Title: My Roommate's Cats

Author: Tinkerbell99

Rating: T

Disclaimer: The characters are not my creation, they belong to someone else.

Summary: And now he's yelling at my cats. The first time this happened, I really thought they were dating. I guess maybe I wasn't too far off. Josh/Donna

POV: Donna's Roommate


He's at it again.

The cats should really run for cover. I bury my head beneath the pillow.

Why in the world does she let him in here? He's a grown man and, from what I understand, holds a position with some amount of power in our government. Of course, if this kind of behavior is of any indication, we'll all be singing the Canadian National Anthem soon enough.

Must he be so loud?

Some of us have to work in the morning. Take me, for example. Take those two idiots making all the noise in the living room for another. While a well-trained monkey could probably do my job, I'm thinking that theirs should require at least some amount of consciousness in the mornings.

"But Donna…it keeps looking at me!"

"Shh! That's because you stepped on its tail."

"Well it's not like I meant to. And anyway I - Did you see that? It hissed at me! There's cat spit on my shoe!"

And now he's yelling at my cats. At least he's predictable. Follows the same pattern each time this happens. (And it happens with surprising regularity.) He shows up, drunk, and she opens the door to his whining. That's always mistake number one.

"There is not cat spit on your shoe, Josh. You dribbled your beer."

"Oh. Well, still it hissed at - OW!" I hear a dull thud. "What the hell is that thing doing there?"

"It's called a coffee table, Josh. It's always there." Trying to reason with him. That's mistake number two.

He always stumbles around my living room for a good long while, ranting about Republicans and whichever senator has pissed him off on that particular day. Donna, meanwhile, tries to quiet him down by telling him that he'll wake me up. The reason I know this, by the way, is because I have already been woken up. But, hey, Donna…thanks for trying.

"…and the other thing I will tell him when I tell him is that I should have told him what I wanted to tell him-"

"Josh, if you're going to talk in circles you need to do it quietly!"

The first time this happened, I really thought the two of them were dating. And who could blame me? I don't know of too many people who are quite this willing to baby-sit their boss when he gets drunk. Then again, I have a feeling he's more than just a boss.

"Donna…the gray one looks kind of like Toby."

"No, it doesn't. It's just pissed at you and you're confusing the expressions."

The first time this happened, I also wondered just what kind of roommate I'd acquired. She and I would be sharing an apartment the approximate size of a postage stamp and I didn't really want one of those "double occupancy plus boyfriend" arrangements. Sure, she seemed nice enough, just maybe a little high strung. I soon realized, however, that despite sharing the same 700 square feet, we would rarely, if ever, actually see each other.

"I'm not kidding, Donna. It really looks like Toby."

"I'm telling you, it's just 'cause it's pissed. Why don't you sit down now?" I hear her pat the sofa.

"But why is Toby pissed?" Now he's whining.

"I don't know, Josh. You ate all his pie. And stepped on his tail."

Of course, we may rarely see each other, but that doesn't mean we don't hear each other.

"No. It's something else…Hey, what'd you take my thing away from me for?"

"You have a 7 a.m. meeting with Senator Wallace. You need to be sober in less than six hours and I doubt the beer is going to help that process." I hear the clink of glass being tossed in the trash.

Donna usually beats Josh to work and with 7:00 meetings, that takes some effort. She's usually long gone by the time I even slap the snooze button. I'm generally in bed for hours before she reappears. I guess maybe that's what happens when you find your job fulfilling. Or your boss attractive.

Of course, that second one is just a guess.

"Do you have to climb all on top of me like that?"

Or maybe not.

"Shh! It saw you lay down and went for your lap. Relax."

The cat. Thank God. There are some sounds you just don't want to hear from your roommate and her boss at one o'clock in the morning.

"Can I have a glass of water?" Again with the whining.

"Can I have a raise?"

And then there's the banter. Don't get me started on the banter. Especially at one in the morning. It's not normal boss/employee banter. I don't know what exactly it is, but it isn't that.

"Donna!" I see we're past bantering and back to the shouting.

"Shh! What did I tell you about being quiet?"

"But I figured it out!"

"Figured what out, Josh?"

"Why it looks like Toby!"

"Please tell me it's not because it just jumped on your lap, because if Toby does that I do not want to-"

"The ball!" He breaks off into a giggle fit that sounds more than a little like something one would hear at a junior high slumber party.


"Toby has a ball! And this Toby has a ball!" Again with the giggling. My poor cats. "See, look!" Seconds later Tigger's favorite toy bounces down the hall and whacks against my door. Furry little cat feet skitter after. "See, just like Toby!" I can just imagine the grin on his face...and the look on hers.

"Right, Josh. Right. Now, will you please go to sleep? You're going to wake up Kara."

Too late. Way too late.

For the next twenty minutes I listen to Donna repeatedly shush Josh and cajole him into closing his eyes. I listen to him protest that he does not have a delicate system and to her insist that his current state proves otherwise. I listen to her get him water, find him a blanket, and tell him that all the Republicans have moved to Fargo. Bedtime stories for the political mind, I suppose.

I listen to Josh insist that Toby not climb on his lap, but rather have another look at the U.A.W. draft and shave his beard. I listen to Donna remind Josh that Toby is safely at home and does not generally wear a collar and bell around his neck.

I listen to them say goodnight, very sweetly. I listen to Josh thank her, very softly.

Finally, finally, silence prevails and I drift off to sleep.

The next morning I drag myself out of bed before the alarm sounds. Padding out to the living room, I observe that my coffee table has been relocated and Josh is still sprawled on the couch. There's a cat on his chest and his shirt is covered in fur. Tigger's tail swishes under his nose and every so often he twitches at the tickle.

Hearing a noise behind me, I turn to see Donna approach. "Hey."

"Hey…" She rubs her sleepy eyes. "He didn't wake you up last night, did he?" I might be mad if she wasn't actually sincere.

What good would it do? It's not like that would stop him. "No…No. Not at all. Slept like the dead…Just up for a drink of water."

"Good." She continues watching him, a pleased little smile crossing her lips. "I really don't know why he shows up here like this." At this point, I decide that I've seen all I need to, and turn to head back into bed. I mumble something in reply and close my door as she rousts Josh and together they start to get ready for work.

Like I said, the first time this happened, I really thought they were dating. I guess maybe I wasn't too far off.

She may not know why he shows up here, but I sure do.

"Donna! Why is there a cat on my chest?"

Someday soon, I'll need to find myself a new roommate.

"It keeps looking at me…Donna?"

But maybe the cats can stay here…with them.