Disclaimer: I don't own inuyasha, I mean, Rumiko Takahashi wouldn't write a story as dumb as this.
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE READ THIS READ IT AGAIN, IT'S WORTH IT! I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST SHESSHOMARU! I just thought I'd make fun of his emotionless outlook on everything. I finally put in the funny stuff, I kind of forgot, that's why it took so long.
"Guy's I'm back!" Kagome yelled while climbing climbing out of the bone eaters well.
"Feh, took ya long enough wench." grunted InuYasha.
Just as Kagome was about to sit InuYasha for the wench comment, a resounding slap echoed across the land followed by a loud yell of "pervert!"
Soon the monk and demon slayer entered the clearing.
"Now my dear Sango, there's no need to be so angry. I was merely displaying my affections for you." Miroku said in a kind of whiny voice.
"Bullshit. InuYasha can you please take out tetsaiga." Sango asked.
"So that with my hiraikotsu(sp?) I can wack the pervert here towards you and you can wack him back towards me, and then I'll wack him back to you and so on and so forth."
InuYasha pulled out tetsaiga, Miroku paled and began to run away.
"What! Sure he's an idiot but you could kill him!" Kagome said.
"I guess you have a point." a disapointed Sango said.
"Does this mean I don't get to play wack-a-miroku?" InuYasha asked. Everyone ignored him
"Ah lady Kagome, I knew you not let me get beaten mecilessly."
"I just don-" but Kagome was cut off by Miroku's hand on her butt.
"I changed my mind, wack him." Kagome growled.
"All right!" InuYasha exclaimed. "Come on Sango." With that InuYasha grabbed Miroku by the scruff of his neck and dragged him off with Sango close behind.
20 minutes later a very bruised and battered Miroku lay on the ground. Sango had gone back to the village and InuYasha was resting on one of the branches of the sacred tree
Soon Shippo came jumping out from the bushes and into Kagome's arms.
"Hi Shippo." Kagome said happily,
"Hey Kagome, did you bring any candy" Shippo asked hopefully.
"Actually now that you mention it, I brought some chocolate" she said and produced a large bag filled with chocolate bars.
"What's chocolate?" asks a curious Shippo.
"Here try some" Kagome offered and gave him a KitKat bar.
" Wow! This stuff is great!" He said and ate a few more, after awhile he jumped up to InuYasha and started to bounce on his head. Which, knowing InuYasha only served to piss him off. So he did the only thing that seemed reasonable. Which was to punch Shippo as hard as he could. The punch caused Shippo to crash into the bag of chocolate spilling it all over the ground.
"Feh! Annoying runt." InuYasha said angrily.
Shippo got up, apparently oblivious to the punch and bounced away laughing to go and jump on the still unconcious Miroku, poor guy. Kagome was just about to say sit when an evil thought crossed her mind, she struggled not to smirk.
"InuYasha, would you like to try some chocolate?" she asked innocently.
InuYasha who had expected a sit was surprised with this, but being the idiot he was just assumed that Kagome agreed with him that Shippo deserved what he got.
"Alright." He said casually.
He took an areo bar off the ground and tried a small piece, it was sweet and absolutely delicious! He quickly ate the rest and grabbed a bunch more.
After his third a most peculiar feeling came over him, it was like some unexplainable joy that filled his whole being and made it seem like he had boundless energy stored inside him, he felt like chasing butterfly's for crying out loud! In all his life he had never felt so good. He looked at Kagome and a wonderful idea crossed his mind, he woul take her to chase squirrels, oh what fun that would be! Without a second thought he grabbed her and jumped off to a field with Kagome laughing all the way.
Later that day Shesshomaru Rin and Jaken came to the site of the spilled chocolates. Rin was hungry and she soon realised that the chocolate looked like something Kagome would carry.
"My lord, I am wondering if I may have some of that food on the ground, I think it's safe because Kagome once ate something like this"
Shesshomaru looked at her with a look that was a bit softer than his normal emotionless stare.
"Very well, but Jaken must try it first to see that it's safe." he said calmly.
"But my lord what if it's dangerous?! The human is expendable, she should try it!" Jaken whined.
Shesshomaru responded by glaring at him and cracking his knuckles menacingly. So Jaken tried the chocolate.
"Hey! This stuff is pretty good" he said.
"Yay!" yelled Rin and quikly grabbed one.
After some time rin asked " My lord, would you like to try some?" holding out a chocolate bar. At first Shesshomaru wanted to refuse but Rin was just to cute to turn down, so he took the cholcolate and nibbled on it. His eyes widened, this stuff was delicious! He quikly ate it and took another one, he ate more than InuYasha did and soon got the same feeling he did only much more strongly.
"Screw being emotionless" he thought and immediatly grabed the rest of the chocolate. "mine!" he said and ate them wrappers and all.
Soon a butterfly passed and letting out a bark he chased after it until he stepped on a lady bug! The horror! Letting out a sob he fell to the ground crying about how cruel he was to have stepped on the poor defenseless bug.
By now Rin was worying about her lord's mental health and she suddeny realised that with her lord like this, she would have to act like the adult. So for her first act of being in charge, she decided to catch some fish. The chocalate had proven poisonous to Jaken and he had fallen unconcious.
After an hour Shesshomaru stopped crying and his happiness returned when another butterfly passed, barking happily he chased after it on all fours, when Rin's scent came to his nose and he decided to see what she was doing.
He soon found her.
"Whataya doin? huhuhuh." Sesshomaru asked.
"Go away." came the curt reply.
"Pwwwease tell me what you're doing Rin."
Sesshomaru couldn't take it anymore, he broke down sobbing at Rins feet and begged her to tell him what she was doing. Rin simply moved to a different part of the stream. So Sesshomaru grabbed a stick and took it to Rin. He sat on his haunches in front of her and he began whining piteously, begging Rin to take the stick. Rin couldn't take it anymore, he was just to cute. So she took the stick and threw it as far as she could.
Shesshomaru let out a happy bark and chased it before he got it he caught the scent of his younger brother and the girl who followed him around. He decided to go see if they would be mor playfull than Rin.
After chasing a few squirels with Kagome on his back and chasing a few sticks that she threw, InuYasha's hyperness had left him leaving a very VERY pissed off and sick hanyou, he was sick because chocolat is poisonous to dogs, good thing he's only half. After swearing and puking his guts out for a few hours he finally felt well enough to say that chocolate was one of Naraku's incarnations. He and Kagome were heading back to the village. (He was to stupid to know that Kagome planned the whole chocolat incident.)
InuYasha soon smelled Shesshomaru's scent and pulled out his sword.
"What's wrong InuYasha?" asked a nervous Kagome.
"Shesshomaru!" He growled.
Soon Shesshomaru came onto view but there was something different about him.
"Please put your sword away, my beloved younger brother" Shesshomaru said with a smile.
"Huh!" InuYasha said
Shesshomaru just smiled happily.
"Oooookay, what the hell is wrong whith you"InuYasha asked a bit scared.
"Wrong? Why there is nothing wrong with me! I am wonderful! I have finally realised my goal in life!"Shesshomaru exclaimed.
"And what would that be?" asked a seriously freaked out InuYasha.
"Why to make Kagome my mate of course!"Shesshomaru laughed.
"WHAT!" Yelled a once freaked out but now pissed off hanyou.
"you heard me." Sesshomaru siad. then he giggled and it sounded really weird.
Kagome was backing away thinking 'ewewewew, he wants me ewewew.'
All of a sudden Sesshomaru burst out laughing. "HAHAHA! You believed me! I was only kidding you!"
InuYasha was wide eyed and he seemed to be twitching.
"Awwwww. Don't look like that. I didn't mean to hurt you. Now come here and give your older brother a hug and a kiss on the cheek." With that being said, Sesshomaru spred out his one arm, pursed his lips and began running towards InuYasha.
"AHHHH!" InuYasha yelled. He then turned around, grabbed Kagome and got the hell outta there!
Shesshomaru then jumped away and performed an number af embarrasing actions before he got sick almost died since he was more dog than InuYasha, once he was well he proceeded to whack his head on a wall repeatedly, beat up Jaken to make him feel better and swore Rin to secrecy.
While Sesshomaru was being sick, Kagome somehow got abunch of straightjackets and borrowed some sutras from she and InuYasha got downwind of Sesshomaru and ambushed him. They somehow got the straightjacket on with a sutra attached whithout being killed. They then transported him to a mental institution in Kagome's time.
PLEASE READ THE SEQUEL! Did that get your attention lol.