4When I was Invincible
You come to know at a certain point that you are going to die. You cannot imagine why it comes when it does but the knowledge creeps up on you and wham; you know your time is running out.
Maybe it is because I have reached the lowest point in my life. I am alone, I have scared off all my friends and all of the adults in my life have betrayed me.
You see, I am not just a supposed hero, I am a boy. A boy who knows he will never have a chance to be a man. I have never felt carefree but right now, I can tell you, the world has turned against me and it is all because of that stupid prophecy that wannabe seer made. I mean why can she only have real prophesies about me I mean, every time I went to her class for three years she has told me I am going to die. Well someone should tell her I finally believe the old quack.
I know I am going to miss my friends the most because, well, they are the only family I have left. I won't put in any names just in case this falls into the wrong hands but they know who they are When I reflect upon the last six years, I remember all of the danger I have put them through. They might have followed me out of friendship but I am starting to believe that I let them follow out of selfishness.
Many people do not believe the prophecy and I do not blame them. I mean, it took me a year to come to terms that I was going to die. I have always had a sense of my own mortality for Merlin's sake; I am only 16 years old! You think that MAN could wait for me to grow up, don't you? No, I am not talking about He-Who-Scares-Me-To-Death but of He-Who-Thinks-He-Can-Run-My-Sorry-Life. Yes, I know some of you think he is the greatest wizard of the age but you don't see Him meddling in your life, do you? Well from the day that prophecy was made, he has tried to push me where I am unsure of going.
I must digress; this is not supposed to be a rant about Him, but more of a treatise on my life. I guess you could say our lives were intimately bound together by no will of my own.
As I grew up, I knew no one loved me. My aunt and uncle made sure I knew that. I was always different and they trod on me as if I wasn't even human. When I went to school, only then did I find out what true acceptance was and that came in the form of, you guessed it, my friends.
Who could ask for better ones? They never turned their backs on me willingly and only did when I made perfectly clear I didn't want them around. If only they had seen through my façade! As I am sitting here writing this, I feel as if a part of me is dying already. It must be that infernal hope that managed to stay alive despite all of the things in my first four years. I guess you could also say it was my fifth year when the light started going out. I remember my godfather and how much he loved life and I remember the day when I killed him. It was later that same day that I heard that forsaken prophecy.
Damn Him, damn them all!
I mean, why me? Why? Why does it always have to be me? I am just a boy! I do not want this responsibility. Give it to someone who cares! Give this damn world to someone who has something to live for! I mean I know that everyone thinks I am special but I am just me! I am not especially good at anything except getting the ones that I do love in danger. Take it back! I don't want this, I never wanted this. You, who are willing to let me die for everyone else, damn you! And you world, fuck you for ever believing that I cared because I don't! He-Who-Is-Evil can win because I am not fighting him. You hear me world? I WON"T BE YOUR SCAPEGOAT! It is up to you now.
I am not going to fight him for you world because . . . because . . . because I'm scared and I know in my heart that I am going to die because no matter what you say, I am not invincible.