TWO DAYS LATER COMMON ROOM. BORED Thats right, you heard me. After the tragic breaking of both my arms (and also the healing) I have been sent to rest and also do nothing. Okay, so I was actually sent back to class. Tom-ay-toe tom-ahh-toe. But for me to be the brilliant person I completely am (hold your laughter) I decided to come back here to rest up. But it is hard to rest. I am bored. Tragically bored. Oh boredome, boredome, g o AWAY. Rain on somebody ELSES parade. You like my song don't you. Well, your the brains of this operation (ha) so give me something to do. YES! YOUR RIGHT! I SHOULD DEFINITELY SNEAK INTO THE GIRLS DORMITORIES! Brilliant you are. But don't get a big head about it, nobody likes people who are big headed. Sincerely, Sirius the amazing.
"Hmm. What to do." he muttered to himself as he pushed the door open.
Charlie Angel style, Sirius scoped out the room before somersaulting over to the nearest trunk. An engraving on the top read Lily Evans in big letters. Regardless to privacy he flipped the top open.
"Wonder who this could belong too. Finders keepers I spose."
Inside the trunk was organized neatly into a series of sections. One held a stack of perfectly folded cardigans and jeans, the next held more boring things like quills and test answers and illegal dragon eggs and the last held something that peaked Sirius' curiosity. Seven lined up orange cans. He picked one up and read the navy blue and white printed words. "Red Rain. ™ Energy drink with Taurine." Hmmmm.Gracefully turning it around in his hands he skimmed the caution label. A bunch of no more than two a day stuff and some not recommended for children and don't forget the do not consume more than 500ml per day. "Rubbish."
With a quick look both ways he clipped off the top and swallowed the first, second, third, fourth and fifth whole.
"S'not working." he muttered.
Suddenly with a flourish, Sirius jumped up on the nearest bed and started hopping up and down ripping the pillows up with his teeth. (no, definitely not working.)
By the time Lily came up and found him he had downed the last two. He heard the door open and then looked up to see Lily watching his wide eyed as he rooted through her things.
"Those are some BAD STAIRS!" he yelled, pointing at the door his hand shaking violently as if he had escaped from the mental asylum. Obviously not falling for his ploy he tried again.
"FUZZY PURPLE BUNNIES!"
"Sirius ple-"
"AND DOGS IN LITTLE DOGGIE HATS WITH -uh- SPOTS!"
"Sirius what the hell are you doing?" she demanded, hands on her hips. He was not going to get out of this. She was going to have him killed! Or hung! Or both! He would be like that guy who was hung, and then decapitated, and then his head was put up on the London bridge for gulls to peck at!
Sirius did the only thing he thought he could manage; he dove for the window... but it was painted shut. So instead he turned back to her and fell at her feet, crying and shaking.
"LILY, I am SOOO sorry.I didn't mean to HURT YOU! I didn't mean to MAKE YOU CRY. Do you really want to HURT ME? Do you really want to MAKE ME CRYYYY."
"Get out of my room."
"Can do."
10pm. Bottom of girls staircases. Shaking. Ahem.
There will be NO MENTION of a certain individual NOT ME who drank TOO MANY energy drinks and went streaking through the Great Hall. NO MENTION GODDAMN IT! But there will be mention that I am in luurrvee and it is with a girl and she is foxy. Very foxy. Very very very very very foxy. ...but not in a hairy fox like way at ALL Since I know your DYING to know I will tell you how I met her and that was after I was streaking I went to hide my shame (aka hide from the teachers who where looking to murder me for naked display or some rubbish like that) and she was HIDING THERE TOO! AND I KNOW HER NAME! Its uh.. JOANIE. Yes. Joanie. And she is foxy and I lurrrve her. She is in Ravenclaw. That is all. -
I have more notes for you, my handsome little book of wonders:) They are about my luuurrrveer. :) :) :) :) KEYY! (in case you forgot from last time) :) :) :) and also (L) which is a gang symbol for luurvee because I am in luurrrrve. -
Remus
Me.
So Lily told me that you were in her bedroom?
GODDAMN IT. She promised to keep our sordid love affair a secret.Sordid? Padfoot, have you been reading my dictionary again?Yes, as a matter of fact I have, and why exactly is the name Sirius scribbled in beside arrogant? I am the complete opposite of arrogant.So why were you in Lily's bedroom?
Because I am the handsomer of the two.Don't you mean three?No.Harsh.
Indeed!BUT WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN HER ROOM?
Stealing her panties. -
Alright, thats enough. Sirius stole all my energy drinks and was definitely not anywhere near my panties. You could have figured that out by yourselves, because if he HAD by chance been in even the nearest vicinity of my panties he would no longer have the genitals to produce children.
-Lily.
Well, that was quite harsh.
I would say well deserved.Shush.So now that thats settled, Padfoot come here I need to have a look at your genitalia.
Prongs, we've discussed this. I just CAN'T. I've known you for too long, and also I will be needing them for tonight because of my BIG DATE.(Ahem, this is where SHE comes in.) (and also note how I CASUALLY slipped the date thing in there? Since obviously this note is all about my lovely friend James and Lily and all that, and I am a good friend and wanted to let him have his moment of glory. (which is now over, by the way) Wish me luck my handsome darling, because Joanie and I are just about to make our dramatic exit. CHOW as the French would say. (Thats what she is. Shes French. (L) (L) (L) ) I, Remus for your information, would just like to set a few things perfectly straight. And also, just for your information I DEFINITELY get just as many IF NOT MORE girls than Sirius. I just don't FLAUNT them like he does because that would be rude. With that said I must go finish my Runes homework... but I ... just wanted to ... clear all that up. And we all know Chow is not actually French, Sirius is just an idiot. Sincerely, Remus J. Lupin. - Well, that just about clears this chapter up. Please review. Perhaps even if you hated it because for the good of the world it would enable me from making many more chapters at the least. -xo-