Disclaimer: We doessssssn't own any of the charcterssss, no. If we did, we would be rich, yesss. They all belongsss to Tolkien, they doesss.
Author's Note: I thought it would be fun to put some modern things into this story – you wouldn't normally find hairspray in Rivendell, but Merry and Pippin wouldn't get into half as much trouble without it…
This is my first fanfic., so good reviews would be appreciated!
Two Hobbits, an Elf, and Pink Hair Spray
Chapter One: "Boy, is he in for a surprise…"
It was the middle of the night in Rivendell. Everyone slept, save two small hobbits. Merry rolled over and spoke to the figure in the bed next to his.
"Now?" asked Pippin sleepily.
"Oooh! This is gonna be fun!" Pippin giggled and clapped his hands.
"Hey, you moron! Don't do that! You'll wake the whole flippin' Fellowship and then our plan will be ruined!" Merry grabbed Pippin's hands.
"Sorry." Pippin mumbled.
"Have you got it?"
"You know - the stuff we need for this prank!"
"Oooh, yes!" Pippin felt around under his pillow and triumphantly held up a can of pink hairspray.
"Oh good!" Merry's eyes lit up. "C'mon! Let's go!"
"Yup!" Pippin jumped out of bed, tripped over his slippers and crashed to the floor with a yelp. "Ow ow ow o-"
"Ssh!" Merry clapped his hand over Peregrin's mouth.
"Buth I hurth bythelf!"
"What part of "be quiet" don't you understand? Now shut up!"
"Okay, now let's go, and for goodness sakes, be quiet!"
The mischievous duo crept across the room.
"There he is!" cried Pippin gleefully and sat down on a bed. Meriadoc grabbed him by the collar of his nightshirt.
"No no no! Get off there, you idiot! That's Strider!"
"Oops." Pippin got off.
"Here he is!" Merry was standing beside Legolas's bed. "Now let's get to work!" Pippin was doubtful.
"But he's a very light sleeper – he'll wake up the moment we touch him!" Merry shook his head.
"No he won't. That, my dear Pippin, was where my super intelligent brain came in. I drugged him!" Peregrin gasped.
"How d'ya manage that?"
"Like this: before I went to bed, I told Strider that I had been having trouble sleeping lately, and could I please have a tasteless, odorless and colorless remedy for insomnia, because I you-know-how-I-hate-those-herbs. He looked a bit suspicious, but he gave me a glass of something. However, instead of drinking it myself, when no-one was looking I swapped my glass of weird potion stuff with Legolas's glass of water, and look –" Merry pointed, "He's drunk it all up." The glass on Legolas's bedside table was empty, and the Elf was snoring lightly. Pippin was impressed.
"Why Merry, you're a genius! A real mastermind! However did you think of something so very clever?"
Meriadoc tapped the side of his head importantly.
"I told you – with my super intelligent brain. Now for the last time, let's do it!" He pinched Legolas's arm lightly to make doubly sure that the drug was working. It was: there wasn't even a slight change in the Elf's breathing. Merry grinned.
"Okay, now give me the hairspray."
"Awww, can't I have a turn first?"
"No. This was my idea, so I should get to go first."
"That's not fair! I'm the one who risked life and limb to get this stuff from one of those Elf children, so it should be me who gets to use it first!" Pippin pouted.
"Give it to me," Merry ordered, "Now."
"Oh, all right." Pippin sighed and handed over the precious can. Merry grabbed it and began to apply it to Legolas's hair.
"Boy, is he in for a surprise when he wakes up!"
"Uh huh!" Pippin nodded so vigorously that he lost his balance. Merry caught him before he hit the floor.
"Fool-of-a-Took! Just take it easy." Meriadoc put his cousin down.
"It's my turn now."
"Don't be ridiculous! I've only had it for about twenty seconds!" Merry once more busied himself with the Elf's hair. "Alright, now it's your turn."
Pippin quickly took the hairspray.
"How do you operate this thing?" He pressed the button on the top of the can. A cloud of hairspray turned his face a bright, luminous pink. "Oops…heh heh…maybe I should turn it the other way?" Peregrin turned the can around, pressed the button and successfully got pink all over the clean, white bed sheets. "Oops." He said again. "I missed."
"Aaargh! Look what you've done! That stuff stains! Elrond will be furious!" Merry panicked.
"Gosh, what d'ya think he'll do?" Pippin squeaked, frightened. Merry shrugged.
"Tear you limb-from-limb. Use you as target practice – Elves are very into archery you know. Oh –"
"Duh. Everyone knows that. Well, maybe not you, but I'm pretty sure everyone else does."
"Shut up. Now, let me finish. Ahem…Elves are very into archery you know. Oh, the list is endless."
Peregrin stuck his tongue out.
"Elrond would never do those things, so there!"
"Forget it, just give me the hairspray – clearly you cannot be trusted with it." Merry held out his hand.
"No, wait – I think I've got the hang of it now." Pippin aimed at Legolas's head and again pressed the button on the top of the can of hairspray. He was successful this time.
"Wow," said Merry sarcastically, "you actually managed to do something right for once! Well done!"
"Hey, don't be mean!"
Eventually the two pranksters finished their mischief. Pippin yawned. "I'm tired. Let's go back to bed." Merry disagreed.
"No, not until you've washed all that pink stuff off your face. If Legolas (or anyone for that matter) sees you, then the game will be up, and so will our lives."
"Yeah, right." Peregrin disappeared into the bathroom and came back drying his face on his nightshirt. "Is it gone?" Merry inspected his cousin's face carefully.
"Yup, it's gone."
"Good, although it did look rather pretty when I saw it in the mirror when a moonbeam fell through the window…yes," he yawned, "very pretty." Pippin climbed into bed and was soon snoring loudly. Merry did likewise.