Oh. My. God.

I just realized that it's been a year since my last upload on this!

So I thought that I had to fix this.

Wherever you may hide

The flashing lights of evil you can't fight

And they will hurt you, hurt you most

In the night

Whatever you may try

The shadows of your crimes, they won't go by

Nightmares will haunt your mind

And you will find

They'll never die

("Wherever" by Vanilla Ninja)

A nightmare

Chapter 16

Worries And A Bit Of Hope

The next day.

After breakfast Mireille grabbed her coat and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?", Kirika asked surprisedly.

"I… I've got something to deal with. See you!", Mireille stammed, then just left, leaving a very confused Kirika behind.

Mireille made her way to the library.

It has been a long time since I've been here… but searching for help with Kirikas problems on the internet at home is too obvious. I don't want her to know what I'm doing. It might just upset her… and that would make it all worse…

Mireille walked through the corridors, searching for the right section. She read each and every title, looking for something that could help her. She realized that it was useless to just creep around without a destination, so she stopped walking and tried to focus on what she was searching which was quite hard for her because there were so many thoughts whirring around in her head.

Keep cool, Mireille. Breathe.

Mireille breathed in deeply, then sighed and looked for a sign or something to make her search easier. When she finally found one that said "Psychology" she entered the corridor and looked around for some under-categories. She found "Dream Reading" and studied some titles. Then she took one of the book out of the cupboard and sat down to read it.

Kirika had washed the dishes. She had tidied up the apartment. She had looked out of the window for hours. She had walked around in the city, sat in the park, drunken a cup of tea in a cafe. The sun was about to disappear and Mireille still hadn't returned from wherever she had gone. Kirika was quite confused about what was going on. It didn't fit Mireille to just leave her alone the whole day without telling her where she went. It was getting cold. Kirika decided to go back home, loads of questions bothering her. Where did Mireille go? Why didn't she take Kirika with her? Did she leave forever because she was tired of Kirika? Did she do anything wrong?

Mireille closed the book. She didn't even remember how many she had read today, her eyes felt sore and she had a headache. When she took a look on her watch she almost fell off the chair she was sitting on.


It was almost seven p.m. and Kirika must be worried about her! Mireille grabbed her coat, put the book back into his place and hurried out of the library towards her apartment.

Kirika sat in the living room. She had already prepared dinner.

Where are you, Mireille…

But she wouldn't get an answer.

Mireille ran through the crowded streets, not caring if someone was in her way. She had never cared about things like that. It didn't bother her what others thought about her. She only knew that she had to get home quickly.

Kirika waited. And waited. And waited. Then she heard footsteps in front of the door. Her heart jumped and she got up immediately and opened the door.

And there she was.


"Mireille!", Kirika gasped when she was grabbed and hugged tightly.

"I'm sorry Kirika, I… couldn't manage to… I'm so sorry.", Mireille stammed. The door fell closed behind them. Finally they let go of each other.

"Where have you been? I've been worried about you.", Kirika said.

"I'm so sorry, I just had to deal with something. I don't wanna bother you with that.", Mireille tried to get out of the situation.

"Maybe I want to be bothered.", Kirika mumbled and turned away.

"Hey.", Mireille called softly and touched Kirika's shoulder, holding her back and turning her back around. She put one hand under Kirika's chin and gently lifted her head up. "You have enough problems or your own. I don't want you to keep thinking about mine as well. I was at the library. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that it could take a little longer.", she explained. Kirika tried to smile.

"It's okay.", she said.

"I know that it is not.", Mireille comitted, "Don't deny it. But I can't tell you… Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not. But please never ever do that again.", Kirika said and hugged Mireille. Mireille put her arms around Kirika and rested her head on top of Kirika's.

"I won't."

Silently she knew she couldn't keep that promise.

I know I told her that I'd never promise her anything I cannot do again… but I have to.

I'm sorry…

I am so very sorry, but there is no other way…

The next day Mireille and Kirika went to the market. Mireille wanted to apologize for her behaviour and offered Kirika to spent a day out with her.

"You can choose whatever you want to do.", Mireille told her.

"Hm… I'd like to go out onto the market and just watch.", Kirika said.

"Alright then , let's go.", Mireille said smiling.

So they walked over the market, studying the things offered at the different stalls and laughing a lot because of the funny things they found there. Mireille really enjoyed the day, and she felt that Kirika did so, too. They sat down at the park, watching people pass by, hearing the birds chirp and the leaves of the trees rustle. Mireille watched Kirika's face, the closed eyes, the smile plaing around her lips, the relaxed features she loved so much.

The blonde regained some of her previously almost lost hope that, one day, everything would be okay, that they would be able to live like two normal people. Like the ones that fill the streets of Paris, of France, of the entire world, now and everyday.