Secrets

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Shadow Hearts. And the title is courtesy of AriesCelestial. Just a little Alice and Yuri interaction. Could lead to something down the road. And yes, this is in the same "universe" as Shadow Killer.


Lights out. The city below us was dark now, a wasteland of pitch. It was chilly, almost cold, and I shivered slightly before he put his arm around me, guiding me to the railing of the Widow's Walk. We had been here before, and I knew the way, but I loved it when he held me. Sometimes he got a little enthusiastic, clutching me tightly so I could neither breathe nor move and those times, I had to struggle to be free. But tonight, with our tummies full of Momma's good stew and bread, we climbed up to the Walk to stand watch over the city. It had become our city, in the months since we had come, escaping the war in Europe only to find it followed us to England. We had fled Switzerland, but I still held a small secret hope to return there some day. Momma was happy and content being home in London, but Zurich was my home too, and Yuri – well, Yuri was happy wherever he went, it seemed.

I looked up at him, his profile a shadow in the darkness and caught a gleam that was his eyes, looking down at the city, possessively.

"Do you like London, Yuri?" I asked, trying to control the shivers that were running up and down my spine.

"It's okay. I like some of it. I like some of the people," he said and then looked down at me. I could feel his warm breath washing over my face as he leaned closer. "But I especially like you." He punctuated his reply with a wet kiss that missed my mouth and slid down my cheek instead.

"Yuri," I hissed, wiping away the spittle and I could hear him laughing softly as he moved and then a soft cloth rubbing my face – his handkerchief.

"Sorry," he said through his breathy laughter and I couldn't be angry with him. He was being so sweet. Then it occurred to me: he was being too sweet.

"Yuri?"

"Mmm?"

"What are you up to?" I asked and waited as he put the handkerchief away, stuffing it into his coat pocket.

"Nothing," he moved away and took off his coat. "Here, you must be freezing – you really should wear something warmer."

"Like your coat?" He draped the heavy coat over my shoulders and I could feel the weight of it settle over me, surrounding me with Yuri's warmth and his smell. The coat always smelled a bit musky, and I had grown to associate it with Yuri in the months we had traveled together. I snuggled into the coat, pulling it close around me and accepting that Yuri had succeeded in distracting me, for now.

A moment later his arms came snaking around me from behind, and his strong hands captured my elbows, holding me close. He nibbled on my ears, his warm breath tickling the hair at the back of my head and sending tingling shivers down my spine that had nothing to do with being cold. Oh yes, he was up to something all right.

His kisses fired along my hairline, touching my neck. If he didn't stop soon, I would be a puddle of reactions waiting for his emotions. No, I could not allow this to continue, even though I wanted it.

"Yuri," I said, my voice quavering a bit before I could get it under control. Yuri heard it, and I felt his soundless laughter as an expelled breath behind me. "Yuri, stop this right now."

"Mmm," he muttered but refused to move back, his arms wrapping me more securely as he kissed down my neck to my shoulder, wrapped in his coat. He nudged aside the leather and kissed me through my own jacket, his lips firm and I could almost feel his heart beating so close was he to me. But no, it was my own heart that was thudding like thunder in my chest and I knew that, if I did not capture this raging harmonixer, he would be practicing a fusion of another sort.

"Yuri!" I shouted, this time my voice solid, no quivering. He pulled back a moment and I took the opportunity to pull free, keeping the coat, but moving a few feet away from my hungry husband. "You just won't take no for an answer, will you?"

He paused, his breath white on the dark night air and I could see it cloud around him before drifting away. He moved in the dark of the Widow's Walk, and I could tell from his dark on dark profile that he stood with hand on hip. He was disturbed that he had not gotten his way. Good.

"Yuri, what are you doing? I know you must have done something," I asked into the cold night and I heard his breathy sigh.

"Well, not really." Which meant yes.

"Come on Yuri. You're my husband. We share, don't we?"

"Yeah, well, I'm the man of the house an' I took the responsibility is all," he said and I knew less than before.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Come on, it's cold out here. You'll catch yer death..." he said and turned in the dark to open the attic door. I knew I'd get nothing more standing here in the cold, so I followed him.

Once downstairs we made for our bedroom, still our own snug, safe haven from the crazy world and getting a bit small with the box in one corner with Yuri's collection of weapons, and my Hope Chest – no longer filled with just linens and household items... but he didn't know that. I hung his coat on the rack behind the door and took off my own coat, hugging my arms in the still chilly air, wishing we could afford the coal for heating the upstairs.

In a moment he had kicked off his boots and encircled me with his arms again, gently abrading my shoulders with his hands to bring warmth before holding me close. He had removed his shirt too and his warm skin felt like hard fire against my back.

"You're like an icicle," he said, his mouth close to my ear and I leaned back into his warmth. "Come on, sweetie, let's get in bed."

Sweetie. Now I am reminded that he's up to something for he never calls me 'sweetie'. So it's going to be this way, I think. He'll hold me and nuzzle me and make me feel all warm inside, and finally, when he's good and ready, he'll tell me what he did.

I'm the man of the house an' I took the responsibility is all. His words came back to me as he picked me up and carried me to the bed, using one foot to push back the covers before setting me in the middle of the mattress. He laid me on the sheet and slipped one hand in to unbutton my skirt, slipping it down over my hips. He pressed me closer to the mattress, climbing over me, his pants unbuttoned and I could see in the amber of his eyes how much he wanted to claim me, to tear my camisole from my breasts and ravish me with tongue and teeth and lips, but he didn't. He didn't because he was my husband, my lover and because he saw the gleam in my eyes that boded him ill if he tried.

"Hey now, what's with the glowy-eyes alla sudden," he said and a mischievous grin slid across his handsome face.

"What did you do, Yuri," I asked again, reaching up with one hand to caress his shoulder. The bone, wrapped in muscle, was hard to my fingers but I knew the spot to use, just at the point of the shoulder and I dug my finger into the small scar that was hidden in the fold of muscle.

"Ow!" he said and moved the shoulder away. The bullet wound, although healed, still ached, and I knew it. "Why'd you do that?"

"Because you're being stubborn and not telling me what you did," I answered.

"Yeah, well I got that in the line of duty," he said and I smiled, laughing softly.

"You got that trying to outrun a monster and it was the police that shot you."

Yuri chuckled and lowered his head, his hair falling into his eyes; he needed a hair cut again.

"Yeah, well, I was doing it for the police an' they shot me. I zigged when I shoulda zagged."

I smiled up at him, his boyish grin was infectious, and he'd done it again. Of course, I had let him.

"Well?" I asked.

Yuri leaned down, kissing me on my nose, pointedly ignoring me. His lips scoured across mine, a flick of his tongue at the corner of my mouth and then he moved on, kissing up my cheek to my ear, nuzzling the hair and tickling my neck with his breath.

"Y-Yuri, I have a bible and I know how to use it," I said, trying to catch my breath and he chuckled.

"No you don't. I hid it under the bed," he said between kisses and it was true. I reached under my pillow only to find it empty, the small book I kept there for quick inspiration was missing.

"Darn it Yuri!" I exclaimed and began to wiggle in his grip, one leg coming up and poking him between his legs as I squirmed. We were a heap of arms and legs and bedding in a few minutes, both of us laughing as my attempt to escape had turned our bed into a pile of linen and blankets and Yuri was still lying across me, his heavy body pressing me firmly into the mattress.

"I love you, perky butt," he said and I laughed, unable to stay angry with the silly oaf.

"Please, Yuri. What did you do," I asked again. "I want to know."

He rose up on his elbows, covering me with them, pinning me to the bed, and looked down at me with haunted eyes.

"Yuri?"

"I ever tell ya about my ol' man? How in China he kept a small plot?" I nodded, feeling my hair come undone behind me. He reached up and ran one hand through my long hair, his roughened fingers catching on the strands and pulling some loose.

"Well I been working long hours ya know, and taking any job that comes. Not just for the police but for anyone," he said and I knew that was true. Since his discovery and destruction of the monsters in the London underground sewers, Yuri had taken on many jobs as monster hunter and made a small name for himself. The army and police certainly called him often enough.

"But what does that have to do with anything?" I asked, trying to find the connection.

"Well," he said and he pulled a lock of my hair up, smelling it and kissing it.

"You're being silly, Yuri. Just tell me," I said.

He nodded once and bent down to kiss me again, a short kiss, but one that confirmed he loved me.

"I always wondered what kinda man he woulda been, my ol' man, if he'd kept a farm, stayed home and raised a bunch of kids."

"You wanted siblings."

Yuri grinned. "Damn straight. But it never happened." He chuckled darkly. "I ended up with Halley instead."

"Yuri!" I swatted him and he laughed, for Halley was like the younger brother that Yuri didn't have and, although Halley, Koudelka and the others had gone to America, he did still miss them. It showed when we walked in the park on Sundays and he would stop to watch the kids playing.

"Gone on," I prompted him, and he grinned a little, a touch of uncertainty showing in the tingeing of his cheeks.

"I saved us up a bunch o' money with all the working. Ya know I gave some to yer mum and all, but I saved a bit and – well, I spent it."

Startled, I tried to sit up but could not move Yuri from the bed, he simply weighed too much.

"Yuri," was all I could say.

"I know, I know, I probably shoulda told ya, maybe taken ya out there, but I saw it when I took that job a coupla months back and it looked so good; it needs work, an' I ain't kiddin' about that. But it's got room and the land is good, the soil is good and..."

"Soil..." I caught the word and felt a chill run down my spine. He didn't! "Yuri, did you buy..."

He nodded. "I bought us a farm – up north a ways, and in good country. We can raise crops, have a cow for milk, some chickens, an'... and..."

I smiled up at him, his eyes lost in the visions of this farm of his. This dream of his fathers, to build a better place with his bare hands. He had told me that story before, but I had never dreamed he would do it himself. A farm.

"That's perfect, Yuri," I said softly and was rewarded by his eyes snapping to me with gratitude. He pulled me up into his arms as he sat back, holding me tightly and I could feel the strong thunder of his heartbeat in his chest. He was so strong, and yet at times like these, I am reminded how much he is a kid inside.

"You're not mad?" he asked and his voice was muffled by my hair.

"Of course not. We'll have a home, a place to raise our family," I said.

He chuckled. "Yeah, well that won't happen right away but," he moved far enough back to look at me with hungry eyes, "we can have fun trying." He caressed me with his rough hands and pushed me back into the bedding and I laughed softly as the man I love made love to me. And I wondered something else. How long I'd have before I'd have to tell him that the family was already here.