Disclaimer: "What Is This Feeling?" Belongs to the musical WICKED and Stephen Schwartz, who wrote it. Now, let me tell you, (if you're into musicals) I saw this at the Fox Theatre in St. Louis, MO about a month ago and it was AMAZING. Fantastic! So, if you ever get a chance to see it, DO. And, as always, the song has been tweaked.
A/N: Anyone who thought that House was going to get Wilson to be the Tin Man by blackmail…Good idea! But it wasn't exactly what I had in mind. You'll see later in the chapter.
House limped as quickly to Cuddy's office as he could, and barged in without a knock, as usual. Cuddy put her head down on her desk when she saw him. "What do you want from me!" She cried.
"I've got an idea..."
"…That's never good."
House ignored her. "I've got an idea regarding the Wilson/Tin Man situation. It's sure-fire."
"Well great! Then go tell him, and we can start rehearsals tomorrow."
House put his hands on her desk and leaned over, lawyer-like. "I get two months off clinic duty if all goes well."
"Oh, god. Enough with the clinic duty!"
House stood up. "Time in the clinic would be time I would normally spend trying to…say, find myself. Yoga and Zen and tai chi, and all that crap."
"Which translates into…"
"Downloading songs onto my iPod."
Cuddy nodded. "Well then. No."
House stood up straight again. "Fine! Fine. I just won't ask Dr. Wilson. I'll just…avoid him. I won't tell him about rehearsals or about how much we need him, and then, when the time comes to perform, you'll have to get up in front of hundreds…no, thousands of people, and tell them that we don't have a good Tin Man to sing and dance around and stuff, and it's all your fault."
"I could always ask Dr. Wilson myself," Cuddy said.
"But you won't. You're too busy, aren't you, to do a petty thing like that?"
Cuddy sighed once more, and sort of groaned, and House's eyes lit up. He knew that sigh/groan; it was the sigh/groan Cuddy always did when she was considering a proposal. Usually House won, because he was a master of debate. He knew that and Cuddy knew that and Cuddy felt like she needed an Aspirin.
"Alright, alright!" She announced finally, retreating back to the paper on her desk. She put her glasses back on. "Three weeks…I can't believe I'm doing this…off clinic duty. But you MUST ask Dr. Wilson. Right now!"
"Yes! Dr. Cuddy, you won't be sorry," House said excitedly, his mind spinning.
"I highly doubt that," she replied. "Now, get out of my office!"
House obliged, muttering to himself, "PMS." Cuddy adjusted her glasses, saying, "What a basket case!"
Suddenly, they felt the need for a song:
House AND Cuddy:
There's been some confusion over working here right now
But of course I'll just ignore her.
But of course, I know I'm smarter.
House AND Cuddy
For I know that's how I'm going to react
There's been some confusing for you see my colleague is…
Really annoying and on the edge of sanity and the best doctor you could ever had all at the same time…
What is this feeling, so sudden and new?
I felt the moment I laid eyes on you.
My pulse is rushing.
My head is reeling.
My face is flushing.
What is this feeling?
Fervid as a flame…
Does it have a name…?
For his face
Let's just say…
I loathe it all!
Every little trait, however small
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl.
With simple, utter loathing
There's a strange exhilaration.
In such total detestation!
It's so pure so strong!
Though I do admit, it came on fast.
Still I do believe that it can last;
And I will be loathing, loathing you my
Whole life long!
Nurses AND patients:
Lisa Cuddy, you are just too good!
How do you stand it? I don't think I could!
He's a terror, he's a tar-tar,
We don't mean to show a bias,
But Cuddy, you're a martyr!
Well, these things are sent to try us.
Nurses AND patients:
Poor Cuddy forced to coincide
With someone so illegalified,
We just want to tell you,
We're all on your side!
Nurses AND Patients House and Cuddy
We share your loathing
What is this feeling; so sudden
Unadulterated loathing and new?
I felt the moment I
For his face, his voice, his clothing! Laid eyes on you!
Let's just say My pulse is rushing
My head is reeling
We loathe it all!
Oh what is this feeling?
Every little trait, however small Does it have a name?
Makes my very flesh begin to
There's a strange exhilaration!
In such total detestation!
It's so pure, so strong!
Though, I do admit, it came on fast
Still, I do believe that it can last.
And I will be
Loathing… Loathing, for forever
Loathing… Loathing, truly, deeply
Loathing You! Loathing you! (Loathing You!)
My whole life
Loathing! Un adulterated Long!
House: (pokes Cuddy in butt with cane.)
House saw the Ducklings in the hallway, walking away from him. "Cameron!" He called. Cameron recognized the voice and therefore didn't turn around immediately. Whatever it was he wanted from her, it could be dealt with calmly. Epically because the patient was in a coma. By that time, House had caught up with them.
"Chase, Foreman, leave. I need to talk to Cameron alone." House saw Cameron shoot a panicked glance at Foreman, a 'don't-leave-me-alone-with-him; -he'll-probably-kill-me' look, but Foreman just shrugged apologetically and did as he was told.
"I need a favor from you," House told her.
"This is probably going to be degrading, isn't it?"
"Yes, but it's not what you think. It requires you in Dr. Wilson's office. Alone."
"Please? Do it. It'll earn some respect for me, from Cuddy."
"When have you ever cared about Cuddy's respect."
"Never. Until now. Plus, you get three weeks off clinic duty."
Cameron sighed and shifted her weight. "Alright…what do you need me to do?"
There was a soft knock on the door in Wilson's office. Dr. Wilson himself, who was looking up bizarre coma causes that the team may have missed, shouted, "It's open!"
Allison Cameron walked in, looking very different than she had just ten minutes ago when House had accosted her in the hallway. Her hair was down in a disarray of golden and brown curls, her blush vamped up to the apples of her cheeks. She had a short-sleeved pale pink button-up silk shirt on (that she had purposely unbuttoned a dangerously long way) and a black, knee-length skirt on, whose hemline was about to rise significantly. All she needed was some Oscar-winning acting, and she had this in the bag.
"Dr. Wilson?" She said. She had tried to be seductive, she really had, but her voice sounded high-pitched and breathy. The breathy part was good, but she swallowed a few times to make it sound raspier.
Wilson didn't look up from the computer. "Yes, Cameron?"
"Well," she started. The bimbo inside Cameron had decided not to make a cameo today. "I was just wondering…um… how we were doing on the…um…case." She put on a pout and raised her eyebrows. This time, Wilson looked. He became distracted by the fact that he could see Cameron's bra momentarily as she leaned over.
"Something wrong?" She asked, cocking her head over to the side.
"Do you need something?"
"Only you," she replied sexily, and pushed the papers on Wilson's desk out of the way so that she could climb up on his desk and sit on her knees. 'Oh, god, what am I doing?' Cameron thought. 'House will never let me live this down.' However, Wilson didn't react to her until Cameron leaned in for a kiss. He bolted up and backed against the cabinets that lined the wall behind his desk.
"Um, Cameron, this doesn't seem like you," Wilson said, shakily.
Cameron smiled and slowly moved from the desk over to Wilson, running her hands all over his chest, and trying to pull the lab coat off, just to stress him out. "Oh, James, you don't know me at all, do you. Thinking I'd sleep with House, ha! When it's you I've wanted the whole time."
Wilson's voice cracked. "Really?"
Cameron pulled him into a kiss and let his lab coat drop from his shoulders onto the floor. "Mmmmm," she sighed. When she pulled back, Wilson's eyes were big as saucers. He sprinted to the swivel chair at his desk and started shuffling papers into random files. "Cameron, we can't do this. It's not right."
Cameron, moving slowly, picked up Wilson's lab coat and threw it on a chair by the door. She then started massaging partner's shoulders, just like House told her to. "Ooo, Jimmy. Why so tense?"
"You're tensing me up!" He barked. "But that does feel good."
Cameron bit her lip, thinking of a retort. "Oh, well…you know what'll feel even better?"
Wilson became alert as Cameron whispered something inaudible in his ear. "Won't that?" She questioned. Cameron moved around the chair and hiked up her skirt, her legs straddled, sitting on his knees, as Wilson nodded dumbly. 'This must be why he can't keep a wife,' Cameron thought as she rested her elbows on ether side of Wilson's neck and played with his hair, moving her face closer to him. 'The man can't say no!'
Cameron, with split-second thinking, pulled Wilson into a tight kiss and jabbed her tongue into his mouth, as any experienced girl knows how to do. At the same time, she started pulling Wilson's tucked-in shirt out of his pants. As their body temperatures rose, Cameron slurred into his ear. "I need you to do something for me," she whispered.
"What is it?" he replied.
"Be the Tin Man. Please? Just for Cameron. Just for…Allison," she said, pulling him up by the collar, not in a mean way, but in a dominating way. "Please, Jimmy?"
"Suuuure," Wilson said, in a daze. Cameron was pretty confident he didn't know what he had agreed to. But she was so happy he had said yes, she almost dropped him.
She gave him a quick kiss again. "Thanks," she said, and made her way to the door. In the blink of an eye, the crazed love affair was over."
Cameron blew him a kiss as she left the office. "I'll call you!" He called after her.
Dr. Cameron made a beeline for the Women's Bathroom to make herself look presentable for the rest of the hospital, before heading back to House's office, where he was waiting for her with bated breath. Chase, Foreman, and House all practically jumped on her when she walked in.
House was the first to speak. "What'd he say? Is he on? Please tell me he's on!"
Cameron was taken aback slightly with House's unusual enthusiasm, but answered anyways. "Yes," she said. "I used my amazing persuasion powers to convince him, just like you said."
Foreman snorted. "Yeah, if you want to call what you did in there 'convincing.'"
Cameron smiled. "Hey, what went on in that office, stays in that office. Go talk to Wilson if you want to know what happened." With that, she got up and left the office, head held high, happy to know she made them sweat. After all, it was her business and hers alone.
"Well, someone's a little full of them self!" House called after her, but she ignored him.
All three doctors looked at one another before Chase finally spoke. "Do you want to know what happened in that office?"
House took a few quick steps towards the door before he answered. "Last one there has clinic duty!"
A/N: I know, sort of a weak ending, but I really wanted to post this! No, this story is not Cameron/Wilson, but it was, just for this post. A little cheesy, I know, but Wilson had to be the Tin Man, right? Tell me in a comment!
Catch you later,
PS- How was the spelling? An author needs to know these things!