Ooooooh, A new Story :D
I see you. You are standing there, by the window, like you always do. I know it's hard for you to be here again. I would feel the same if I was in your place. After all that we've been through, you still don't know who you are. It must be very hard. I understand. I wish I could do something for you.
I feel your gaze on me. Why are you looking at me? Why do you even care for me? You saved me, you brought me back here, to the only place I ever called home.
What more could I ask for?
I feel the wind on my skin. It's cold. The sky is grey. I think it will rain soon. I hear you coming closer, your shoes making noises on the floor.
Then you touch me.
Very shyly your fingers are resting on my shoulder. It feels nice. I don't understand this feeling. What is this? My stomach seems to be dancing, my whole body is freaking.
You put your hand away, the feeling leaves with you, replaced by an emotion I already know:
I miss you.
I feel that you are looking after me as I leave the room, but I can't stand this silence anymore. Why can't I say something, anything? Some days ago, conversation was so easy. But now… I'm unable to admit a word. I'm afraid to say the wrong thing, afraid to hurt you again.
… afraid of being hurt again.
I know I could never live without you. I realized that when Chloé had taken you away. I am sorry, Kirika. I turn around, I can't stay here just doing nothing. I approach you and encircle you with my arms.
I am surprised to hear a sob. I feel my own tears filling my eyes when I see you crying.
You say my name in a way no one else can. I like hearing you saying it with your japanese accent.
"What is it", I ask softly.
You don't respond, you only lean into my embrace and tilt your head back so I can see your face clearly. Now I see wet traces on your cheeks, your eyes are closed.
All of my life I've been hiding. I always wished there was someone just like you. Now that you're here, now that I found you, I know that you're the one to set me free. When you look into my eyes my knees become weak and I can't move. I can't speak. When you speak, I shake through inside… I love your voice.
I feel you. Only you. Your arms around me. I think I had always been waiting for this. It feels good to be so close to you. Strange, but good.
You are shivering, I realize. I guess you are cold, it started to rain outside, the window is still opened. I reach out and close it.
I hear you sigh. But this is not a content sigh. It sounds sad. You have something on your mind that bothers you, I know.
And I guess I know what is is.
What shall I do? I didn't dare touch you, but now I don't want to ever let you go again. I turn you around in my arms so I can look into your beautiful face and your soft brown eyes. I try to read what's on your mind. And I see you're thinking about me. I can tell by the way you are looking at me right now. I raise one hand and stroke your cheek, wiping your tears away. You close your eyes and nuzzle against my hand.
I believe that we can work things out.
Shyly you wrap your arms around me. I know this is new for you. I never embraced you, and I never let you come so close to me. But I need this now. I need you. More than anything else in this world.
Why are you thinking so much? And why don't you say a word? Why can't we just go back to normal?
I know we can't.
Deep inside, I know it.
We never lived "normal".
We always had to hide, and we always had something to fear. Something like a dark shadow around us.
A shadow named Les Soldats.
Maybe it's already too late...
…and we won't be able to erase them, but as long as there's love…
… they're not gonna get us.
My ears perk up when you say my name. Your arms around me tighten and you take a deep breath in.
Your voice is shaking when you continue.
"I love you."
I knew you do. Though you hide it very good I knew. You have always been there for me.
All I ever wanted was for you to love me like I love you.
"Daisuki-na Mireille… I love you too." I whisper very quietly, but I know you understood clearly. I bury my face in your neck, smelling your pleasant scent.
Human hearts have sorrows. They feel pain and sadness, they can break. But my heart feels like flying right now.
I wish for this moment to last for a lifetime… I won't ever let you go again.
You raise one hand and stroke my cheek.
Gently you push my head up and face me. I see affection in your wonderful blue eyes. You love me, it's true.
When I look down into your hazel eyes I can see what you're thinking. My finger slightly touches your lips.
I never trusted anyone enough to allow them to touch my face… I like it when you do. I feel save. I could never tell you what I feel. I don't have the courage. And I know it's the same with you.
I always had to hide my feelings… assassins have to hide their feelings. If you let someone come close to you, you'll only be hurt.
When you touch my lips, I want to... I want to kiss you. But… Am I allowed to do that? Chloé kissed me. I didn't feel anything. But I think I will feel… something when you kiss me.
Couldn't I try?
Maybe you'll be mad at me when I kiss you. Or offended. I don't know.
What's your problem? Why is there fear in your eyes?
What are you waiting for, Mireille…
You are frightened. But why?
I can't stand it… Please, Mireille, do something, anything…
You close your eyes and let your head rest at my shoulder. I feel something wet on my cheek.
Why am I crying?
Because I have been so stupid.
Gently I take your face in both my hands and lift your head. Your eyes remain closed. I lean in and kiss you.
I knew I would feel something. And I don't feel just SOMETHING. I feel so… content. So good. Like all my fears and sorrows had disappeared, as if they had never excisted.
To fast you pull away again. The taste still lingers on my lips. I can't describe it. I wish you would do that again.
It felt… wonderful. Though you didn't respond. I had already forgotten what a kiss feels like. I don't know what you think… please, do something… show me what bothers you.
No matter what else might happen… I'll never send you away again.
Let's not care about the past. Let's not care about the future. Let's care for now.
You lift your hand and touch my face.
Your skin is so… soft and warm. I always wanted to be close to you. But you denied me. I felt you didn' really want it, but I guess I were right. Assassins shouldn't let anyone come too close. This only causes pain and suffering.
But I don't care anymore. Right now, I do not suffer.
I never thought that I would be allowed to touch you. That you would let me come so close to you.
You have always been there for me… When I needed you, you were almost here.
Isn't it funny…? We slept in the same bed from the very beginning, but I never let you look inside me. I never let you look inside my hell.
Isn't it funny how one moment can change a life?
I feel that I don't need to be afraid. I'm ready to start a new life with you, Mireille.
I pushed you away. And yet, you still stay with me. I can't tell you how much this means to me. You still reach out to me. Although I've been very unfair.
But does it matter anymore?
When I look up to you now I see that you are smiling. And I can do nothing but smile back.
This is strange. I never felt like smiling. But now…
You smile at me. You SMILE. I can't fight it, this surprises me. But not in a bad way. I lean down and kiss you again. Very shyly you move your mouth against mine.
This feels even better than before.
Mmmmmmmm… it feels so… wonderful.
When we pull apart, you look at me, your eyes full of affection. Then your lips open to say something.
"I love you, Kirika."
I feel my smile growing when I answer:
"I love you, too."
And I know it's true.
I lead you to the bedroom and we lay down, still holding on to each other. I realize we've never been so close to each other. I feel a sudden urge to kiss you again. And I do. You sigh into my mouth. And I know you enjoy it as much as I do.I pull the covers over us. You're cuddling into my embrace, your arms are around my waist, your head is resting on my chest. Somehow this is comfortable.
You look so innocent. Though your hands are black with sin you are still so naive. But no matter, I love you.
"Hey, little one…", I whisper softly in your ear," Tomorrow we'll start a new life. Without sins and murder."
You smile again. I find myself lost in you arms. And I know I wasn't wrong to let you live.
Yes, We'll start a new life. I promise. And THIS is a promise I'll never break.
I run my fingers through your hair. I know you won't leave me again.
I am so… content. Right now, it's all so… it seems so… right. Your happy expression, the small smile on your face, just everything. And I hope it will stay like that forever. That's all I ever wanted. A happy, normal life with you, Mireille. And It seems that I finally got what I wanted. Maybe I don't deserve it.
But I don't care. Everything I want, everything I need, is right here in my arms. And I will never let you go.
Sometimes you just have to let things happen. And when I love you, then that's it. I know by now. And I don't care for anything else.
I love you, Kirika. That's all I've got to tell you.
Time goes by so fast… I'm tired. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in, smelling your delicate scent.
"Good night, my love.", you whisper.
"Good night…", I answer,"Ai shiteru, Mireiyu."
Your amrs around me tighten and a sigh escapes your lips. But this time, it is a content sigh.
I know… I know the hard times are over now.
Let's not care for the past.
Let's not care for the future.
Let's only care for now. I lift my head and look into the saphire eyes that I love so much. I smile again, lean forward. I'm met by your lips halfway. You capture our lips to a loving kiss. I don't know where I know this word from. "Loving". I like this word. And I like the word "love". It means something wonderful, I knew this before. But now I can tell excactly what is means.
Love really makes you do crazy things. Right now, I want to jump, to shout, to tell the whole world that I'm in love with Kirika Yuumura.
And I will love her until I die.
You delivered me out of my despair.
You delivered me out of my sadness.
And now, you fill my heart with joy.
Thank you, Mireille.