, and now I was hearing it because I lied to him.
"It's not funny," I sniffled. "But you can go on. Tell me you don't love me anymore because now is when we break up..."
"Break up?" he asked. "Why would I break up with you, because you posed for Playboy?" I nodded my head. "Lilly, come on. It's just Playboy."
"Playboy, Shelton! Everyone is going to see me naked! Aren't you angry?"
He gave me his smile, all of his teeth were perfectly clear, so perfectly straight. "Angry? Of course I'm not angry. I love you, Lilian. Why would I be angry over this?" He pulled me closer to him, giving me a hug. "If anything, I want an autographed copy of this magazine." I looked up at him his clear eyes, seeing how they were still laughing.
Just when I was on my tip toes to kiss him, there was a loud thump and yelling. When Shelton and I turned to see what happend, all we could see was Romeo, Antonio and Chris laying on the floor on top of each other.
"Why'd you push me?" Chris asked once he got up. "God, Antonio. Have some manners."
"Hey man, it's Romeo's fault! He wanted to see if Shelton was feeling her up!"
"Not true bro!" Romeo smacked Antonio across the head, and the three of them left bickering down the hallway.
Shelton and I started laughing as they continued to fight down the hallway, yelling at each other over who's fault it really was. I started to apologize to Shelton again, but his lips against mine stopped me.
He backed me up against the wall, the kiss becoming more and more passionate at each moment. When he finally pulled away for a breath, I grinned at him, giving him one more kiss.
"I just made out with a Playboy bunny," he said with a grin.
If I knew he was going to react like this, then I wouldn't have gotton myself so worked up over it. But now that the truth is finally out there in the open, I can feel comfortable around him again, more free than usual.
Afterall, I did pose for Playboy.