Title: Falling Into Place
Summary: She should've been used to it now, right? The fact that her boyfriend was in love with her sister? That he didn't have the courage to break it off with her? Well, getting over the fact that he could never love her was just too much for her to bear.
Notes: I'm sort of implying that I hate David…warnings of not a lot of slash and light bashing and selfishness. Also remember that my dialogue sucks. I'm friends with a family of (really) British people. I think I hang out with them too much. (urr)
Well, I can't say I blame you now
Sometimes you've got to fall
Before you're found out
Well thanks for waiting this long
To show yourself, yourself
'Cause now that I can see you
I don't think you're worth a second glance
So much for all the promises you made, they served you well
And now you're gone and they're wasted on me
So much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well
And now it's gone and you're wasted on me
"He thinks I don't know," I whisper, pulling the covers closer around my shoulders as I avert my gaze from my friends' eyes. "He thinks I'm asleep. That I didn't notice."
Jalil moves closer to me and drapes his arm around my shoulders. "April…"
"God," I mutter, "I never thought it'd be like this. I really didn't." A few tears escape my eyes and I snuggle even deeper into the covers. "I thought she was gone. I thought he was over her. God, how stupid am I?"
"You're not stupid, April," Christopher states from his place sitting at the desk in the corner. "David's an ass."
A few more tears and I clumsily wipe them away. "I thought…" quieter still, "I thought I was worth more than that…you know? Like, I feel as if he just said, 'oh, April fancies me and I can take advantage of that until Senna comes back and I can fuck her instead.'" Jalil sighs one of his 'oh goodness' sighs and begins to rub my back as I begin to sob.
I look up to see Jalil's face, my own streaked with my recent tears. "Why can't he love me?" I asked him, holding his gaze. "why can't he love me?"
I shut my eyes and began to sob into my hands again.
I feel like I'm drowning. Maybe that's why I didn't hear Christopher say something and leave the room. The feeling you get when you're underwater is so strange and foreign to the senses. It's like being strangled from the inside without being able to move, see, or hear. It's like I can't reach out and grab a rescuer's hand even if there was someone wanting to help me.
"I'm so fucking confused." I mutter, gathering my face in my hands once more. Jalil pulls me closer for support and allows me to cry on his shoulder.
"I know, I know."
"Stop saying you fucking know!" I scream. "Stop saying it like that makes it okay. Stop saying it like it's the most usual thing in the world. This isn't usual, Jalil! I don't even know why we're in this fucking place at all!"
Jalil sighs. He pulls me into his lap and strokes my hair lovingly. "I know that it hurts, April. I've had my heart broken before." He pauses, and then, "Saying that I understand will never make it okay. I know that it won't; I'm selfish that way. I'm hoping it'll make you feel even the least bit better."
More tears from me. "I'm sorry, Jalil." I wrap my arms around his waist. "I'm so sorry…but it hurts so bad. Why does it hurt so bad?"
The tone of his voice changes, "Because you love him."
"No…no…" I murmur. "It's not fair. Nothing is fair. Why does she do this…"
"…" Jalil doesn't respond, but he rubs my back some more and sighs again.
"Why does she always do this…"
The moment the words leave my lips, the door swings open and in saunters Christopher. His hair is in disarray and his lip is bleeding. He plops down in a chair and avoids our gazes. "I took care of it."
And that was that.
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