Yes I did say that the next chapter was going to be foamy…but I forgot and wrote a Christmas special instead ^_^ so yeah when I get to writing this fic again I will write the foamy one next ^_^. Also it was supposed to be updated on Christmas, but blame fate for giving me a virus on Christmas day...anyways enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade, nor do I own the "Twas night before Christmas" remake in here, that's on Dennis Leary, any typos or mistakes are intentional…partly cause I couldn't find it on the internet, and because it'd be funny if it was a little screwed up.

Everyone in the bladebreakers and company loved Christmas in their own way. Tyson obviously loved the food, Jordan loved the T.V specials that came on, Max loved the candy, Kenny liked all the presents he got and Hilary liked the company and good spirit. Kai…didn't care but the excuse to drink was fine with him.

The question this year was deciding on if they were going to include the other teams in on their festivities. Hilary was the one who suggested it and she was the only one who wanted it. The others didn't want those heathens in their house, so they decided to visit Jordan's parents in Canada instead.

However, that was at the beginning of December, the chapter really begins now. A figure was sitting by the fireplace reading a book.

"T'was the night before Christmas and all through the hood, not a creature was stirring, not even my landlord…cause I paid that bitch on the 18th. The dime bags were hung on the chimney with care in hopes that my weed dealer, Split Liverstein, would soon be here. The children all rested, snug in their beds while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. Smoke enough angel dust you'll see sugar plums and all kinds of shit. When say what to my wondering eyes did I spy, but a tricked out, pimped out mother fucking ride. With a little old driver, retarded and tan, I knew it must be Saint Nick…or that cat from the boot tank clan. More rapper than eagles his courses they came and he whistled and shouted and called them by name, now Tupac, now Drey, Now Snoop and B.I.G, On Fiddy, Cues, Flavor, Diddy. To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall, now dash away, dash away! MOVE YOUR ASS BEFORE I COOK YA! And then in the twinkling I heard on the roof, the prancing and pawing of each little hoof. My glack in my hand I was turning around and down the chimney St. Nick came with a bound. He was dressed all in fir, from his kicks to his legs, he looked whacked out, cracked out, least I thought he did. He spoke not a word but went to his thing and filled all the dime bags with the stickiest green shit. Laying his finger inside his nose, he been workin all night, you gotta do blow. But I heard him exclaim as he finally submerged "Happy Christmas to all…and that's the last word….bitch!" Jordan turned around.

"Jordan…its not Christmas Eve…" Kenny informed her.

"I don't care I wanted to say it."

"You probably got some of it wrong…" Max added.

"Does it look like I care?"

"Not really." Tyson answered.

"Where's Ray?" Hilary asked.

"We sent him to the roof to put up the Christmas lights."

The sounds of things falling and a mini avalanche of snow passed in front of their window. Everyone ran out to see two legs sticking out of a mound of snow.

"Ray!" Hilary cried as the foot twitched.

"Tyson get the shovel!" Jordan ordered.

"It's right beside you!" Tyson retorted.

"You need to contribute more!"

So Tyson got the shovel and they began their rescue attempt. Thankfully, it wasn't long before they got Ray out of there. He was turning a scary shade of blue and his lips were turning purple. He was shaking violently in his body's attempt to warm him up. Why was it so cold? That was because they stuck with their original plan to go to Jordan's parents house in Canada in Northern Alberta where it was -40 outside.

They put Ray on one of the couches and helped him out of his wet clothes. They gave him a few blankets, brought over the space heater and gave him something warm to drink.

"What happened up there Ray?" Max asked.

Ray gave a little shudder, "I slipped on some ice and by some miracle a string of lights was wrapped around my ankles so I hung there for a few hours until that snow fell off the roof."

"Why didn't you scream? Or try to use your phone and phone the house?" Jordan asked.

"I did scream…I screamed until my lungs froze…" Ray's voice they noticed was significantly quieter and much more hoarse.

"And the phone?"


"You could have at least tried…" Jordan sighed but turned to the others, "Tyson, Max you finish what Ray started. The rest of us will help decorate the house…Kai, you go out with Tyson and Max, you're used to the weather and it'll get done faster…"

"…fine…" Kai answered. They got ready and were soon out there.

Jordan's parents never did bother to put up Christmas lights so while they were out shopping Jordan decided she would surprise them by having them up and running for when they came home. Technically, it was Christmas holidays the date was the 20th. Jordan was looking at the cards on the shelf her mother got from her job.

"The 12 days of 'grossmas'?"

12 yellow snowballs

11 farting reindeer

10 Santa buttcracks

9 Moldy fruitcakes

8 Sweaty long johns

7 frozen boogers

6 Smelly stockings

5 bathroom rings

4 mooning elves

3 Chunky eggnogs

2 Tinsel Hairballs

And a second carrot on a snowman!

"Wow…that was weird…" She put the card back and continued onto correspondence courses she working on. She came across a section called 'Gestures and Behavior.' And a sub section on Russia. It said that it was rude in Russia to slouch and lean on stuff in public. "That's all Kai ever does in public is slouch and lean on shit…no wonder he left…" She continued reading it.

An hour later Tyson, Max and Kai came back in, healthy shades of red and slightly numb. Hilary had hot chocolate waiting for them, which they gratefully drank.

Kai turned on the lights, which didn't just outline the roof…it illuminated the whole thing.

"Holy shit…" Jordan said as she looked at their glowing roof, "I don't know if my parents will like it…but I'm sure as hell not letting them take it down!" Jordan grinned.

Everyone went back inside to wait for Jordan's parents and family to get back…and to watch the Christmas shows…and make beef jerky. Soon they could hear the sounds of an SUV pulling in and they watched in excitement as they saw the look of bewildered awe plastered on their faces as they entered the house, "Jordan…did you put Christmas lights on the roof?"

"We all did." Hilary answered.

"Thanks!" Max grinned, "We all worked really hard on it! Hell Ray nearly died getting them up!"

Jordan's mom paled, "Where is he?"

"I'm on the couch." Ray answered.

Jordan's mom ran over to make sure he was alright. "How do you nearly die from hanging up Christmas lights?" Jordan's brother Josh asked.

"Try hanging there for a few hours by your foot from Christmas lights." Jordan answered.

Jordan's mom was heard cackling at that, Ray and her mom entered the kitchen, "Sorry Ray…I can see you hanging there in my mind and it's so funny!"

"Oh mom…" Jordan facepalmed.

"Sorry…" She began to make supper.

The rest of the day was normal. The next day everyone was assigned roles, Hilary was on phones, Tyson and Max were to entertain Jordan's brothers Josh and Joel. Jordan and Ray were to do errands and Kai decided to go with them. They began their drive…

"So what all do we have to do?" Ray asked.

"Groceries, Mail, drugstore, the bank, UFA and home hardware, and after that or during we can shop for Christmas presents." Jordan answered.

"Alright sounds fun." Ray answered.

"Hnn…" Kai muttered.

They drove into the small town and started their quest and they started in the IGA. They wandered around the IGA looking to complete their list of Christmas goodies…the turkey they wouldn't buy here as it was too expensive. So they got the snacks and appetizers, fetched the mail, did some Christmas shopping, Jordan put some money in her account, and got her dad something at home hardware. They then picked up prescriptions and gassed up then went home…and nothing bad happened! Well Jordan almost hit some deer…but that was it.

"Why didn't you get anything Kai?" Ray asked.

"Everyone's getting a check." He surly answered.

"Oh okay…" Ray answered.


Josh, Joel, Max and Tyson were out hunting, and that was a hilarious but scary thought in itself. Josh and Joel were armed with a 300 win mag and a 30/6. Their prey was any coyote who was unfortunate enough to cross their path. On they continued down the foliage when they heard a twig snap.

BOOM! Max pulled the trigger in the direction he heard it out of fear. After Max got a scolding from the brothers the 4 continued on their hunt.

The others lazed about all day as tomorrow they were heading to the big city…but not really a big city.

After going to bed early and getting up early they were on their way to the big city. Jordan's parents, her brothers, Tyson, Max and Kenny took one vehicle and Jordan, Ray, Kai and Hilary took the other. It was about an hour drive on a poorly paved rode so it was an interesting drive. Max and Tyson loved the bumps as well as Joel. Josh was used to them at this point and Kenny was ready with a barf bucket.

"Bastards just paved this road…it made it even worse." Jordan's dad grumbled.

"What?!" Kenny moaned.

"It's true, they just paved it a few months ago."

They hit a particularly nasty bump. "Tyson aren't you happy you're wearing your seatbelt?" Max chirped happily.

"Yes Max, I am. I'm happy that I'm not bouncing all over the car like what happened that one time." Tyson moodily retorted.

"What happened?" Jordan's mom asked.

"We were going down a road that was ten times worse than this one and Tyson believed that he was too cool for a seatbelt so he got thrown around much to the dislike of the others.

Jordan's mom laughed, "How dumb."

Kenny moaned, "His grandfather's the same…he did the same thing on the same trip."

Jordan's mom laughed at the vision in her head of Tyson and an old man bouncing around in a tiny crowded car, "Oh…sorry Tyson…I can see it in my mind and its so funny…"

In the other car…

"You would think that with the money I donate to this place they could pave better roads…" Jordan grumbled.

"That's the government though." Kai muttered.

"No…it's the people who pave the roads who are to blame because they suck!" Jordan groaned.

They continued on…meanwhile changing into disguises so no one would recognize them. First was the mall, which wasn't half as big as they were used to but it was still a mall nonetheless. They all split up to do their thing, as it would be faster that way. It was lucky that the mall was so small in that you could easily hear what the others were doing simply by the outbursts you would hear of people getting mad at them or them getting mad at people.

There was a nasty fight at Zellers that involved Jordan's mom and Hilary almost stabbing a little old lady…don't get me wrong from what the others heard, she was a cantankerous old bitch and needed it. Thankfully they got her back to the asylum where she belonged.

The others quickly got what they needed and all met in the food court for lunch. Jordan and Ray were dubbed, 'Orange Julius bitches' and were sent to get them. Kai and Josh were now 'Present guarding bitches' and stayed behind to guard the goods. Kai was the intimidator and Josh was the muscle. The others got the food and they ate quickly before anyone found them out or exacted revenge.

Then it was to the second hand game store and EB Games.

"Jordan you have to stay in the car." Hilary informed her.

"What?! Why?!" Jordan protested.

"Because since all you want for Christmas are Final Fantasy games we HAVE to come here, and be damned if I'm telling you or letting you see what you're getting for Christmas!" Ray added.

"Someone's crabby…." Jordan muttered.

"I'm tired of your snooping." Ray answered. He and Hilary went inside the store. Kai was giving out checks so he saw no point in leaving. It was another antagonizing 10 minutes later that everyone came out it was then that they went to EB games where they waited for another hour.

"I bet they got the wrong games and got me something really gay like G-Force or Dungeons of Druaga…"

"I wouldn't worry about it." Kai sullenly answered.

Jordan turned to face where he was sitting in the back, "What do you want for Christmas? Do you think anyone got it for you?"

Kai shrugged, "Maybe, I've always wanted a camera, so I could scrapbook."

Jordan smiled, "That's pretty cool, I'll see what I can find, I didn't know you did that."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me."

Jordan grinned, "I suppose there are…and I'm going to find them out!"

Before Kai could answer Ray and Hilary opened the doors and got in, Kai quickly began to look out the window. "Where to next?" Jordan asked.

"The movie theatre." Hilary answered. So off they drove to the theatre. What was playing? They weren't really sure.

"It better not be Alice in Wonderland…it looks gay…" Jordan muttered.

"You're so picky!" Jordan's mom scolded her.

"And you're going to ask me what happens throughout the whole thing so I miss plot points and can't answer." Jordan answered.

"Yeah probably…" Her mom admitted.

"You're just like grandpa…" Jordan sighed.

"We're gonna go see him tomorrow!" Her mom grinned.


In the end, they decided to see Sherlock Holmes, which was an amazing movie.

The drive home was uneventful, everyone was so exhausted that they slept or just kept to themselves, they unpacked their things as soon as they got home and fell asleep.

The next day everyone got up and caught up on their wrapping, it was a little later in the afternoon when they left to go to Jordan's grandfather's house.

"Don't you have a grandma?"

"Yeah but they're divorced." Jordan answered.

"Why don't we go see both of them?"

"Cause we don't know what they're doing and weren't invited."


"For your own safety keep the windows closed and don't get out of the car right away." Jordan informed them as she turned into the driveway.

"Why?" Ray asked.

Before Jordan could answer the reason why burst out the front door wearing holey pajamas and was carrying a shotgun.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY TREES!" The man began to fire off his gun. Everyone ducked down as he continued to fire his gun. They stayed down until he stopped open firing.

"Is that your grandpa?" Ray asked.

"Mmhmm…" Jordan answered.

He stopped firing the gun and everyone cautiously raised their heads to see the man walking towards them. They sat up and began to collect their stuff they were going to bring inside. He came up to her dad's window, "Sorry…its those goddamn woodpeckers destroying my trees. Please come in!"

Hilary poked her head up to see a couple dead woodpeckers and a few trees with bullet holes in them…she held back a sob. They went inside and other than the occasional racist joke; it was a good and fun visit. They all came back smelling like cigarette smoke, as was the custom.

Soon it was Christmas day and everyone opened their presents. Jordan got all of the final fantasy games she wanted, Hilary opened her presents to find designer clothes, Ray's gifts were interesting, he was on a body building kick so they got him all different kinds of equipment and books, Max got candy and Tyson got beyblade equipment. Kenny got computer stuff and Kai got stuff like aftershave, a gold watch, and cologne and a bottle of vodka from Tyson.

After everyone dispersed to play or use their things, Jordan came up to Kai and handed him a present.

"Merry Christmas Kai." Jordan handed over the gift.

"Merry Christmas." He opened it to find scrapbooking stuff and a camera.

"KAI!" 5 voices yelled.

"What now…" He muttered.

"What's the big idea!" Tyson flashed the card in his face.

Jordan grabbed it and read it, "Merry Christmas from Kai, P.S Buy your own goddamn presents."

"Shit I forgot the checks…" Kai muttered.


So yeah sorry this was late, and sorry if it wasn't really funny, it was a real spur of the moment sort of update since I only really manage to do this one twice a year…so yeah I'll update whenever I get the chance.

Sakura Sama 101